- Heck since I seem to piss many people off I thought I would add to it this
morning. Ed :o)
Something to offend everyone:
> >Sunset Red "01" and life is a smooth ride.
> >1) What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
> >Juan on Juan.
> >2) What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
> >The position of the dirt bag.
> >3) Why is divorce so expensive?
> >Because it's worth it.
> >4) What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
> >One US leader.
> >5) What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts.
> >6) Why is air a lot like sex?
> >Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
> >7) Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely?
> >Because Janet Reno is her real father.
> >8) What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a
> >room together? 100 people who don't do dick.
> >9) How did the tugboat get AIDs?
> >It was rear-ended by a ferry.
> >10) Define "Egghead:"
> >What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty
> >11) What do you call a smart blonde?
> >A golden retriever.
> >12) What do attorneys use for birth control?
> >Their personalities.
> >13) What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
> >45 lbs.
> >14) What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
> >45 minutes.
> >15) How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
> >None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
> >16) What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
> >Through his chest with a sharp knife.
> >17)Why do men want to marry virgins?
> >They can't stand criticism.
> >18) Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
> >and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
> >19) What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a
> >year, the dog is still excited to see you.
> >20) What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The
> >same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
> >21) A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has
> >the biggest boobs? The blonde, because she's 18.
> >22) Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
> >Because they have cotton balls.
> >23) What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
> >A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
> >24) What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are
> >you sure it's mine?"
> >25) What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Beer Nuts
> >are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
> >26) Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
> >Mace will do that to you.
> >27) Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
> >Everyone has the same DNA.
> >28) Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
> >Breasts don't have eyes.
> >29) Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
> >He walks around saying "Yo."
> >30) Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car
> >only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
> >Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
> >31) What's the Cuban National Anthem?
> >"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
> >32. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
> >A different bar.
> >33. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
> >They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
> >34. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
> >other? A speech impediment.
> >35. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
> >half-mast? They're hiring.
> >36. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A
> >southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
> >along with "a recipe".
> >37. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
> >Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell*BINGO*!
> >38. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
> >fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern
> >fairytale begins > "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
> >39. My, my, how times have changed. Years ago...When 100 white men
> >chased one black man, we called it the Ku Klux Klan. Today they call it
> >the PGA TOUR.
> >40. Why is there no Disneyland in China?
> >No one's tall enough to go on the good rides!
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