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***Thought & Humor*** - For The Discerning Mind - January 13, 2006 A.D. - Please forward to your Friends...

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  • Crazy Professor Howdy
    Congratulating a friend after her son and daughter got married within a month of each other, a woman asked, What kind of boy did your daughter marry?
    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 13, 2006
      Congratulating a friend after her son and daughter got married
      within a month of each other, a woman asked, "What kind of boy did
      your daughter marry?"

             Updated frequently during the day!!!

      Be sure & read the "Comments" after each blog joke -
      there's more funny stuff & letters...
      1) I alone am an intricate game  
               I and a labyrinth are one and the same  
               Add a letter and then I become  
               Astonished, amused, and perplexed to some  
               What am I?  
      2)  First think of a person who lives in disguise  
           Who lives in secrets and tells naught but lies  
           Next tell me what's always the last thing to mend  
           The middle of middle and the end of the end  
           And finally give me a sound often heard  
           During the search of a hard to find word  
           Now string them together and answer me this  
           Which creature would you be unwilling to kiss?  
      3) I am a fruity cereal that can be  
          known as artifices, antics, frauds,  
          hoax's, guiles, impostures, ruses,  
          ploys, stratagems, deceits, jests,  
           and jokes.  
          If you want me ALL for yourself,
          be sure not to eat me in the presence  
          of small furry mammals.  
      4) I'm called the Evening star,  
          or Morning star,  
          It depends on when I'm seen.  
          In the early 1960's  
          I was wearing blue jeans. 
      5) I contain faces of different colors  
             for fun they get mixed with one another  
             It's easy for them to hang outside their 'race'  
             but it's quite tricky to put them back  
             in their place  
             With time and patience it can be done  
             but to mix them up again is way more fun.  
      6) A truck driver went down a one-way street
          the wrong way in front of a police department
          without getting a ticket. How did he do this?  

      7)   I am tall and skinny, I can be rough or smooth.  
           My tears can change colors, yet I can not move.  
           My many arms can reach out, and I can be a danger.  
           But there are those who do not mind,  
           including chipmunks and some rangers.  
           You can see me everyday, if you bother to look my way.  
           Don't hesitate to come by, but first do you know:  
           What am I?  
      8) I walk, but have no legs. I sleep, but never dream. You can  
          rock me in a cradle, but I am not a baby and I can go around  
          the world faster than you can cross a room. What am I? 

      Check out this Blog:


      Updated frequently!!!
      Feel Down At The Top
           Some years ago, there was this movie called "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure."
      Someday my kids are going to make a movie about some of the great ideas I've had
      on our summer vacations. They'll call it "Dad's Excruciating Adventures." Like the day
      I woke everyone up at 3:00 A.M. to get the view from the top of the mountain. We were
      vacationing in Maine. And I had read that if you were at the top of Cadillac Mountain
      at daybreak, you would be one of the first Americans to see the sunrise that day. And
      how could we miss that thrill? Right?

          I got everyone up, stuffed a doughnut in their mouth so they wouldn't wake up the
      campground, bundled them into the car, assuring them all the time, "You're going to
      love this." Well, at dawn there we were with a handful of other adventurers - waiting for
      the sun to appear. And waiting. And waiting. The kids were turning increasingly hostile.
      We never saw the sun come up that morning - it was covered with clouds. We had made
      the valiant effort to get to the top of the mountain only to find the view there a big

          Maybe you know that feeling. You got somewhere you really wanted to go or you got
      someone you really wanted and the view has turned out to be disappointing. The ancient
      Jewish King, Solomon, knew that feeling. He was the wealthiest man of his generation.
      He records in the Biblical book Ecclesiastes how he tried every pleasure, every relationship,
      and every conquest he wanted.

          Here's how he describes the view from the top of his mountain. It's our word for today from
      the Word of God, Ecclesiastes 2:17. "So I hated life, because the work that is done under the
      sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind."

          There are plenty of modern Solomons - like a successful attorney I know of. He owns what
      he wants. He's respected in the community. He was planning a long trip with a private pilot in
      a small plane. Someone asked him if he was concerned about the plane crashing. He said,
      "I don't care if it does. What's the reason for living anyway?"

          So many people got what they dreamed of - the relationships, the possessions, and the
      pleasures only to find the view was a disappointment. Why? Because of what Solomon
      discovered. He said in Ecclesiastes 3:11, "God has set eternity in the hearts of men."
      Earth has nothing big enough to fill the eternal hole in our heart. That's why Jesus
      summed it up by asking, "What shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world and
      loses his own soul?"

