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The power of apology

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  • sharani_sharani
    A memory came back to me the other day of a powerful moment of inner assurance and wisdom. It has to do with the power of apology. Now at least in my
    Message 1 of 3 , Jul 31, 2005
      A memory came back to me the other day of a powerful moment of inner
      assurance and wisdom. It has to do with the power of apology. Now at
      least in my conscious awareness I didn't commit a huge faux pas on the
      weekend or imagine some grievance which would get me to thinking about
      apologies, but here I am remembering it and share it in case it
      resonates with the import I found in it.

      While in China last winter, I found myself in a situation where
      despite directions and supposed guidance, I was among a bunch of our
      group that managed to get rather lost trying to reach our intended
      destination. As you can all imagine, we have many stories of visible
      and invisible grace raining constantly in our lives so the story ended
      happily enough with last minute jumps into taxis to finally get back
      on track.

      After all was said and done, I approached someone involved in the
      organization of it to see if they knew of our "woe" and fully expected
      a sympathetic ear. They must have already heard an earful from one too
      many people besides me to be inclined to feel sympathetic. I was
      pretty sure that I hadn't come across angrily and felt a little
      dejected as I walked away perceiving nothing but defensiveness in
      response to my question.

      Shortly after the interaction, I heard a voice of sorts inside my head
      say "Just tell yourself that they said I'm sorry you had this
      unfortunate experience." I took the suggestion to heart and decided to
      imagine that indeed this is what happened.

      To my own amazement, these simple imagined words flooded me with a
      feeling of peace. I let go of my upset and unsettled feeling about the
      experience and felt a kind of awe in observing just how much the
      simple phrase "I'm sorry" assuaged me. It quite simply dissolved all
      that had bothered me and opened a bit of a doorway to let me also take
      responsibility for the truth that it wasn't really anybody else's
      "fault" if I goofed up in following directions that were written as
      well as could be managed. Mistakes happen a dime a dozen and in some
      respects I had overreacted to the whole mishap.

      I don't completely understand why apology is as powerful as it is, but
      this experience reminded me of just how profound it can be in the
      sometimes himalayan task of fostering harmony in our dealings with one
      another.

      Sharani
    • doriscott20002000
      Special thanks for this article, Sharani. I don t know why, but I am often in situations like that. Again and again we have to apologize for the sake of
      Message 2 of 3 , Aug 2 5:47 AM
        Special thanks for this article, Sharani. I don't know why, but I am
        often in situations like that. Again and again we "have to" apologize
        for the sake of peace and harmony and for the awareness that things
        happen out of misunderstandings. I think this is actually your power
        of forgiveness. As soon as I am able to forgive and forget about an
        ongoing and ongoing experience I find back to peace of mind.

        I was reminded of something that Sri Chinmoy advises us to do: to
        forget about the past and not to think of the future, even when
        something unfortunate happened five minutes ago. What a wisdom.

        I noticed that there is a kind of program running in the mind that
        tells me how I have to react in what situation or circumstances. But
        no. Why? It´s a great relief to FEEL that I don't depend on my
        thoughts.

        We are free to see what we want to see and we are free to feel what
        we want to feel.

        Your way of apologizing I like particularly in a way like "WOW."

        Sometimes people can not value the power of forgiveness. They may
        feel it is something weak. I feel strenghtened by a movie I watched
        recently about an shaolin priest who spend his childhood in a temple
        and had to go through certain experiences after leaving it. At the
        moment I don't remember the exact title. Maybe it was "Kung Fu."

        I don't want to talk to much, thank you again for your article.

