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Invasion of the Penis Snatchers

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  • ungapotchka_mcgillicuty
    Invasion of the Penis Snatchers From the Files of Fortean Slips by D. Trull Enigma Editor dtrull@parascope.com (Disclaimer: This special PG-13 Fortean Slip is
    Message 1 of 2 , Aug 21, 2002
    • 0 Attachment
      Invasion of the Penis Snatchers

      From the Files of Fortean Slips

      by D. Trull
      Enigma Editor
      dtrull@...

      (Disclaimer: This special PG-13 Fortean Slip is guaranteed to be
      delivered absolutely 100% free of cheap, hackneyed references to John
      and Lorena Bobbitt. Except for this one.)

      Good old Sigmund Freud, history's most revered pervert, theorized that
      the better part of a man's psychological makeup was predicated by a
      secret primal fear of having his genitals removed. While it's
      certainly a dreadworthy scenario, emasculation seems an unlikely
      candidate as the chief determining factor of a guy's destiny. You've
      got to wonder why Freud didn't focus on a more commonplace anxiety in
      men's lives, like fear of the Internal Revenue Service, or fear of
      getting too old to conceivably score with the Playmate of the Month.
      After all, male organs don't just disappear by themselves.

      Right?

      Unfortunately, the answer is not an unequivocal "no." There are
      disturbing reports from Africa about a sinister occult group, which
      has supposedly been been using magical powers to make their victims'
      private parts vanish. These evil bastards are locally known as the
      penis snatchers.

      Said to be mostly Nigerian, they have struck in several towns along
      the Atlantic coast from Cameroon to Nigeria. Witnesses claim that the
      penis snatchers perpetrate their fiendish hex with no more physical
      contact than a handshake. One 18-year-old casualty indicated that he
      shook hands with a Nigerian, whom he thought was his friend, when "he
      felt an electric-like current run through him, and a feeling that his
      manhood had retreated into his stomach."

      Yee-ouch. Outrage in these areas has swelled to such a magnitude that
      three accused penis snatchers have been lynched by furious mobs and
      hanged. A number of other reputed members of the member-swiping gang
      have been hospitalized with brutal injuries.

      Incidentally, doctors examining the victims reported that every one of
      the allegedly snatched penises was in fact present and accounted for,
      entirely intact. Does that mean that this brand of genitalia thievery
      is a mercifully short-lived curse that's over before you even have to
      pee? Or could it be that these guys are afflicted with a phenomenally
      intense Freudian and Fortean conflict, and Mr. Happy's disappearing
      act was totally in their heads?

      We bearers of the Y-chromosome can hopefully continue shaking
      strangers' hands with impunity, because there is a medically
      documented precedent for a type of psychosomatic Penis Snatcherism.
      I'm not joking. This disorder is indigenous to eastern Asia, known in
      Malaysia as koro ("turtle head") and in China as Shook Yang
      ("shrinking penis"). It is characterized by frightful delusions that
      the penis is retracting into the body, never to be seen again. The
      condition is thought to be triggered by a cultural fixation on the
      importance of male reproductive prowess, and may be exacerbated by
      feelings of guilt over impotence, masturbation or infidelity.

      You know, this sounds like a perfect plot line for a porno movie
      ripoff called "The XXX-Files." Investigating paranormal sexual
      phenomena for the FBI, skeptical agent Sullky and free-believing agent
      Nailder encounter the most baffling case of their very smutty careers:

      Nailder: "I'm telling you, Sullky, there's got to be some kind of
      black magic behind this. We've got reports coming out of Limbe, Tiko,
      Muea and Batoke -- it was only a matter of time before the penis
      snatchers struck on this continent."

      Sullky: "Penis snatchers? Nailder, you've obviously never heard of
      Shook Yang, a psychogenic syndrome that reached epidemic proportions
      in Singapore in 1968. Men with Shook Yang are so stricken with the
      unfounded fear that their penises are vanishing into their abdominal
      cavities, they resort to clamping the organ with strings and pins,
      weighing it down with heavy hanging objects, or enlisting relatives to
      grab onto it so it won't slip away."

      Nailder winces in dismay.

      Sullky: "In fact, a common treatment for Shook Yang is for the man's
      wife to confine the organ to the safety of her mouth."

      Nailder: "Hmmm... Uh, Sullky, I just remembered: I shook hands with
      one of those guys."

      Sources:The Electronic Telegraph; "Extraordinary Disorders of Human
      Behavior," edited by Claude T. H. Friedmann and Robert A. Faguet,
      Plenum Press, 1982. Special thanks to Ruffin Prevost.

