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  • waleao@aol.com
    Heck since I seem to piss many people off I thought I would add to it this morning. Ed :o) ... Sunset Red 01 and life is a smooth ride. [Non-text portions
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 10, 2003
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      Heck since I seem to piss many people off I thought I would add to it this
      morning. Ed :o)

      Something to offend everyone:
      > >
      > >1) What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
      > >Juan on Juan.
      > >
      > >2) What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
      > >The position of the dirt bag.
      > >
      > >3) Why is divorce so expensive?
      > >Because it's worth it.
      > >
      > >4) What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
      > >One US leader.
      > >
      > >5) What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts.
      > >
      > >6) Why is air a lot like sex?
      > >Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
      > >
      > >7) Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely?
      > >Because Janet Reno is her real father.
      > >
      > >8) What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a
      > >room together? 100 people who don't do dick.
      > >
      > >9) How did the tugboat get AIDs?
      > >It was rear-ended by a ferry.
      > >
      > >10) Define "Egghead:"
      > >What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty
      > >
      > >11) What do you call a smart blonde?
      > >A golden retriever.
      > >
      > >12) What do attorneys use for birth control?
      > >Their personalities.
      > >
      > >13) What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
      > >45 lbs.
      > >
      > >14) What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
      > >45 minutes.
      > >
      > >15) How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
      > >None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
      > >
      > >16) What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
      > >Through his chest with a sharp knife.
      > >
      > >17)Why do men want to marry virgins?
      > >They can't stand criticism.
      > >
      > >18) Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
      > >and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
      > >
      > >19) What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a
      > >year, the dog is still excited to see you.
      > >
      > >20) What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The
      > >same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
      > >
      > >21) A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has
      > >the biggest boobs? The blonde, because she's 18.
      > >
      > >22) Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
      > >Because they have cotton balls.
      > >
      > >23) What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
      > >A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
      > >
      > >24) What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are
      > >you sure it's mine?"
      > >
      > >25) What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Beer Nuts
      > >are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
      > >
      > >26) Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
      > >Mace will do that to you.
      > >
      > >27) Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
      > >Everyone has the same DNA.
      > >
      > >28) Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
      > >Breasts don't have eyes.
      > >
      > >29) Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
      > >He walks around saying "Yo."
      > >
      > >30) Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car
      > >only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
      > >Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
      > >
      > >31) What's the Cuban National Anthem?
      > >"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
      > >
      > >32. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
      > >A different bar.
      > >
      > >33. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
      > >They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
      > >
      > >34. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
      > >other? A speech impediment.
      > >
      > >35. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
      > >half-mast? They're hiring.
      > >
      > >36. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A
      > >southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
      > >along with "a recipe".
      > >
      > >37. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
      > >Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell*BINGO*!
      > >
      > >38. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
      > >fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern
      > >fairytale begins > "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
      > >
      > >39. My, my, how times have changed. Years ago...When 100 white men
      > >chased one black man, we called it the Ku Klux Klan. Today they call it
      > >the PGA TOUR.
      > >
      > >40. Why is there no Disneyland in China?
      > >No one's tall enough to go on the good rides!
      >


      Sunset Red "01" and life is a smooth ride.


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