[Moments of Couples Together] The Great Cover-Up (Part One)
And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
Nothing is as easy as talking; nothing is as difficult as communicating. Good communication is a longed-for luxury in all kinds of relationships, but it is especially essential in families. And one of the most basic requirements for good communication-transparency-is hinted at in the Scripture above.Prayer:
Before the Fall, Adam and Eve were the picture of true transparency. Not only were they uncovered physically; they had nothing to hide emotionally. But after the Fall, "The eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings" (Gen. 3:7).
This is the beginning of "The Great Cover-Up." Many people diligently continue the practice to this day. They spend a great deal of time and energy acquiring fatades and veneers in order to hide their insecurities and fears.
Transparency can be very threatening, especially for men. For example, many men believe that to be so vulnerable that they shed tears openly is a sign of weakness. They have been taught that men are to be strong, self-contained and invincible. Fortunately, this pattern has been changing in recent years.
Paul modeled transparency when he wrote to the Corinthians, "For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote to you with many tears; not that you should be made sorrowful, but that you might know the love which I have especially for you" (2 Cor. 2:4). Jesus wept over the death of His friend Lazarus (see John 11:35), and lamented His rejection by hard-hearted Jerusalem (see Luke 13:34).
Reversing "The Great Cover-Up" and becoming open and dropping your guard with others can be risky. It requires a high level of trust, and the willingness to accept the other person no matter what his or her transparency reveals. But the rewards of transparency make it worth the risk. True intimacy is enjoyed only by those who are willing to be seen as they really are.
Ask God to enable you to be transparent with Him. Pray that a deeper level of this openness can be incorporated in your marriage and family.
Discuss: Why does being transparent involve risks? On a scale of one to five, with one at the top, how would you rate the level of transparency in your family? When have you been the most transparent in your marriage?
Kapuulya Angetile Musomba
P. O. Box 76 925Dar Es Salaam, TANZANIA
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