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***Thought & Humor*** - Nov. 30, 2005 - Please Forward To Your Many Friends - Merry CHRISTmas to Target, Kroger, Office Max, Walgreens, Sears, Staples, Lowe's, J.C. Penney, Dell & Best Buy (they've banned the greeting) - H.B. Abby

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  • Dr. Howdy
    I once went with friends to eat at the fanciest restaurant in Chapel Hill. One friend was about halfway through his meal when he took a hard look at the
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 30 6:23 AM
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      I once went with friends to eat at the fanciest restaurant
      in Chapel Hill. One friend was about halfway through his
      meal when he took a hard look at the potato, called the
      waitress over and said, "This potato is bad!"
         Updated frequently during the day!!!                                 

      1) Two people are talking on the phone
      long distance. One is in an East Coast
      state of the U.S., the other is in a West
      Coast state of the U.S. The first asks
      the other, "What time is it?" He hears
      the answer and says, "That's funny. It's
      the same time here!" Neither one of them
      were mistaken about the time. How is this

      2) What work is it that the faster you work,
          the longer it is before you're done,
          and the slower you work,
          the sooner you're finished?

      3) With pointed fangs it sits and waits,
           With piercing force its doles out fate,
           Over bloodless victims proclaiming its might,
           Eternally joining in a single bite.
           What am I?


      Check out this Blog:


      Updated frequently!!!
      Handling The
       When five-year-old Jeremy started school, it was more than he bargained for.
      It was the second morning of his kindergarten experience. Mom got Jeremy
      up and started helping him get ready. Then came his question, "Do I have to
      go back?" Oops! He wasn't counting on an encore. His rationale, "Well, I already
      went yesterday." His mother told us, "I didn't have the heart to tell him there's
      twelve more years of this!" Well, he went off to day two, of year one, of twelve
      more years!

        I think Jeremy was feeling overwhelmed, and he sure would have sunk if his
      mother had tried to explain the educational marathon he has ahead. He has no
      idea. But Jeremy's going to make it. Hey, look, you did. I did. Not by thinking
      about twelve years, but by doing that school thing one day at a time.

          You've probably gotten over the idea of school being overwhelming, but little
      Jeremy could never guess that life is a series of challenges that seem overwhelming.
      School's the least of it. Maybe you're facing one of those right now and it looks huge;
      a bombardment of responsibilities and it's too much; stressful deadlines, trying to
      raise your child, trying to make your marriage work, facing a long medical marathon,
      digging out of that financial pit, or even trying to live your life for Jesus Christ.

          Our word for today from the Word of God is from Deuteronomy 7:17. I think it will help.
      To God's ancient people He says, "You may say to yourselves, these nations are stronger
      than we are. How can we drive them out? But do not be afraid." They're facing, as they
      entered the Promised Land, huge walled cities and barbaric tribes - overwhelming obstacles,
      overwhelming challenges. Verse 22 says, "Do not be terrified by them for the Lord your God
      is among you, and He's a great and awesome God. The Lord your God will drive out those
      nations before you, little by little." What hope-giving words! God will win this one with you
      and for you, but not in one great victory. Jeremy won't be able to get his education cared
      for in one day, or in one week. It's going to be little by little. And that's God's plan for you
      to handle the overwhelming - little by little.

          Break it into daily chunks - manageable pieces. Have a good day. Let Jesus be the Lord
      of the undone at the end of that day. Remember, daily is how He promised He would give
      you His strength. He said, "Your strength will equal your days." There is no strength for
      Friday when it's Thursday. You've only got Thursday's strength. You run ahead of your
      strength and you'll sink.

          Maybe you've been wondering how you'll ever beat some sin that's been beating you,
      or how you can carry out your desire to dedicate your whole life to Jesus. Win for one day.
      You let Jesus be the Lord of that weakness for this one day. Tomorrow you have another
      twenty-four hour victory. And don't try to dedicate your life to Jesus unless you do it by
      dedicating each new day. You give Him a day, and then another day, and then the day after
      that. He'll make a life out of it. The Christian life is the sum total of a thousand little victories
      a day at a time.

