- I fled Him, down the nights and down the days;
I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him down the labyrinthine ways
Of my own mind; and in the midst of tears
I hid from Him, and under running laughter...Most of us know the story of the first Thanksgiving --
at least, we know the Pilgrim version. But how many
of us know the Indian viewpoint?
No, I'm not talking about some revisionist, politically
correct version of history...Weekend Quiz contains words
taken from the book "Devices
and Desires" by mystery writer
P.D. James. How good a word
sleuth are you in tracking down
the correct meanings?
1. pallid (adj.) - A: gloomy or sad. B: smooth and glowing.
C: lacking color. D: submissive...All of us, at one time or another, have experienced
the strange physiological reaction of zygomatic
stimulation and subsequent larynx strain...A new UNC grad was sent to the post office
to mail an important letter. A short time...What bird is the best weightlifter?His grandmother was a bank vice president, as of 1970. Quite an achievement for a woman in those times. Probably a relatively high-paying position, vice president of a bank.One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway
near UNC. When he turned onto the street at the end of
the ramp, he noticed someone at a chicken place getting
into his car...
- Why did the three little pigs leave home?Dear Professor Howdy,
Thank you so much for..."Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax
si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?"Nobody will ever win the Battle of the...Q. Why did the UNC student go outdoors with her purse open?Of all the words below from a recent movie,
how many do you know?
1. verbatim (adj.) - A: talkative. B: unusual. C: exceedingly
green. D: word for word.
2. chirrup (n.) - A: leather stirrup. B: cherry-flavored
cough syrup. C: chirp. D: warm breeze.
3. pince-nez (n.) - A: kind of candy............Which student was the guilty party???
Q. Why did the UNC student have tire marks on her back?A UNC professor with two badly burned ears went to
the emergency room for medical treatment.
"What happened" asked the doctor...A couple of UNC grads are hunters and are out in the
woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't
seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency
services...Match the words in the
left-hand column with
the correct definition
in the right-hand column.
1. puerile ........... A. Individuality
2. philomath ..... B. Any belief or doctrine that a
..................................person holds or maintains as true
3. galumph .......
- Making rounds one
morning, a doctor
points out an X-ray
to a group of UNC
medical students..."Don't worry, I can
stay out late tonight,"
Joe told his friend Bob.
"My wife's gone for
a two-week vacation...1) No matter how little or how much you use me,
you change me every month. What am I?
2) Dr. Howdy was out walking one day. He met his father-in-law's
only daughter's mother-in-law...We want this to be the greatest country ever. We want you to be the best you can be. We want everybody to be the best they can be. We want to get all the obstacles out of people's way. Freedom. Why is that a hard sell? Because it is.
Freedom did not win in this election. Freedom did not win.Woman's version:A salesman came to
UNC English prof's
office selling books.
The salesman goes
into his sales pitch
about...The operators of a rope tow in a popular ski area were
having trouble with...A civil servant is badly
hurt falling down the
stairs of the Post Office
in Atlanta. He is taken
to the hospital where...A UNC grad named Darla had
applied for a job and when
she returned home, her mother
asked how the interview went...
- A UNC grad spent all
day making his funny
money. At the end of
the day he realizes
he spent all his time
making $15 bills...A noted UNC Computer Professor
filled his car with gas at a self-
service gas station. After he had
paid and driven away, he realized
that he had left the gas cap on top
of his car. He stopped and looked
and, sure enough, it was lost...'Thought & Humor' is now completely GREEN
and environmentally friendly. We use no paper
which is ripped from beautiful live green trees
in pristine forest as both the N.Y. Times and
Time Magazine have done for years...Choose the meaning you think
is correct for each - Have fun!
1. sear (v.) - A: to insult. B: thirst. C: predict.
2. seer (n.) - A: elderly person. B: cooking utensil.
C: idealist. D: prophet.
3. dun (v.) - A: to soil. B: add to. C: demand payment.
D: find fault...Plays Consecutively - one after the other!Very Thankful to all the Brave Men & Women who have Served in our Military!
The Cost of WWII Aircraft - Men
The cost of doing business -- Given the odds shown by the following numbers,
those of us who survived in these planes can now appreciate just how 'lucky' we were!
Most Americans who were...
- - Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."
- Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
- "Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest...Dr. Willis finished examining Matilda and went
into the hallway to talk to her husband Bernie.
"I don't want to alarm you," he said to Bernie...Some golf clubs were having a drink in the bar
after a game. The bartender served all of them
but one and asked him...Q: Why did the UNC grad take his
wife to the pizza parlor while...Three kids are talking, and one says,
"Boy, my dad works twelve hours a
day to give me a nice home and good
food. My mom spends the whole day...
- Can you figure out the proper titles
to these seemingly Vulcan Christmas
1) Bleached Yule
2) Castaneous-colored Seed Vesicated in a Conflagration
3) Singular Yearning for the Twin Anterior Incisors
4) Righteous Darkness
5) Arrival Time: 2400 hrs - Weather: Cloudless
6) Loyal Followers...Want to test your Christmas knowledge?
Here is a quiz to test your knowledge of
Christmas traditions, popular culture, the
Bible, and other aspects of the holiday with
these simple questions. So put on your thinking
cap and take a tour. Enjoy yourself! Quiz your friends...Joy to the world! The Lord is come.
Let earth receive her King
Let every heart
Prepare Him room
And Saints and angels sing
And Saints and angels sing
And Saints and Saints and angels sing...Angels we have on heard high
Sweetly singing ore the plains
And the mountains in reply
Echoing their joyous strains!
Gloria in excelsis Deo
Gloria in excelsis Deo!
Come to Bethlehem and see
Christ whose birth the angels sing
Come adore on bended knee
Christ the Lord the newborn King...Christmas as seen by Atheist,
Agnostics & the ACLU!
Here's how Christians see
Christmas...O Come All Ye Faithful
Joyful and triumphant,
O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem.
Come and behold Him,
Born the King of Angels;
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord...WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People— What do you
expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
Car mechanics tell you the truth...
- Dear Professor Howdy,
I walked into a Blimpie's
near UNC with...There were these two UNC
grads out hiking when they
came upon an old...You can have me but cannot hold me...UNC student: I'm looking
for the number of a business.
Information: What's the name
of the business?Professor Howdy was recently escorted off
the UNC campus for causing a disturbance.
He went quietly...--1. After Lizzie Borden's infamous actions, she was executed
by the electric chair...
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