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80WOSSNAME - JANUARY 2002 - PART 1 OF 3

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  • JSCHAUM111@aol.com
    Jan 31, 2002
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      WOSSNAME
      Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
      January 2002 (Volume 5, Issue 1)

      *********************************************************************
      WOSSNAME is a FREE publication for members of the
      worldwide Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates,
      including the North American Discworld Society and other
      continental groups. Are you a member? Yes, if you sent
      in your name and e-mail address. Are there any dues? No.
      *********************************************************************
      Editor in Chief: Joseph Schaumburger
      News Editor: Bethany Ayers
      Staff Writers: Geof Johns, Michael Jones
      Puzzle Editor: CatTigerLi
      Art Director : Rhett Pennell
      World Membership Director: Becky Swaney
      Convention News Editor: Megan Perry
      Webmaster: Paul Wilkins, disk@...
      Copyright 2001 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
      ------------------------------------------------------------------------
      INDEX:

      ====Part 1

      1. New Books
      2. UK Bestseller Lists for 2001
      3. Hogswatch Update

      KFL MEETS AROUND THE WORLD
      4. UK Meets
      5. Australian Meets
      Breaking News
      Melmeet
      Sydmeet

      ====Part 2

      OTHER KFL WORLD REPORTS
      6. Spain
      7. Romania
      8. Letters from Our Readers

      ====Part 3

      9. GOFAD Dues Reduced
      10. Monthly Puzzle
      11. Helpful Curses
      12. Last Minute News: Truckers on the Stage

      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      1) NEW BOOKS

      Amazon.co.uk has announced they will offer
      THE LAST HERO by Terry Pratchett, illustrated
      by Paul Kidby, on August 15, 2002, in paperback,
      The book, which will sell for GBP 13.99 (USD 19.76)
      will have 160 pages new edition, same as the US
      and UK hardcover editions. The publisher is Gollancz,
      and the ISBN is 0575073772.
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      2) UK BESTSELLER LISTS FOR 2001

      Belated New Year greetings to all.

      The Paperback Fastsellers List for 2001 has
      THE TRUTH in at no. 29 with publisher's sales
      standing at 349,483, of which 260,802 were
      home sales and 88,681 were export.

      The Sunday Telegraph's hardback original
      fiction UK Bestsellers of the Year (books
      published in 2001) list had THIEF OF TIME
      in first position, with 131,742 recorded sales
      through the participating booksellers, THE
      LAST HERO in fourth position with 96,756
      sales, and THE AMAZING MAURICE AND
      HIS EDUCATED RODENTS in seventh
      position, with 84,339 sales.

      Methuen Drama is publishing Stephen Briggs's
      adaptations of THE FIFTH ELEPHANT (ISBN
      0-413-77115-6) and THE TRUTH (ISBN
      0-413-77116-4) on 21 February, both at £7.99.

      -- Colin Smythe
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      3) HOGSWATCH UPDATE

      Hands up all of you who thought that Hogswatchnight
      was December 24th on Discworld as well as Roundworld.

      The Discworld Companion (under 'Calendar') points out
      that Hogswatchnight and Crueltide are the middle AND
      END of the year, and that farmers often use the two as
      the same, working in half-years.

      Hence Hogswatchnight would have to be the end of the
      month (whichever month it was).

      -- diburaa_san@...

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
      KFL MEETS AROUND THE WORLD
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      4) UK MEETS

      FIRST REPORT
      BURA meet 2002/New Year meet
      BIRMINGHAM

      Date: 6th January 2002
      Attendees: Anne, Dru, Jessie, Fuzzy

      Also attending: Terry, Martin

      Featured telephonic attendee: Steven

      Topics of Conversation (not extensive): Pterry,
      trains, being run over by train (ew), birds, cats,
      dogs, friends, travel, music, food, BU,
      BU meets (past and future).

      We met at Birmingham Ne Street Station and
      as we had to wait another hour for Jessie's train
      from London we began the meet with a couple of
      cappuccino's and chat in Morelli's. Then we
      returned to the station and where soon approached
      by the meek Jessie and attendance was complete.

