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OT Self-esteem seminars re-visited

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  • mahiruha_27
    Do you know a Naturally Skinny Person who keeps saying annoying things like: Gee, no matter how hard I try, I can t seem to gain any weight ? Well, dear
    Message 1 of 13 , Sep 12, 2007
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      Do you know a Naturally Skinny Person who keeps saying annoying things
      like: "Gee, no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to gain any weight"?

      Well, dear friends, Help Is On the Way!!!

      Studies* have shown that the best way to improve your self-image is
      to, ahem, cause unfortunate accidents to happen to people who are way
      too skinny and/or in shape, and who haven't dieted a day in their lives.

      And after all, who needs diets and exercise when it's so much easier
      to "off" the people who make us feel like overweight slobs?

      If the conventional methods of convenient conclusions are illegal in
      your state (and chances are if you can understand this they probably
      are!), you can try three things:

      1.Remember, skinny people usually aren't very smart. They're skinny
      because they actually believe all the ridiculous new-wave-fad doctors
      who advise people to eat nothing but lawn grass. They'll believe
      anything from anyone in a white lab coat. So, tell them, "You know,
      Andy (typical skinny-person designer name), I understand that eating
      broken glass is the best way to clean out your system." And voila!
      Problem solved. You can even "accidentally" drop a bottle of Perrier
      after you say this if you want faster results.


      2.Challenge the skinny person to some incredibly stupid and dangerous
      athletic event, like swimming across the Atlantic while strapped to a
      maco shark. Skinny people are often extremely proud of their physical
      prowess, and will take up any dare.

      3.Offer to send your skinny friends on an all-expense paid vacation to
      some pleasure resort in the Caribbean, and then pack your friends into
      a UPS box and mail them to Cleveland. The shock and disappointment
      they'll experience once they're let out should be enough to do them in.



      If you really lack the "heart" to terminate your skinny friends, then
      you do have one more option. Just remind skinny people that many of
      the greatest minds in history were embedded in fat bodies (i.e. Johann
      Sebastian Bach, Ben Jonson, Buddha). Eventually, your skinny friend
      will realize that the key to happiness and fame really does lie at the
      bottom of the twenty-pound sack of potato chips that you've been
      munching on while he's been stupidly sipping ice water. At that
      point, he'll probably feel embarrassed enough to buy you lunch.


      * The studies were conducted, performed and recorded by members of an
      extremely elite and top-secret think tank, which meets in my backyard,
      and who could not be reached for comment.


      This has been a public service announcement from the "Portion Control
      Is For Crash-test Dummies!!!" Foundation.
    • priyadarshan44
      That was simply delightful. And I am not saying that just because I belong to your foundation. Priyadarshan
      Message 2 of 13 , Sep 12, 2007
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        That was simply delightful.

        And I am not saying that just because I belong
        to your foundation.

        Priyadarshan
      • sharani_sharani
        What a laugh riot! The timing of this important announcement from the portion control foundation couldn t be better. While eating another calorie inducing (yes
        Message 3 of 13 , Sep 12, 2007
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          What a laugh riot! The timing of this important announcement from the
          portion control foundation couldn't be better. While eating another
          calorie inducing (yes inducing not reducing) breakfast at Bruce's
          Bakery in Great Neck on Sunday, the conversation turned to the world
          of Weight Watchers and the number of our friends who have joined and
          are shedding pounds quite noticeably.

          I half-heartedly tried to play devil's advocate and pontificated on
          the relationship between large people and big hearts. Then I tried to
          say that if someone is *too* thin, I cannot but help but think of
          eating disorders and haunting images of concentration camp victims.

          Well can't say I didn't try but it seems we are all probably going to
          check out the program too - I've lost 9 pounds since the end of June
          just through tools like http://www.calorie-count.com but nary a soul
          has noticed - not even my good friends who see me all the time. Guess
          it has to be more than that to become apparent. So now I'm gearing up
          for lots of lawn grass - yum, yum! Can I chase it with a Lindt truffle?

          Sharani
        • tejvan13
          ... The funny thing is that many years ago, we had one of those annoyingly thin persons ask this very same question:
          Message 4 of 13 , Sep 13, 2007
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            > Do you know a Naturally Skinny Person who keeps saying annoying > things
            > like: "Gee, no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to gain any weight"?


