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***Thought & Humor*** - Merry Christmas - Please forward to your friends... - December 13, 2005 A.D.

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  • Silly Howdy
    When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. Good heavens, he said, what is this?
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 13, 2005
      When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought
      the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed.

      "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"
       Updated frequently during the day!!!

      A lawyer enters a bank as a robber is making his
      getaway. Noticing that the customers have their
      faces buried in the floor, and the tellers have their
      hands in the air, the lawyer asks what's going on.
      As the bank manager dials the police department
      he shouts, "That man just walked out of here with
      a million dollars!"  

               Don't miss this Movie!!!
                            It's #1!!!
      1) A Train enters a tunnel at 7 o'clock, another train enters
      the exact same tunnel, also at 7 o'clock on the same day.
      The tunnel only has one track, and no other means for the
      trains to pass, around, over, or under. However both trains
      made it to the other end of the tunnel untouched. How could
      this be?
      2) When you walk through the front door, you are in
      the back. What is it?
      3) What is full of holes, but can still hold water?
      4)  Mississippi is behind the green glass door, but river
      is not. Bottle is behind the green glass door, but jug
      is not. Heel is behind the green glass door, but shoe
      is not. What's the pattern?

      Check out this Blog:


      Updated frequently!!!
      The Reason You
      May Be Lost
              Driving in major urban areas of America can be a challenge -
      especially if you haven't done much of it. But my ministry team
      member was doing a good job of navigating the Chicago area,
      driving me to a number of locations where I was speaking. In
      one case, he was following our local host who was leading us
      to a place where we had never been. Honestly, we had no clue
      where we were going without him. I got to telling my driver one
      of my many stories, and he even seemed to be enjoying it. We
      were in the left lane, and suddenly a car came up behind us in
      the right lane, flashing his lights. Then he pulled up next to us,
      waving his arm out the window. It was our host. Apparently, we
      hadn't been following him for quite a while. He led us in a daring -
      maybe scary is the word - U-turn to try to get us where we were
      supposed to be.

             I can tell you why we were lost. We were running ahead of the
      one we were supposed to be following. That may be why you're not
      ending up where you're supposed to. You're running ahead of God -
      who you're supposed to be following. Obviously, you can't be following
      Him if you're getting ahead of Him.

          By the way, we didn't even realize we were headed the wrong direction.
      We would have eventually, but we would have been farther off course and
      it would have been harder to get back on track. You may not even realize
      that you've left your leader and you're proceeding on your own right now -
      in the wrong direction. You will eventually, when it's even harder to get
      back to where you're supposed to be.

          Sadly, running ahead of God and ending up in a very wrong place is
      nothing new. The Bible gives us one revealing picture of it in Acts 7,
      beginning with verse 23. It's our word for today from the Word of God.
      The Bible says, "When Moses was forty years old, he decided to visit
      his fellow Israelites." Now, Moses is a Jewish boy who was providentially
      raised in the home of the Egyptian Pharaoh as part of the royal family.
      The Bible goes on: "He saw one of them being mistreated by an Egyptian,
      so he went to his defense and avenged him by killing the Egyptian. Moses
      thought that his own people would realize that God was using him to rescue
      them, but they did not." Instead, this attempt to be a leader for his people
      actually costs Moses their respect and forces him to flee Egypt for forty
      years in the wilderness.

          Actually, Moses had the right idea - he was supposed to be the deliverer
      for his people. But it wasn't God's time and it wasn't God's way. Moses ran
      ahead of the One he should have been following - and the result was disastrous.
      That may be where you'reheaded because you have not waited for your leader.
      Abraham and Sarah couldn't wait for God to give them their promised son in
      old age, so they figured out their own plan and started so much heartache.
      Over and over, God's children try to make it happen, and instead they just
      make a mess.

          Could it be that you haven't been keeping your eyes on the One that you're
      supposed to be following? That you're running ahead of Jesus, trying to hurry
      things up - trying to make things happen? Maybe you didn't mean to run ahead
      of your Lord, but you have - and you're lost and getting "loster," whether you
      realize it or not. But right now, He's pulling up beside you. He's waving you
      away from the wrong away you're going; waving you back to going where
      He's going. Keep your eyes on your leader, not your goal. Stay close to
      Jesus. Be patient and go at His pace, in His time. It's actually the fastest
      way to get where your life is meant to be.            - -  Ron Hutchcraft

      I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
      foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
      "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
      don't accept His claim to be God."

      That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
      merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
      not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
      on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
      or else he would be the Devil of Hell.

      You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
      the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
      You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
      Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
      Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
      nonsense about His being a great hum! an teacher. He has
      not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.

                -- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis


      THE LION,

      With the release of the blockbuster film THE LION, THE WITCH, AND THE WARDROBE,
      C. S. Lewis is once again drawing the world's attention. Of course, among
      Christians, Lewis's stock has never gone down. For at least half a century,
      his works have been inspiring the faithful and drawing the skeptical to
      Christianity. As I have recounted many times, his book MERE CHRISTIANITY
      was instrumental in my own conversion.

      Even many secularists have recognized the quality of Lewis's work in such books
      not many consider him one of our culture's major writers. But now that Lewis has
      come back into the limelight, people are taking a fresh look at the quiet-living
      Oxford professor and writer, trying to figure out just what Christians find so
      attractive about him.

      After all, there are plenty of gifted writers out there who never earn the kind
      of love, loyalty, and admiration that Lewis receives from so many readers. His
      devout faith, brilliant use of logic, and humility are rare and precious
      qualities. But what really makes him so compelling is his ability to blend
      reason and imagination in his works. As he wrote, "For me, reason is the natural
      organ of truth, and imagination is the organ of understanding." He is right. The
      imagination sees what the mind might take only to be as abstract truth. So
      Christians and non-Christians alike can appreciate both Lewis's endlessly
      creative imagination, and the way he grounded even his works of fantasy in
      absolute truth.

