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Gratitude-Blossoms 9 - intensity

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  • dmchaudhurani
    I have been slowly unwinding at my mother s house since my Saturday Joy Day adventure. On Monday I took my car for some long overdue repairs - someone cut
    Message 1 of 2 , Jul 31 9:56 PM
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      I have been slowly unwinding at my mother's house since my Saturday
      'Joy Day' adventure. On Monday I took my car for some long overdue
      repairs - someone cut across me in April when I was going to London
      for my flight to New York, damaging the wing, and although the
      insurance has been ready to do the repairs for about two months I
      couldn't deal with it until now. The garage has given me a courtesy
      car. So I'm now driving a silver 'Corsair.' Having written so much
      about the barley field I was thinking it would be nice to photograph
      it now it has been cut. The stubble was so even and bright. But as I
      set out to take my car to the garage a tractor had already started
      ploughing the field, surrounded by a great whirling flock of seagulls
      and rooks, out searching for worms in the nowly turned soil. Now the
      field looks very different with the rich dark earth.

      On Tuesday evening I drove my mother-in-law out in it for a little
      outing in my 'new car' - but there are no instructions and it took me
      some time to locate the controls so it was later than I intended when
      we set out. I'd intended to go through Thaxted and Finchingfield, both
      classic 'Beautiful Britain calendar-quality' villages near my mother's
      house, but the sunset was so beautiful I turned right on the Thaxted
      road so we could drive west and enjoy the symphony of colour as it lit
      the sky gold and then swept the streaks of cloud with sky-wide
      brushstrokes of intense purple-pink.

      Ma was in a reflective mood as the sunset faded fron the sky. She told
      me some inspiring stories of her young days growing up in India. Like
      Guru she caught smallpox as a child. It was very serious. Like Guru
      her mother used green coconut juice to bathe her and depended on the
      strength of her prayers. Ma was 14 at that time and at the height of
      the illness she had a vision in which the goddess who is responsible
      for healing appeared and stood before her, blessing her powerfully. I
      will ask Ma to remind me of the details but it was a deeply inspiring
      and significant experience for her. After this blessing the fever left
      her and she quickly recovered.

      We went into Saffron Walden and I took Ma to the 'Eight Bells'
      restaurant for a meal, only to find they had just finished serving
      food. She has quite bad arthritis and finds walking difficult, but we
      followed the advice of the staff at the Eight Bells and slowly made
      our way to another restaurant - the Saffron Hotel - with Ma taking
      slow small steps, leaning on my arm and using her cane. To avoid a
      steep slope on the pavement we walked in the road for part of the way,
      waiting between parked cars when any traffic passed. It was farther
      than I'd realised. We reached it with a sense of relief and
      achievement - only to find that the kitchen was being refurbished that
      evening, so no food was available there either! They did make us a
      very nice pot of tea.

      Wednesday was spent mostly on Mum's computer, looking for jobs and
      applying to some - (nothing very hopeful but you have to try.) Then I
      did some extra housework as Mum will be home on Friday.

      As the sun dipped towards the horizon I watered all the vegetables on
      the raised beds and in the greenhouse - including the vine which is
      full of bunches of young grapes and the tomatoes which are reaching
      the roof. They needed feeding as well as watering.

      I had hoped to get to Cambridge Centre but my timing was out. If I had
      been alone I could have flung myself through the bath and made it -
      but I was planning to go to London on Thursday for a 'Business
      Breakfast' to promote my Blue Lotus Enterprises and to register with
      another teaching agency on Friday. As I would have to leave home in
      the early hours I wanted to have a relaxed evening meal with Ma, get
      everything ready and have an early night - so I did my meditation at home.

      It was quite late on Wednesday when one of my Birmingham friends
      phoned with a bit of a family crisis. She is one of my tuition
      students who calls me 'Grandma' - someone who knows about Guru and
      has a lot of love and respect for him - although she is not outwardly
      a disciple. The problem was quite complicated so I assured her that I
      would see her in the morning. My time of peace and relaxation was
      coming to an end and instead of setting out early to beat the traffic
      with a 2 hour drive to London I found myself setting out for
      Birmingham this morning.