          Just like little Jeremy going to school. He doesn't have to worry, and you don't have to
      worry about all those months and all those years ahead. The secret of handling the over -
      whelming is to do it little by little. Remember, this is the day the Lord has made!          
                                                            - -  Ron Hutchcraft

      I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
      foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
      "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
      don't accept His claim to be God."

      That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
      merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
      not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
      on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
      or else he would be the Devil of Hell.

      You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
      the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
      You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
      Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
      Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
      nonsense about His being a great hum! an teacher. He has
      not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.

                -- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis


      Wrong Track Blues
      Politics, Purpose, 
      & Postmodernity

      By at least a two-to-one margin, Americans think that the country is headed in
      the wrong direction. To put these numbers into perspective, in the aftermath of
      September 11, Americans, by a six-to-one margin, thought that we were headed
      in the right direction.

      What's behind this extreme shift? Nobody likes the war much -- I understand
      that. But in many respects, it has gone very well, and we have had no major
      terrorist attack in America since September 11. It's fair to say that
      something's going right in the war on terrorism.

      The same can be said about the economy: Unemployment is at 5 percent, and
      inflation is under 3 percent. During the Nixon years, when I was in the White
      we would have stood on our heads for hours on end for those kinds of
      numbers. While gas prices have been very high, they have begun to come back
      down. In many respects, the economic news is better than it was four years ago.

      The gloom and doom can't be the product of political scandal and corruption,
      either. Without meaning to sound cynical, none of these things is particularly
      new to Washington.

      So why are people so unhappy and dissatisfied? The answer lies in something
      that not even peace and prosperity can provide: a sense of meaning and purpose
      in life. If you look at the research, you will see that spiritual hunger and
      spiritual searching are at an all-time high.

      The problem is that the dominant postmodern and naturalistic worldviews can't
      provide answers to what people need most. A world in which every autonomous
      self is free to do what he or she wants may be fun for a season, but it can't satisfy
      over the long or even medium haul.

      For starters, other people's ideas of "fun" may interfere with yours. In a world
      where nearly everything is permitted, strife and conflict are inevitable. The
      postmodern worldview leaves us with no satisfying way to resolve conflicts.

      On the contrary, it drives us further apart by denying that a shared sense of
      meaning and purpose are possible. But what it can't deny is that people are
      "wired to connect" with one another. Studies like those I have used in my new
      book, THE GOOD LIFE, show that we are at our very best, both personally and
      collectively, when we share more than office space and parking lots.

      Which brings me back to the post-September 11 polling results. For a time after
      the attacks, we overcame our isolation, and we shared a common purpose, one
      that prompted many people to connect with other people. We have since returned
      to business as usual, and the result is a profound discontent in the midst of plenty.

      While this discontent is bad news for the country, it ought to be very good news
      for the Church. If we can escape our self-absorbed isolation, we have something
      we can offer people: It is a better way to live -- one that has meaning and purpose.

      That's why I wrote the book THE GOOD LIFE, in fact. The unease reflected in the
      polls does not come from politics; it comes from being told that there is no
      meaning or purpose in life. People know better, and they are searching for it,
      and they are not finding answers in our culture. That's what's making them
      uneasy, but it's up to the Church -- you and I -- to point them in the right
      direction, to a worldview that is true and livable.
           BREAKPOINT with Charles Colson

      Romancing Stones
      Driving to work one day, a commercial on the radio offered the compelling
      thought of "recess time" for adults.  Immediately memories of school came
      to my mind-the daily struggles of learning and discipline, math and
      reading, tests and exercises.  Was the strain of school any different
      from the chores and deadlines that bombard you today, the advertiser
      seemed to ask.  And yet, the refreshing reward of afternoon free time
      and recess-where has that gone?  The commercial's invitation was
      actually to a steakhouse that promised the delight of recess for those
      craving a break, though it prompted the thoughts of much more.  The
      nostalgic use of my own memory was powerfully utilized to urge me
      not to miss out on life itself-via missing out on recess, store-bought
      relaxation, and steak. 

      The world of advertising continues to package worldviews and lifestyles
      for us.  We are led to believe that if we buy this product, experience
      this item, or go to this place in this vehicle, then we will really live.

