WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? - Humor
- From the Desk of GraceWatcher@...
"We Are Spiritual Beings Having a Human Experience"
anyway...........I thought this was cute
> WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD???
> GEORGE W. BUSH - I don't think I should have to answer that question.
> AL GORE - I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the
> chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two
> different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed
> to bring greater services to the American people.
> RICHARD C. HOAGLAND - NASA maybe concealing something here. There
> must have being a face on that chicken.
> LINDA M. HOWE - There is reason to believe that there may be an
> environmental issue concerning chickens.
> RALPH NADER - The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road
> had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did
> not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because
> it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
> PAT BUCHANAN - To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
> RUSH LIMBAUGH - I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but
> I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and
> I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help
> chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How
> much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road
> paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm
> talking about your money, money the government took from you to build
> roads for chickens to cross.
> DAVID ICKE - Chickens like all birds are yet another breed of reptile.
> MARTHA STEWART - No one called to warn me which way that chicken was
> going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs
> when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
> insider information.
> JERRY FALWELL - Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't
> you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was
> going to the "other side. That's what they call it - the other side.
> Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken,
> you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort
> out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
> seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
> DR. SEUSS - Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
> toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not
> been told!
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY - To die. In the rain. Alone.
> MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. - I envision a world where all chickens will
> be free to cross roads without having their motives called into
> GRANDPA - In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
> Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
> enough for us.
> BARBARA WALTERS - Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
> listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming
> story of how it a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish
> its life-long dream of crossing the road.
> JOHN LENNON - Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
> ARISTOTLE -It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
> KARL MARX - It was a historical inevitability.
> SADDAM HUSSEIN - This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
> quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
> VOLTAIRE - I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will
> defend to the death its right to do it.
> RONALD REAGAN - What chicken?
> CAPTAIN KIRK - To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
> FOX MULDER - You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many
> more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
> SIGMUND FREUD - The fact that you are at all concerned that the
> chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
> BILL GATES - I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only
> cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
> balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable
> part of eChicken.
> ALBERT EINSTEIN - Did the chicken really cross the road or did the
> road move beneath the chicken?
> BILL CLINTON - I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do
> you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
> THE BIBLE - And God came down from the heavens, and He sayth unto the
> chicken, "Thou shalt crossith the road!" And the chicken crossed the
> road, and there was much rejoicing.
> ART BELL - Let's hear it from the chicken. On my chicken line, you're
> on the air!
> THE CHICKEN - CLUCK cluck CLUCK cluck CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK!
> COLONEL SANDERS - I missed one?
Love and Light
Paul E Jones
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