WOSSNAME -- OCTOBER 2002 -- PART 2 OF 3 (continued)
- WOSSNAME -- OCTOBER 2002 -- PART 2 OF 3 (continued)
KFL MEETS AROUND THE WORLD:
4) MELMEET REPORT #1 - MattMeet
Date : 28th September 2002
Venue : Lucky Chan's Tentacle Emporium :-) and other parts of downtown
Attending : Paul the Libwolf, Matt, Bek, SteVen, Dru, Tricia
Failing to Attend Due to The Usual Disasters : Dianne
Failing to Attend Due to The Plague : Lora
Well, here it is, yet another report on yet another Melmeet, and what a good
time to point out to the New South Welsh that they're falling so far
behind that the entire state of NSW is drifting into an alternate
It being nearly Matt's 21st birthday, we decided to have Yum Cha again. For
those of you unfamiliar with this wondrous experience, it's an Auriental
'brunch' consisting of an almost endless succession of Agateans wheeling
out little carts of "small foods" of various sorts - tentacles, little
envelopes of translucent steamed pastry containing assorted Named Meats,
sweet and savoury buns, seaweeds and such - you choose whatever you
want and share around the table. Either you love Yum Cha or hate it (Jase
coming up with excuses not to attend when Yum Cha is involved ).
First there was the matter of meeting. Tricia is one of our newbies, so we
didn't know what she looked like except that she was going to be wearing a
black Marilyn Manson t-shirt. Paul spent quite a lot of time running around
Spencer Street station asking women in black t-shirts if they wanted to have
lunch with him. Luckily, he wasn't arrested or beaten up and one of
the women turned out to be Tricia. Eventually we all met at Lucky Chan's
which is on the banks of the Yarra River which runs through the centre of
Melbourne. It's a lovely spot for fine weather dining. Unfortunately it was
cold windy and throwing down rain. Oh well.
Over lunch we traded various stories and viewed each other's tattoos. Matt
was toasted, and SteVen gave him a tin of sardines ( he'd already eaten the
tin of herring ) and also kindly proved that, in Matt's case, there *is*
such thing as a free lunch. Tricia eyed the platters of tentacles
suspiciously and prodded other dishes until she found Named Meat.
Then it was off for a walk, or a stagger in my case - chronic illness, NOT
alcohol! - along the soggy banks of the Yarra. We tried to get into the
Crown Casino to watch the suckers, but they decided at the entrance that we
weren't the right sort. Obviously we didn't look stupid enough... onwards
for a round of window-shopping and a raid on a CD shop, then across the
river to where the important shops are : COMICS!!!!!! We spent a long time
fondling the exhibits, and left a trail of drool near the Angel display ( no
names mentioned, but it wasn't me ).
Some of the party left early to beat the post-Grand Final rush ( Aussie
Rules Football ). Matt, SteVen and I carried on, and shopped, and wandered
and then had a very long coffee break, sitting outside as the rain had
stopped, and watching all the fascinating multicultural passersby. On the
way to the train, SteVen bought the entire contents of a sushi bar. We said
goodbye to Matt and retired to the Fortress to build up our strength for the
upcoming BoffinMeet in October.
Oh, yeah, did I mention that we also talked about some Brit fantasy author?
-- Drusilla D'Afanguin
5) MELMEET REPORT #2: BoffinMeet
THE LOONINESS OF THE LONG DISTANCE MELMEET
Date: 19th-22nd October 2002
Venues: Fasta Pasta (Noble Park), Bek's house, Pancake>Parlour
(Bourke St), Hania's house, Trios (Melbourne Central mall) and
various bits of downtown Melbourne, Australia
Attending (various): Jerm (boffin pumpkin), SteVen,Dru, Libwolf,
Bek, Matt (werecat), Hania (part time Ogg), Jase, and Lora (by
Originally planned as a one-day meet on the 20th to celebrate
NewSouthWelshman Jerm's rare presence in Mel's Bourne, the festivities
started early and just sort of forgot to stop.
First up was a surprise message from Jerm : 'The pumpkin has landed and he
is bored, bored, bored.' It was late in the day to send out a massed call
to arms, so SteVen and Dru joined Jerm and Bek and Bek's DB Jeff for fast
Italian (even though Dru already has one of those) and then retired to
Bek's where we raided bookshelves, watched really naff horror movies and
did a brisk trade in pirate S7 Buffy episodes. It was Jerm's first time
meeting Dru, and he's been a bit pale ever since, though everyone got along
well. We also discovered that Jerm is a secret rally driver. Do NOT put
that man at the head of a convoy!
Bek was also outed as a jolly good closet embroiderer and displayed some of
her collection of embroidered closets.
In a dazzling display of declawed multiculturalism, we moved from pasta to
pancakes at high noon. It was Hania's first Melmeet, and she is a young
lady who truly lives by the Code Of Ogg! Lunch was a bawdy, rowdy, cheerful
affair full of mountains of food, rude jokes, discussions of Pterry and
more rude jokes.
