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WOSSNAME -- MAY 2003 -- PART 1 OF 3

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  • JSCHAUM111@aol.com
    WOSSNAME Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion May 2003 (Volume 6, Issue 5) ********************************************************************* WOSSNAME
    Message 1 of 1 , May 31 12:20 PM
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      WOSSNAME
      Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
      May 2003 (Volume 6, Issue 5)
      *********************************************************************
      WOSSNAME is a FREE publication for members of the
      worldwide Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates,
      including the North American Discworld Society and other
      continental groups. Are you a member? Yes, if you sent
      in your name and e-mail address. Are there any dues? No.
      *********************************************************************
      Editor in Chief: Joseph Schaumburger
      News Editor: Bethany Ayers
      Staff Writers: Lady Aranluc
      Puzzle Editor: CatTigerLi
      Limericks Mistress: Drusilla D'Afanguin
      Haiku Handmaiden: Kate Oneamus
      Emergency Staff: Jason Parlevliet,
      Nathan Clissold, Dylan Williams
      Art Director: Rhett Pennell
      World Membership Director: Becky Swaney
      Convention News Editor: Susan Fox-Davis
      Webmaster: Paul Wilkins, disk@...
      Copyright 2003 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
      ------------------------------------------------------------------------
      INDEX:

      ====Part 1

      1) FREE AUTOGRAPHED TERRY BOOK
      2) HOW TO DO AN ANAGRAM
      3) LANCRE WINE
      4) SCRABBLEMEET REPORT

      ====Part 2

      LETTERS FROM OUR READERS
      5) DISCWORLD BEER IS HERE!
      6) PONDER VS. POTTER DEBUNKED
      7) WFM: ANOTHER POINT OF VIEW
      8) STO LAT OR NOT STO LAT?
      9) THE AMAZING ASTI AND HER EDUCATED AUTHORS

      ====Part 3

      10) CLARECRAFT OFFERS TWO NEW DW MINIATURES
      11) PUZZLE: MEN AT ARMS
      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      1) FREE AUTOGRAPHED TERRY BOOK

      If you've ever wanted to add an autographed Terry book
      to your collection, your day has come.

      We have on hand, thanks to Terry, and some fast
      footwork by my granddaughter Asti in London, a
      special signed copy of a DW book which will go to
      the winner of our Anagram Contest.

      Here's how the contest will work: Pick any five of the
      names below and work out a flock of anagrams for them.
      Then pick the two best ones (in your opinion) and
      submit them to me at jschaum111@...:

      CARROT IRONFOUNDERSSON
      SERGEANT COLON
      DETRITUS AND RUBY
      COUNT GIAMO CASANUNDA
      ARCHCHANCELLOR MUSTRUM RIDCULLY
      GRANNY WEATHERWAX
      MAGRAT GARLICK, WITCH-QUEEN OF LANCRE
      CHEERY LITTLEBOTTOM
      SUSAN STO HELIT
      PONDER STIBBONS
      KING VERENCE OF LANCRE
      DELPHINE ANGUA VON UBERWALD
      COMMANDER SAMUEL VIMES
      LADY SYBIL RAMKIN
      LEONARD OF QUIRM
      ALBERTO MALICH
      AGNES "PERDITA" NITT

      I will pass them on to our panel of judges
      who will select the best ones. Each selected
      one will count for ten points. Thus your
      score can be as high as 100 points.

      The person with the highest score will be
      acclaimed as the winner and will receive the
      prize. If there are ties, we will have
      runoff contests.

      2) HOW TO DO AN ANAGRAM
      Some tips from Drusilla D'Afanguin, Anagrams Mistress

      For anyone who isn't familiar with the joys of anagramming, the
      idea of anagram-making is to take the letters of a name or phrase
      and make a new phrase that, in the best possible circumstance, is
      either descriptive of the person whose name provided the letters,
      or -- one hopes! -- humorous. Or even, erm, vaguely clever :-)

      The only 'rule' of anagramming is that all the letters in the name
      or phrase must be used, and only used once. It's a bit like Scrabble,
      really!

      Some useful tips for Discworld anagrams: look at the chosen
      character's name and see if you can make any Discly names
      from some of the letters -- e.g., Lancre or Klatch or Dibbler or
      Gaspode; then see if it's possible to make words from what's left.
      Don't forget to consider relevant initials, common abbreviations,
      titles and contractions -- e.g., Mr or Mrs or Mss, pash or skivvy,
      U.U. or DTm, Lord or Sir, can't or ain't -- which can help to
      use up those pesky extra consonants. And where necessary, be
      sure you have a handy explanation for some of the...odder
      anagrams.

      And now, a demonstration. *Do* try this at home!

      Havelock Vetinari = VIE OVER KLATCHIAN

      Not only does this contain 'Klatchian', but it gives a nod
      to Lord Vetinari's vital role in 'Jingo'.

      Then there's the matter of his careful stewardship of A-M:

      AIN'T HE A ROCK V. EVIL?!
      'E VIOLENCE RIVAL AT ANKH
      O, I'VE ANKH VERTICAL (an economic statement?)

      A possible headline in the A-M Times about the rumours that
      the Odium click-pit will reopen:

      ANKH TO ICE REVIVAL!

      A description of Sybil's rendition of Bloodaxe and Ironhammer:

      VALIANT VOICE-HIKER

      ...or a necessity in the U.U. job description:

      HAVE V. OCTARINE ILK

      Need more help? Just write to Drusilla at
      noisycow@...

      Have fun!
      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      3) LANCRE WINE

      Walking through my local wine shop I
      picked up a bottle of "Chateau de Lancyre" --
      Bordeaux wine and quite tasty.

      Of course they got the spelling wrong and the
      picture on the label doesn't look like it's anywhere
      near the Ramtops but it may be interesting to
      see if there are other products around with
      familiar names

      -- George Duffield
      somewhere near Lancre.
      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      4) SCRABBLEMEET REPORT

      Venue: Eeevil SteVen's Fortress, Melbourne, Continent of Fourecks
      Date: 10th May 2003
      Attending: Steven, Dru, Bek, Matt, Paul, Hania

      This was a meet a long time in the making - specifically, since
      the long-ago last DanMeet extravaganza, when several
      BUers gifted Your Humble Chronicler with a Scrabble set as
      a belated Hogswatch present. As it was a luncheon Meet,
      there was much discussion over the preceding week about
      what to eat for lunch that day. In the end, we decided to
      eat food, since it was the most popular choice.

      Bek, Matt and Paul arrived together, half an hour early to
      make up for the fact that Steven is always at least half an hour
      late. Paul had come armed with some fine dwarf Battle bread
      from the early Century of the Fruitbat. Admirable as this
      was, it hardly compared with Steven's prize exhibit, a
      Throwing Muffin that is now celebrating its first birthday.

      After lunch, which featured oven-BBQ'ed chicken, Sto Lat
      Salad[1], and the legendary Ecksian "sawdust snags" (these
      are sausages which are guaranteed to have been in the same
      district as genuine pig products for at least a millisecond),
      we drew the curtains and watched several episodes of Buffy
      - ones that won't be seen by the public here for weeks - and
      then discussed the Ecksian and Merkin covers of Wee Free
      Men while Paul, as usual, ransacked Steven's library. Then
      Hania arrived fresh from posing as a nude model at one
      of the local universities; no surprise there, since Hania is
      as much a Roundworld version of the youthful Gytha Ogg
      as one is ever likely to find.

      The next, and most memorable, highlight of the afternoon
      came when Steven played us a video of Pterry signing
      Hania's bosom[2] at one of his Melbourne book signings
      last No and a taped interview the Master had
      exhibdone that day in less...distracting circumstances.

      This was followed by the obligatory jelly, custard and trifle,
      and then the Scrabble board came out. Well, actually, Paul
      was so overcome by the video clip that he made a hasty
      departure (with odd booklike bulges under his jacket), and
      *then* the Scrabble board came out. Our first-ever BU
      Scrabble game was cheerfully incompetent, one of the lowest
      scoring games of all time and space. Your Humble
      Chronicler did her very best to lose, but failed to do so.
      Hania kept us amused with saucy tales and constant
      illegal pre-move dictionary consultations, while Steven
      also did *his* best to slip in computer brand names and
      geek/nerd game words and Matt pulled the looking-
      miserable-and-lost trick so we *did* allow him to use
      geek/nerd terms and Bek kept score and guarded the
      letter-bag. Needless to say, the game got sillier and sillier
      as it progressed, or degenerated, but that made it
      fun for all. At last, some eight hours after it
      started, ScrabbleMeet came to an end and Steven got
      seriously stuck into the leftover custard. All in all a very
      good day!

      [1] featuring lots of brassicas, naturally

      [2] this is the absolute truth. Really. Oh, all right,
      it was a latex mock bosom, but the look on Pterry's
      face when he saw those disembodied bare breasts
      looming over him was priceless. Hmm, I wonder if
      he'll ever come to Melbourne again...

      -- Dru.
      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
      ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
      If you did not get all 3 parts, write: jschaum111@...
      ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
      End of Part 1, says my computer -- continued on Part 2 of 3



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