            The funny thing is that many years ago, we had one of those annoyingly
            thin persons ask this very same question:

            http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration/message/8533

            I don't know who that person is. But, I do know that he can still eat
            at least 4 cakes per day and remain 3 stone underweight.

            We all have a cross to bear, I guess.

            Regards,

            Tejvan


            P.S. Mahiruha - I look forward to our 250 mile bicycle ride next time
            I'm in NY. I'm sorry we didn't make it last August.

            P.P.S. I have to say that lawn grass is not as attractive as you make
            it out to be.
          • vasanti_hd
            Ice-cream works great - but it has to be rich in fat and eaten in huge quantities right before going to bed - great with whipped cream. More advice maybe from
            Message 5 of 13 , Sep 13, 2007
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              Ice-cream works great - but it has to be rich in fat and eaten in
              huge quantities right before going to bed - great with whipped cream.
              More advice maybe from Adhirata ...

              Vasanti
              (trying to shed some ice-cream pounds, I cane acriss a foolproof
              miracle diet: get up after breakfast, postpone lunch until dinner and
              go to bed before dinner. Not good for food-lovers, though.)

              Finally some jokes I once copied down for Sri Chinmoy who
              always enjoys innocent jokes and completely identifies with people
              trying to work on their weight:

              Two boys laughing at a fat woman. She looks at them and says: „I am
              fat and you are ugly. If I want, I can loose weight. But what will
              you do?"

              Doctor to fat man: „Boy, you have become heavy! At your weight, you
              should be at least two metres tall."
              Fat man: „Yes doctor, you are right. But I can eat as much as I want
              to – I just don't grow taller!"

              What is the easiest way for a married woman to get rid of a few
              excessive pounds? Get a divorce. (Hope this one will not be taken as
              offensive.)

              Garfield: I am not overweight - I am undertall.

              :)
            • cott_doris
              Vasanti, Vasanti! :-) I wish I could understand the mystery of gaining or not gaining weight. Doris
              Message 6 of 13 , Sep 13, 2007
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                Vasanti, Vasanti! :-)

                I wish I could understand the mystery of gaining or not gaining
                weight.

                Doris
              • johnji_nz
                Nice tale Mahiruha. I hope you remain in the grip of the whimsical for quite some time. ... As one who can put weight on from 2 meals a day, let alone cakes, I
                Message 7 of 13 , Sep 13, 2007
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                  Nice tale Mahiruha. I hope you remain in the grip of the whimsical for
                  quite some time.

                  > I don't know who that person is. But, I do know that he can still eat
                  > at least 4 cakes per day and remain 3 stone underweight.

                  As one who can put weight on from 2 meals a day, let alone cakes, I
                  can't say I sympathise with such a person. In fact I gained weight while
                  marathon training—figure that one out!

                  I put on 8 kilos (over a stone) weightlifting a few years back, and then
                  a few more pie-lifting, which has less long-term benefit but is
                  considerably more enjoyable to pursue.

                  We have an expression in this part of the world for people a few rolls
                  over a baker's dozen: "pie-eaters," as in "Who ate all the
                  pies?", and I got immense joy the other day by discovering that the
                  Australian rugby team's number one prop forward (normally the biggest
                  players on the field), Matt Dunning, who has, less than fondly, been
                  called a "Pie-Eater" here in New Zealand due to his less than
                  athletic appearance, is the 2006 World Pie Eating Champion
                  <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Pie_Eating_Championship> —an
                  example of life imitating art so perfect as to be beyond the poetic.

                  Somewhat tangentally, I am also reminded of several sayings of another
                  man of substantial girth, Sir Winston Churchill, who to my enduring
                  amusement was never one to let proprietary get in the way of a perfect
                  quote:


                  * Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if I were your wife, I'd poison your
                  tea.
                  Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.
                  * Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick
                  themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.
                  * Bessie Braddock: Sir, you are drunk.
                  Churchill: And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be
                  sober.
                  * On Clement Attlee: There's less to him than meets the eye.
                  * We didn't come this far because we are made of sugar candy.
                  * We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glowworm.

