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WOSSNAME -- MAY 2005 -- PART 4 OF 4

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  • JSCHAUM111@aol.com
    WOSSNAME -- MAY 2005 -- PART 4 OF 4 ... oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ==== Part 4 6) YOUR NEW DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE by Lady Anaemia
    Message 1 of 1 , Jun 2 1:01 AM
      WOSSNAME -- MAY 2005 -- PART 4 OF 4
      ==== Part 4

      by Lady Anaemia Asterisk
      (continued from Part 3)


      Hoki the Jokester 22 Dec - 20 Jan

      So you thought you could do magic, just because Hoki is the Sign of
      powerful witches? Well, you ain't seen nothing yet, as they say in
      the Ramtops (mostly because there isn't a lot to see there). Hold on
      to your pointy hat, because the new influences of the rare octarine
      star Thaumsup A mean a mighty surge of magical power is on its way to
      you this month! On the 5th, you'll master the trick of turning frogs
      into princes by kicking them - come one now, wouldn't you rather kick
      a prince than kiss one? On the 11th, you'll finally stop making a
      shambles of your shambles. On the 22nd, the lotion for your devotion
      potion will bring forth an ocean of emotion, and on the 30th you'll
      devise a spell that answers the Hedgehog Question once and for all
      (make sure you wear thick gloves for that one). Hoki's hold over your
      sixth sense grows ever more intense; not only will you see dead
      people, you'll convince them to do the washing-up and sweep under
      those hard-to-reach places below the cellar stairs. Speaking of
      Death, make sure to top up your biscuit jar around mid-month. I'd say
      you never know when exalted company might drop by, but we both know
      better. Avoid mirrors.


      The Rather Large Gazunda 21 Jan - 18 Feb

      The Gazunda is the Sign of Seamstresses, subversives, adventurers and
      exotic dancers, but few people realise that it's also the Sign of
      Multiple Personality sufferers. Keep a good hold on your sense of
      reality this month if you don't want to end up beside yourself! The
      Rather Large Gazunda is poised directly opposite to Gahoolie in the
      new Zodiac; this means Hu's also in *your* House, but yours is the
      House of Hedbangur, which means you're under the influence of, erm,
      being Under the Influence - in other words, don't sign any documents
      after the Sun is over the yardarm, and take a crash course from your
      Bilian friends in surviving hangovers. Of course, if you do suffer
      from Multiple Personality thingy, you could always send one of your
      other selves out to party hard. Be kind to ducks this month and don't
      forget to give generously to the Distressed Novelists' Appeal
      (because one should strive to do unto authors, etc.) and to fellow MP
      sufferer Count Notfaroutoe's rehab appeal (because one should strive
      to undo two Arthurs). Speaking of senses of reality, I think I just
      lost mine. It must be all that Space.

      Lesser Umbrage (formerly The Flying Moose) 19 Feb - 20 Mar

      The constellation and Sign of Lesser Umbrage is, as the name implies,
      rather...lesser. In fact, it's almost as small and faint as the Small
      Boring Group of Faint Stars. But don't be fooled by that smallness,
      because Lesser Umbrage is the sign of the most subtly flamboyant and
      dangerous people of all - yes, Assassins! Umbragians lead almost
      charmed lives. They are graceful, daring, ruthless** and above all,
      stylish. And those are just the civilians. A trained Assassins' Guild
      graduate who's also an Umbragian is as dangerous as they come. So
      this month's horoscope isn't for the benefit of beings born under
      this surprising Sign - it's for the benefit of everyone else: be
      respectful of Umbragians wearing black (if you even notice them
      passing). Don't make them angry (especially if they're carrying small
      pointy things). Best of all, avoid them altogether if possible until
      the 17th, when the Guild holds its annual Reunion Day. You'd be
      better off doing safer things, like dancing with elves...

      ** with the exception of the notorious Contessa de Ruth, an Umbragian
      of many parts, friend to Lord Downey and rumoured to have been Lady
      Meserole's governess.


      ... and there you have it. Please write directly to WOSSNAME
      at jschaum111@... if you have any questions and we will
      forward them directly to Lady Asterisk. If she's in a good mood,
      she may even answer them.


      At long last, we are reviving our popular puzzle series, which
      we'd stopped because we'd run out of books, and none of the
      alternatives seemed suitable.

      However, the thought of starting over again with THE COLOUR
      OF MAGIC horrified us, so we took a closer look at the
      alternatives and they seemed more suitable somehow.

      This month's book is "ONCE MORE -- with footnotes" and completion
      of the puzzle will reveal where the book was released. In the next few
      months, we will continue the puzzles with "The Science of Discworld"
      I, II, and III, "Thud," and "Nanny Ogg's Cookbook." This should take us
      up to October, 2005, and where we go from there will depend on Terry's
      output or our inspiration. It has been pointed out that we have not done
      the Mapps or the comics or the Yearbook/Diaries or even the Calendars,
      not to mention the non-Discworld titles.

      What do our readers say?

      Answer the questions and put the letter indicated into
      the spot shown. Read the letters backwards and
      find out where it all took place
      (Note: all spellings are from the 2004 NESFA edition.)
      Example: Pratchett's first name -- 1st letter:
      ANSWER: Terry = T

      1. A record collector who couldn't bear a hole in his collection
      (first name, 4th letter)
      2. Named an apple after Nanny Ogg (last name, 2nd letter)
      3. Hero of Terry's first published story (first name, 1st letter)
      4. Created dwarfish game of hnaflbaflsniflwifltafl (first name, 2nd letter)
      5. Confronts Cohen the Barbarian at bridge (first name, 4th letter)
      6. Hero of book by Dogger (first name, 1st letter)
      7. Pulls sword from stone and become king (first name , 2nd letter)
      8. Jason Ogg's secret of controlling horses (first name, 2nd letter)
      9. Author of the Ankh-Morpork National Anthem (first name, 3rd letter)

      __/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/ = Where it all happened
      1*/ 2*/ 3*/4*/ 5*/6*/7*/8*/9*/

      Puzzle solution will appear next month.
      If you did not get all 4 parts, write: jschaum111@...
      Copyright (c) 2005 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

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