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confidence I need you

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  • bernice131313
    It s hard to maintain confidence in ourselves when we are subject to others criticisms. When that somebody is someone we look up to, it is perhaps the most
    Message 1 of 3 , Jul 31, 2005
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      It's hard to maintain confidence in ourselves when we are subject to
      others criticisms. When that somebody is someone we look up to, it
      is perhaps the most hurtful. This issue has been an ongoing one for
      me this year, surfacing in different circumstances with a variety of
      participants. I have so much to learn in this area and I'm certainly
      guilty of dishing out criticism myself.

      Sri Chinmoy's writings contain abundant material on the topic and I
      thought I'd copy some of the things that I've found valuable.



      Criticism takes away
      The very life-breath
      Of our peace-heart.


      http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/peace-god-heart-home/part1/32.html




      To avoid criticism,
      I do nothing.
      To avoid misunderstanding,
      I say nothing.
      To avoid competition,
      I become nothing.

      http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/sri-chinmoy-wings-light/part2/29.html




      If criticism frightens your heart,
      Then praise, without fails
      Will weaken-your life.


      http://tinyurl.com/87wzy




      Question: How can I not criticise others and what can I do when
      others criticise me? Sometimes I get very mad. 154

      Sri Chinmoy: When somebody criticises you, think of that person as an
      insect or worm and feel that you are the strongest and largest
      elephant. Since you are larger than the largest, you do not have to
      pay any attention to a little insect or worm. Vivekananda used to say
      that the elephant is going to the market for bananas and the dogs are
      barking. The elephant does not pay any attention to the dogs; he just
      goes to the market and eats bananas to his heart's content. So when
      others criticise you, you have to convince yourself that you are
      infinitely stronger than the criticism that you are getting. 155

      When you are inspired to criticise someone, immediately feel that
      what is disturbing you in the other person is some weakness that he
      has. Feel that the wrong thing that he or she is doing arises out of
      some deplorable weakness. Then try to feel that your criticism of the
      other person is only increasing his weakness and making it worse. 156

      Also, you have to feel that your criticism is causing all kinds of
      ailments inside the other person. Then try to pull these ailments
      into your own system-into your hands or legs or head. Immediately you
      will say, "My God, it is so painful, so painful!" Then you will see
      how much suffering you are causing that person. Or imagine that your
      words of criticism are like an arrow that you have hurled at the
      other person, and now his entire being is bleeding. When you see him
      bleeding, your sympathetic oneness will make you feel miserable. It
      is the same kind of sympathetic oneness that Lord Buddha felt when he
      picked up the bird that had been wounded with an arrow. 157

      When you identify yourself with the other person's suffering, you
      will feel, "No matter how imperfect and useless he is, I have no
      right to cause this kind of suffering in him. I have come into the
      world to establish my oneness with others and not to destroy others
      with my criticism." Then your heart of oneness will make you stop
      criticising the other person. These ideas I am giving you are very
      practical. 158

      Another thing you can do is to feel that your criticism of the other
      person, which you are cherishing in your being, is a very heavy load.
      Also, the other person's criticism of you is another heavy load that
      that person has thrust upon you. How can you move or even breathe if
      you are carrying two heavy loads on your shoulders? What you have to
      do is get rid of both loads. You have to cast them aside so that you
      can run the fastest towards your destination. 159

      Here is still another way. Each time you criticise someone, feel that
      you have created a black spot on the moon of his heart. By
      diminishing the beauty of his heart's inner moon, you can never get
      real joy. Also, you have to feel that if you criticise him, he also
      will criticise you and ruin the beauty of your inner moon. By
      destroying one another's inner beauty, neither one of you can be
      happy. So you have to feel that your happiness can come only with the
      other person's happiness; it has to be simultaneous. If you do not
      darken his moon, he will not darken yours, and both of you will be
      happy.

      http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/sri-chinmoy-answers/part7/56.html




      Never compromise,
      Never compromise,
      Even if you are under severe criticism.

      http://tinyurl.com/9qyjb



      To conclude, I really like this extract from Sri Chinmoy's
      book "Music - Ecstasy's Heart Hunger" about Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart-

      If you can remain unaffected, either when you are thrown into the
      abysmal abyss or when you are extolled to the skies, then you can
      achieve and offer something divinely great and supremely good. When
      the composer closes his eyes and ears to the world while composing,
      his inner eyes and inner ears see Heaven's beauty and hear Heaven's
      messages. Then he is unquestionably entitled to be in the galaxy of
      the Immortals.

