OT OT - The final culinary frontier
- Trekkies, or Trekkers (as they call themselves), or aficionados of the Star Trek science fiction television series, are probably among my least favorite people. That's because my high school was USS Enterprise Central- guys would buy skin-toned skull caps just to resemble their idol, Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stuart). Girls would talk about their plans to study medicine just so they could emulate their hero, brig superintendent Beverly Crusher. Things got pretty bad. I mean, imagine taking a canoe trip with a cadre of religious fundamentalists (it doesn't matter which religion), who are totally convinced that their way is the only way, and that their goal is the only goal and you get the idea what my four torturous years of high school were like. (Once I came to school dressed as Luke Skywalker. I almost got tarred and feathered!)
I'm currently reading a fictitious account of a Star Trek convention in Houston, Texas that gets hijacked and eventually co-opted by a group of cannibalistic zombies. With each page, I squeal with schadenfreude at its lowest, tawdriest level as I read descriptions of Trekkies having their eyes gouged out and being summarily basted, cooked and eaten en masse by their former fraternalists.
It's just, after two hundred pages of this delicious come-uppance, I've come to feel a twinge of sympathy for these poor, hapless convention-goers, thrown to the tender mercies of an undead cabal of voracious amateur gourmands with dual certification in the twin arts of cooking and vivisection. I mean, they came to the convention to discuss a mutual interest, not to get frantically pursued and haphazardly devoured.
So, after reading this book, I've decided to give my Star Trek brothers and sisters a second chance. In fact, I think I'll host a Star Trek convention here in Chicago. Just be sure to stay in your hotel rooms after dark, and to keep the doors very, very securely bolted.