Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.

Invisible Lover

Expand Messages
  • NamoAmituofo
    TheDailyEnlightenment.comWeekly 25/11/04 Are the Events & Notices below not relevant to you? Clutter-free TDE-Weekly International Version is now available.
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 25, 2004
      TheDailyEnlightenment.comWeekly 25/11/04

      Are the Events & Notices below not relevant to you?
      Clutter-free TDE-Weekly International Version is now available.
      Just email 
      tde-intl-subscribe@yahoogroups.com to join.
      Quotes: Non-Violence

      Through violence, you may 'solve' one problem,
      but you sow the seeds for another.

      -H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

      Your worst enemy cannot harm you
      as much as your own thoughts, unguarded.

      -The Buddha
      | pic:menstuff.org
      Your Contributions: 

       Words of a Dying Man

      Never Apart

      Let play a game... Whoever lets the other's hand go loses...


      The Spiritual Bus Test

      The Miracle of Babies
      Music Review: Thank You For Hearing Me
      Please share with us @ comment@... 

      The Invisible Lover

      As I was walking up the stair,
      I met a man who wasn't there.
      He wasn't there again today.
      I wish, I wish he'd stay away.
      -Hughes Mearns

      I have a friend who misses an invisible lover. No, not talking about unseen spirits here. She yearns for the arrival of her ideal lover into her life. Sometimes she is optimistic of meeting this dream lover eventually. Sometimes she is wistfully unsure whether he will appear. Sometimes she wishes he never came to mind. Like the person in Mearns' poem, she lets herself be haunted by the "presence of his absence". Surreal indeed, as she searches and sees fleeting traces of him in different guys in the crowd. "So far, so bad" - she ends up disappointed each time. Much ado about nothing... and there is nothing else she can readily do to find him. As if tormented by a real lover who spurned her, she often feels incomplete and loveless.

      I didn't want to burst her bubble, to tell her she was obsessed with a "ghost lover". Afterall, there was no way to tell whether he exists. As long as she clung to him, s
      he misses the real people around her. Maybe her dream guy's appearance is not that she thinks? Maybe he looks better. Beyond looks, maybe he IS better. With her attachment to her absent love, she has become an absent person to the rest of the world. Living an "unreal" life, she herself becomes a ghost of sorts. Who are the absent people who haunt you? If mere thinking does not exorcise these ghosts or make them real, why not let them go and live fully now for those around you? The ghosts of our desires cannot be had and held. If you deserve their manifestation in real life, they will appear. In the mean time, look beyond form, for we are all physically and mentally shape-shifting beings. Just remember how many times you misjudged someone by their appearance. Just as we wouldn't like others to judge us by our appearance, let go of your preconceived ideas and see others as they are. It's only fair to everyone.

      In Buddhism, hungry ghosts represent beings who have neurotic craving for what they cannot get. Metaphorically, human "hungry ghost lovers" are those who crave for physical and spiritual fulfilment beyond themselves, seeking qualities missing in themselves in each other. Starved for love, they have forgotten that they can be complete persons in themselves. Are you living a ghostly life seeking a ghostly lover? Only you can make yourself whole. The love you have, be it from yourself or another, is spiritual only when it shows you that!
      -shian | pic: Placebo's "Sleeping with Ghosts"

      Please share with us @
      Review of Last Issue: Response to "Play It Again, Sam(sara)"
      Excerpt: The Easiest Way to Creating Good Karma

      Simply by rejoicing, without the need for extensive preparation or any special effort, you can accumulate incredible merit, incredible good karma. In one second you can accumulate merit infinite as space. If you really practice it honestly, rejoicing in others is the easiest way to accumulate extensive merit and attain ultimate happiness...

      The practice of rejoicing can prevent the arising of pride, jealousy, or anger. Whenever you hear that someone else has been successful, rejoice. Always practice rejoicing  for others - whether your friend or your "enemy" - even about samsaric success. For example, when you hear that someone has been successful in business, you should rejoice. When you hear that someone has found a partner, again rejoice. You should think "How wonderful it is that they have found the happiness they were seeking!" Practice feeling as happy for others as you do for yourself. In other words, cherish others as you cherish yourself. Feel happy when others find happiness, as if you yourself had found happiness.

      If you cherish only yourself, you cannot experience happiness, but if you cherish others as you cherish yourself, happiness arises naturally... without any need to think of reasons. When something good happens to anyone, you naturally feel happy. Every positive trait is the result of past good actions, and all can be a basis for you to rejoice. When you see someone possessed of physical beauty, think: "How wonderful it is that this person has a beautiful body now as a result of practicing patience and morality in past lives."... If someone is very intelligent or has more understanding of the Dharma than you do, you can rejoice in it as well.