      As Mozart writes to his father, "I pay no attention whatever to
      anybody's praise or blame....I simply follow my own feelings."


      http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/music-ecstasy-heart-hunger/12.html
    • jayita_2708
      Dear Bernice, Thankyou for sharing your thoughts and these beautiful aphorisms. Yes, it is a challenging task to stay strong and resolute when quite often,
      Message 2 of 3 , Aug 3, 2005
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        Dear Bernice,

        Thankyou for sharing your thoughts and these beautiful aphorisms.

        Yes, it is a challenging task to stay strong and resolute when quite
        often, people are criticising our thoughts or behaviour.

        Here are some further aphorisms on the topic;

        "Anybody can deceive you,
        But
        Deception is usually
        The profession of a rogue.
        Anybody can criticize you,
        But
        Criticism is usually
        The profession of a fool.
        Anybody can love you,
        But
        Love is usually
        The profession of a seeker.
        But nobody can perfect you,
        Save and except God."

        "How to overcome destructive criticism? Just love a little more.
        That's all."

        "Criticism is nothing short of a wisdom-barren-mind."

        "Just because you want to become
        A true truth-seeker
        And a perfect God-lover,
        Yours cannot be the life
        Of criticism and complaint-luxury."

        With oneness,
        Jayita

        --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, bernice131313
        <no_reply@y...> wrote:
        > It's hard to maintain confidence in ourselves when we are subject
        to
        > others criticisms. When that somebody is someone we look up to,
        it
        > is perhaps the most hurtful. This issue has been an ongoing one
        for
        > me this year, surfacing in different circumstances with a variety
        of
        > participants. I have so much to learn in this area and I'm
        certainly
        > guilty of dishing out criticism myself.
        >
        > Sri Chinmoy's writings contain abundant material on the topic and
        I
        > thought I'd copy some of the things that I've found valuable.
        >
        >
        >
        > Criticism takes away
        > The very life-breath
        > Of our peace-heart.
        >
        >
        > http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/peace-god-heart-home/part1/32.html
        >
        >
        >
        >
        > To avoid criticism,
        > I do nothing.
        > To avoid misunderstanding,
        > I say nothing.
        > To avoid competition,
        > I become nothing.
        >
        > http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/sri-chinmoy-wings-
        light/part2/29.html
        >
        >
        >
        >
        > If criticism frightens your heart,
        > Then praise, without fails
        > Will weaken-your life.
        >
        >
        > http://tinyurl.com/87wzy
        >
        >
        >
        >
        > Question: How can I not criticise others and what can I do when
        > others criticise me? Sometimes I get very mad. 154
        >
        > Sri Chinmoy: When somebody criticises you, think of that person as
        an
        > insect or worm and feel that you are the strongest and largest
        > elephant. Since you are larger than the largest, you do not have
        to
        > pay any attention to a little insect or worm. Vivekananda used to
        say
        > that the elephant is going to the market for bananas and the dogs
        are
        > barking. The elephant does not pay any attention to the dogs; he
        just
        > goes to the market and eats bananas to his heart's content. So
        when
        > others criticise you, you have to convince yourself that you are
        > infinitely stronger than the criticism that you are getting. 155
        >
        > When you are inspired to criticise someone, immediately feel that
        > what is disturbing you in the other person is some weakness that
        he
        > has. Feel that the wrong thing that he or she is doing arises out
        of
        > some deplorable weakness. Then try to feel that your criticism of
        the
        > other person is only increasing his weakness and making it worse.
        156
        >
        > Also, you have to feel that your criticism is causing all kinds of
        > ailments inside the other person. Then try to pull these ailments
        > into your own system-into your hands or legs or head. Immediately
        you
        > will say, "My God, it is so painful, so painful!" Then you will
        see
        > how much suffering you are causing that person. Or imagine that
        your
        > words of criticism are like an arrow that you have hurled at the
        > other person, and now his entire being is bleeding. When you see
        him
        > bleeding, your sympathetic oneness will make you feel miserable.
        It
        > is the same kind of sympathetic oneness that Lord Buddha felt when
        he
        > picked up the bird that had been wounded with an arrow. 157
        >
        > When you identify yourself with the other person's suffering, you
        > will feel, "No matter how imperfect and useless he is, I have no
        > right to cause this kind of suffering in him. I have come into the
        > world to establish my oneness with others and not to destroy
        others
        > with my criticism." Then your heart of oneness will make you stop
        > criticising the other person. These ideas I am giving you are very
        > practical. 158
        >
        > Another thing you can do is to feel that your criticism of the
        other
        > person, which you are cherishing in your being, is a very heavy
        load.
        > Also, the other person's criticism of you is another heavy load
        that
        > that person has thrust upon you. How can you move or even breathe
        if
        > you are carrying two heavy loads on your shoulders? What you have
        to
        > do is get rid of both loads. You have to cast them aside so that
        you
        > can run the fastest towards your destination. 159
        >
        > Here is still another way. Each time you criticise someone, feel
        that
        > you have created a black spot on the moon of his heart. By
        > diminishing the beauty of his heart's inner moon, you can never
        get
        > real joy. Also, you have to feel that if you criticise him, he
        also
        > will criticise you and ruin the beauty of your inner moon. By
        > destroying one another's inner beauty, neither one of you can be
        > happy. So you have to feel that your happiness can come only with
        the
        > other person's happiness; it has to be simultaneous. If you do not
        > darken his moon, he will not darken yours, and both of you will be
        > happy.
        >
        > http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/sri-chinmoy-answers/part7/56.html
        >
        >
        >
        >
        > Never compromise,
        > Never compromise,
        > Even if you are under severe criticism.
        >
        > http://tinyurl.com/9qyjb
        >
        >
        >
        > To conclude, I really like this extract from Sri Chinmoy's
        > book "Music - Ecstasy's Heart Hunger" about Wolfgang Amadeus
        Mozart-
        >
        > If you can remain unaffected, either when you are thrown into the
        > abysmal abyss or when you are extolled to the skies, then you can
        > achieve and offer something divinely great and supremely good.
        When
        > the composer closes his eyes and ears to the world while
        composing,
        > his inner eyes and inner ears see Heaven's beauty and hear
        Heaven's
        > messages. Then he is unquestionably entitled to be in the galaxy
        of
        > the Immortals.
        >
        > As Mozart writes to his father, "I pay no attention whatever to
        > anybody's praise or blame....I simply follow my own feelings."
        >
        >
        > http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/music-ecstasy-heart-hunger/12.html
      • sharani_sharani
        Hi Bernice, Did you also notice that our complementary posts (messages 14371 and 14372) sat side-by-side in the message index and were submitted within 20
        Message 3 of 3 , Aug 3, 2005
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          Hi Bernice,

