Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.
 

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? - Humor

Expand Messages
  • GraceWatcher@aol.com
    From the Desk of GraceWatcher@aol.com We Are Spiritual Beings Having a Human Experience anyway...........I thought this was cute ... Love and Light Paul E
    Message 1 of 1 , Oct 11, 2002
      From the Desk of GraceWatcher@...
      "We Are Spiritual Beings Having a Human Experience"

      anyway...........I thought this was cute

      > WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD???
      >
      > GEORGE W. BUSH - I don't think I should have to answer that question.
      >
      > AL GORE - I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the
      > chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two
      > different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed
      > to bring greater services to the American people.
      >
      > RICHARD C. HOAGLAND - NASA maybe concealing something here. There
      > must have being a face on that chicken.
      >
      > LINDA M. HOWE - There is reason to believe that there may be an
      > environmental issue concerning chickens.
      >
      > RALPH NADER - The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road
      > had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did
      > not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because
      > it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
      >
      > PAT BUCHANAN - To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
      >
      > RUSH LIMBAUGH - I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but
      > I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and
      > I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help
      > chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome.  Can you believe this? How
      > much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road
      > paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm
      > talking about your money, money the government took from you to build
      > roads for chickens to cross.
      >
      > DAVID ICKE - Chickens like all birds are yet another breed of reptile.
      >
      > MARTHA STEWART - No one called to warn me which way that chicken was
      > going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs
      > when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
      > insider information.
      >
      > JERRY FALWELL - Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't
      > you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was
      > going to the "other side. That's what they call it - the other side.
      > Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken,
      > you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort
      > out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
      > seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
      >
      > DR. SEUSS - Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
      > toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not
      > been told!
      >
      > ERNEST HEMINGWAY - To die. In the rain. Alone.
      >
      > MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. - I envision a world where all chickens will
      > be free to cross roads without having their motives called into
      > question.
      >
      > GRANDPA - In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
      > Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
      > enough for us.
      >
      > BARBARA WALTERS - Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
      > listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming
      > story of how it a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish
      > its life-long dream of crossing the road.
      >
      > JOHN LENNON - Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
      >
      > ARISTOTLE -It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
      >
      > KARL MARX  - It was a historical inevitability.
      >
      > SADDAM HUSSEIN - This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
      > quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
      >
      > VOLTAIRE - I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will
      > defend to the death its right to do it.
      >
      > RONALD REAGAN - What chicken?
      >
      > CAPTAIN KIRK - To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
      >
      > FOX MULDER - You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many
      > more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
      >
      > SIGMUND FREUD - The fact that you are at all concerned that the
      > chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
      >
      > BILL GATES - I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only
      > cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
      > balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable
      > part of eChicken.
      >
      > ALBERT EINSTEIN - Did the chicken really cross the road or did the
      > road move beneath the chicken?
      >
      > BILL CLINTON - I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do
      > you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
      >
      > THE BIBLE - And God came down from the heavens, and He sayth unto the
      > chicken, "Thou shalt crossith the road!" And the chicken crossed the
      > road, and there was much rejoicing.
      >
      > ART BELL - Let's hear it from the chicken. On my chicken line, you're
      > on the air!
      >
      > THE CHICKEN - CLUCK cluck CLUCK cluck CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK!
      >
      > COLONEL SANDERS - I missed one?
      >





      Love and Light
      Paul E Jones
      ---------------------------------------------
      email addresses/
      GraceWatcher@...    
      GraceWatcher@...
      gracewatcher@...
      -------------------------------------------
      Instant Messagners/
      AIM- GraceWatcher 
      Yahoo- GraceWatcher 
      MSN- GraceWatcher
      Paltalk- GraceWatcher
      ICQ- 10929390
      -------------------------------------------
      Web Site/
      UFOs, Paranormal, Lightwork, Ascension, Keys of Enoch, Theosophy, Kabbalah
      Ascended Masters, Angels, Star-Seeds, Walk-Ins, Pyramids, Earth Mysteries
      http://hometown.aol.com/gracewatcher
      *********************************
      other web sites of interest/
      SpiritWeb  http://www.spiritweb.org
      The Witches Voice  http://www.witchvox.com
      Jody's 'ET Phone Home' Page  http://www2.hawaii.edu/~boyne
      ------------------------------------


      Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
      Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
      Version: 6.0.389 / Virus Database: 220 - Release Date: 9/16/2002

















    Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.