      I don't doubt that many people would claim to have been satisfied by
      pursuing materialism as a way of life; nonetheless, we have an abundance
      of evidence clearly stating the futility of pursuing these ends.  If we
      are purely material beings with our lives confined to the years we have on
      earth, then perhaps living for pleasure might be a legitimate goal.  Yet it
      seems that the human spirit cannot be reduced to mere matter.  Such
      a contrast is seen in the movie Chariots of Fire when the vision of
      life modeled by Harold Abrams (who lives for success in this world alone)
      is set in sharp relief by Eric Liddel (who runs for the glory of God and
      in running feels God's delight).  In our best moments, we recognize that
      we are somehow destined for higher, greater, more enduring things. 

      The Christian message introduces a story that locates us in history,
      defines who and what we are, and spells out the conditions and challenges
      to having a true life under the guidance of the living God.  One writer
      speaks of this story as the "sacred romance" in which we are created for
      intimacy and adventure.  It is a love story, in which humanity is pursued
      by the passionate love of God.  But as in all good love stories, the
      sub-plot introduces the problem of other loves and other lovers. 

      Across time and culture, the same story is repeated.  As we turn the
      limited and temporal pleasures of time into objects that will give us a
      deeper or more lasting quality of life, we discover again and again we are
      let down. Hundreds of years ago the prophet Hosea described a people who
      eat but never have enough, who drink but never have their fill, and who
      pray to gods who do not save.  "They have deserted the LORD to give
      themselves to prostitution, to old wine and new, which take away the
      understanding of my people.  They consult a wooden idol and are answered
      by a stick of wood.  A spirit of prostitution leads them astray; they are
      unfaithful to their God" (Hosea 4:10-12).  A people following after false
      loves are lost and foolish.

      If we have been made by God and for God, and if knowing Him and following
      Him is the essence of life, then any other kind of life is a departure
      from our original design and thus, by definition, can never fully satisfy
      us.  A finite love can never touch our souls.  An object that had to be
      created itself will never be able to reach beyond creation with hope or

      The biblical story reminds us that we are meant to flourish and function
      as human beings in the context of a love story, in the framework of a
      right relationship with God through Jesus Christ.  "Even now," declares
      the LORD, "return to me with all your heart. Return to the LORD your God,
      for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love"
      (Joel 2:13-14).  Even now, He who became flesh that life could dwell among
      us seeks your will, your heart, your all.   
                Stuart McAllister
      "A Slice of Infinity" is aimed at reaching into the culture with words of
      challenge, words of truth, and words of hope. If you know of others who
      would enjoy receiving "A Slice of Infinity" in their email box each day,
      tell them to
      ple! ase call 1-877-88SLICE (1-877-887-5423).
      "Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider
      well the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ
      which is eternal life (John 17:3)." 
         - - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643

       "All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according
      to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the
      fountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties
      of religion, both in public and secret."
       - - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter


         (Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')


      This government site offers access to historic documents.
      View the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.
      'Thought & Humor' -  often polemical but
      never tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.
      Please note: If you see a UNC student or liberal reading 'Thought & Humor',
      please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They usually get it backwards.......

      God designed humans to want to believe in something.
      That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.
      Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the God
      of the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believe
      in everything -- including Little Green Men.
                   - - Chuck Colson
      Dear Howdy,
      Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate
      for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...
      it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we
      all need...please keep up the great works!!!
      Type atcha later...
      God bless you,
      Phil H
      *The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact
      representation of His being, sustaining all things by His
      powerful word. After He had provided purification for sins,
      He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven.
          --Hebrews 1
      Dear Howdy, Indeed I am a faithful Tarheel*, having both
      MA and Ph.D. from their fine chemistry department.
      But that doesn't keep me from getting a great kick out
      of the humor propagated by what appears to me to be
      a pack of wolves!!**

      sent to me by a friend,  so I really didn't "hear about
      you" at all, and still haven't. All I know is what has
      come in the two issues of the Newsletter I have
      seen. The best to you.

      S. P.

      *Another name for UNC.
      ** UNC's archrival - NCSU.


