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WOSSNAME -- MARCH 2004 -- PART 3 OF 3 (continued)

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  • JSCHAUM111@aol.com
    WOSSNAME -- MARCH 2004 -- PART 3 OF 3 (continued) ... ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 9) THIS MONTH S PUZZLE: THIEF OF TIME
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 24, 2004
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      WOSSNAME -- MARCH 2004 -- PART 3 OF 3 (continued)
      -------------------------------------------------------
      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
      9) THIS MONTH'S PUZZLE: THIEF OF TIME
      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      Answer the questions and put the letter indicated into
      the spot shown. Read the letters backwards and
      discover what day the world is coming to an end.
      (Note: all spellings are from the 2001 Doubleday edition.)
      ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      Example: Pratchett's first name -- 1st letter:
      ANSWER: Terry = T
      -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

      1. Foundling adopted by Guild of Clockmakers (first name, 6th letter)
      2. The Fifth Horseman (first name, 4th letter)
      3. Foundling adopted by Thieves' Guild (last name, 3rd letter)
      4. Discoverer of the talent of the foundling in #3 (last name,1st letter)
      5. The auditor who became Unity (last name, 2nd letter)
      6. Chief acolyte to the abbot (3rd letter of name)
      7. Apprentice to the Eternally Surprised (4th letter of name)
      8. The Sweeper (5th letter of name)
      9. The Eternally Surprised (1st letter of name)

      __/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/ = Day the world will end
      1*/ 2*/ 3*/4*/ 5*/6*/7*/8*/9*/

      Puzzle solution will appear next month.

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
      SOLUTION TO LAST MONTH'S PUZZLE: THE TRUTH
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      1. Vampire iconographer (last name, 5th letter)
      OTTO CHRIEK = E
      2. Editor of the Ankh-Morpork Times (last name, 4th letter)
      WILLIAM DE WORDE = D
      3. King of the Golden River (first name, 3rd letter)
      HARRY KING = R
      4. First female reporter on the Ankh-Morpork Times (last name, 7th letter)
      SACHARISSA CRIPSLOCK = O
      5. Lord Vetinari's dog (first name, 1st letter)
      WUFFLES = W
      6. President of the Guild of Shoemakers and Leatherworkers
      (last name, 6th letter)
      TUTTLE SCROPE = E
      7. The UU Bursar (last name, 1st letter)
      A. A. DINWIDDIE = D
      8. Dwarf who was second in command in printshop (last name, 3rd letter)
      BODDONY = D
      9. A double of Vetinari (first name, 4th letter)
      CHARLIE = R
      10. Cofounder of the Ankh-Morpork Times (last name, 2nd letter)
      GUNILLA GOODMOUNTAIN = O
      11. Partner of Mr. Pin (last name 3rd letter)
      TULIP = L

      E /D /R /O /W /E /D /D /R / O/ L = The man behind the overthrow of Vetinari.
      1*/ 2*/ 3*/4*/ 5*/6*/7*/8*/9*/10/11 = LORD DE WORDE

      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
      10) AT LAST! THE NEW DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE
      by Miss Anaemia Asterisk
      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      We are sorry to report that Lady Aranluc, our beautiful DW
      astrologer, was passing through A-M recently and reportedly
      took a wrong turn and found herself on Dagon Street. Like the
      unfortunate Mr. Hong, she had a significant encounter with
      some of the former occupants of that street, and has disappeared
      from mortal ken, leaving behind only a few bodily parts
      which are normally found loose only in operating rooms.

      Following the sad departure of Lady Aranluc, Miss Anaemia
      Asterisk has kindly agreed to take over the duties of casting
      our monthly horoscope. Miss Asterisk, a local hedge witch
      of some renown, is three-times winner of the Slice and
      District allcomers' horoscope casting competition, and claims
      to be able to cast a horoscope further than anyone else in her
      weight category. A kindly old lady, she wears a lot of black
      and is a known friend of the Meseroles of Genua and that nice
      Lord Downey of Ankh-Morpork. Please make her welcome.

      Miss Asterisk has corrected the DW zodiac tables
      for A'Tuin's latest movements and has added the
      latest constellations now affecting Discworld. Her work,
      which follows, is vital to us all and should be consulted
      when making your plans for April.

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      The Adamant Hedgehog 21 Mar - 20 Apr

      If your life's been uncertain of late, be of good cheer:
      there are sunny times ahead. In fact, this is a good time
      to get your shades out. And an even better time to get out
      of the Shades. Let's be honest, you didn't really want
      to make your fortune by moving consignments of designer
      knock-off troll sunglasses, did you? Chrysoprase would be
      most upset.

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      Gahoolie, the Vase of Tulips 21 Apr - 21 May

      Stressed out? This could be a rough month, so why not sign up for
      a round of Wizards' Paintball? The keen young chaps at the UU
      Department of High Energy Magic are always on the lookout for
      civilian victims, er volunteers to experiment, er practice with.
      Look at it this way, it could provide you with hours of fun-filled
      entertainment and healthy outdoor exercise. It could even change
      your life! Into that of a distressed newt, sure, but you'd never
      have to pay the mortgage again, and one of the students will
      probably provide you with a comfortably furnished jar. Beware of
      cold leftover pizza and lizard presses.

