Re: 'Twas the night before Christmas
- Dear AM and an amazing 2006 to you, too!
As you can see, I am using Text Edit rather than Email to write my message, so I hope the
moderators don't go crazy anymore trying to make sense of the line breakings, etc., or
whatever the problem was. Well, anyway...wanted to thank you also for taking my hand
and leading me down this path.
Also, I'm well aware of the Lemon Law here in NY state, but that is not where the problem
lies. I'm quite sure that Apple will come through with another iMac. What is standing in
the way is my not being home. Have been involved with something that has taken my
entire existence over. It seems that I will soon be able to deal with Apple and get some
satisfaction. BUT, am very appreciative of the trouble you went to. You're such a good
person -- on this path, there are lot of really nice people. I often say that one of the
greatest benefits is that Sri Chinmoy gathers all the angels of the world and makes it
possible to become good friends of any or all of them. (*+*)
Now, about your Christmas gift to me.... Yes, I enjoyed your Twas the Night Before..... and
thought it was marvelous -- and found myself chuckling along...
Tell me, AM, are you really Santa Claus?
Yes, you *are*!
--- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, assistantmummer <no_reply@y...>
> With apologies to Clement Clark Moore...
> 'Twas the night before Christmas, I was eating Velveeta;
> not a creature was stirring, not even Ashrita!
> When up from the ground sprang a bubblin' crude;
> a Beverly Hillbillies Christmas ensued.
> On Snoopy, James Stewart! On Rudolph, on Grinch!
> lift in more Christmas specials with a reindeer-powered winch.
> I'm jonesing for more televisual kitsching;
> it's coming on Christmas, it's time to be switching
> From holidays honoring soldiers and pumpkins,
> prognosticant groundhogs (that's one for the bumpkins!).
> Now our thoughts turn to sugarplums, gingerbread cookies,
> and cards to all relatives, neighbors, and bookies.
> On Walmart, on K-Mart! On Macy's and Klein's!
> I'd shopped till I dropped and was fully supine,
> When who should appear but Alberto Gonzales
> with a microphone, spycam, and jar of green olives.
> "I've been reading your e-mails," he said with a snicker;
> "You're a commie, a terrorist, rat, and nose-picker!"
> "Alberto," I said, "you are really a bummer.
> I'm none of those things; why, I'm only a mummer!"
> He proceeded to place me in handcuffs with glee,
> and impounded for testing my small Christmas tree.
> I politely enquired on his mental condition,
> but he just mumbled something 'bout "reindeer rendition."
> With that we were off to Guantanamo Bay,
> and that's where I spent nearly all Christmas day!
> With narry a trinket, a prize, or a fishbone;
> they called me a turkey, and pulled on my wishbone!
> My liberties civil were all but suspended,
> my holiday cheer was completely upended.
> Then an old bearded man in a jolly red suit
> appeared out of nowhere - with a hacksaw to boot!
> He freed me and gave me a box of cigars,
> then got back on his sledge and took off for the stars.
> I thanked old St. Nick, and I bade him farewell.
> "St. Nick? Idiota! Can't you see I'm Fidel?"
> Assistant Mummer
> Note: There are apparently over 839 variations on the original poem.
> Most of them are bad, and are documented here: