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WOSSNAME -- FEBRUARY 2003 -- PART 2 OF 3 (continued)

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  • JSCHAUM111@aol.com
    WOSSNAME -- FEBRUARY 2003 -- PART 2 OF 3 (continued) ... ooooooooooooWoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo THE DISCWORLD NOVEL HAIKU CHALLENGE
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 28, 2003
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      WOSSNAME -- FEBRUARY 2003 -- PART 2 OF 3 (continued)
      -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
      ooooooooooooWoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
      THE DISCWORLD NOVEL HAIKU CHALLENGE
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      Drusilla, our in-house Part-Time Goddess of Bad Pottery and
      recently-appointed Limerick Mistress has expanded her poetic
      activities into the haiku realm. She has challenged our
      readers to sum up the plot or essence of Discworld novels
      into a set of 12 haikus. Here are the top entries so far:

      5) MASKERADE

      Miss 'Perdita' Nitt
      Fine figure of *two* women
      Sings self-harmony

      Granny and Nanny
      In need of a junior witch
      Head for Ankh-Morpork

      The Opera Ghost
      Perpetrator of murders
      Is he man or spook?

      Slack-jawed Walter Plinge
      A man of multiple masks
      Sweeps away secrets

      Christine's empty head
      Fills up with dreams of stardom...
      Well, she *looks* the part!

      Opera giant
      Enrico Basilica
      A Shades boy at heart

      Nanny's recipes
      Add some euphemistic heat
      To the proceedings

      "Opera is art
      "It's not about the money"
      Bucket's in despair

      Is *he* man or cat?
      What an exciting chase scene!
      Greebo steals the show

      Exit Perdita
      Ghost caught, case solved, justice done
      Agnes Nitt goes home

      --Drusilla D'Afanguin
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      6) CARPE JUGULUM

      Always three there are,
      Maiden, Mother and ... other.
      But now there are four.

      Vampires with a 'y',
      Invited into Lancre,
      Immune to garlic.

      Garlick, Magrat (Queen)
      Protective of her baby,
      Becomes the mother.

      Agnes, of two minds,
      Breaks through vampiric glamour,
      Remains a maiden.

      Granny in hiding
      Makes Nanny the 'other one' -
      The new coven forms.

      In the Gnarly Ground,
      Granny is lost in her thoughts,
      Acts as though beaten.

      Along with a priest -
      Reverend Mightily Oats,
      The coven sets out.

      Into Uberwald,
      To Don'tgonearthe Castle,
      The Magpyr clan's home.

      They meet an Igor,
      Granny shows more hidden strengths,
      The Old Count returns.

      The vampyrs withdraw,
      Townspeople start to fight back,
      All is right again.

      --ConMan
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      7) LORDS AND LADIES

      Circles in the crops
      Lords and ladies gathering
      Snow in the circle

      New age girls dancing
      Make witchcraft fashionable
      Power is conferred

      A duel at high noon
      Granny stops to help a child
      Diamanda fails

      A marriage is planned
      Verence and Magrat to rule
      Tapestries boring

      An Entertainment
      A play is being performed
      The Dancers open

      Casanunda courts
      Nanny is fascinating
      A feast is consumed

      Ridcully transports
      Granny remembers her past
      Unicorn attacks

      Magrat is imbued
      Queen Ynci's spirit peers out
      Iron in the head

      Nanny goes walking
      The Long Man has big tonker
      Elf King is amused

      Granny is captured
      Elf Queen gloats, plotting evil
      The bees are swarming

      Granny and Magrat
      Fight the Elf Queen to standstill
      A swarm is Borrowed

      King takes Queen away
      In the silence of the elves
      All ends happily

      --Kathy
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      8) SOURCERY

      Wizard squared -
      A source of magic pow'rful
      Sourcerer is born.

      Ipslore will not die
      Inside staff he hides and guides
      Destiny awaits.

      Coin goes to Morpork
      By wizards he is mockéd-
      The cockroaches flee.

      Hat of wizardry
      Needs to get away quite fast
      Rincewind's pulled along.

      Conina protects
      The Archancellor's great hat
      Will the world survive?

      Slavers take the hat
      Conina follows closely
      Rincewind tags along.

      Hat bought by rich man
      Nijel tries to be hero
      Sourcery strengthens

      Towers everywhere
      Wizards want to rule the world
      Not while Rincewind lives!

      Abrim tries on hat
      It has found a worthy mind
      Sourcery beware!

      Root of all problems
      Back in Ankh, libraries burn.
      Rincewind goes to home.

      Rincewind saves the world.
      Hero fights with sand in sock
      Dungeons of time call.

      --Cat
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      9) WYRD SISTERS

      Ghostly king Verence
      Fallen down the once clean stairs
      Dagger in his back.

      Insane Duke on throne
      He wants to burn down forests
      Land awakes once more.

      True king thespian
      Granny weaves her magic spell
      Tomjon comes back home.

      Past is but mem'ry
      Witches fight back forcefully
      Actors forget words.

      Granny shows true self
      Duchess is unaffected
      But now she's in chains.

      Tomjon will not rule
      I'faith fool cannot be king
      It does not matter.

      True king regains throne
      Duchess gets away with speed
      The land gives a sigh

      --Cat
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      I suggest we let these entries sit for a while and
      see what else comes in. We'll judge them around
      June, and hand out some sort of prizes. Anyone
      have suggestions for the prizes or would like to be
      a judge? Write me at jschaum111@...

      -- Joe

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
      10) LETTERS FROM OUR READERS
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      To the Editor:

      k p wrote:
      > Hey - can anyone tell me how long the list has been going for?
      >When it all began?

      That's some information that is sadly lacking from the University
      website (which you can find here, at http://ozdw.homes.com.au)  If any
      of the remaining original members are still here (I think that's only
      the Libwolf) would like to write a short history of BU, I'll put it up
      there.

      > I have been trying to remember how long I'd been lurking for before I
      > finally posted an email. I remember listbot and I'm sure I was still at uni
      > when I first joined but that would put it somewhere between 5 - 9 years
      > ago.....

      Listbot, yeah, that would make it fairly early then.   Yahoo! claims! we!
      joined! on! Jun 9, 2000!  I think I joined in 98, and that was within a
      year of the list starting IIRC.

      > anyone? Jase - you should know...

      They say if you remember the beginning, you weren't there.

      --Jase - Director of Acronyms and Soapbox Monitor
      http://www.geekzone.com.au/~jase

      PS: Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw
      through the leather straps
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      Jase and all,

      To answer your question on how it all began:

      It all started in April 1998 when I published Vol. 1 No. 1 of
      WOSSNAME. At that time, we had 130 members, less than
      1/10 of what we have now.

      The newsletter coaxed lots of lurkers out of the woodwork,
      and everyone started to write in, especially the Australians.
      (Why?) Suddenly there was a BU group in Australia, a new
      editor in South Africa, and KFL members flooding in from all over
      the world. Last time I counted we had 40 countries involved,
      on all six continents.

      --Joe, oldest living KFL /BU entity, if this is what you call living ...
      <)8-)

      PS: This all happened so long ago that when we held our first
      (and last) election, we only got two votes sent in. I took this
      as a sign from Blind Io that elections were unDisclike and
      have never held one again.

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
      ------------------------------------------------------------------------
      If you did not get all 3 parts, write: jschaum111@...
      -------------------------------------------------------------------------
      End of Part 2, says my computer -- continued on Part 3 of 3



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