      "I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
      All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
      us through this book."        -- President Abraham Lincoln

      "For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill. 
      The eyes of all people are upon us.  So that if we shall deal
      falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and
      so cause Him to withdraw! his present help from us, we
      shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world."
      --John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630 
      "It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and
      the Bible." - President George Washington

      "The Bible is no mere book, but a Living Creature, with a
      power that conquers all that oppose it." - Napoleon

      "That Book accounts for the supremacy of England."
      - Queen Victoria

      "If there is anything in my thought or style to commend ,
      the credit is due my parents for instilling in me an early
      love of the Scriptures. If we abide by the principals taught
      in the Bible, our country will go on prospering and to prosper;
      but if we and our posterity neglect its instructions and authority,
      no man can tell how sudden a catastrophe may overwhelm us and
      bury all our glory in profound obscurity." - Daniel Webster 
      (Founding Father)

      "The Bible is worth all other books which have ever been printed."
      - Patrick Henry   (original member of the Continental Congress)

      "The Bible is the anchor of our liberties." -  President U.S. Grant

      "It is impossible to enslave mentally or socially a Bible-reading people.
      The principals of the Bible are the groundwork of human freedom."
      - Horace Greeley  (Editor)

      "That Book is the rock on which our Republic rests." - President Andrew Jackson

      "In all my perplexities and distresses, the Bible has never failed to give me
      light and strength." - Gen. Robert E. Lee

      "Bible reading is an education in itself." - Lord Tennyson (Poet)

      "So great is my veneration for the Bible that the earlier my children begin
      to read it the more confident will be my hope that they will prove useful
      citizens of their country and respectable members of society. I have for
      many years made it a practice to read through the Bible once every year."
      - President John Quincy Adams

      "The existence of the Bible, as a Book for the people, is the greatest
      benefit which the human race has ever experienced. Every attempt to
      belittle it is a crime against humanity." - Immanuel Kant (Philosopher)

      "The New Testament is the very best Book that ever or ever will be
      known in the world." - Charles Dickens (Author)

      "All human discoveries seem to be made only for the purpose of
      confirming more and more strongly the truths contained in the
      Sacred Scriptures." - Sir William Herschel (Astronomer)

      "There are more sure marks of authenticity in the Bible than in
      any profane history." - Sir Isaac Newton (Scientist)

      "Let mental culture go on advancing, let the natural sciences
      progress in even greater extent and depth, and the human
      mind widen itself as much as it desires; beyond the elevation
      and moral culture of Christianity, as it shines forth in the Gospels,
      it will not go." - Goethe (Author)

      "I have known ninety-five of the world's great men in my time,
      and of these eight-seven were followers of the Bible. The Bible
      is stamped with a Specialty of Origin, and an immeasurable
      distance separates it from all competitors."
      - W.E. Gladstone (Prime Minister)

      "Whatever merit there is in anything that I have written is simply
      due to the fact that when I was a chile my mother daily read me
      a part of the Bible and daily made me learn a part of it by heart."
      - John Ruskin (art critic and social commentator)

      "The Bible has been the Magna Charta of the poor and oppressed.
      The human race is not in a position to dispense with it." - Thomas
      Huxley (Author & Scientist)

      "The whole hope of human progress is suspended on the ever
      growing influence of the Bible." - W.H. Seward (Secretary of State)

      "America was born a Christian nation. America was born
      to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness,
      which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures.
      Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal
      of this great book of revelations. That if they would see
      America free and pure they will make their own spirits
      free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit."
      --President Woodrow Wilson
      For Christians, the life and death of Jesus are the ultimate
      expressions of love, and the supreme demonstrations of
      God's mercy, faithfulness, and redemption. Since Christ's
      miraculous Resurrection on Easter, more than 2,000 years
      ago, Christians have expressed joy and gratitude for this
      wondrous sacrifice and for God's promise of freedom for
      the oppressed, healing for the brokenhearted, and salvation.
            --President George W. Bush

      "It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this
      great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians;
      not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ.  For this
      very  reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum,
      prosperity, and freedom of worship here." 
      --Patrick Henry  (
      original member of the Continental Congress)

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