May 2000 Part 2
11) MERCHANDISE - NEW AND OLD STUFF FROM C.M.O.T. BRIGGS
(Kindly snipped from alt.fan.pratchett.announce)
**UNSEEN UNIVERSITY RANGE**
Like all the best seats of learning, UU sells its degrees. And who
than CMOT Dibbler to act as their agent?
UNSEEN UNIVERSITY DEGREE
You, too, can graduate as a Bachelor of Fluencing (B.F.) from the Disc's
premier college of wizardry. Send for an
exam paper (email me your postal address with the heading UU Exam
complete & return it and - if you score more than 88% and if you enclose
right payment - you'll receive an elegant certificate, inscribed with
name and signed and stamped by Ridcully plus an octagonal UU alumnus pin
badge crafted in antiqued 'bronze' (appr 31mm diag.). The degree,
including your 'exam fees', costs 6 + 50p UK P&P (1-EC, 2 RoW).
UNSEEN UNIVERSITY DOCTORATE
Qualify and help Orangutans! You read it in Jingo and now you, too, can
Doctorus Adamus cum Flabello Dulce. And the good news is you don't need
sit an exam for this one. All you have to do is pay us and tell us
what name you want on your certificate. You get a smart certificate and
badge depicting, in gilt and coloured enamels, the UU shield surrounded
laurel wreath. Summa Cum Laude: An exclusive, alternate, version of the
doctorate badge is available only to BFs. Enclose a photocopy of your BF
certificate with your order & get, with your Doctorate certificate, the
desirable 'Summa Cum Laude' badge, which omits the wreath and by its
subtlety demonstrates that you got your doctorate the hard way. This
exclusive version is only available to BFs, although they can *opt* for
version with the wreath if they prefer. Each badge and certificate is
50p UK P&P (1-EC, 2-RoW). At least 1.50 from each degree sold goes to
UNSEEN UNIVERSITY BADGE
If you don't fancy the Doctortae but do fancy the badge, you can just
one of the UU badges (the version with the laurel wreath)for only 4.00
40p UK P&P (75p-EC, 1.50-RoW).
UNSEEN UNIVERSITY SCARF
All-wool, 10" x 72", with longitudinal stripes in navy, crimson, yellow
purple and the UU crest embroidered in colour at one end, this elegant
outshines all other collegiate neckwear. 21.00, + 2 UK P&P (3-EC,
UNSEEN UNIVERSITY T-SHIRT
A white T-shirt, emblazoned with the UU crest in navy blue and
the legend - Unseen University - in a style copied by many other, more
junior, seats of learning. Available only in L or XL. 11.00 plus 1 UK
**CITY WATCH RANGE**
With the generous permission of Commander Vimes and Captain Carrot of
Ankh-Morpork City Watch, we at CMOT Enterprises are proud to bring you:
CITY WATCH T-SHIRT
The new Watch badge, drawn by Paul Kidby and printed in blue on a black
T-shirt, L or XL only. On the back, the City Watch motto in blue -
DIEM PVNC. 11.00 plus 1 UK P&P (2-EC, 3-RoW).
CITY WATCH BADGE
Crafted in antique finished metal, sculpted in full relief, this lapel
(approx 35mm across) is an accurate replica of the brand new version of
City Watch badge, commissioned by Lord Vetinari and featured in the
Discworld Diary 1999. 4.50 plus 40p UK P&P (75p-EC, 1.50-RoW).
**OUR BADGE RANGE**
As well as the City Watch badge, we have a range of top quality badges
the discerning customer:
THE 'MORT' PENDANT
Modeled in antiqued 'silver' (appr. 25mm diag.), this is based on Mort's
coat of arms (crossed scythes and an hourglass, with the motto: NON
MESSOR). It comes with a hanging loop, but you supply your own
chain/cord/whatever. 6.00 plus 40p UK P&P (75p-EC, 1.50-RoW).
THE ANKH-MORPORK BADGE
Crafted in gilt metal by skilled dwarf craftsmen, the badge (appr. 14mm
14mm) features a relief design of the Morpork owl holding an ankh.
is with a butterfly pin, so this can be used as a lapel pin, tie pin or
studded onto a leather jacket. 2.75, plus P&P as for the pendant.