      As Birmingham is my home town I figured that a
      small tour was in order so I led the group to Victoria
      Square where we all marveled at the sight of the
      Floozy in the Jacuzzi. Also, still on show, was the
      'whole side of big building' huge advent calendar
      which was pretty impressive.

      Shortly after this we were joined on the telephone by
      Steven and all got the chance to wish him a belated
      Happy Birthday. (His birthday was on December 31st
      for those who did not know.) Then we moved on to
      Centenary Square and I took the group inside the
      Birmingham Symphony Hall which never fails to impress,
      then on to James Brindley Square and a very nice part
      of the Birmingham canal (which was still quite frozen).

      We then decided it was time for sustenance and popped
      into Pizza Express for, well, pizza of course! Much chatting
      later we decided it was time to head back to the station.
      I lead the way and contrary to belief, I would like to point
      out that at no point were we lost. (Why did they close that
      underpass? It was a short cut.)

      Back at the station we said our good-byes and are now
      looking forward to planning the next BURA meet which
      will hopefully be in the Spring.

      -- Anne
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      SECOND REPORT

      Hi Joe,

      Well,it looks like none of the Pommie Bu'ers have
      written about our meet,so it falls to Muggins here :-)

      Okay,here goes:

      BURA of 5th January 2002 was held on 6th January,
      which gives you an idea of how well organised we were.
      Attendees were Drusilla D'Afanguin, the well-known
      part-time vampire werepenguin and wolfhassler;
      Anne Syrana Poste-Carde, BURA founder and
      vegetarian vampire; Fuzzy,on a brief holiday from her
      secret residence in Australia;Jessie the Meek,
      accompanied by her ear infection; Fuzzy's Dad,
      Martin;and my *other* husband,Terry. Those
      who couldn't make it included PT the Woll, who
      was afflicted by a bad case of work,and Loopy,last
      seen on the M25 with his frozen thumb sticking out.

      We met at New Street Station, Birmingham (the one in
      England,for you Merkins). Once Martin had determined
      that we weren't crazed axe murderers - we took the
      precaution of leaving our axes in Left Luggage - we all
      got on famously. As the whole meet was on short notice,
      we hung around the station,drinking cappuccinos in honour
      of absent penguins,then were taken on a tour of Birmingham
      City Centre by Anne,and dined together at Pizza Express.

      No-one turned out to have terminal warts,some friendships
      were forged (and others were genuine), and the Absent
      Penguin phoned twice to wish us a good party and to be
      wished a belated happy birthday (for all two of you who don't
      know,his name is Steven and he was born on 31st December,
      a fact BU has pulled out of him only after extensive torture).

      Eventually we ran out of places to loiter and were getting
      suspicious looks from the City Watch,so we photographed
      each other, got lost on our way back to the station - thanks
      to our cunning native guide - and agreed to set up a Rites
      of Spring BURA after Easter,at which time there will be a
      Rocks In jam session,and Cooking With Menaces.

      Oh,and we'll bring our axes this time :-)

      -- Drusilla the Noisy Cow, Irish Defender of BURA
      (notadeadparrot@...)

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
      5. AUSTRALIAN MEETS
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      BREAKING NEWS ~crash~

      The feud between MelMeeters (with the number of meets
      they have managed have the right to feel proud) and the
      Sydsiders (who managed to organise a meet for two
      places on the one street at the same time) has been
      slightly lessened by the exchange of diplomatic envoys.
      Kiren of Sydney visited Melbourne last week, Bek of
      Melbourne is venturing into the Barbarian Lands in the
      weeks to come. Watch this space for more
      information.
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      MELMEET

      Revenge of the Return of the Bride of
      the Son of MelMeet II part 15
      01/15/2002

      Greetings one and all,

      The latest MelMeet was a big success, despite
      Dianne being unable to join us and Paul being at
      a job interview. Paul, we all wish you every success
      with the interview, and hope you remembered that even
      Libwolves don't get the job if they drop an ephalent on the
      interviewer from a great height.

      Trina sends her apologies that she couldn't make it, and
      says that she hopes to be re-subscribing to the insanity
      of BU some time in the next few weeks.

