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My life-saving prayer

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  • abhinabha
    This is a personal story about the power and light of a special prayer. Over the years I have developed a solid morning routine of prayer, meditation, singing
    Message 1 of 3 , Jun 4, 2008
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      This is a personal story about the power and light of a special prayer.

      Over the years I have developed a solid morning routine of prayer,
      meditation, singing and recitation. I know that without this daily
      routine my life would face a rapid and sorry decline in quality, so I
      keep it up. The routine is both fixed and malleable. It has its
      unvarying core, but changes every so often on the fringes with new
      prayers or songs joining in while others move out.

      For a long time I had made it a point during this morning routine to
      recite a special prayer, which Sri Chinmoy composed in Japan in 1997
      and starts with the line "My dear God, my dearer God, my dearest God".
      It's quite a lengthy prayer and invokes the quality of spiritual
      obedience, the ability to listen to and follow one's inner voice. Sri
      Chinmoy advised his students to recite this particular prayer seven
      times, "if possible," he added, "every day of your life".

      For many years I did it. On a good day, when my mind wouldn't wander
      off or just go ballistics, the prayer would take me about 15 minutes
      to complete. On a bad day it would take 20 or 25 minutes. As I said
      before, it was lengthy.

      For some reason, after Sri Chinmoy's physical departure, I grew tired
      of it. Why should I still recite it day in and day out? It took
      forever to complete. When my mind would have a bad day, it was just
      sheer torture. I figured that if I just meditated and sang and did the
      other prayers, God would surely compensate for the missing prayer. So
      for a few months the prayer was banished from my morning routine.

      Those months were some of the most intense in my life, to say the
      least, and I don't mean in a comfortable way. Rough inner patches and
      stormy soul-weather dogged me frequently. The connection with my soul
      was flimsier and shakier than ever. I lost interest in running, which
      is quite unheard of for me. There were times when I just burst into
      tears for no apparent reason, besides feeling miserable. I couldn't
      really account for it, although in my mind I thought it must have
      something to do with Guru's earth-departure.

      Then about a week ago I turned a page of one of my inspirational
      notebooks and read the following aphorism:

      "If we do not say
      Our obedience-life-prayers
      Every day,
      We shall meet with misfortune-days
      Quite often."

      (unofficial)

      --Sri Chinmoy
      (http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/books/1424/105/)

      When I read that, I had a real `eureka' moment. A veil was lifted and
      inwardly something clicked and fell into place. It was suddenly
      crystal clear that this was the reason I had felt so out-of-place and
      forlorn. I started saying the prayer again.

      It felt as if a long-lost friend had returned. Everything changed. The
      sun started shining again and I felt such a powerful rush of good
      energy inside, as if something within me cried with joy.

      In the end I'm really grateful for this period, because it has shown
      me what power this prayer has. It has made me value it much, much more.

      So I call it my life-saving prayer. For me it has become the most
      important part of my morning meditation. I don't think I could live
      without it.

      I tried but it didn't work.

      In love and light,
      --Abhinabha
    • pranam13
      Dear Abhinabha Your post is very moving. It is very sincere and inspiring and I am grateful for Your courage to write it out. We really need to inspire and
      Message 2 of 3 , Jun 7, 2008
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        Dear Abhinabha

        Your post is very moving. It is very sincere and inspiring and
        I am grateful for Your courage to write it out. We really need
        to inspire and support each other by sharing experiences like Yours.
        God alone knows how many of our companions we may help or even save
        by doing so. Thank You again.
        Pranam
      • purnakama2000
        Hi Abhinaba, This is the second time in almost as many days that I thanked someone on this site for their honesty. I m sorry to hear of your struggle, but I m
        Message 3 of 3 , Jun 7, 2008
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          Hi Abhinaba,

          This is the second time in almost as many days that I thanked
          someone on this site for their honesty.

          I'm sorry to hear of your struggle, but I'm so glad that you were
          brave enough to print it because it has helped me immensely and I'm
          sure that it has helped others as well.

          The roller coaster ride of emotions and erratic aspiration has
          definitely been true for me as well. Sometimes feeling very
          aspiring, then somehow allowing myself to sink, not even wanting to
          do the things that I know would help me.

          Like Guru talking about the bitterness of taking quinine for
          malaria. It tastes horrible at the time and you don't even want to
          take it, but you know that you must if you're going to get better.
          (unofficial anecdote).Sometimes you're not even sure if you want to
          get better because it feels easier just to stay where you are.
          Coming out of it feels like climbing Mt Everest.

          But what I've found since Guru's passing,like you mentioned with the
          prayer, is that when you take that step to pull yourself out of the
          quagmire, as difficult or painful as it feels, the relief is almost
          instant.
          I had that experience the other night when I had to give a class but
          was in what I felt was a horrible consciousness. All it took was
          opening up a book and reading one paragraph of Guru's writings, and
          I was cured and able to go and give the class happily and full of
          Guru's light and enthusiasm. It was like I wasn't even the same
          person.

          I think for all of us we are still transitioning and are still in
          for some ups and downs, but I see that we will soon come to an
          energetic equilibrium where we can better hold the balance of our
          inner life.

          I truly hope that you are feeling better, and just keep reading that
          prayer:)

          Purnakama
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