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Re: Some Innocent Jokes

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  • kamalakanta47
    Hi! The grandmother one has to be my favorite! Kamalakanta
    Message 1 of 3 , Jul 3, 2008
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      Hi!

      The grandmother one has to be my favorite!

      Kamalakanta

      --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, purnakama2000
      <no_reply@...> wrote:
      >
      > Thanks Kamalakanta for a great laugh this morning:)
      >
      > Purnakama
      >
      > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, kamalakanta47
      > <no_reply@> wrote:
      > >
      > > Dear friends, I feel it is time for some innocent jokes:
      > >
      > > FBI Dog
      > > --------
      > > A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI.
      > > "Well," says the personel director, "you'll have to meet some
      > > strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words
      > > per minute."
      > >
      > > Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out 80 words per
      > > minute.
      > >
      > > "Also," says the director, "you must pass a physical and complete
      > > the obstacle course."
      > >
      > > This perfect canine specimen finishes the course in record time.
      > >
      > > "There's one last requirement," the director continues; "you must
      > > be bilingual."
      > >
      > > With confidence, the dog looks up at him and says, "Meow!"
      > >
      > > -------------------------------------------------------------------
      > ---------------------------
      > >
      > > Star Players
      > > -------------
      > > A football coach walked into the locker room before a game,
      > > looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed
      > > to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in
      > > there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question,
      > > and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed,
      > > so coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, "Okay,
      > > now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What
      > > is two plus two?"
      > >
      > > The player thought for a moment and then answered, "4?"
      > >
      > > "Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had
      > > got it right.
      > >
      > > Suddenly all the other players on the team began screaming...,
      > > "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
      > >
      > > -------------------------------------------------------------------
      > ---------------------------
      > >
      > > My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage.
      > > He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to
      > my
      > > Mom would be like. It seems the minister asked my Mom, "Do you take
      > > this man to be your husband." And she said,
      > > "I do."
      > > Then the minister asked my Dad, "Do you take this woman to be your
      > > wife," and my Mom said, "HE DOES."
      > >
      > > -------------------------------------------------------------------
      > --------------------------
      > >
      > > It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some
      > > advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long
      > line
      > > that formed by 8:30, the store's opening time, in front of the
      > store.
      > > A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be
      > pushed
      > > back, amid loud and colourful curse. On the man's second attempt,
      > he
      > > was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then
      > > thrown at the end of the line again.
      > > As he got up, he said to the person at the end of the line, "That
      > does
      > > it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!"
      > >
      > > -------------------------------------------------------------------
      > ---------------------------
      > >
      > > A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of
      > kids
      > > home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front
      > seat
      > > of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing
      > the
      > > dog's duties.
      > > "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.
      > > "No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
      > > A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs,"
      > > she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants"
      > >
      > > -------------------------------------------------------------------
      > -----------------------------
      > >
      > > After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into
      > old
      > > slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she
      > > heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience
      > > grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed
      > into
      > > their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she
      > left
      > > the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
      > > "Who was THAT?"
      > >
      > > -------------------------------------------------------------------
      > -----------------------------
      > >
      > >
      > > Kamalakanta
      > >
      >
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