                  John-Paul
                • sharani_sharani
                  Now if we could only get Mahiruha to riff on the subject of tiredness as well. With an embarrassing sigh of relief, I m treasuring a quiet day off this Friday
                  Message 8 of 13 , Sep 14, 2007
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                    Now if we could only get Mahiruha to riff on the subject of tiredness
                    as well. With an embarrassing sigh of relief, I'm treasuring a quiet
                    day off this Friday - the first one spent at home since my work
                    schedule went on steroids after Labor Day.

                    The part of me that is a creature of habit is happy to have a former
                    night shift back again. However, the overall business of working two
                    night shifts which start 30-45 minutes earlier than before and staying
                    a little longer on day shift days is finding me in recuperation mode
                    by the time my alternating half days at the end of the week roll around.

                    Last weekend in the spirit of seeing the silver lining in the impact
                    of budget cuts on the job, I rushed off to NY after my now short
                    Friday shift. Once in NY, it was all I could do to stay awake during
                    the Friday night public seeker meditation. At least by Sunday, I was
                    revived enough to have a sweet meditation experience that I wrote
                    about here yesterday.

                    Maybe my riff can take comfort in the notion that as my job is
                    probably giving me a few new gray hairs, at least when I venture to
                    colour them at the hair salon I'll feel like I have enough gray to
                    feel like I'm getting my money's worth. Hopefully, with time this too
                    will eventually feel normal in my rollercoaster ride of change at work.

                    winkin, blinkin and noddin,
                    Sharani
                  • cott_doris
                    Dear Mahiruha, I sympathise with any kind of problems with others. But it is hard for me to appreciate this kind of humour. It is just too close to gossip. Why
                    Message 9 of 13 , Sep 14, 2007
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                      Dear Mahiruha,

                      I sympathise with any kind of problems with others. But it is hard
                      for me to appreciate this kind of humour. It is just too close to
                      gossip.

                      Why do we always have to feel our problem is the worst?

                      Doris

                      P.S. I was very touched by your introduction of the latest editiion
                      of "inspiration letters."
                    • sarah_inseattle
                      Hey Mahiruha and everyone, I totally appreciate the humor and frustration associated with weight struggles--- as in trying not to gain weight. Afterall, I am
                      Message 10 of 13 , Sep 14, 2007
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                        Hey Mahiruha and everyone,

                        I totally appreciate the humor and frustration associated with weight
                        struggles--- as in trying not to gain weight. Afterall, I am a
                        middle-aged woman. (!) However, may I just say something on behalf of
                        skinny people?

                        I was a skinny person well into my adulthood. I was just born that
                        way, or maybe my metabolism was high from anxiety or stress. In any
                        case, let me tell you, people literally *hated* me for being skinny.
                        I can remember eating in front of co-workers, who would say, and I
                        quote, "You're so skinny, you make me sick! I can't believe you can
                        just sit there and just eat [insert food here] without gaining
                        weight." I can't tell you the number of times I "made people sick."
                        Or they might say the actual words that they *hate* me for being so
                        skinny. Somehow, it was alright to comment on my weight and make
                        hostile, derogatory remarks in the name of thinness, whereas fatness
                        would have been totally off-limits. Maybe it was supposed to be okay
                        because "jealousy is a form of flattery," but let me tell you it hurt
                        my feelings because I felt their true resentment.

                        Fast forward to my years as a parent of teenagers. My own skinniness
                        is gone, but in the tradition of both my and my husband's skinny
                        youths, we now have a very skinny son. He has been teased so
                        mercilessly about being skinny, or told in no uncertain terms that
                        something is wrong with him, that for years he has not put on a pair
                        of shorts or a bathing suit, for fear of ridicule. No matter what the
                        temperature --- 102 degrees on a recent family vacation--- no matter
                        what the sport--- running, soccer, street hockey, swimming--- so
                        protective he is of not wanting to be teased. Some people have even
                        blamed his vegetarianism and have told him he needs to eat meat to
                        remedy the "problem."

                        So, please forgive me for feeling just a little pang at the idea of
                        wanting to "off" all the skinny people, even as a joke.

                        As for wishing that weight control was easier, I am all for all of
                        us.