      (c) Copyright 1996 ParaScope, Inc.
    • Valerie G. Schott, M.S.
      Actually, Koro is mentioned in the DSM-IV(the book the docs use to diagnose mental illness) along with other culturally specific mental disorders... pretty
      Message 2 of 2 , Aug 22, 2002
      • 0 Attachment
        Actually, Koro is mentioned in the DSM-IV(the book the docs use to diagnose
        mental illness)
        along with other culturally specific mental disorders... pretty
        interesting, isn't it? BB, Val

        At 01:11 AM 8/22/02 +0000, you wrote:
        >Invasion of the Penis Snatchers
        >
        > From the Files of Fortean Slips
        >
        >by D. Trull
        >Enigma Editor
        >dtrull@...
        >
        >(Disclaimer: This special PG-13 Fortean Slip is guaranteed to be
        >delivered absolutely 100% free of cheap, hackneyed references to John
        >and Lorena Bobbitt. Except for this one.)
        >
        >Good old Sigmund Freud, history's most revered pervert, theorized that
        >the better part of a man's psychological makeup was predicated by a
        >secret primal fear of having his genitals removed. While it's
        >certainly a dreadworthy scenario, emasculation seems an unlikely
        >candidate as the chief determining factor of a guy's destiny. You've
        >got to wonder why Freud didn't focus on a more commonplace anxiety in
        >men's lives, like fear of the Internal Revenue Service, or fear of
        >getting too old to conceivably score with the Playmate of the Month.
        >After all, male organs don't just disappear by themselves.
        >
        >Right?
        >
        >Unfortunately, the answer is not an unequivocal "no." There are
        >disturbing reports from Africa about a sinister occult group, which
        >has supposedly been been using magical powers to make their victims'
        >private parts vanish. These evil bastards are locally known as the
        >penis snatchers.
        >
        >Said to be mostly Nigerian, they have struck in several towns along
        >the Atlantic coast from Cameroon to Nigeria. Witnesses claim that the
        >penis snatchers perpetrate their fiendish hex with no more physical
        >contact than a handshake. One 18-year-old casualty indicated that he
        >shook hands with a Nigerian, whom he thought was his friend, when "he
        >felt an electric-like current run through him, and a feeling that his
        >manhood had retreated into his stomach."
        >
        >Yee-ouch. Outrage in these areas has swelled to such a magnitude that
        >three accused penis snatchers have been lynched by furious mobs and
        >hanged. A number of other reputed members of the member-swiping gang
        >have been hospitalized with brutal injuries.
        >
        >Incidentally, doctors examining the victims reported that every one of
        >the allegedly snatched penises was in fact present and accounted for,
        >entirely intact. Does that mean that this brand of genitalia thievery
        >is a mercifully short-lived curse that's over before you even have to
        >pee? Or could it be that these guys are afflicted with a phenomenally
        >intense Freudian and Fortean conflict, and Mr. Happy's disappearing
        >act was totally in their heads?
        >
        >We bearers of the Y-chromosome can hopefully continue shaking
        >strangers' hands with impunity, because there is a medically
        >documented precedent for a type of psychosomatic Penis Snatcherism.
        >I'm not joking. This disorder is indigenous to eastern Asia, known in
        >Malaysia as koro ("turtle head") and in China as Shook Yang
        >("shrinking penis"). It is characterized by frightful delusions that
        >the penis is retracting into the body, never to be seen again. The
        >condition is thought to be triggered by a cultural fixation on the
        >importance of male reproductive prowess, and may be exacerbated by
        >feelings of guilt over impotence, masturbation or infidelity.
        >
        >You know, this sounds like a perfect plot line for a porno movie
        >ripoff called "The XXX-Files." Investigating paranormal sexual
        >phenomena for the FBI, skeptical agent Sullky and free-believing agent
        >Nailder encounter the most baffling case of their very smutty careers:
        >
        >Nailder: "I'm telling you, Sullky, there's got to be some kind of
        >black magic behind this. We've got reports coming out of Limbe, Tiko,
        >Muea and Batoke -- it was only a matter of time before the penis
        >snatchers struck on this continent."
        >
        >Sullky: "Penis snatchers? Nailder, you've obviously never heard of
        >Shook Yang, a psychogenic syndrome that reached epidemic proportions
        >in Singapore in 1968. Men with Shook Yang are so stricken with the
        >unfounded fear that their penises are vanishing into their abdominal
        >cavities, they resort to clamping the organ with strings and pins,
        >weighing it down with heavy hanging objects, or enlisting relatives to
        >grab onto it so it won't slip away."
        >
        >Nailder winces in dismay.
        >
        >Sullky: "In fact, a common treatment for Shook Yang is for the man's
        >wife to confine the organ to the safety of her mouth."
        >
        >Nailder: "Hmmm... Uh, Sullky, I just remembered: I shook hands with
        >one of those guys."
        >
        >Sources:The Electronic Telegraph; "Extraordinary Disorders of Human
        >Behavior," edited by Claude T. H. Friedmann and Robert A. Faguet,
        >Plenum Press, 1982. Special thanks to Ruffin Prevost.
        >
        >(c) Copyright 1996 ParaScope, Inc.
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >"There is no Religion Higher Than Truth"
        >To Learn more about The Universal Life Church of Jesus Christ of the New
        >Age, go to this web site
        >http://hometown.aol.com/gracewatcher/ulc.html
        >"There is noreligion higher than truth"
        >
        >
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