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      The Two Fat Cousins 22 May - 21 Jun

      A man in black clothing, with a bracelet inscribed "Complymentes
      of Lorde Downey", may seriously complicate your life this
      month. Or is that compromise? Whatever. Be sure your will is
      up to date, and don't order any extra milk from that nice
      Mr Soak. A casual friend will give you the name of a good
      florist. Avoid Dibblers selling pension plans but don't forget
      to floss.

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      The Wizard's Staff and Knob 22 Jun - 22 Jul

      An excellent time to look up old friends, and the older the better.
      A lady from the Fresh Start Club will give you a helpful clue.
      The Friends of Uberwald recycling shop near the Misbegot Bridge
      offers a fine selection of fish livers and roots, and there's a
      discount at the moment on clacks messages to Mrs Gogol in Genua.
      Wouldn't it be lovely to catch up on old times with those gone-
      but-not-forgotten childhood mates who went on that ill-fated field
      trip the day you were kept home with the Borogravian flu? Don't
      forget the oil of scallatine.

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      Bilious, God of Hangovers 23 Jul - 23 Aug

      Auspicious tidings for your future: an obscure relative
      will die and leave you the deeds to his thriving cabbage
      and broccoli farm (this horoscope does not apply to
      inhabitants of the Sto Plains). Current celestial alignment
      means that Bilious is in the House of Anodyne, and what
      better time to break out that vintage bottle of Bearhugger's
      Finest Old Wednesday Port for testing? A good month for
      having warts removed (this horoscope does not apply to
      witches).

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      Mubbo the Hyena 24 Aug - 23 Sept

      "What the eye sees not, the heart grieves not." Or as Mrs
      Cosmopilite would say, "Always carry a square of fluffy blanket
      with you, blue for choice. Them bogeymen are buggers to deal with
      if they can see you." This is a good month to reduce a bogey to a
      state of quantum uncertainty. Carrying a poker is also recommended,
      but a knife is not, unless you're one of those gentlemen in black
      clothing with a bracelet from that nice Lord Downey.

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      The Small Boring Group of Faint Stars 24 Sept - 23 Oct

      You love to travel, and there's no better time than this month to
      see the world. Actually, tonight would be a good time to get
      started. Actually, right now would be even better, since there's
      a large Watchman proceeding up your street checking the house
      numbers. Oh well, they say that confession is good for the soul.
      Then again, a spot of healthy outdoor exercise is even better. How
      fast can you run the 100 yard sprint on cobblestones? The alignment
      of your stars suggests river travel this month. Consider investing
      in precious stones and other easily carried valuables.

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      Okjok, the Salesman 24 Oct - 22 Nov

      Keeping up appearances is very important, especially at this time
      of year. Just look at the state of those old clothes! If you're
      not careful, people will start asking you for love potions and
      Granny Weatherwax will be down on you like a ton of oblong eldritch
      things for impersonating a witch. Next week is a good time to trot
      along to the Seamstresses' Guild and ask for a makeover. How much of
      a makeover is up to you really, isn't it dearie?

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      Great T'Phon's Foot 23 Nov - 21 Dec

      A short, dark, romantic stranger is about to enter your life.
      Try not to trip over his stepladder. People may say you are
      like chalk and cheese as a couple, but there's nowt wrong with
      a nice bit of Chalk cheese, eh? For those born under the Foot,
      special care is needed in matters of the shoulders and what we
      may politely call the seating region, so get your daughters-in-law
      or young female relatives to do all the heavy housework. And no
      sweeping the dust under the carpets like that dreadful woman
      at No.37, you can't be having with that sort of thing.

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      Hoki the Jokester 22 Dec - 20 Jan

      Hoki the Jokester is traditionally a lucky sign, but you don't want
      to accept any magical dice from a mysterious Lady with bright green
      eyes. Avoid oysters, falling ladders and Thursdays. For witches,
      this is a good month to book that cranky old broom in for a service.
      Beware dwarfs bearing gifts of bread, as these are dangerous to
      dental health. A good month to sacrifice to Blind Io and Fate:
      vestigial virgins are always a favourite.

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      The Rather Large Gazunda 21 Jan - 18 Feb

      A picture is worth a thousand words, so why not start that
      family iconograph album you always meant to make? What do you mean,
      you haven't fed the imp since last Grune? For shame! Oh well, never
      mind. For those of you born on the cusp of Philadephus, this month
      will see a promising upswing in your social life. Eat only
      untoasted figgins, and beware of small angry zombies waving
      paintbrushes.

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      The Flying Moose 19 Feb - 20 Mar

      "Once bitten, twice shy." A good month to avoid werewolves, vampires
      and Big Fido. Charity begins at home, so be sure to give generously
      to any door-knockers collecting for the Silicon Anti-Defamation Fund.
      A stitch in time saves nine; when's the last time you saw Igor for
      a check-up? Let a smile be your umbrella, but if you will insist on
      walking past the back door of the Mended Drum at chucking-out time
      you'll need something more substantial, depending on what's being
      chucked out. Avoid the colour puce, and stay away from dark alleys
      between teatime and 8 pm, because that's when Thieves' Guild
      training sessions are scheduled this month. Trust me on this, I'm
      an astrologer.

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      ... and there you have it. Please write directly to WOSSNAME
      at jschaum111@... if you have any questions and we will
      forward them directly to Miss Asterisk.

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
      -----------------------------------------------------------------------
      If you did not get all 3 parts, write: jschaum111@...
      -------------------------------------------------------------------------
      Copyright (c) 2004 by Klatchian Foreign Legion


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