      Bek and Matt and Jase arrived early. Your Humble Narrator
      arrived just after 12:30, not 5 seconds after Jase wondered
      aloud if I would be coming at all. I would have been there
      earlier, except the entire tram system was shut down for
      some parade for fire fighters who saved NSW from burning.
      Apparently NSW fire fighters haven't discovered "water"
      yet and had to have Victorians help them.

      Greetings were exchanged, business transactions were finalised,
      and Microsoft was bagged. Kieran arrived next, exhausted from
      his efforts to stop his girfriend spending the budget of a small
      European country on clothes. Obviously the effort had worn out
      his brain, because he had left her alone at the Victoria Market.
      We can only hope that the credit card self-destructs before it
      melts-down and kills us all.

      We made it easy on the waiter by all ordering the same: Druid's
      Burgers and Coke. Except for Steven, who had to be different
      and order Chinotto instead. The b-----d.

      We then made fun of Microsoft's "settlement" after being found
      guilty of using a monopoly to illegally control another market
      (for those who are unfamiliar with MS's proposed "punishment",
      they suggested that they donate millions of dollars of Microsoft
      software to schools -- since the education market is one of the
      few areas that MS don't control, the judge threw it out as an
      obviously predatory action). We then drooled over the Macintosh
      Cube and iMac, talked about lax security at universities,
      wondered whether Linux would play V-CDs, argued about how
      long it would take Optus to shut-down your Optus At Home
      account if you downloaded 300 Gigabytes a day, and briefly
      mentioned a little-known English fantasy writer named
      Perry Hatchett, or something similar.

      We talked about Paul behind his back. Oh boy Paul, did you
      *really* do that thing with the tub of margarine, the watermelon and
      the bottle of tomato sauce? We laughed and laughed until it hurt!

      Steven then surprised everyone, especially Jase, by remembering the
      names of his wife and children. Luckily nobody asked him to spell
      Konnar^H^H^H Conar^H^H^H Conah^H^H^H^H the name of his son.

      Unfortunately, Steven then had to return to work, however unknown to
      the others he slipped a small but powerful bug under the table, and
      transmitted their conversation back to his home where it was recorded.
      So guys, you better hope you didn't say bad things about me while I
      was gone. I know where you live.

      Except Kieran, but he's a Sydneysider, so we have to make allowances
      if he says anything stoopid.

      All in all, a fine time was had by all, except for the waiter who had
      to hose down the walls afterwards (really Kieran, do you eat like that
      at home?).


      -- Steven D'Aprano
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      SYDMEET

      (This information is not very complete and seems
      to be pieced together from shredded documents,
      but it's all we have ....)

      Bekmeet v.1

      *Looks around* Um, guys? any decisions yet?
      Poor lass here will be cut off from net access
      from next thursday PM

      Bek - wondering if bekmeet will occur?
      --------------------------------------------------------
      Sunday, January 27, 2002 12:16 PM
      Re: Bekmeet v.1

      There is a mamas kitchen just down from town hall...
      <shrug> just across from the spanish club.

      -- jerm
      sometime city worker
      ----------------------------------------------------------------

      Sent: Sunday, January 27, 2002 3:03 AM
      Subject: Re: [ozdw] Re: Bekmeet v.1

      Bek wrote:

      >Yes, we will be driving to sydney... So, 10:30 at some place in the city?
      >we do have a map of sydney as well, so street names would be good :-)
      >
      >wandering, eating and staring at books I want to buy (because i'm almost
      >bankrupt as it is, and will be by the time i get to sydney) sounds good to
      >me
      >
      >Bek
      ---------------------------------------------------------------
      Have fun parking in the city... we'll have to enjoy
      lunch without you.

      Does anyone know good cafes? I like the old mamma's
      kitchen suggestion, cheapish and kinda out of the way.
      We could go Broadway or Market City (market city is
      good if we meet at central). If we meet at town hall, I'm
      not too sure about anything close that is good, but it is
      more convenient for galaxy bookstore...

      -- Kieran B.

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
      *************************************************************************
      End of Part 1, says my computer -- continued on Part 2 of 3