      This is why you do not have to be a Christian to enjoy THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA.
      Generations of children have loved the books whether they fully understood their
      religious significance or not. The movie, like the books, is for everyone. But
      the film, again like the book, is far richer and more meaningful if one grasps
      the Christian symbolism that pervades it.

      Lewis never intended the Narnia books to be an evangelical tool. But he did hope
      that they would show children the beauty and power of Christianity in a fresh
      light, rather than burdening them with the stale, as he put it, "stained glass
      and Sunday school associations" that could inadvertently "freeze feelings."
      At a time when, as the newspaper GUARDIAN reports, "Forty-three percent
      of people in Britain [can't] say what Easter celebrate[s]," the need for such
      fresh approaches to faith is more urgent than ever.

      Whatever audiences may make of the film, we Christians have an unusual
      opportunity right now. The limelight is notoriously fleeting, and Lewis knew
      that all too well. He once wrote, "To move with the times is, of course, to go
      where all times go." His refusal to "move with the times" is in part what gave
      his work its timeless quality.

      But for the moment at least, Lewis and his work are drawing worldwide attention,
      which gives us Christians a great opportunity. Take your friends to THE LION,
      THE WITCH, AND THE WARDROBE, explain the Christian message it portrays,
      and then give them a copy of one of Lewis's books. A list is available on our website),
      or we will send you a copy if you call us (1-877-322-5527). My choice, which
      comes as no surprise to anyone, is MERE CHRISTIANITY -- it might change
      their lives, just as it did mine.            BREAKPOINT with Charles Colson

      The Silver Chair -

      C.S. Lewis, in one little episode from his book The Silver Chair
      illustrates God’s invitation and our resistance.  Aslan, the lion is
      representative of Christ and Jill one of us.
      This is the first time they meet. Listen:
      When Jill stopped, she found she was dreadfully thirsty… She listened
      carefully and felt almost sure she heard  the sound of running water.
      Jill…looked around her very carefully.  There was no sign of the Lion; so
      she plucked up her courage to… look for that running water.
      …she came to an open glade and saw the stream, bright as glass… [A]lthough
      the sight of the water made her feel ten times thirstier than before, she
      didn’t rush forward and drink.  She stood still as if she had been turned
      into a stone, with her mouth wide open.  And she had a very good reason:
      just this side of the stream lay the Lion…
      “Are you not thirsty?” said the Lion.
      “I’m dying of thirst,” said Jill.
      “Then drink,” said the Lion.
      “May I—could I—would you mind going away while I do?” said Jill.
      The Lion answered this only by a look and a very low growl.  And as Jill
      gazed at its motionless bulk, she realized that she might as well have
      asked the whole mountain to move aside for her convenience.
      The delicious rippling noise of the stream was driving her nearly frantic.
      “Will you promise not to—do anything to me, if I do come?” said Jill.
      “I make no promise,” said the Lion.
      Jill was so thirsty now that, without noticing it, she had come a step
      “Do you eat girls?” she said.
      “I have swallowed up girls and boys, women and men, kings and emperors,
      cities and realms,” said the Lion.
      “I daren’t come and drink,” said Jill.
      “Then you will die of thirst,” said the Lion.
      “Oh dear!” said Jill, coming another step nearer.  “I suppose I must go and
      look for another stream then.”
      “There is no other stream,” said the Lion.
      What a powerful illustration this is.  We thirst for God.  Christ invites
      us to come and be filled by Him.  Yet, fearful of the risk we turn away
      from Him, still thirsty.
      GK Chesterton said it well: Faith and love are apt to be spasmodic in the
      best of minds.  Men and women live on the brink of mysteries and harmonies
      into which they never enter and with their hand on the doorlatch they die
      Ravi Zacharias

      "A Slice of Infinity" is aimed at reaching into the culture with words of
      challenge, words of truth, and words of hope. If you know of others who
      would enjoy receiving "A Slice of Infinity" in their email box each day,
      tell them to
      ple! ase call 1-877-88SLICE (1-877-887-5423).

      "Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider
      well the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ
      which is eternal life (John 17:3)." 
         - - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643

       "All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according
      to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the
      fountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties
      of religion, both in public and secret."
       - - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter


         (Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')


      This government site offers access to historic documents.
      View the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.
      'Thought & Humor' -  often polemical but
      never tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.
      Please note: If you see a UNC student or liberal reading 'Thought & Humor',
      please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They usually get it backwards.......

      God designed humans to want to believe in something.
      That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.
      Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the God
      of the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believe
      in everything -- including Little Green Men.
                   - - Chuck Colson
      Dear Howdy,
      Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate
      for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...
      it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we
      all need...please keep up the great works!!!
      Type atcha later...
      God bless you,
      Phil H
      *The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact
      representation of His being, sustaining all things by His
      powerful word. After He had provided purification for sins,
      He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven.
          --Hebrews 1
      Dear Howdy, Indeed I am a faithful Tarheel*, having both
      MA and Ph.D. from their fine chemistry department.
      But that doesn't keep me from getting a great kick out
      of the humor propagated by what appears to me to be
      a pack of wolves!!**

      sent to me by a friend,  so I really didn't "hear about
      you" at all, and still haven't. All I know is what has
      come in the two issues of the Newsletter I have
      seen. The best to you.

      S. P.

      *Another name for UNC.
      ** UNC's archrival - NCSU.


      "I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
      All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated t

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