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7 Tips For Being An Awesome Husband

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  • Kapuulya Musomba
    Even the greatest athlete benefits from coaching. Though I realize that husbands reading this likely are already awesome, I offer these tips as a marriage
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 27, 2012
      Even the greatest athlete benefits from coaching. Though I realize that husbands reading this likely are already awesome, I offer these tips as a marriage coach. Use them to go from great to glorious in seven easy steps.
      TIP 1: Do Not Talk To Her As If She Is One of The Guys.
      When men talk with their male friends, they tend to be direct or even argumentative. They share their opinions freely and bluntly. They jokingly insult each other. They blast anything the other guy says that they do not like or agree with. They rarely stop to think, “Am I being insensitive? Could I possibly be hurting his feelings?” The guy code is to let the chips fall where they may.
      Women are NOT like that.
      If a husband talks with his wife in the same manner. He thinks he is being honest and forthright. She feels he is being a jerk.If you really want to be a better husband, understand that women speak a different language. Unless you learn to speak that language, you will never communicate on the deeper levels with her.
      TIP 2: Make Sure That She Does Not Perceive You As Controlling.
      The most common complaint we hear from women in our workshops for marriages in crisis is that their husbands try to control them. Interestingly, the husband usually counters with his view that she is the controlling one. To make sure your wife does NOT feel that you control her, concentrate on her feelings about what you say and do. If she genuinely feels that you treat her as your equal, you are doing it correctly.
      TIP 3: Romance Is What She Really Wants.
      While humans – both male and female – have need for sexual fulfillment, it appears that men may be more satisfied by the frequency of sex, but women may be more satisfied by the emotional relationship in sex. To be a better husband, Court her. Think of new and different scenarios that PRECEDE your sexual interaction. Make her feel wonderful about herself and make sex exciting not just by technique, but also by touching her heart first.
      TIP 4: Listening Is The Key To Her Heart.
      If you wish to change the way your wife perceives you, increase her sexual satisfaction, and become in her mind the best man on earth, listen to her.Listen to her heart as well as her words. As she talks ask yourself, “What is she feeling as she tells me this?” Even more importantly, ask yourself, “What is the message she really wants me to hear?” Once she knows that you are genuinely interested in her views, thoughts, and feelings, you can actually ask her those questions.
      This one thing can change you into a better husband in one month: Each day spend at least a half-hour just listening to your wife talk. Turn off the TV, cellphones, and radios. Find a place where there are no distractions, including interruptions from your children. Look directly into her eyes, and then ask a couple questions to get her started. Comment only if she asks, or if you want better to understand something she just said. Show her that you enjoy hearing her talk, no matter how trivial the subject, because it helps you understand her better and love her more.
      TIP 5: Time Matters.
      Quality time is more important than quantity of time. Allowing work, hobbies, or other interests to keep you from spending time with your wife will, with time, deaden emotions.
      You may have heard “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” From my experience with thousands of couples, I think the more accurate axiom is “absence makes the heart grow fonder for someone else.” Make time just for the two of you. It will not happen if you do not make it happen. Plan it and do it.
      TIP 6: Be Her Support, Not Her Father.
      The next time your wife comes home complaining about how someone treated her, do NOT tell her what she should have done, tell her what she should do, listen, understand what she feels, and then give her the “poor baby.”
      The “poor baby” is just what it sounds like. Let her know she has a right to feel hurt and that you are sorry it happened to her. Treat her as your equal. If she complains about a situation, your job is to listen, let her know you are on HER side (even if you think she did not handle things correctly, or that it was her fault) and that you are always there to support her. More than likely, she wants to forget the incident, but she needs validation that she has a right to feel hurt or angry. Give it to her.
      TIP 7: Keep Growing.
      No husband or wife reaches perfection in his or her roles. There will be plenty of times throughout your marriage when you will make mistakes, say the wrong thing, or leave your dirty underwear lying on the bedroom floor. It happens to the best of husbands. But it is important to not let those moments of blunders define your marriage. Use every opportunity you can to continue to grow closer to your wife and learn more about her wants, needs, desires, and aspirations. Keep learning and growing. Just like a fine wine or aged cheese, marriage gets better over the years.
      Contributed by :Joe Beam founded Beam
      Sent to you by
      Kapuulya Angetile Musomba
      P. O. Box 76 925
      Dar Es Salaam, TANZANIA
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