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wet leaves

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  • blomstereng
    my view is always changing never the same... the leaves have fallen with the midnight rain kirsty...comments always welcome
    Message 1 of 7 , Nov 1, 2002
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      my view
      is always changing
      never the same...
      the leaves have fallen
      with the midnight rain


      kirsty...comments always welcome
    • thelmamariano
      ... Kirsty, I love the last two lines on this poem - there s a real mood to them and they are eloquently stated. The image gives me a feeling of permanent
      Message 2 of 7 , Nov 4, 2002
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        --- In Tanka@y..., "blomstereng" <kirsty@m...> wrote:
        >
        >
        > my view
        > is always changing
        > never the same...
        > the leaves have fallen
        > with the midnight rain
        >
        >
        > kirsty...comments always welcome


        Kirsty,

        I love the last two lines on this poem - there's a real mood to them
        and they are eloquently stated. The image gives me a feeling of
        permanent change - the leaves have fallen for good. There's even a
        sadness.

        But I had a problem linking this image to what was said in the first
        three lines. I don't know if you would consider changing these to
        reflect the mood of the last two. I think it's worth doing, this
        could be spectacular! But up to you.


        Thelma
      • gillena2001
        Message 3 of 7 , Nov 4, 2002
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          --- In Tanka@y..., "blomstereng" <kirsty@m...> wrote:
          >
          >
          > my view
          > is always changing
          > never the same...
          > the leaves have fallen
          > with the midnight rain
          >
          >
          > kirsty...comments always welcome
          >>
          >>
          >> a heartfelt poem; I like the jutapositon of dynamism
          >> resonated in the natural phenomenon of autumn leaves, a
          >> a sure thing yet, yet still, a transient occurance.
          >> -_-
          >> gillena
        • thelmamariano
          ... first ... and ... guess I ... encouragement, I ... Kirsty, I understood what you were trying to say - my problem was with the image of leaves already
          Message 4 of 7 , Nov 4, 2002
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            --- In Tanka@y..., "kirsty karkow" <kirsty@m...> wrote:
            > > > my view
            > > > is always changing
            > > > never the same...
            > > > the leaves have fallen
            > > > with the midnight rain
            > > >
            > >
            > > Kirsty,
            > >
            > > I love the last two lines on this poem -
            >
            > ***I am so glad
            >
            > > But I had a problem linking this image to what was said in the
            first
            > > three lines.
            >
            > ***The changing view has to do with the leaves of summer yellowing
            and
            > finally dropping, always changing...among other things...but I
            guess I
            > didn't quite succeed in getting this idea across. With your
            encouragement, I
            > shall certainly work on the first three lines. I do appreciate your
            > input...how else can we improve?
            >
            > kirsty
            >
            >
            > I don't know if you would consider changing these to
            > > reflect the mood of the last two. I think it's worth doing, this
            > > could be spectacular! But up to you.
            > >
            > >
            > > Thelma
            > >
            > >
            Kirsty,

            I understood what you were trying to say - my problem was with the
            image of leaves already fallen. The first three lines indicated
            things were always changing, but in the last two the change had
            already occurred. There was a finality to it.

            Maybe if you look at some fallen leaves you'll tap into another
            emotion? Or a different angle?

            Hope this makes some sense!


            Thelma
            > >
          • kirsty karkow
            ... ***The changing view has to do with the leaves of summer yellowing and finally dropping, always changing...among other things...but I guess I didn t quite
            Message 5 of 7 , Nov 4, 2002
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              > > my view
              > > is always changing
              > > never the same...
              > > the leaves have fallen
              > > with the midnight rain
              > >
              >
              > Kirsty,
              >
              > I love the last two lines on this poem -

              ***I am so glad

              > But I had a problem linking this image to what was said in the first
              > three lines.

              ***The changing view has to do with the leaves of summer yellowing and
              finally dropping, always changing...among other things...but I guess I
              didn't quite succeed in getting this idea across. With your encouragement, I
              shall certainly work on the first three lines. I do appreciate your
              input...how else can we improve?

              kirsty


              I don't know if you would consider changing these to
              > reflect the mood of the last two. I think it's worth doing, this
              > could be spectacular! But up to you.
              >
              >
              > Thelma
              >
              >
              >
              >
              >
              > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
              >
              >
              >
            • kirsty karkow
              ... Thank you, Gillena, and may the Festival of Lights be with you all year. I have celebrated Diwali many times, also. kirsty
              Message 6 of 7 , Nov 4, 2002
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                > >
                > > my view
                > > is always changing
                > > never the same...
                > > the leaves have fallen
                > > with the midnight rain
                > >
                > >
                > > kirsty...comments always welcome
                > >>
                > >>
                > >> a heartfelt poem; I like the jutapositon of dynamism
                > >> resonated in the natural phenomenon of autumn leaves, a
                > >> a sure thing yet, yet still, a transient occurance.
                > >> -_-
                > >> gillena

                Thank you, Gillena, and may the Festival of Lights be with you all year. I
                have celebrated Diwali many times, also. kirsty
                >
                >
                >
                >
                > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
                >
                >
                >
              • kirsty karkow
                Message 7 of 7 , Nov 4, 2002
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                  > --- In Tanka@y..., "kirsty karkow" <kirsty@m...> wrote:
                  > > > > my view
                  > > > > is always changing
                  > > > > never the same...
                  > > > > the leaves have fallen
                  > > > > with the midnight rain
                  > > > >
                  > > >
                  > > >
                  > > >
                  > Kirsty,
                  >
                  > I understood what you were trying to say - my problem was with the
                  > image of leaves already fallen. The first three lines indicated
                  > things were always changing, but in the last two the change had
                  > already occurred. There was a finality to it.

                  ***Ahhhh. I see what you mean. Many more thanks. kirsty
                  >
                  > Maybe if you look at some fallen leaves you'll tap into another
                  > emotion? Or a different angle?
                  >
                  > Hope this makes some sense!
                  >
                  >
                  > Thelma
                  > > >
                  >
                  >
                  >
                  >
                  > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
                  >
                  >
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