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WOSSNAME -- JUNE 2003 -- PART 3 OF 3 (continued)

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  • JSCHAUM111@aol.com
    WOSSNAME -- JUNE 2003 -- PART 3 OF 3 (continued) ... oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 10) YOUR DISC HOROSCOPE -- EXAM TIME With all those exams at
    Message 1 of 1 , Jun 29, 2003
      WOSSNAME -- JUNE 2003 -- PART 3 OF 3 (continued)


      With all those exams at hand, I think that if you ever needed some
      advice, the time is now. That's me being nice. If you don't get
      to read this until after you've taken your exams, don't worry.
      You've probably flunked them and will need to take a makeup.

      21 March - 20 April
      The Perhaps Gate

      Don't hurry, that's the point. Hurrying wouldn't make any sense and
      you know that. Have you ever began studying with enough time to be
      prepared for the exams? You haven't, have you? Then, how do you know
      you'll get better marks by doing so? And anyway it's too late now...

      21 April - 21 May
      Gahoolie, the Vase of Tulips

      You need some calm moments in the examination chaos that your life
      is turning into. Take your time, adopt the lotus stance and just
      levitate for a while over the incense smoke. I don't know if this
      will be useful to help you pass, but it *will* be useful to survive.

      22 May - 21 June
      The Two Fat Cousins

      Waves and waves of exams are coming over you, but instead of being
      afraid of them, you take your metaphorical surfing board and let
      yourself go with them, over them, beyond the shores of knowledge.
      Look, I know that your friends have given you some useful advice
      about having some of 'that' to improve your studying, but I don't
      know if it's really a good idea. Just don't fall off the surfboard.

      22 June - 22 July
      Wezen, the Two-Headed Kangaroo

      This is a very delicate moment for you. You get obsessed about
      details, you see your huge piles of books full of blank spaces,
      and doubts are corroding you, but that's nothing compared to the
      feelings your teachers have every time they see you turning the
      corner, heading for their office. You won't pass your exams earlier
      by means of asking questions all the time, and maybe they're plotting
      to do some voodoo to get rid of you. Keep a close eye on your
      fingernail clippings and loose hairs.

      23 July - 23 August
      The Cow of Heaven

      You've decided that the best way to study is to do it in group,
      so you're trying to bring your whole classroom into the library,
      to organize them in little cells whose members will be chosen
      by their special abilities, to study exhaustively a part of the
      subject and then share that knowledge with the rest. Just stop.
      Your classmates are beginning to get fed up with you. Just
      admit that you only want a lot of people to whisper the answers
      of the exams to you so that you don't have to study at all...

      24 August - 23 September
      Mubbo, the Hyena

      Something new and wonderful will come into your life, a ray of
      light which will break through the clouds of confusion that were
      surrounding you. An epiphany, a revelation, the solution to
      all your problems now and always: you'll soon discover that
      copying is not as bad (or hard, now you come to think of it)
      as it seems. Hallelujah, brother.

      24 September - 23 October
      The Small Boring Group of Faint Stars

      Exams always come in the worst moment, when life gets too
      interesting to lose your time at home in front of a book.
      I know that the notes you took in class have cobwebs
      in them, that trying to decipher them at this time would
      require a Rosetta Stone, but you'll have to pass some exams
      from time to time, admit it. Borrowing someone else's notes
      may be the solution you need.

      24 October - 22 November
      Okjok, the Salesman

      I know you have a certain tendency to trip two (hundred) times
      over the same stone, but it's about time for you to learn the
      lesson. It doesn't matter how many bumps you get in your head,
      it's now or never. Stone no. 1: Don't go to parties the night
      before an examination. Stone no. 2: Begin studying two days
      before does not necessarily imply that you'll pass. Stone no.
      3: Throwing dice to decide which parts of the subject you'll
      study is not a good idea. I'm sure you can keep on enumerating
      stones by yourself... Unlike athletes, sex will not weaken
      your mental powers, so go for it.

      23 November - 21 December
      The Overworked Orang-Utang

      It's time to get into the cocoon of study and keep being
      there accumulating knowledge, coming out a month later,
      as a passed butterfly. Or something like that. What I
      mean is that you should stop going out with your friends and
      start studying, not that you should become a drag queen ... unless that's
      what you want to do with your life, in which case,
      good luck, honey!

      22 December - 20 January
      The Celestial Parsnip

      You can't live apart from the rest of the world, caring only
      about your needs. There is a lot of people out there with their
      dreams, needing your help to work themselves into real people.
      Be helpful, be kind, don't cover your examination papers with
      your arms. That guy on your right needs you... Help him fail, too.

      21 January - 18 February
      The Knotted String

      Your doubts are awful. You don't know if you must keep fighting
      or if the time has come to surrender, and that's destroying you.
      Which subjects you should leave, and which ones you should study?
      Great dilemma. You can't cover everything, but you don't know
      what to choose. In my opinion, and if you're so stressed out, just
      go to every single examination you have. You can't fail them all.
      Prayer is good.

      19 February - 20 March
      The Flying Moose

      It's in times like these when your real talent comes up, when
      everyone admits they need you and you can enjoy helping everybody
      to improve their life quality. Everybody knows that your crib sheets
      are the best in the word, the most exact and summarized, the most
      undetectable. Enjoy, this is your moment. Afterwards, sell them
      to those who flunked.

      -- Lady Aranluc


      Answer the questions and put the letter indicated into
      the spot shown.    Read the letters backwards and
      discover who conquered the Agatean Empire.
      (Note: all spellings are from the 1997 HarperPrism edition.)

      Example: Pratchett's first name -- 1st letter:
      ANSWER: Terry  LETTER = T

      1. The new emperor (last name, 4th letter)
      2. Purveyor of Hundred-Year-Old-Eggs in Hunghung (1st letter)
      3. One of Twoflower's daughters, the realist (6th letter)
      4. A noble who wants to be emperor (2nd letter)
      5. Elderly barbarian who fights in his wheelchair (last name, 1st letter)
      6. An Agatean cannon (1st name, 3rd letter)
      7. A spy and agent provocateur for #4 above (last name, 2nd letter)
      8. Teach (last name, 3rd letter)
      9. Master of Protocol ( 2nd name, 1st letter)
      10. Langtang Collector of Revenues (1st name, 2nd letter)
      11. Twoflower's other daughter, the optimist (1st name, 5th letter)

      __/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/ = Conquerors of the Agatean Empire
      1*/ 2*/ 3*/4*/ 5*/6*/7*/8*/9*/10/11/ 

      Puzzle solution will appear next month.


      1. Aristocratic Assassin in very reduced circumstances. (1st name, 1st lett
      2. Commander of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch. (last name, last letter)
      3. Werewolf Watchperson (4th letter)
      ANGUA = U
      4. The Retrophrenologist (2nd letter)
      ZORGO = O
      5. The Patrician. (1st name, 1st letter)
      6. The dwarf who made the Gonne. (2nd name, 1st letter)
      7. An exploded dragon. (1st letter)
      CHUBBY = C
      8. Lady's maid to Queen Molly. (1st name, 3rd letter)
      9. Troll who formerly cleaned privies. (3rd letter)
      COALFACE = A
      10. Head of the Clown's Guild.   (1st letter)

      E_/S_/U_/O_/H_/H_/C_/T_/A_/W_/ = Where the men at arms are
      1*/ 2*/ 3*/4*/ 5*/6*/7*/8*/9*/10/........= WATCH HOUSE    
      If you did not get all 3 parts, write: jschaum111@...
      Copyright (c) 2003 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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