Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.

RE: [Tanka] Jane's Yahoogroups forum..in honor

Expand Messages
  • Jane Reichhold
    Spiros, The poem shape is looking much better to me now. However I am still having trouble with the word stature - which indicates size or form. The brook is
    Message 1 of 6 , Feb 10, 2013
    • 0 Attachment
      Spiros,

      The poem shape is looking much better to me now.

      However I am still having trouble with the word "stature" - which indicates
      size or form. The brook is much bigger than either of us and a lot more
      beautiful! In no way do our bodies even 'barely rise above". . .

      Or?



      Ah, could you remind me of the San Juan poem? I am having trouble
      remembering it. \o/ Jane

      _____

      From: Tanka@yahoogroups.com [mailto:Tanka@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of
      Spiros Zafiris
      Sent: Saturday, February 09, 2013 2:35 PM
      To: Tanka@yahoogroups.com
      Subject: RE: [Tanka] Jane's Yahoogroups forum..in honor







      --- On Sat, 2/9/13, Jane Reichhold jane@...
      <mailto:jane%40ahapoetry.com> > wrote:

      ..hello Jane..>>thanks for voicing your concerns re this tanka
      "above such stature" simply refers to the elegance and magnificence
      of the brook..the voice sings (Tanka=short song):

      mountain brook,
      my legs--my arms--
      barely rise
      above such stature: they're flutes
      the rest of me plays, in honor
      ~~
      ..(C)2013 Spiros Zafiris
      ------------------------------------------------
      ..see, here, Jane the narrator (the voice) is praising the brook; singing
      how his legs and arms barely rise above such magnificence--and, only,
      perhaps when they are being used as flutes by the rest of him
      to extol (the mountain brook)....and in regards to the title, it has no
      chance, really, to weaken or add to the meaning because the tanka
      when published in a perodical/ezine/book, will not have a title
      ..a title is being used, here, only for 'records' sake
      ..Jane, my friend, I hope you see it more the way I do, now.. you never
      said what you thought of my San Juan poem
      ..i only sent it to you to read something longer, different..i wasn't
      submitting it for any consideration or anything like that..very best
      regards..>>spiros
      ~~
      From: Jane Reichhold jane@... <mailto:jane%40ahapoetry.com>
      Subject: RE: [Tanka] Jane's Yahoogroups forum..in honor
      To: Tanka@yahoogroups.com <mailto:Tanka%40yahoogroups.com>
      Received: Saturday, February 9, 2013, 12:43 PM

      Spiros,

      I cannot figure out what "above such stature" means and what it adds to the
      poem. Since length seems to be a slight problem I was wondering if that idea
      could be given other words or left out. Also, if you are going to title the
      poem with 'in honor' I do not feel you need to repeat that in the last line.
      I think the idea of the poem is worthy of a bit more work on the wording to
      make it fit the tanka form.

      I hope this helps.

      \o/ Jane

      _____

      From: Tanka@yahoogroups.com <mailto:Tanka%40yahoogroups.com>
      [mailto:Tanka@yahoogroups.com <mailto:Tanka%40yahoogroups.com> ] On Behalf
      OfSpiros Zafiris
      Sent: Friday, February 08, 2013 2:19 AM
      To: Tanka@yahoogroups.com <mailto:Tanka%40yahoogroups.com>
      Subject: Re: [Tanka] Jane's Yahoogroups forum..in honor



      trry it this way:

      in honor

      mountain brook,
      my legs--my arms--
      barely rise
      above such stature: they're flutes
      the rest of me plays, in honor
      ~~
      ..(C)2013 Spiros Zafiris
      ~~

      --- On Fri, 2/8/13, Spiros Zafiris misterspiros@...
      <mailto:misterspiros%40yahoo.ca>
      > wrote:

      From: Spiros Zafiris misterspiros@... <mailto:misterspiros%40yahoo.ca>

      >
      Subject: [Tanka] Jane's Yahoogroups forum..in honor
      To: Tanka@yahoogroups.com <mailto:Tanka%40yahoogroups.com>
      Received: Friday, February 8, 2013, 5:14 AM

      in honor

      mountain brook,
      my legs--my arms--
      barely rise
      above such stature:
      they're flutes the rest of my plays, in honor
      ~~
      .Sunday, Jan. 27, 2013..(C)2013 Spiros Zafiris
      ..channeled; spirit Harmony; reaching
      into the poet's mind
      ~~

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

      ------------------------------------

      Yahoo! Groups Links

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

      ------------------------------------

      Yahoo! Groups Links

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • Spiros Zafiris
      ..Jane, O Jane....i mean, in the poem, stature in the sense of magnificence..stature means, also, greatness and greatness is a synonym of
      Message 2 of 6 , Feb 10, 2013
      • 0 Attachment
        ..Jane, O Jane....i mean, in the poem, "stature" in the sense
        of magnificence..stature means, also, "greatness" and "greatness"
        is a synonym of 'magnificence'..as for the poem entitled, San
        Juan, I sent it to you at your janeATahapoetry.com email address
        [of course i used @ for AT] and i sent it on Tuesday, Jan. 29, 2013
        at 8:09 P.M...it is a longer poem about how we came a hair length's away from crashing..the cargo plane we were on had a faulty
        fuel gauge--the pin was stuck, showing we had fuel when we didn't
        ..respectfully..>>spiros
        ~~

        --- On Sun, 2/10/13, Jane Reichhold <jane@...> wrote:


        From: Jane Reichhold <jane@...>
        Subject: RE: [Tanka] Jane's Yahoogroups forum..in honor
        To: Tanka@yahoogroups.com
        Received: Sunday, February 10, 2013, 1:08 PM


        Spiros,

        The poem shape is looking much better to me now.

