Recollections on Sri Chinmoy: A birthday blessing from Guru
- Once or twice I got a flower from Guru on my birthday. And once, he called a group of us up who all had birthdays around the same time, and meditated on us. But Guru publicly celebrated my birthday only once. It was my twenty-sixth birthday. It was an interesting time. Some unfortunate things had happened in the world-situation, and also I was having some pretty serious problems. I had my own way of dealing with these issues, but hadn't felt the need to inform Guru outwardly. I told some of my friends how I was coping with my life, and they expressed concern for me, and also advised me to just let Guru know that I was having a hard time. I appreciated their advice, but for some reason wasn't yet prepared to act on it.
When my birthday rolled around, I decided to bake cookies. My old friend, Samarthan (who makes cheese cake that I would be willing to be sacrificed at a Mayan temple for), stayed up with me almost the whole night, showing me how to make the huge gooey chocolate chip cookies that Guru was especially fond of. I was happy to have Samarthan's assistance. The first time I made prasad for a New York function, I made brownies, but forgot the baking soda. They came out hard as bricks! But one of Guru's attendants told me that Guru still said "very good" when he saw them.
Anyway, these cookies were very big and had cost me and Samarthan a lot of effort. When the Wednesday night function had almost concluded, Guru leaned into the microphone, put his hand over his heart chakra, and said "Morris has made cookies for his birthday tomorrow."
I was stunned! Then, after we had all taken prasad, Guru called me up. I ran up to the stage and sat in front of Guru. His eyes moved back and forth, I could see that he was entering into a kind of trance. A little smile played on his face. Then he smiled from ear to ear and gave me a tulip. I bowed to the Master and returned to my seat.
The next day, there was an afternoon function at Aspiration Ground. Many visitors were there, because it was right before Guru's annual Christmas vacation, when he travels with his students to various countries in Asia or the Pacific. At the end of the function, he asked for us to walk past him five times. O my God, every time I passed Guru, he gave me the most affectionate, loving, pride-flooded smile! He just inundated me with his beautiful, soulful smiles! I've never received so many smiles from Guru before or since!
After the function, I waited near the summit of the 85th avenue hill for Guru to pass by. As his car rolled past, Guru turned to me and waved at me enthusiastically. Once again, that is a very unusual experience for me.
About a week later, I was meditating in my room, and I got the inner feeling that I should call Ashrita (Guru's main secretary) and tell him what kinds of problems I've been having and how I've been dealing with them. He promised me he would convey the message to Guru.
The next day, Ashrita called me back, and told me that Guru had indicated that I should stop doing what I was doing. He didn't say that Guru had proposed an alternative solution, but just that I should stop. Guru would deal with it himself.
These problems continued to plague me for a while longer, but when they came into my mind, and disturbed my peace, I simply thought of how Guru smiled at me, I thought of all the affection Guru showed me on my birthday. Guru's love slowly overwhelmed the strength of these problems which had tortured me so much.
The following Saturday, after the function, I just remember standing at the top of the hill, waiting for Guru's car to pass. When the car drove by, very slowly, Guru folded his hands and bowed his head to me in a silent blessing-pranam. I folded my hands and bowed back. I remember an elderly Sikh man was walking behind me, and I remember how bright the sun was at that moment. Somehow, I feel the heart has a kind of camera, which can capture life's most sacred moments. That blessing from Guru is one of those photographic heart-memories that I have locked away. Somehow Guru blessings and love not only surpass space and time, but also mold and form them. I knew, at that moment, that my life was taken care of by Guru, and would forever be so.
- Truly Mahiruha you need to put all of these stories into a book. They are so charming and so well written.
Now that Guru is no longer in the physical it is so fulfilling and pleasing to read these intimate anecdotes of our Guru. I enjoy very much reading different disciple accounts of their time with Guru. Each person presents a different aspect of Guru that we may not have ever experienced.
I have had many inner experiences of Guru as we all have. Some of the most profound ones occurred when I took my seat on the plane to go home from Celebrations. It seems that the whole Celebrations experience came to me all at once in a huge flood and it gave a whole new meaning to flying home.
I only had two outer experiences with Guru. Once on a Christmas trip I happened to be by the front door of the hotel and Guru was passing by on one of his moving carts and he stopped and said "So, when is Shishir coming?" I quietly answered, and he said "Very good." and then he promptly left. Even this little encounter gave me an inner thrill.
The second time happened when I was a fairly new disciple.
Guru was selling a weight lifting picture and we could also have it signed by Guru if we wanted. Being new I didn't realize that we had to write our name down on a piece of paper for Guru so I went up to Guru and told him my name which at that time was Lynda, and I told him that it was Lynda spelled with a Y. He looked at me with a funny look and said "Y,Y,Y", but with the look on his face that seemed at the time to be a look of disappointment it sounded like he was saying "Why, why, why?"
I left the court feeling rather unsettled and all my self doubt came to the fore as my mind tried to analyze what Guru was really saying when he said "Y,Y,Y". I was sure that it meant that I wasn't doing well, or that perhaps I shouldn't even be there.
To this day I'm not sure what Guru actually meant when he said those words, but 2 weeks after this incident I received my spiritual name.
It just goes to show that our mind has absolutely no clue what's really going on.
Keep writing and inspiring us Mahiruha!
- [posted on behalf of Samarthan. Please see http://www.srichinmoyinspiration.com/content/joining-sri-chinmoy-inspiration-group on how to hide email address]
Thank you for mentioning me in your recollections.