          Did you also notice that our complementary posts (messages 14371 and
          14372) sat side-by-side in the message index and were submitted within
          20 minutes of each other? Quite a coincidence, huh? Your selections
          from Sri Chinmoy's writings on the subject of criticism and my
          recollection of an inner lesson from Sri Chinmoy on the sympathetic
          and affirming power of apology touch on a truly complex and difficult
          area to transform in our lives.

          I also found it uncanny that just the previous evening I had been
          reading about Lord Buddha's experience with the bird and the arrow in
          a book in the Compassion Miracles series written by Sri Chinmoy's
          students. (no it's not in the online library)

          The selections on criticism really provide much to ponder. The concept
          of marring each other's heart's inner moons really made me stop and
          think, but alas I can only guess how quickly I will probably hurl
          criticism arrows in the moment of feeling hurt or insecure.

          Another aspect of this topic which isn't expressed in your excerpts is
          the notion that often times what bothers us in another person is
          really just a projection of our own probably unconscious weakness. I
          cannot remember the name of the book, but some time back I read a
          psychology self-help type book which premised that virtually 100
          percent of the time our criticism of another person stems back
          ultimately to our own emotional and personal history.

          I wonder why we both tuned into this thread with such timing? Maybe
          it's our own way of musing on the question asked here in this forum
          about what exactly world harmony is all about...


