[Moments Together for Couples]:Foxes in the Vineyard
- Song of Songs 2:15
Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that are ruining the vineyards, while our vineyards are in blossom.In 1994, we started having children - 4 in 10 years. We have discovered what Solomon calls the "little foxes": the thieves that will steal the fruit of love before it has a chance to be enjoyed. For us, these "foxes" have included:
Wrong priorities; Young kids who wear you out; Teenagers who won't go to bed; Financial pressures; Poor health; Crowded schedules; Unresolved conflict.I think the most deadly fox, however, is apathy (indifference). If you truly are committed to making your marriage last for a lifetime, and enjoying the type of oneness God intends in a relationship, you need to make a choice to keep romance in your marriage.If you want to put the spark of romance back into your marriage, I have two tips.First,become a student of your mate. Do you know that men and women view romance through different lenses? To confirm this, the next time you are in a Bible study, Sunday School class or marriage seminars, divide the men and women into separate groups and ask them to answer the same question:What is something romantic that you would like your mate to do for you?I'll guarantee you that themen's list will focus on physical intimacy: "Dress up in a sexy negligee" or "Meet me at the front door without any clothes on." Men are motivated by sight and touch,The women, however, will say things like, "Take me to a romantic, restaurant," "Spend time talking with me" or "Sit in front of a fire and cuddle." women want to develop a relationship.Second,
take the time to plan some creative romance. Do something different, out of the ordinary, something that will capture your mate's attention. Perhaps you need to take a weekend away or create a trip of you two alone, just the two of you. You'd be surprised how many couples have never done this since their honeymoons.
Prayer:That God will give you a better understanding of what your spouse needs when it comes to romance, and the courage to act on that understanding.Discuss:What is something romantic you'd like your mate to do for you? Write down three things, then exchange lists with your mate.
Kapuulya Angetile Musomba
P. O. Box 76 925
Dar Es Salaam, TANZANIA