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T'was the Month After Christmas

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  • wdestiny44@aol.com
    T was the Month After Christmas Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house, Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I d nibbled,
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 31, 2008
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      T'was the Month After Christmas

      'Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house,
      Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
      The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd tasted,
      At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

      When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
      When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber),
      I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
      The gravies and sauces, and beef nicely rared.

      The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese,
      And the way I'd never said, "No, thank you, please."
      As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt,
      And prepared once again to do battle with dirt.

      I said to myself (as I only can),
      "You can spend a winter disguised as a man!"
      So, away with the last of the sour cream dip,
      Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.

      Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
      'Til all the additional ounces have vanished.
      I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
      I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

      I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
      I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
      I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore --
      But isn't that what January is for?

      Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
      Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet.

      (Author Unknown)
      http://www.dvo.com/newsletter/monthly/2002/january/jest.html




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