REVIEW: THE MIGHTY WACK #69
- Or as it is more affectionately known to long-time Marvel
fans: WHAT IF THOR WENT NUTZOID.
A new mini arc began this issue in what is
assuredly the longest story ever to grace the
Real Deal's title.
Yes, the long-anticipated REIGNING has begun.
More after our courtesy---
And a bunch of other nice folks
And the Q and Jemas, too.
Dan Jurgens has finally brought us to the Reigning,
heralded literally years ago---real time---and only now
coming to dramatic fruition.
In this issue Jurgens leap-frogs yet again to
the year 2170. Asgard still rules Midgard.
Mankind has been plunged back to
the Middle Ages. Electricity is a thing of past.
Horses are the preferred mode of speedy travel.
So complete has the subjugation of Midgard
culture become, that everything---everything---
is now tinged with Asgardian overtones.
Place names are an example; Boston
is now Bostogardd.
Personal names, too: girls, for instance,
have names like 'Jordahl'.
This story opens with a girl by that name,
who is caught stealing at the New Asgard bazaar
and must flee from the guards, who, aply enough,
are called 'Asguards'.
She escapes only to be slammed into by someone falling
from a time portal.
It turns out to be Thialfi, who when last seen,
was battling the Tomorrow Man during
the battle on Old Asgard shortly
before Thor assumed complete
lordship of Midgard.
The girl befriends him, and he is shocked
to learn of the changes that have taken place.
But they have barely begun to talk when
they are taken prisoner by Loki, who demands
information or he will extract it.
At this point, Thor appears,
and the issue ends.
Where to begin?
Taken as a WHAT IF, the issue is enjoyable.
The Asgard-ruling-Midgard riff is still novel
enough to be interesting. The constant hopping
around is a distraction, but that's presumably
so Jurgens can bring this tale to its
Taken as an issue of Thor, the stupidities are legion.
Has Jurgens forgotten that Asgardians are
stronger and faster than your average human?
Apparently so, for he has Jordahl escape
from two of them with ridiculous ease.
Then there is the inanity of the whole
'Asgard-speak'. Yes, it's historically
typical for conquerors to rename cities
and countries they conquer, but
'Bostogardd' is just plain silly,
and 'Asguards' is just plain dumb.
And apparently the years have
not been kind to Loki.
Senility has set in, to the
point where he doesn't
Then there's that final panel.
Jurgens had achieved a remarkable feat;
he has turned Thor into Odin.
Complete with an eye patch.
Nevermind that Asgardians age
slowly; nevermind that it should take
untold millenia for Thor to age as much
as he has in just a hundred and seventy
Jurgens has so completely turned the basic
premise behind THOR on its mythological
and superheroic head that there virtually
is no basic premise anymore.
Anything goes, and will in the issues ahead.
On the Mjolnir meter we'll give this one
a 6, primarily for the art.
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