        However I am still having trouble with the word "stature" - which indicates
        size or form. The brook is much bigger than either of us and a lot more
        beautiful! In no way do our bodies even 'barely rise above". . .

        Or?



        Ah, could you remind me of the San Juan poem? I am having trouble
        remembering it. \o/ Jane

          _____ 

        From: Tanka@yahoogroups.com [mailto:Tanka@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of
        Spiros Zafiris
        Sent: Saturday, February 09, 2013 2:35 PM
        To: Tanka@yahoogroups.com
        Subject: RE: [Tanka] Jane's Yahoogroups forum..in honor



         



        --- On Sat, 2/9/13, Jane Reichhold jane@...
        <mailto:jane%40ahapoetry.com> > wrote:

        ..hello Jane..>>thanks for voicing your concerns re this tanka
        "above such stature" simply refers to the elegance  and magnificence
        of the brook..the voice sings (Tanka=short song):

        mountain brook,
        my legs--my arms--
        barely rise
        above such stature: they're flutes
        the rest of me plays, in honor
        ~~
        ..(C)2013 Spiros Zafiris
        ------------------------------------------------
        ..see, here, Jane the narrator (the voice) is praising the brook; singing
        how his legs and arms barely rise above such magnificence--and, only,
        perhaps when they are being used as flutes by the rest of him
        to extol (the mountain brook)....and in regards to the title, it has no
        chance, really, to weaken or add to the meaning because the tanka
        when published in a perodical/ezine/book, will not have a title
        ..a title is being used, here, only for 'records' sake
        ..Jane, my friend, I hope you see it more  the way I do, now.. you never
        said what you thought of my San Juan poem
        ..i only sent it to you to read something longer, different..i wasn't
        submitting it for any consideration or anything like that..very best
        regards..>>spiros
        ~~
        From: Jane Reichhold jane@... <mailto:jane%40ahapoetry.com>
        Subject: RE: [Tanka] Jane's Yahoogroups forum..in honor
        To: Tanka@yahoogroups.com <mailto:Tanka%40yahoogroups.com>
        Received: Saturday, February 9, 2013, 12:43 PM

        Spiros,

        I cannot figure out what "above such stature" means and what it adds to the
        poem. Since length seems to be a slight problem I was wondering if that idea
        could be given other words or left out. Also, if you are going to title the
        poem with 'in honor' I do not feel you need to repeat that in the last line.
        I think the idea of the poem is worthy of a bit more work on the wording to
        make it fit the tanka form.

        I hope this helps.

        \o/ Jane

          _____ 

        From: Tanka@yahoogroups.com <mailto:Tanka%40yahoogroups.com>
        [mailto:Tanka@yahoogroups.com <mailto:Tanka%40yahoogroups.com> ] On Behalf
        OfSpiros Zafiris
        Sent: Friday, February 08, 2013 2:19 AM
        To: Tanka@yahoogroups.com <mailto:Tanka%40yahoogroups.com>
        Subject: Re: [Tanka] Jane's Yahoogroups forum..in honor

         

        trry it this way:

        in honor

        mountain brook,
        my legs--my arms--
        barely rise
        above such stature: they're flutes
        the rest of me plays, in honor
        ~~
        ..(C)2013 Spiros Zafiris
        ~~

        --- On Fri, 2/8/13, Spiros Zafiris misterspiros@...
        <mailto:misterspiros%40yahoo.ca>
        > wrote:

        From: Spiros Zafiris misterspiros@... <mailto:misterspiros%40yahoo.ca>

        >
        Subject: [Tanka] Jane's Yahoogroups forum..in honor
        To: Tanka@yahoogroups.com <mailto:Tanka%40yahoogroups.com> 
        Received: Friday, February 8, 2013, 5:14 AM

        in honor

        mountain brook,
        my legs--my arms--
        barely rise
        above such stature:
        they're flutes the rest of my plays, in honor
        ~~
        .Sunday, Jan. 27, 2013..(C)2013 Spiros Zafiris
        ..channeled; spirit Harmony; reaching
        into the poet's mind
        ~~

        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

        ------------------------------------

        Yahoo! Groups Links

        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

        ------------------------------------

        Yahoo! Groups Links

        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



        ------------------------------------

        Yahoo! Groups Links





        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.