      - Transforming Problems Into Happiness (Lama Zopa Rinpoche) (the above rearranged)
      [Available @ Awareness Place:


      TDE] Launch of International TDE-Weekly for Non-Singaporeans
      Go to
      http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DharmaNews/messages any time for Latest News
      (The News you see listed below are compiled weekly from DharmaNews)
      To get the latest news faster, send a blank mail to

      [SBL] Ajahn Brahmavamso's Talks:
      14/12: Meditation to Power Your Mind
      15/12: A Practical Way of Dealing with Death
      16/12: An Effective Response to the Insecurities of Life
      [KYCL] Zen Meditation Retreats / Dharma Talks by Zen Master Dae Kwang
      [BBDC] Shurangama Sutra
      Lectures (English Vol. 4 / Chinese Roll 4)
      PKS] Volunteers Needed for 100 Million Mani Recitation Retreat

      [PNBA] HH Drubwang Pema Norbu Rinpoche's Program 3-6 Dec
      PKS] kmsYM: *w*s*d*p Nov/Dec :
      25/11: Beat the Blues: Taking Your Power Back from Depression
      02/12: The Secret Behind 80+ Years of Serving the Underprivileged:
      Sharing Session with Teresa Hsu
      Music of the Night: Buddhist Hymns & Devotions 2
                An Encore Sing-a-Long cum Sharing Session with Ah Hoiz & Friends
      16/12Introduction to Tibetan Buddhism for the Unacquainted:
      Talk cum Q&A Session by Tan Boon Beng, President of CAS
      The Story of Kampung Senang: 
                A Former Corporate Warrior's Journey in Building a Caring Community
      Sharing Session with Joyce Lye, Founder of Kampung Senang
      30/12: Finding Forgiveness: Royal Road to Your Spiritual Renewal
      Talk cum Q&A Session by Dr. Lim Kok Kwang, Clincial Advisor of SYCC

      [APMC] Meditation Appreciation Course
      [MV] Meditation for Beginners
      [HIT] 3-Day 8 Precepts Retreat | Dec Activities
      [PKS & SYCC] Mind Health Talks
      [PKS] General Yoga
      ] Bodhi Puja Every Sunday
      [Kg Senang] "Love in the World" Charity Show: 3-5 Dec | Volunteers Needed
      [PKS] Enrolment for Children Chinese Dharma Class 2005
      [PKS] Percussion Training Class
      [PKS] The Secret of Colours: A Self Awareness & Personal Enhancement Talk
      [Dharma Resonance] A Buddhist Hymns Sharing Session
      [BMWS] How Volunteerism Can Improve Your Life (Ch)
      [Jewelheart] H.H Ngawang Gehlek Rinpoche Workshop: 3 Principal Aspects of the Path
      [BBDC] Youth Camp
      [NTUBS] Camp Aspiration
      [NUSBS] Dharma Camp
      [SBM] Camp Ehipassiko 2004: Sequel
      [PKS & KCKL] The 100 Million Mani Recitation Retreat (Reflections: 1|2)
      [SBF] Abhidhamma Course
      [SYCC] Working with Others: Compassion in Action
      [SYCC] Seminar: From Loss to Love ~ Grieving with Mindfulness
      [SYCC] Manage your mind with PNI
      [JB] Retreat by Sayalay Dipankara
      [bf_youth] Nov Activities
      [VMC] Nov Circular | Update
      [FKS] Nov/Dec Program
      (Amended) Talk & Meditation by Wat Kao Tham
      [Mangala Vihara] Monthly Talks
      [SPBS] Events

      Chinese Events
      More Events before/after 25/11

      World News


      Please Help Support This Child
      Request for Dedication of Merit
      Introducing Sutra Foundation
      [VSS] Introducing Vegetarian Society Singapore | Support by Giro
      [VSS] Appeal for Articles: Why Did I Become Vegetarian?
      [BF] Firefly Mission Invitation | Old PCs Needed
      [CASonline] Counsellors in Prison | Announcement
      [O'Joy Care Services] Appeal
      Offering to HH Dalai Lama and 7000 monks
      [PKS] Needed: Graphic Designer / Corporate Affairs Exec / Events & Student Development Project Exec
      kmsYM: Tembusu Home Chanting at PKS Seeks Volunteers
      [BF] Assistance to People in Bodhgaya

      [CAS] Retreat Sponsorship
      [BMWS] Volunteers Needed for Graphic Design & Web Design
      [BMWS] Clerk Needed

      [ShuangLin] Volunteer Tutors Needed
      [Metta] Needed: Social Worker
      [Metta] Needed: Supervisor & Teachers
      [PKS] Student Volunteers Needed for Expansion of Free Book Distribution Channels

      Chinese Notices
      More Notices before/after 25/11

      http://thedailyenlightenment.com/new for this issue online.
      http://thedailyenlightenment.com/pjnew for Chinese version.
      http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheDailyEnlightenment/messages for previous issues.

      www.TheDailyEnlightenment.com for daily inspirations.
      To subscribe, email

      TDE-Weekly (www.TheDailyEnlightenment.com) is a free non-sectarian multi-traditional international Dharma inspiration e-newsletter (Members:13,000+) run by Singapore's Kong Meng San Phor Kark See Monastery (www.kmspks.org). You can support us by contributing articles and encouraging friends to join by forwarding them this mail.

      Main (full) Subscription Plan (Send blank mail)
      thedailyenlightenment-subscribe@yahoogroups.com (English TDE)
      Pujue-TDE-subscribe@yahoogroups.com (Chinese TDE)
      Subsidiary Subscription Plans (Send blank mail)

      In these subsidiary mailing lists, you can subscribe only to the selected sections above. (Send with "unsubscribe" in the email address to unsubscribe.) All replies, contributions, suggestions, queries, subscriptions are welcomed at
      TDE@.... Disclaimer & Copyright: The views and opinions of the authors of the above articles, and those of publicised activities' speakers do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of any organisation. The copyright of the articles belong to the respective authors and are not to be reproduced without their permission. The pictures belong to the domains they are hosted on.

    Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.