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May 2000 Part 2

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  • Jason Parlevliet
    BUSINESS: 11) MERCHANDISE - NEW AND OLD STUFF FROM C.M.O.T. BRIGGS (Kindly snipped from alt.fan.pratchett.announce) **UNSEEN UNIVERSITY RANGE** Like all the
    Message 1 of 1 , May 23, 2000
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      BUSINESS:

      11) MERCHANDISE - NEW AND OLD STUFF FROM C.M.O.T. BRIGGS
      (Kindly snipped from alt.fan.pratchett.announce)

      **UNSEEN UNIVERSITY RANGE**
      Like all the best seats of learning, UU sells its degrees. And who
      better
      than CMOT Dibbler to act as their agent?

      UNSEEN UNIVERSITY DEGREE
      You, too, can graduate as a Bachelor of Fluencing (B.F.) from the Disc's
      premier college of wizardry. Send for an
      exam paper (email me your postal address with the heading UU Exam
      Please),
      complete & return it and - if you score more than 88% and if you enclose
      the
      right payment - you'll receive an elegant certificate, inscribed with
      your
      name and signed and stamped by Ridcully plus an octagonal UU alumnus pin
      badge crafted in antiqued 'bronze' (appr 31mm diag.). The degree,
      including your 'exam fees', costs 6 + 50p UK P&P (1-EC, 2 RoW).

      UNSEEN UNIVERSITY DOCTORATE
      Qualify and help Orangutans! You read it in Jingo and now you, too, can
      be a
      Doctorus Adamus cum Flabello Dulce. And the good news is you don't need
      to
      sit an exam for this one. All you have to do is pay us and tell us
      exactly
      what name you want on your certificate. You get a smart certificate and
      a
      badge depicting, in gilt and coloured enamels, the UU shield surrounded
      by a
      laurel wreath. Summa Cum Laude: An exclusive, alternate, version of the
      doctorate badge is available only to BFs. Enclose a photocopy of your BF
      certificate with your order & get, with your Doctorate certificate, the
      highly
      desirable 'Summa Cum Laude' badge, which omits the wreath and by its
      subtlety demonstrates that you got your doctorate the hard way. This
      exclusive version is only available to BFs, although they can *opt* for
      the
      version with the wreath if they prefer. Each badge and certificate is
      7.50 +
      50p UK P&P (1-EC, 2-RoW). At least 1.50 from each degree sold goes to
      the
      Orangutan Foundation!

      UNSEEN UNIVERSITY BADGE
      If you don't fancy the Doctortae but do fancy the badge, you can just
      order
      one of the UU badges (the version with the laurel wreath)for only 4.00
      plus
      40p UK P&P (75p-EC, 1.50-RoW).

      UNSEEN UNIVERSITY SCARF
      All-wool, 10" x 72", with longitudinal stripes in navy, crimson, yellow
      &
      purple and the UU crest embroidered in colour at one end, this elegant
      item
      outshines all other collegiate neckwear. 21.00, + 2 UK P&P (3-EC,
      5-RoW).

      UNSEEN UNIVERSITY T-SHIRT
      A white T-shirt, emblazoned with the UU crest in navy blue and
      surrounded by
      the legend - Unseen University - in a style copied by many other, more
      junior, seats of learning. Available only in L or XL. 11.00 plus 1 UK
      P&P
      (2-EC, 3-RoW).

      *************************************************

      **CITY WATCH RANGE**
      With the generous permission of Commander Vimes and Captain Carrot of
      the
      Ankh-Morpork City Watch, we at CMOT Enterprises are proud to bring you:

      *************************************************

      CITY WATCH T-SHIRT
      The new Watch badge, drawn by Paul Kidby and printed in blue on a black
      T-shirt, L or XL only. On the back, the City Watch motto in blue -
      FABRICATI
      DIEM PVNC. 11.00 plus 1 UK P&P (2-EC, 3-RoW).

      CITY WATCH BADGE
      Crafted in antique finished metal, sculpted in full relief, this lapel
      badge
      (approx 35mm across) is an accurate replica of the brand new version of
      the
      City Watch badge, commissioned by Lord Vetinari and featured in the
      Discworld Diary 1999. 4.50 plus 40p UK P&P (75p-EC, 1.50-RoW).

      *************************************************

      **OUR BADGE RANGE**
      As well as the City Watch badge, we have a range of top quality badges
      for
      the discerning customer:

      *************************************************

      THE 'MORT' PENDANT

      Modeled in antiqued 'silver' (appr. 25mm diag.), this is based on Mort's
      coat of arms (crossed scythes and an hourglass, with the motto: NON
      TIMETIS
      MESSOR). It comes with a hanging loop, but you supply your own
      chain/cord/whatever. 6.00 plus 40p UK P&P (75p-EC, 1.50-RoW).