      I'd not gone far when I realised I'd left my i-pod and CDs so I had no
      music to enjoy. I did not want to turn back or get into 'radio mode'
      and I was quite sleepy - so I started to chant mantras. (Supreme,
      Gratitude, Devotion, Surrender, Guru, Sri Chinmoy and Durga-Mata were
      the main ones I chose.) I guess the journey took a little over 3 hours
      and I kept the mantras going all the way. It was raining part of the
      way and heavy traffic for the last hour, not a smooth journey, but the
      mantras made it inspiring, like a three hour meditation.

      In Birmingham, having discussed the situation and given my friend the
      best advice I could, she went out to try to sort things out. I stayed
      at her home reading some of the books of Guru's which she has and
      copying poems and extracts of his writings into a notebook for her. It
      was a way of staying prayerful and focussed - while creating something
      that would hopefully give her some strength and inspiration in the
      days to come. I was really tired and the temptation to sleep was
      strong but I kept my focus and paced myself with some exercises and by
      alternating the books I was using (mostly The Divine Hero) with
      reading files I've got on my computer. The main one I used was the New
      Year poems and inspiration I copied from Guru's Library site at the
      New Year in Zagreb, when I was staying with Anita. There is so much
      inspiration in that file. I'm thinking of 'serialising' some of it here.

      I have not read and immersed myself in Guru's writings with such
      intensity for a long time. I guess I started at about 1.00 and
      continued with few breaks until she returned at after 7pm.

      My friends mother came home at tea time with her little nephew. She
      called me to come down for a meal, and just as I put down my book I
      felt Guru's Presence with sudden and sweet closeness. It was intense
      but very delicate, like a feather-touch. Immediately I placed this
      particular problem at his feet and asked him to give my friend his
      light and his guidance.

      The problem is not resolved, things did not work out as we had hoped
      and my friend is quite depressed about it. She said, 'I told you not
      to come,' and only listened to a bit of the writings I had copied out
      so I would leave her in peace - but I was so full of my meditation and
      the inspiration of Guru's Words that I was unperturbed and able to
      come away with a peaceful heart, secure in the knowledge that he was
      in charge of the situation.

      I left at about midnight and drove back to London in the early hours
      of this morning. I would have found it hard to stay awake but just as
      I was thinking I would have to stop and rest, an Interfaith friend
      (who I had hoped I might have had time to visit and had texted earlier
      to say I was coming to Birmingham) - phoned and chatted on Hands Free
      for some time. After that, Guru just gave me the energy to go on, go
      on, until I reached home. I was thinking of the great ultra-runners
      and the way they just go on and on. They were my special inspiration.

      Now it's 5am. What a crazy lifestyle. But I am going to bed with a
      real sense of gratitude and happiness. For once I have really given
      the whole 24 hours to selfless service and meditation - and for the
      first time in weeks I have really felt Guru's Touch.

      When I write about events in my life like this it is not because I
      think they are any more special or significant than anyone else's.
      It's just because sharing my life like this is all I can offer. I am
      not a gifted poet so I write about my inspiring experiences. It would
      be nice to hear some of your stories, too.

      Rintu was my special source of inspiration - and 'blogger-champions'
      such as Jogyata - but I know there are many, many disciples who could
      do the same. We are a family and I hope more people will be inspired
      and and able to make time to share reminiscences of times with Guru
      and stories of their own aspiring-inspiring daily events.

      All my love and prayers that I will see you soon in New York

      Durga-Mata
    • mahiruha_27
      Durga-Mata, This story is a very interesting and practical devotional document. Thank you. Mahiruha
      Message 2 of 2 , Aug 7, 2008
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        Durga-Mata,

        This story is a very interesting and practical devotional document. Thank you.


        Mahiruha
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