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Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Wrong Crowd

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  • Fetteroll
    ... I have zero credibility in the teen department since my daughter is only 10 but someone who does have a good relationship with her teens strongly
    Message 1 of 10 , Oct 1, 2001
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      on 9/29/01 2:44 PM, discovery6@... at discovery6@... wrote:

      > I will try to keep this short. The problem is that my friend feels that her
      > son (age 15) runs around with a group of boys (ages 17-19) that she feels is
      > have become a determent to her son.

      I have zero credibility in the teen department since my daughter is only 10
      but someone who does have a good relationship with her teens strongly
      recommends Parent/Teen Breakthrough: the relationship approach by Mira
      Kirshenbaum. She sums up her book by saying Don't do anything that doesn't
      enhance your relationship with your teen.

      Teens are designed to break away from control so the more parents try to
      control the harder the teens fight against it. So the teen years are times
      to work on the relationship so that they feel the parent is someone they can
      talk to about things rather than someone who is still trying to run their
      lives.

      Sandra's idea sounds like a good way of jumping to the talking point without
      letting go and then waiting (what would undoubtedly feel like ages!) for the
      teen to realize the parent is there for him to talk with.

      Joyce
    • Bridget
      ... I have zero credibility in the teen department since my daughter is only 10 ... strongly ... Mira ... doesn t ... You know, what bugs me most about parents
      Message 2 of 10 , Oct 1, 2001
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        --- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., Fetteroll <fetteroll@e...> wrote:
        I have zero credibility in the teen department since my daughter is
        only 10
        > but someone who does have a good relationship with her teens
        strongly
        > recommends Parent/Teen Breakthrough: the relationship approach by
        Mira
        > Kirshenbaum. She sums up her book by saying Don't do anything that
        doesn't
        > enhance your relationship with your teen.

        You know, what bugs me most about parents (and adults) in general is
        the fact that they treat teen agers like children. My girls are my
        social and moral equal. They are 14 and 16. Yes, I am still their
        mother, yes they listen to me about as much as I listen to my mother
        who also lives on this property. We all respect each other as people
        and talk to each otehr a lot. My three best female friends are my
        mother and my daughters.

        Bridget
        In the midst of a conversation, I said this and someone picked it up
        as a tagline for a while. It sums up my thoughts on teens very well!

        "We treat our teens like children at best and criminals at worst,
        then are surprised and shocked when they act like children or act
        like criminals."
      • SandraDodd@aol.com
        In a message dated 9/30/01 2:01:18 PM, crma@ix.netcom.com writes:
        Message 3 of 10 , Oct 1, 2001
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          In a message dated 9/30/01 2:01:18 PM, crma@... writes:

          << he finally managed to get his reading skills when
          he found D&D in junior high. Before that time *nothing* he was given
          in school or found was worth the pain of reading >>

          MAYBE he was just a guy who didn't get reading until he was 12 or 13, and in
          "Are You My Mother?" fashion, D&D was what was there when it happened. <g>

          I'm not saying that's a bad thing, at all. My boys credit Nintendo Power
          Magazine (Kirby) and the player's guide for Breath of Fire III (Marty), but I
          guess it could have been any other thing that was right there when they "got
          it."

          Sandra

          Sandra

          "Everything counts."
          http://expage.com/SandraDoddArticles
          http://expage.com/SandraDodd
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