      THE ANKH-MORPORK BADGE
      Crafted in gilt metal by skilled dwarf craftsmen, the badge (appr. 14mm
      x
      14mm) features a relief design of the Morpork owl holding an ankh.
      Fastening
      is with a butterfly pin, so this can be used as a lapel pin, tie pin or
      just
      studded onto a leather jacket. 2.75, plus P&P as for the pendant.

      THE LUGGAGE BADGE
      Again, tie-pin-sized, this badge is of the Disc's most unstoppable
      travel
      accessory, crafted in gilt metal, with the trunk picked out in
      hard-baked
      yellow and brown enamel. 3.50, plus P&P as for the pendant.

      THE 'OOK!' BADGE
      On a cast metal lapel badge shaped like a speech 'bubble' (appr 30mm
      across), the simple word - 'Ook!' on a white enamel background. It's the
      answer to every question and it's a must for all librarians and/or fans
      of
      UU's most intelligent wizard. 4.00 plus P&P as for the pendant.

      'I STILL ATE'NT DEAD' BADGE
      A cast metal lapel badge based on Granny Weatherwax's 'borrowing' card -
      make sure your friends don't bury you too soon. The badge is in a
      battered
      oblong (appr. 40mm diag.), with the text on a white enamel background.
      4.25
      plus P&P as for the pendant.

      ASSASSINS' PREFECT BADGE
      Modeled in gilt metal with a full colour design in hard-baked enamels of
      the
      Assassins' Guild shield with the legend beneath: 'PREFECT'. This is an
      accurate replica of the badge (appr. 30mm high) worn by Prefects at the
      exclusive Guild of Assassins in Ankh-Morpork and featured in the
      upcoming
      Discworld Diary 2000. 4.00 plus P&P as for the pendant.

      BLOOD DONOR BADGE
      Modeled in gilt metal with a design in red and black enamel, this is the
      badge commissioned for the Count de Magpyr from a suggestion by Agnes
      Nitt
      in Carpe Jugulum. Getting one from us is a lot less of a pain in the
      neck.
      On a red circle is superimposed a black bat. Around it are the words:
      BERWALD BLOOD DONORS CLUB. The badge is about 27mm across. 3.50 plus P&P
      as
      for the pendant.


      ***SAVE*** - Buy any two badges together and UK P&P is only 50p for the
      two.
      (90p-EC, 1.75-RoW). Buy any four badges and the UK P&P is only 85p
      (1.50-EC,
      3-RoW).


      **THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD**
      ... and much cheaper, too!

      DISCWORLD 'Signed' PEN
      A *very* smart Parker Rialto metal ballpen, in matt black finish with
      gilt
      trim. Laser engraved with Terry Pratchett's signature. All in a smart
      presentation box. The ideal gift for anyone who wants a signed pen to go
      with their signed books. This is a short run of 50, at 25.00 each, plus
      1 UK
      P&P (2-EC, 3-RoW).

      DISCWORLD 'Signed' PEN - Economy Version
      A Parker Vector ballpen, black with steel trim. Printed with Terry
      Pratchett's signature. This is still a nice pen for everyday use, at
      7.50
      each inc. box, plus 1 UK P&P (2-EC, 3-RoW).

      NEW STUFF
      Never happy to rest on our laurels, we're launching a wadge of new stuff
      -

      UBERWALD TEMPERANCE MOVEMENT
      We met them first in 'The Fifth Elephant' and they're back in 'The
      Truth'. A
      lapel pin in the shape of a black, charity 'ribbon', modeled in gilt
      metal
      with black and red enamel and bearing the motto: 'Living Not In Vein'.
      3.85
      plus 75p P&P (1.25 EC, 2.50 R0W)

      ANKH-MORPORK TIMES KEY-RING
      Ankh-Morpork's first newspaper is the setting for 'The Truth' and we've
      been
      lucky enough to secure some of Mr. Dibbler's promotional key-rings. An
      authentic bit of Dibbler merchandise - except that these are good
      quality,
      sturdy and serviceable. A brushed stainless steel fob with the legend 'I
      Buy
      the Ankh-Morpork Times - - The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret' embossed and
      in-filled in black enamel. 3.00, plus 75p P&P (1.25 EC, 2.50 RoW)

      HARGA'S APRON
      A quality, 'natural' colour, 100% cotton apron, bearing the legend,
      printed
      in green - 'I Gobbled All I Could for a Dollar at HARGA'S HOUS OF RIBS'.
      Should sell for around 7.00, plus 1.20 P&P (2 EC, 3, RoW). **NOT
      AVAILABLE
      UNTIL MID-2000**.

      MENDED DRUM Tea-Towel
      'Natural' coloured 100% cotton tea towel, printed in blue with a view of
      Ankh-Morpork's best-known ale house, drawn by Stephen Briggs and based
      on
      Bernard Pearson's model. Should sell for around 3.50 (plus 75p P&P (1.25
      EC,
      2.50 RoW). **NOT AVAILABLE UNTIL MID-2000**.