THE LUGGAGE BADGE
Again, tie-pin-sized, this badge is of the Disc's most unstoppable
accessory, crafted in gilt metal, with the trunk picked out in
yellow and brown enamel. 3.50, plus P&P as for the pendant.
THE 'OOK!' BADGE
On a cast metal lapel badge shaped like a speech 'bubble' (appr 30mm
across), the simple word - 'Ook!' on a white enamel background. It's the
answer to every question and it's a must for all librarians and/or fans
UU's most intelligent wizard. 4.00 plus P&P as for the pendant.
'I STILL ATE'NT DEAD' BADGE
A cast metal lapel badge based on Granny Weatherwax's 'borrowing' card -
make sure your friends don't bury you too soon. The badge is in a
oblong (appr. 40mm diag.), with the text on a white enamel background.
plus P&P as for the pendant.
ASSASSINS' PREFECT BADGE
Modeled in gilt metal with a full colour design in hard-baked enamels of
Assassins' Guild shield with the legend beneath: 'PREFECT'. This is an
accurate replica of the badge (appr. 30mm high) worn by Prefects at the
exclusive Guild of Assassins in Ankh-Morpork and featured in the
Discworld Diary 2000. 4.00 plus P&P as for the pendant.
BLOOD DONOR BADGE
Modeled in gilt metal with a design in red and black enamel, this is the
badge commissioned for the Count de Magpyr from a suggestion by Agnes
in Carpe Jugulum. Getting one from us is a lot less of a pain in the
On a red circle is superimposed a black bat. Around it are the words:
BERWALD BLOOD DONORS CLUB. The badge is about 27mm across. 3.50 plus P&P
for the pendant.
***SAVE*** - Buy any two badges together and UK P&P is only 50p for the
(90p-EC, 1.75-RoW). Buy any four badges and the UK P&P is only 85p
**THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD**
... and much cheaper, too!
DISCWORLD 'Signed' PEN
A *very* smart Parker Rialto metal ballpen, in matt black finish with
trim. Laser engraved with Terry Pratchett's signature. All in a smart
presentation box. The ideal gift for anyone who wants a signed pen to go
with their signed books. This is a short run of 50, at 25.00 each, plus
P&P (2-EC, 3-RoW).
DISCWORLD 'Signed' PEN - Economy Version
A Parker Vector ballpen, black with steel trim. Printed with Terry
Pratchett's signature. This is still a nice pen for everyday use, at
each inc. box, plus 1 UK P&P (2-EC, 3-RoW).
Never happy to rest on our laurels, we're launching a wadge of new stuff
UBERWALD TEMPERANCE MOVEMENT
We met them first in 'The Fifth Elephant' and they're back in 'The
lapel pin in the shape of a black, charity 'ribbon', modeled in gilt
with black and red enamel and bearing the motto: 'Living Not In Vein'.
plus 75p P&P (1.25 EC, 2.50 R0W)
ANKH-MORPORK TIMES KEY-RING
Ankh-Morpork's first newspaper is the setting for 'The Truth' and we've
lucky enough to secure some of Mr. Dibbler's promotional key-rings. An
authentic bit of Dibbler merchandise - except that these are good
sturdy and serviceable. A brushed stainless steel fob with the legend 'I
the Ankh-Morpork Times - - The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret' embossed and
in-filled in black enamel. 3.00, plus 75p P&P (1.25 EC, 2.50 RoW)
A quality, 'natural' colour, 100% cotton apron, bearing the legend,
in green - 'I Gobbled All I Could for a Dollar at HARGA'S HOUS OF RIBS'.
Should sell for around 7.00, plus 1.20 P&P (2 EC, 3, RoW). **NOT
MENDED DRUM Tea-Towel
'Natural' coloured 100% cotton tea towel, printed in blue with a view of
Ankh-Morpork's best-known ale house, drawn by Stephen Briggs and based
Bernard Pearson's model. Should sell for around 3.50 (plus 75p P&P (1.25
2.50 RoW). **NOT AVAILABLE UNTIL MID-2000**.
THE LAST HERO MISSION PATCH
The book's not out until 2001 but we already have plans for a snazzy
embroidered NASA-style mission patch (you'll know why when you've read
book). This is likely to be a limited edition and will be based on
specially commissioned from Paul Kidby. THIS WON'T BE AVAILABLE UNTIL
we'll tell you more as soon as we have details!