Lora was confined to her Chambers with a severe case of exams (and with B
who had a severe case of plague), so we kept sending her text messages
yumming over each new delicacy and generally making her life miserable (to
judge from her replies).
Hania had the Blackadder theme stuck in her head all morning and
had just announced that she'd suppressed it when SteVen brought
out the video he'd made for Dianne. It was Blackadder, of course!
So off we went singing the Blackadder theme to the accompaniment of
arrrgghhhhs. Next was a tour of several bookshops and a long session at
Minotaur, the Mecca of comix and sci fi delights. After a while our eyes
lit on a copy of The Wyrdest Link and we started playing it in the middle
of the bookshop; of course, they are blessedly inured to this sort of
behaviour, especially since one of us bought a copy.
After a few hours Wolf and Matt ran out of energy - not running on
Duracell obviously - and Jerm, Hania SteVen and Dru had a long
coffee break, did some more wandering and, as night descended, raided
a KFC (as Lora frantically texted "Don't eat the potatoes and gravy, I work
at KFC and I know what goes into them!!!") and continued our Wyrdest Link
session into the later hours. Jerm hit the invisible buzzer so often that
we decided to get him a life for Hogswatch :P
You'd think by now Jerm would have had enough of us, but no.
After a restful Monday we met downtown to do it all over again.
This time Jase joined in for lunch, then Jerm and Dru went window shopping,
stopping in the sadly soon-to-cease-trading Slow Glass Books. Nearby there
was a suspiciously magical antique bookshop with an antique proprietor who
looked like a close personal friend of Ronald 'Teach' Saveloy and the Duck
Man. Surrounded by wonderful ancient maps and wildlife paintings, Jerm was
powerless to resist the pull of his credit card. Ah, the smell of genteelly
mouldering books is an aroma to gladden the homesick European nose!
Time seemed to stand still in there, too. Your humble reporter would not be
surprised if - going back to the same spot - the shop not only
wasn't there, but *never had been* !!!
The last stop was at a garden centre, where Jerm bought menacing
Herbs and a pair of clay pots that looked like something Nanny would
have brought back from her grand journey to Genua; then on to SteVen's
office which was also invaded by SteVen's younger brother, who is tall,
handsome, baldand psychotic and who gave jerm a lift to the train so he
wouldn't have to imitate the lifting power of the average grandmother.
All in all it was a delightful few days, and we hope Jerm hasn't been
frightened away from Mel's Bourne forever.
Beat that, Sinneysiders! Hah!
p.s. They ate the P&G. Well, some people did. Not this little black
-- Drusilla D'Afanguin
This section is not limited to Australia, although we run
a lot of their stuff since they are a very active group.
We'd particularly like to run material about other DW
meets, especially from the US, Canada, and Europe.
If your group is holding these meets, please send details
to Joe Schaumburger, editor, WOSSNAME at:
jschaum111@... and we will be very happy to
run your writeups.
LETTERS FROM OUR READERS
6) WHO FIXED THE PALACE?
To the Editor:
I've been listening to one of the discworld tapes my mother
had: it's Guards, Guards. The Dragon wrecked the palace
but in the next book the Patrician's palace is back to the
way it was, or seemed to be. So did the Wizards do
some magic stuff and remake it, or was it rebuilt and I
missed it somewhere? I just wondered.
To the Editor:
The Dragon hollowed out a large amount of the center, but the shell, the
dungeon, and enough of the rest was left so that the Patrician could use
secret passages. Ankh-Morpork routinely rebuilds after fires and floods.
I think he Palace was probably routinely rebuilt (maybe with a few more
secret passages) and nobody paid much attention to the fact, so it wasn't
mentioned in the text.
7) ANYONE GOT A TLINGAS?
To the Editor:
I was wondering if you could answer a small question I have about
discworld, in PYRAMIDS, pg 10 bout the mid of the page, it says
Teppic, Pteppic, or whatever, has a pair of 'Tlingas' in his boots.
I would just like to know what Tlingas are -- other than a sort
Sorry, all I can find about tlingas is the quote you mentioned:
"A couple of long-bladed throwing tlingas were slipped into
their sheaths inside his boots." p. 9 Gollancz edition.
The closest I can come otherwise is "tlingit" -- a group of
Alaskan Indians, whom I doubt could be slipped into anyone's
I will ask Terry.
8) ELTON SELLING SOME OF HIS COLLECTION
To the Editor:
Just a short note today to let you know that the new Clarecraft Bruta
and Om figurine has been released and is available from our online store
If that link is too long, please try the following one and navigate to
the Discworld section:
You may also like to know that we've started to add a few items to eBay,
too, and will be adding a few more over the coming weeks. The following
link should take you to a complete list of what we have on offer:
I'm also selling a few of my own personal bits at:
Both are worth a look...if only to see how much your own bits and pieces
If you did not get all 3 parts, write: jschaum111@...
End of Part 2, says my computer -- continued on Part 3 of 3