          There are basically two categories of people; those who haven't got what they want
      and think that's why they don't have peace, and those who have gotten what they want
      and they know that there's no peace there. Enter the one the Bible calls the Prince of
      Peace - Jesus Christ - the one who said just before His death, "My peace I leave with you."

          The reason for your life is summed up in six Biblical words recorded in Colossians 1:16,
      "All things were created by Him and for Him." That's talking about Jesus. But we haven't lived
      for Him; we've pursued our own kingdom. And God has declared a death penalty for that sin
      of ours.

          From adolescence through adulthood, we keep thinking what we're looking for is just over
      that next hill. But no matter how many hills you've climbed, the peace and meaning wasn't there,
      was it? You need to climb one more hill - the one with that cross on the top where Jesus is dying
      for your sin so you can finally experience the God-relationship you were made for.

          If you're tired of climbing mountains to nowhere, come to that cross. Tell Jesus Christ you want
      to belong to Him, that He is your only hope. If you want that relationship with Him, I would love to
      help you begin that. We set it up at our website yoursforlife.net so that you can either read or hear
      a presentation that I've prepared - a brief one - of how you can be sure you belong to Jesus. You can
      call toll free at 877-741-1200.*

          Life is a series of disappointing views until we give our lives to the only One who can give it eternal
      meaning. Every other destination will leave you feeling hollow inside until you're home in the waiting
      arms of Jesus Christ.           - -  Ron Hutchcraft
      *Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.

      I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
      foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
      "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
      don't accept His claim to be God."

      That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
      merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
      not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
      on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
      or else he would be the Devil of Hell.

      You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
      the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
      You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
      Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
      Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
      nonsense about His being a great hum! an teacher. He has
      not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.

                -- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis


      Jesus In The Public Schools
      Religious Freedom Day
      In too many cases, Christian children in public school classrooms are being
      forced to act like atheists. After all, that is effectively what is happening
      when they are told not to talk about Jesus, not to sing about Jesus, and not to
      write about Jesus.

      A very small, but vocal, minority pound away at teachers and school officials,
      intimidating them into thinking that the public school must be a "religion-free

      Their attacks have resulted in the religious aspects of even Christmas being
      banned, Christian students silenced, and teachers censored. A climate of fear
      about religion surrounds too many schools.

      But you and I have a great opportunity to stop this discrimination against our
      children who want to express their faith at school. January 16 is Religious
      Freedom Day. And President Bush's special proclamation will ask schools to
      commemorate the day.

      While many public schools are denying students' rights to freely express their
      faith, the U.S. Department of Education has issued guidelines that clearly list
      and explain those rights. For example, students have the legal right to express
      their faith in their assignments; they can witness to their classmates; they can
      read their Bibles at school; and they can pray. But many teachers have never
      seen these guidelines and believe they cannot allow these or any other religious
      expressions in their classrooms.

      It is fitting that this year Martin Luther King Day is also celebrated on
      January 16. King's religious faith was the foundation of his fight for civil
      rights. And it was religious freedom in America that allowed him to express his
      faith and the dreadful evil and move the entire nation.

      King was explicit about Christianity's centrality in seeking justice through
      nonviolent protest. For example, he required that volunteers in the Birmingham
      campaign sign a commitment card pledging themselves to "meditate daily on the
      teachings and life of Jesus," "Walk and talk in the manner of love, for God is
      love," and "Pray daily to be used by God in order that all men might be free."

      While many people will commemorate Martin Luther King Day, very few people
      are even aware of the president's proclamation of Religious Freedom Day. As a
      result, Gateways to Better Education is leading a national awareness campaign
      for Religious Freedom Day, and I encourage you to get behind it. Gateways is an
      organization helping public schools teach Judeo-Christian history, thought, and
      values. It has developed ReligiousFreedomDay.com as a special website to give
      you everything you need to commemorate the day in your church, your home, and
      your school.

      This year, you can bring more freedom to your public school by asking your
      children's teachers to join the president in commemorating Religious Freedom
      Day with their students and to read regulations issued by the Department of
      Education. And in your church on Sunday, January 15, distribute information
      on students' religious liberties. The law is on our side.

      Gateways to Better Education has prepared a fact sheet that is available by
      calling us here at BreakPoint (1-877-322-5527*) or by visiting our website.