          Sharani





          --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, bernice131313
          <no_reply@y...> wrote:
          > It's hard to maintain confidence in ourselves when we are subject
          to
          > others criticisms. When that somebody is someone we look up to, it
          > is perhaps the most hurtful. This issue has been an ongoing one for
          > me this year, surfacing in different circumstances with a variety
          of
          > participants. I have so much to learn in this area and I'm
          certainly
          > guilty of dishing out criticism myself.
          >
          > Sri Chinmoy's writings contain abundant material on the topic and I
          > thought I'd copy some of the things that I've found valuable.
          >
          >
          >
          > Criticism takes away
          > The very life-breath
          > Of our peace-heart.
          >
          >
          > http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/peace-god-heart-home/part1/32.html
          >
          >
          >
          >
          > To avoid criticism,
          > I do nothing.
          > To avoid misunderstanding,
          > I say nothing.
          > To avoid competition,
          > I become nothing.
          >
          > http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/sri-chinmoy-win
          gs-light/part2/29.html
          >
          >
          >
          >
          > If criticism frightens your heart,
          > Then praise, without fails
          > Will weaken-your life.
          >
          >
          > http://tinyurl.com/87wzy
          >
          >
          >
          >
          > Question: How can I not criticise others and what can I do when
          > others criticise me? Sometimes I get very mad. 154
          >
          > Sri Chinmoy: When somebody criticises you, think of that person as
          an
          > insect or worm and feel that you are the strongest and largest
          > elephant. Since you are larger than the largest, you do not have to
          > pay any attention to a little insect or worm. Vivekananda used to
          say
          > that the elephant is going to the market for bananas and the dogs
          are
          > barking. The elephant does not pay any attention to the dogs; he
          just
          > goes to the market and eats bananas to his heart's content. So when
          > others criticise you, you have to convince yourself that you are
          > infinitely stronger than the criticism that you are getting. 155
          >
          > When you are inspired to criticise someone, immediately feel that
          > what is disturbing you in the other person is some weakness that he
          > has. Feel that the wrong thing that he or she is doing arises out
          of
          > some deplorable weakness. Then try to feel that your criticism of
          the
          > other person is only increasing his weakness and making it worse.
          156
          >
          > Also, you have to feel that your criticism is causing all kinds of
          > ailments inside the other person. Then try to pull these ailments
          > into your own system-into your hands or legs or head. Immediately
          you
          > will say, "My God, it is so painful, so painful!" Then you will see
          > how much suffering you are causing that person. Or imagine that
          your
          > words of criticism are like an arrow that you have hurled at the
          > other person, and now his entire being is bleeding. When you see
          him
          > bleeding, your sympathetic oneness will make you feel miserable. It
          > is the same kind of sympathetic oneness that Lord Buddha felt when
          he
          > picked up the bird that had been wounded with an arrow. 157
          >
          > When you identify yourself with the other person's suffering, you
          > will feel, "No matter how imperfect and useless he is, I have no
          > right to cause this kind of suffering in him. I have come into the
          > world to establish my oneness with others and not to destroy others
          > with my criticism." Then your heart of oneness will make you stop
          > criticising the other person. These ideas I am giving you are very
          > practical. 158
          >
          > Another thing you can do is to feel that your criticism of the
          other
          > person, which you are cherishing in your being, is a very heavy
          load.
          > Also, the other person's criticism of you is another heavy load
          that
          > that person has thrust upon you. How can you move or even breathe
          if
          > you are carrying two heavy loads on your shoulders? What you have
          to
          > do is get rid of both loads. You have to cast them aside so that
          you
          > can run the fastest towards your destination. 159
          >
          > Here is still another way. Each time you criticise someone, feel
          that
          > you have created a black spot on the moon of his heart. By
          > diminishing the beauty of his heart's inner moon, you can never get
          > real joy. Also, you have to feel that if you criticise him, he also
          > will criticise you and ruin the beauty of your inner moon. By
          > destroying one another's inner beauty, neither one of you can be
          > happy. So you have to feel that your happiness can come only with
          the
          > other person's happiness; it has to be simultaneous. If you do not
          > darken his moon, he will not darken yours, and both of you will be
          > happy.
          >
          > http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/sri-chinmoy-answers/part7/56.html
          >
          >
          >
          >
          > Never compromise,
          > Never compromise,
          > Even if you are under severe criticism.
          >
          > http://tinyurl.com/9qyjb
          >
          >
          >
          > To conclude, I really like this extract from Sri Chinmoy's
          > book "Music - Ecstasy's Heart Hunger" about Wolfgang Amadeus
          Mozart-
          >
          > If you can remain unaffected, either when you are thrown into the
          > abysmal abyss or when you are extolled to the skies, then you can
          > achieve and offer something divinely great and supremely good. When
          > the composer closes his eyes and ears to the world while composing,
          > his inner eyes and inner ears see Heaven's beauty and hear Heaven's
          > messages. Then he is unquestionably entitled to be in the galaxy of
          > the Immortals.
          >
          > As Mozart writes to his father, "I pay no attention whatever to
          > anybody's praise or blame....I simply follow my own feelings."
          >
          >
          > http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/music-ecstasy-heart-hunger/12.html
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