HOW TO ORDER -
Just send your order to me with a sterling cheque payable to 'S P
for the full amount, *including post & packing*. Please post orders to
Stephen Briggs, PO Box 147, Oxford, OX2 8YT.
PLEASE NOTE - THESE ARE IMPORTANT
Cheques just payable to 'S P Briggs'. Not 'CMOT Briggs'; not 'CMOT
Dibbler' - you wouldn't believe how little sense of humour my bank has
humorously inscribed cheques.
Please write your cheque guarantee number on the back of the cheque -
rubber cheques can be a real nuisance!
Payments only in sterling. Sterling Eurocheque, Bank Draft or cash.
but I'm just too small for Visa/Mastercard, etc. Please note - just
out your own currency on a personal cheque and replacing it with a ''
is not acceptable to UK banks (sorry to go on about it, but it does
Please don't send orders by any mail system which requires a signature
the addressee - I'm never in when the postman calls and
letters can actually take up to an extra ten days or more to get to me.
Please be patient! This is a one-man band. And a pretty disorganised one
that. If you think your order's been lost and your cheque hasn't been
cashed, DON'T PANIC. It's probably just me being inefficient. Apart from
exceptional circumstances, I won't bank your cheque until I've sent the
This is all run by one person (me) from a small flat. What passes for my
normal service closes down between 25 November and 6 January each year.
do my level best to make sure Christmas orders are sent out in time to
Santa's sack, but I can only guarantee to beat the 'Last Posting Dates'
receive the order by 25 November. Sorry.
STEPHEN (C.M.O.T.) BRIGGS (England)
12) [ADVERTISMENT] PHANTASIA BOOKSHOP
With the Australian dollar low in the financial waters (for US and UK
peoples) or before the GST (Generally Sh*ty Tax) comes into effect in
Australia there is no better time to visit www.phantasia.com.au.
That's right everybody Australia's premiere Science Fiction, Fantasy &
Mystery Bookshop as got its on-line shop up and ready for you to visit.
Lovers of Science Fiction, Fantasy and Mystery can now purchase books
us via their secure online shopping facility - or make use of it to
a regular phone or fax mail order purchase. Just click the "Let's go
shopping" button on the site to be transferred to the inventory and
purchasing facility. While they have made available a
significant portion of their inventory, more backlist titles will be
every week until we have complete online access to our regular in-store
stock. They'll also be adding videos and merchandise in the future. In
meantime, if there is a title you are after that isn't currently listed
the online shop, just contact them and they can advise price and
That URL again is: http://www.phantasia.com.au Phone, fax and address
details are available on the site.
13) KLATCHIAN FOREIGN LEGION RESOURCES
Each month (well, usually), as well as WOSSNAME going out by e-mail,
the plain text of the newsletter is embellished with fantastic
graphics and put up on the Society Web site,
As well as the full text of WOSSNAME going out by e-mail, there is
also sent out a much shorter e-mail announcing that the new version
of WOSSNAME is available on the Web. So, if you'd prefer to receive
this shorter notification, rather than the whole text of WOSSNAME,
just let us know!
The announcement list will also be used by other groups in the
Klatchian Foreign Legion, such as by the Bugarup University Students'
Guild for announcing BUNS (see above), so you may want to join that
list anyway, even if you still want to receive the whole text of
WOSSNAME by e-mail. To subscribe to the announcement list, just go
or send an empty e-mail to
Also on the subject of the Legion, the Klatchian Foreign Legion
Webring has recently started. A Webring, in case you don't know, is
a group of Web sites that share a common interest or theme, and have
links to one another such that by following the link, you travel all
the way "around the ring", visiting each site in turn. In the case
of the Legion's Webring, the sites are those of groups like the North
American Discworld Society, the Guild of Fans and Disciples and the
Bugarup University Students' Guild, as well as any other Web site
with an emphasis on regional Pratchett fandom, at anything from the
local level up to the continental level. To visit the Webring, or to
add your site to it, just visit