                        Victory to our Souls!
                        Sarah
                        Seattle
                      • sharani_sharani
                        Hi Sarah, Humor rhymes with landmine sometimes despite one s good intentions. I really learned something from your post, never having been on the receiving
                        Message 11 of 13 , Sep 15, 2007
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                          Hi Sarah,
                          Humor rhymes with "landmine" sometimes despite one's good intentions.
                          I really learned something from your post, never having been on the
                          receiving end of taunts for being thin - my flavor of adolescence
                          instead being a steady stream of verbal haranguing from my peers about
                          being ugly. Nowadays I find it cosmically ironic that I'm sleeplessly
                          seeking and seeing beauty in the world around me despite my own
                          charged past history and complex relationship with the concept.

                          It is sad to see the human capacity for any excuse to feel separate
                          and divided from others. And if only it were true that remarks on
                          "fatness would have been totally off-limits" as you write in your
                          post. I would venture to guess that enormous cruelty has been
                          perpetrated against those who struggle with being overweight.

                          When I was in college almost 30 years ago, I used to get credits
                          toward graduation for teaching an awareness program to freshmen in the
                          dorms on opening the eyes of white students to the oppression
                          experienced by African-Americans in America. Until the means to help
                          someone walk a mile in someone else's shoes is provided, it is not
                          surprising that awareness is lacking.

                          I am thus glad for the greater awarenesss inside me created by your
                          post on the subject and apologize if you took offense in my enjoyment
                          of Mahiruha's style of humor. I place it in the lineage of Don Rickles
                          and Woody Allen and wouldn't be surprised if he would be reluctant to
                          off a flea. Well I can't think of anything else to say so I'll just
                          close with a poem by Sri Chinmoy


                          My Lord Supreme,
                          Do tell me what I am supposed to do
                          When I feel unloved.
                          "My child, you and I are
                          in the same boat.
                          Do not worry.
                          Our boat will one day definitely reach
                          The destination: Love infinite."
                          http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/sri-chinmoy-aspiration-plants/part231/90.html

                          Sharani
                        • clairegaian
                          Although a healthy weight now at 35, I was also a vile skinny person well into my 20 s. Mostly it was because of metabolism, running, anxiety, poverty, or
                          Message 12 of 13 , Sep 16, 2007
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                            Although a "healthy" weight now at 35, I was also a
                            'vile skinny person' well into my 20's. Mostly it was
                            because of metabolism, running, anxiety, poverty, or
                            some combinatoon. Also, I have just never been that
                            much of an "eater", and am often sufficently distrated
                            by art, reading, gardening, etc to remember to eat.
                            Also, if acquiring food is too much of a bother, I
                            just don't.

                            Like Sarah I have been the recipient of plenty of
                            hostility for not having weight struggles. This is
                            particularly noticable at my job. At one point, I was
                            the only one of hte 8 women in my department who was
                            NOT dieting, counting points, or discussing
                            food/diet/suplements/excercise all day long (really -
                            all day long).

                            My favorite exchanges, though, are those when a
                            coworker initiates a conversation about food, as in
                            "what'd you eat for lunch?" and I quite innocently
                            reply "Oh I forgot to eat lunch." This is not a
                            calcualted response, it's just the truth, with no
                            emotioanl charge on my part. It invariably incites
                            exaperastion (at least they don't hate me), and I seem
                            to find it quite amusing after the fact.

                            I have offered many times to give them some of my
                            disinterest in food. If it was possible, I would.
                            For my part, after I passed 30, found happiness and
                            financial stabilty, and gained me some weight, I was
                            relieved. Evenetually I gained a bit too much weight,
                            and was physically uncomfortable, but I was more
                            fascinated than upset by this turn of events.

                            I finally decided it was enough, stopped eating when I
                            wasn't hungry, & started to walk every day. I dropped
                            the pounds without much effort (incurring wrath &
                            wonder again) and now am happily maintainig. I feel
                            fortunate to have dodged the image-consciousness
                            bullet; I'm a lot more concerned with how I am doing
                            inwardly than how much I weigh or if my hair is nice! :)
                          • sarah_inseattle
                            Hi Sharani! No offense taken, by you or anybody else. I only posted to show another side. Love the aphorism you posted! Thanks for all your kind thoughts.
                            Message 13 of 13 , Sep 17, 2007
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                              Hi Sharani!

                              No offense taken, by you or anybody else. I only posted to show
                              another side.

                              Love the aphorism you posted! Thanks for all your kind thoughts.

                              Sarah
                              Seattle
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