Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Wrong Crowd
- on 9/29/01 2:44 PM, discovery6@... at discovery6@... wrote:
> I will try to keep this short. The problem is that my friend feels that herI have zero credibility in the teen department since my daughter is only 10
> son (age 15) runs around with a group of boys (ages 17-19) that she feels is
> have become a determent to her son.
but someone who does have a good relationship with her teens strongly
recommends Parent/Teen Breakthrough: the relationship approach by Mira
Kirshenbaum. She sums up her book by saying Don't do anything that doesn't
enhance your relationship with your teen.
Teens are designed to break away from control so the more parents try to
control the harder the teens fight against it. So the teen years are times
to work on the relationship so that they feel the parent is someone they can
talk to about things rather than someone who is still trying to run their
Sandra's idea sounds like a good way of jumping to the talking point without
letting go and then waiting (what would undoubtedly feel like ages!) for the
teen to realize the parent is there for him to talk with.
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., Fetteroll <fetteroll@e...> wrote:
I have zero credibility in the teen department since my daughter is
> but someone who does have a good relationship with her teens
> recommends Parent/Teen Breakthrough: the relationship approach by
> Kirshenbaum. She sums up her book by saying Don't do anything that
> enhance your relationship with your teen.
You know, what bugs me most about parents (and adults) in general is
the fact that they treat teen agers like children. My girls are my
social and moral equal. They are 14 and 16. Yes, I am still their
mother, yes they listen to me about as much as I listen to my mother
who also lives on this property. We all respect each other as people
and talk to each otehr a lot. My three best female friends are my
mother and my daughters.
In the midst of a conversation, I said this and someone picked it up
as a tagline for a while. It sums up my thoughts on teens very well!
"We treat our teens like children at best and criminals at worst,
then are surprised and shocked when they act like children or act
- In a message dated 9/30/01 2:01:18 PM, crma@... writes:
<< he finally managed to get his reading skills when
he found D&D in junior high. Before that time *nothing* he was given
in school or found was worth the pain of reading >>
MAYBE he was just a guy who didn't get reading until he was 12 or 13, and in
"Are You My Mother?" fashion, D&D was what was there when it happened. <g>
I'm not saying that's a bad thing, at all. My boys credit Nintendo Power
Magazine (Kirby) and the player's guide for Breath of Fire III (Marty), but I
guess it could have been any other thing that was right there when they "got