        Doris






        --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, sharani_sharani
        <no_reply@y...> wrote:
        > A memory came back to me the other day of a powerful moment of inner
        > assurance and wisdom. It has to do with the power of apology. Now
        at
        > least in my conscious awareness I didn't commit a huge faux pas on
        the
        > weekend or imagine some grievance which would get me to thinking
        about
        > apologies, but here I am remembering it and share it in case it
        > resonates with the import I found in it.
        >
        > While in China last winter, I found myself in a situation where
        > despite directions and supposed guidance, I was among a bunch of our
        > group that managed to get rather lost trying to reach our intended
        > destination. As you can all imagine, we have many stories of visible
        > and invisible grace raining constantly in our lives so the story
        ended
        > happily enough with last minute jumps into taxis to finally get back
        > on track.
        >
        > After all was said and done, I approached someone involved in the
        > organization of it to see if they knew of our "woe" and fully
        expected
        > a sympathetic ear. They must have already heard an earful from one
        too
        > many people besides me to be inclined to feel sympathetic. I was
        > pretty sure that I hadn't come across angrily and felt a little
        > dejected as I walked away perceiving nothing but defensiveness in
        > response to my question.
        >
        > Shortly after the interaction, I heard a voice of sorts inside my
        head
        > say "Just tell yourself that they said I'm sorry you had this
        > unfortunate experience." I took the suggestion to heart and decided
        to
        > imagine that indeed this is what happened.
        >
        > To my own amazement, these simple imagined words flooded me with a
        > feeling of peace. I let go of my upset and unsettled feeling about
        the
        > experience and felt a kind of awe in observing just how much the
        > simple phrase "I'm sorry" assuaged me. It quite simply dissolved all
        > that had bothered me and opened a bit of a doorway to let me also
        take
        > responsibility for the truth that it wasn't really anybody else's
        > "fault" if I goofed up in following directions that were written as
        > well as could be managed. Mistakes happen a dime a dozen and in some
        > respects I had overreacted to the whole mishap.
        >
        > I don't completely understand why apology is as powerful as it is,
        but
        > this experience reminded me of just how profound it can be in the
        > sometimes himalayan task of fostering harmony in our dealings with
        one
        > another.
        >
        > Sharani
      • morrisklein27
        Beautifully written, Sharani- as always! I love how you blend craft and inspiration in all of your articles, and in simple language that everyone can
        Message 3 of 3 , Aug 2 9:11 PM
          Beautifully written, Sharani- as always! I love how you blend craft
          and inspiration in all of your articles, and in simple language that
          everyone can understand. Yet, you challenge us to see ourselves
          honestly and clearly. We should never take anything or anyone for
          granted. That's what I take from your writing and I'm very,
          sincerely grateful to you for this.

          It's rare to find a writer like you who tells it just as it is!



          Morris


          --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, sharani_sharani
          <no_reply@y...> wrote:
          > A memory came back to me the other day of a powerful moment of inner
          > assurance and wisdom. It has to do with the power of apology. Now
          at
          > least in my conscious awareness I didn't commit a huge faux pas on
          the
          > weekend or imagine some grievance which would get me to thinking
          about
          > apologies, but here I am remembering it and share it in case it
          > resonates with the import I found in it.
          >
          > While in China last winter, I found myself in a situation where
          > despite directions and supposed guidance, I was among a bunch of our
          > group that managed to get rather lost trying to reach our intended
          > destination. As you can all imagine, we have many stories of visible
          > and invisible grace raining constantly in our lives so the story
          ended
          > happily enough with last minute jumps into taxis to finally get back
          > on track.
          >
          > After all was said and done, I approached someone involved in the
          > organization of it to see if they knew of our "woe" and fully
          expected
          > a sympathetic ear. They must have already heard an earful from one
          too
          > many people besides me to be inclined to feel sympathetic. I was
          > pretty sure that I hadn't come across angrily and felt a little
          > dejected as I walked away perceiving nothing but defensiveness in
          > response to my question.
          >
          > Shortly after the interaction, I heard a voice of sorts inside my
          head
          > say "Just tell yourself that they said I'm sorry you had this
          > unfortunate experience." I took the suggestion to heart and decided
          to
          > imagine that indeed this is what happened.
          >
          > To my own amazement, these simple imagined words flooded me with a
          > feeling of peace. I let go of my upset and unsettled feeling about
          the
          > experience and felt a kind of awe in observing just how much the
          > simple phrase "I'm sorry" assuaged me. It quite simply dissolved all
          > that had bothered me and opened a bit of a doorway to let me also
          take
          > responsibility for the truth that it wasn't really anybody else's
          > "fault" if I goofed up in following directions that were written as
          > well as could be managed. Mistakes happen a dime a dozen and in some
          > respects I had overreacted to the whole mishap.
          >
          > I don't completely understand why apology is as powerful as it is,
          but
          > this experience reminded me of just how profound it can be in the
          > sometimes himalayan task of fostering harmony in our dealings with
          one
          > another.
          >
          > Sharani
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