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425WOSSNAME - APRIL 2008 - PART 5 OF 5

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  • Not A Granny
    Apr 27, 2008
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      WOSSNAME - APRIL 2008 -- PART 5 OF 5 (continued)
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      ====Part 5 -- MORE HOROSCOPE, AND CLOSE

      24) YOUR MONTHLY DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE, CONTINUED
      25) CLOSE

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      24) HOROSCOPE DEC > MAR

      Great T'Phon's Foot 23 Nov - 21 Dec

      Do you want to live an exciting life beyond city and the law, living
      by your wits, with every man's hand turned against you? Then you are
      very fortunate, for this month the stars recommend that Footies like
      yourself take on the exciting and dangerous, but very rewarding,
      career of chicken rustling. Out on the Octarine Grass Country,
      chicken-farmers from Quirm and Pseudopolis raise vast herds of Old
      Morporkian Bantams, Brindisian Leghorns, Klatchian Game Fowl and
      Burpingtons. Fernando feels sorry for the Pseudopolitans, but the
      Quirmians and their cheating footsballers do not deserve chickens.

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      Hoki the Jokester 22 Dec - 20 Jan

      Hokians are known for their mischievous sense of humour, and the
      stars say that this month will be a good time to let your imagination
      run wild with the practical jokes, japes and gags. But Fernando must
      warn you: there are many people who do not appreciate the Ankh-
      Morporkian idea of a good joke, like the burning bag of dog-doings on
      the front step, putting salt in the sugar jar, stink bombs, or gluing
      a cat inside somebody's hat. So be imaginative, be safe, and
      especially be far away when you are found out.

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      The Rather Large Gazunda 21 Jan - 18 Feb

      Every day Fernando gets many letters from kind Morporkian business
      men telling him that he can make money fast. Fernando is very
      grateful for their offers, but Fernando's needs are simple and he is
      already making enough to pay the bills, and a little extra to send
      home to Mamma, may the Gods smile upon her. But for Gazundians, this
      month the stars say that you too can make money fast, as much as you
      want, for the stars recommend you take up a career as a banker. All
      you need is a charter from the Patrician, a large expensive building
      made of marble, and a top hat, and you too can have a licence to make
      as much money as you want.

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      Lesser Umbrage 19 Feb - 20 Mar

      Fernando wishes to make love, not war, but Fernando is also a realist
      and knows that there is always a war or revolution happening
      somewhere. This month, war is good news for Umbragians, because the
      stars say you should take up arms dealing. Igors may also sell legs.
      If you are especially keen, you should consider travelling to faraway
      lands and whipping up some new business. Just stay out of Brindisi.

      A NOTE FROM FERNANDO:

      Next month: one more sign will change! But do not fear, for Fernando
      will guide you through these tumultuous times! Ciao bella!

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      25) AND IT'S GOODNIGHT FROM HER

      And there you have it. A most important birthday, new constellations,
      a fan guild waiting to be born, and all the rest. Let's have one more
      cheer for Pterry's birthday - hip, hip, hippo! Now go read the links.
      See you next month!

      -- Annie Mac.

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      End of Part 5.
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      Copyright (c) 2008 by Klatchian Foreign Legion