      This year, at the same time they commemorate Martin Luther King Day, public
      schools can promote civil liberties and stop discrimination against children of
      faith by also commemorating Religious Freedom Day. You need to set them
      straight, just as King set us straight a generation ago. 
        BREAKPOINT with Charles Colson & Mark Earley

      *Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.
      This Present Moment
      We are profoundly unaware of the present. That is, the here and now, the place that we always are,
      is the place that we are least likely to see for what it fully is. Blaise Pascal, though living four
      centuries ago, keenly diagnosed this human condition. In his work, Pensees, meaning "thoughts,"
      he masterfully articulates our seeming lack of interest in the present. Writes Pascal,

      Let each one examine his thoughts, and he will find them all occupied with the past and the future.
      We scarcely ever think of the present; and if we think of it, it is only to take light from it to arrange
      the future. The present is never our end. The past and the present are our means; the future alone
      is our end. So we never live, but we hope to live; and, as we are always preparing to be happy, it
      is inevitable we should never be so.

      That is a powerful proclamation, isn't it? The present is never our end. If this is true, Pascal's dour
      thought is worth examining. Though we hope and toil for life, we never really live. And indeed,
      looking back many of us can recall a squandered time, a time we wish we were more fully attentive,
      more fully present. Truly, the now of life is far more significant than we often realize.

      In the play Our Town, Thornton Wilder brilliantly depicts the magnitude of the present, the fullness
      of each moment amidst the fleeting nature of time in our lives. Emily, a young mother who died in
      childbirth, is given the opportunity to go back and observe a single day in her life. She is advised
      to choose an "ordinary" day, for even the least important day will be important enough, the dead
      remind her. True enough, Emily chooses a day and quickly finds herself overwhelmed by it. Her
      ensuing lines are fascinating.

      "I can't go on. It goes so fast… I didn't realize. So all that was going on and we never noticed.
      Take me back—up the hill—to my grave. But first: Wait! One more look."

      "Goodbye, Goodbye, world… Mama and Papa. Goodbye clocks ticking… and Mama's sunflowers.
      And food and coffee. And new-ironed dresses and hot baths… and sleeping and waking up. Oh,
      earth, you're too wonderful for anybody to realize you."

      Upon returning Emily wonders if anyone ever realizes life while they live it—life as it is, "every,
      every minute." The response she receives is pointed. "No… The saints and poets, maybe they
      do some." (Footnote 1: As quoted by Barry Morrow in Heaven Observed (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 2001), 321.)

      The image is powerful and the lesson clear. And where this is a fitting reminder to seize each day,
      we should ask why the present brims with significance, lest it lead us to the Epicurean's philosophy,
      observed by King Solomon, cautioned against by Jesus, noted by Dave Matthews, and largely embraced
      today: Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die. (Footnote 2: Ecclesiastes 8:15, Luke 12:13-21) It
      is written on our hearts that the present holds much more still.

      C.S. Lewis once asked, "Where, except in the present, can the Eternal be met?" This is why the present
      is so profoundly important. You see, God is always nearest to us "now." Where Jesus says, "Follow me."
      Where He pleads, "Come to me," there is urgency and immediacy in his voice. Now is where He asks us
      to draw near; now is when we must decide to follow or not to follow; now is where we rejoice in this day
      that He hath made. So indeed, seize the day, for the promises of the One who came in the fullness of
      time are boldly written upon every moment.

                             Jill Carattini
      "A Slice of Infinity" is aimed at reaching into the culture with words of
      challenge, words of truth, and words of hope. If you know of others who
      would enjoy receiving "A Slice of Infinity" in their email box each day,
      tell them to
      ple! ase call 1-877-88SLICE (1-877-887-5423).

      "Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider
      well the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ
      which is eternal life (John 17:3)." 
         - - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643

       "All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according
      to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the
      fountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties
      of religion, both in public and secret."
       - - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter


         (Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')


      This government site offers access to historic documents.
      View the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.
      'Thought & Humor' -  often polemical but
      never tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.
      Please note: If you see a UNC student or liberal reading 'Thought & Humor',
      please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They usually get it backwards.......

      God designed humans to want to believe in something.
      That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.
      Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the God
      of the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believe
      in everything -- including Little Green Men.
                   - - Chuck Colson
      Dear Howdy,
      Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate
      for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...
      it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we
      all need...please keep up the great works!!!
      Type atcha later...
      God bless you,
      Phil H
      [God] has showed you, O man, what is good.
      And what does the Lord require of you? To
      act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly
      with your God.  --Micah 6:8
      Dear Howdy, Indeed I am a faithful Tarheel*, having both
      MA and Ph.D.

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