      THE LAST HERO MISSION PATCH
      The book's not out until 2001 but we already have plans for a snazzy
      embroidered NASA-style mission patch (you'll know why when you've read
      the
      book). This is likely to be a limited edition and will be based on
      artwork
      specially commissioned from Paul Kidby. THIS WON'T BE AVAILABLE UNTIL
      2001,
      we'll tell you more as soon as we have details!

      HOW TO ORDER -
      Just send your order to me with a sterling cheque payable to 'S P
      Briggs'
      for the full amount, *including post & packing*. Please post orders to
      Stephen Briggs, PO Box 147, Oxford, OX2 8YT.

      PLEASE NOTE - THESE ARE IMPORTANT
      Cheques just payable to 'S P Briggs'. Not 'CMOT Briggs'; not 'CMOT
      Dibbler' - you wouldn't believe how little sense of humour my bank has
      about
      humorously inscribed cheques.

      Please write your cheque guarantee number on the back of the cheque -
      those
      rubber cheques can be a real nuisance!

      Payments only in sterling. Sterling Eurocheque, Bank Draft or cash.
      Sorry,
      but I'm just too small for Visa/Mastercard, etc. Please note - just
      crossing
      out your own currency on a personal cheque and replacing it with a ''
      sign
      is not acceptable to UK banks (sorry to go on about it, but it does
      happen).
      Please don't send orders by any mail system which requires a signature
      from
      the addressee - I'm never in when the postman calls and
      registered/recorded
      letters can actually take up to an extra ten days or more to get to me.
      Please be patient! This is a one-man band. And a pretty disorganised one
      at
      that. If you think your order's been lost and your cheque hasn't been
      cashed, DON'T PANIC. It's probably just me being inefficient. Apart from
      exceptional circumstances, I won't bank your cheque until I've sent the
      stuff.

      CHRISTMAS -
      This is all run by one person (me) from a small flat. What passes for my
      normal service closes down between 25 November and 6 January each year.
      I'll
      do my level best to make sure Christmas orders are sent out in time to
      be in
      Santa's sack, but I can only guarantee to beat the 'Last Posting Dates'
      if I
      receive the order by 25 November. Sorry.

      STEPHEN (C.M.O.T.) BRIGGS (England)


      12) [ADVERTISMENT] PHANTASIA BOOKSHOP
      With the Australian dollar low in the financial waters (for US and UK
      peoples) or before the GST (Generally Sh*ty Tax) comes into effect in
      Australia there is no better time to visit www.phantasia.com.au.

      That's right everybody Australia's premiere Science Fiction, Fantasy &
      Mystery Bookshop as got its on-line shop up and ready for you to visit.
      Lovers of Science Fiction, Fantasy and Mystery can now purchase books
      from
      us via their secure online shopping facility - or make use of it to
      organise
      a regular phone or fax mail order purchase. Just click the "Let's go
      shopping" button on the site to be transferred to the inventory and
      purchasing facility. While they have made available a
      significant portion of their inventory, more backlist titles will be
      added
      every week until we have complete online access to our regular in-store
      stock. They'll also be adding videos and merchandise in the future. In
      the
      meantime, if there is a title you are after that isn't currently listed
      at
      the online shop, just contact them and they can advise price and
      availability.
      That URL again is: http://www.phantasia.com.au Phone, fax and address
      details are available on the site.


      13) KLATCHIAN FOREIGN LEGION RESOURCES

      Each month (well, usually), as well as WOSSNAME going out by e-mail,
      the plain text of the newsletter is embellished with fantastic
      graphics and put up on the Society Web site,

      http://welcome.to/wossname

      As well as the full text of WOSSNAME going out by e-mail, there is
      also sent out a much shorter e-mail announcing that the new version
      of WOSSNAME is available on the Web. So, if you'd prefer to receive
      this shorter notification, rather than the whole text of WOSSNAME,
      just let us know!

      The announcement list will also be used by other groups in the
      Klatchian Foreign Legion, such as by the Bugarup University Students'
      Guild for announcing BUNS (see above), so you may want to join that
      list anyway, even if you still want to receive the whole text of
      WOSSNAME by e-mail. To subscribe to the announcement list, just go
      to

      http://www.egroups.com/subscribe/kfl-announce

      or send an empty e-mail to

      kfl-announce-subscribe@egroups.com

      Also on the subject of the Legion, the Klatchian Foreign Legion
      Webring has recently started. A Webring, in case you don't know, is
      a group of Web sites that share a common interest or theme, and have
      links to one another such that by following the link, you travel all
      the way "around the ring", visiting each site in turn. In the case
      of the Legion's Webring, the sites are those of groups like the North
      American Discworld Society, the Guild of Fans and Disciples and the
      Bugarup University Students' Guild, as well as any other Web site
      with an emphasis on regional Pratchett fandom, at anything from the
      local level up to the continental level. To visit the Webring, or to
      add your site to it, just visit

      http://travel.to/klatch

      *********************************************************************
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