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Re: How I Came to Sri Chinmoy's Path to Shane

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  • shane_dublincentre
    Hi Niriha, Before we start handing out the developed seeker accolades just yet, I think I should point out that it s much easier to take that step towards a
    Message 1 of 24 , Mar 31, 2005
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      Hi Niriha,

      Before we start handing out the 'developed seeker' accolades just yet,
      I think I should point out that it's much easier to take that step
      towards a spiritual life now than it was thirty years ago. The main
      reason is that there are far more people on Sri Chinmoy's path now
      than there was back then, and a seeker is able to meet with and make
      friends with people who have been meditating on the path for 10 or 20
      or 30 years and see the difference the spiritual life has wrought.
      It's as if you can say "Yup, that's me in 10, 20, 20 years. I like the
      sound of that." Also I think meditation has become a little more
      accepted (around here anyways, I don't know about your neck of the
      woods), even if only as a lifestyle accessory, the notion of a path
      and spiritual Teacher is still unheard of to most.

      I think it's also a lot easier to keep a steady keel - In the early
      days everyone was largely clueless as to what was expected on a
      spiritul path and more likely to do things detrimental to their
      spiritual wellbeing without even realising it, so Sri Chinmoy had to
      correct them more often than nowadays. I feel all you older students
      have taken these corrections on our behalf, and we have your advice
      and counsel to stop us making similar mistakes. Also of course the
      other reason I've so far kept my nose clean (at least not on the
      outward plane) is the spatial distance; you were under Guru's nose
      much of the time, whereas there's a fairly hefty ocean separating me
      from New York, and there's usually enough time for wiser heads in the
      Dublin Centre to rein in my excesses so Sri Chinmoy need not be
      troubled with them. :)

      The weightlifting was something that was on my mind when I wrote my
      original reply to you - I was in New York in November for the
      weightlifting anniversary and I was helping out a little bit with
      moving stuff around and getting to see everything from close quarters.
      A team of us were lugging around weights and statues and fishtanks
      and whatnot that Sri Chinmoy has just lifted, disassembling the
      lifting apparatus and seeing how simple it is in its construction;
      there is no way your mind can evade what Guru is doing here. And you
      stand there and realise Sri Chinmoy is trying to tell you something
      through this lifting, trying to tell the world something but primarily
      his students because they're better equipped to listen....I was
      telling a friend of mine about the weightlifting who meditates under
      the guidance of a Tibetan Buddhist Master, a path with a bigger
      emphasis on concrete transmissable teachings than ours: "Dont you
      understand? He's teaching you that you can lift elephants; for
      Chrissake, he's teaching you how to lift elephants. That there's the
      teaching.", he exclaimed, striking one hand forcefully on another to
      emphasize the 'that'. And standing there amidst all the weights, it
      was indeed as if a tiny window opened up inside me through which
      understanding struggled its way through...

      Still another part of me remained rigid, refused to be shocked,
      amazed, awed. And I was annoyed. Sri Chinmoy puts himself through so
      much to lift those weights, I remember reading that after one
      weightlifting performance he couldnt even walk afterwards; in a
      perfect world he should only have to go through all that pain once for
      me to fully "get it". I was thinking about this when I wrote my reply
      to you, Niriha, I was thinking that one might wish for dramatic
      experiences but along comes one in the slightly more earthly guise of
      weightlifting and much of it is lost on me. Thankfully, Sri Chinmoy
      never stops trying to ensure that we will indeed one day "get it"...

      Colm won't be coming this time, unfortunately. However he's turned
      himself into a bit of a media star recently, so I might have a few
      tapes to show you :)

      Shane


      --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, niriha7
      <no_reply@y...> wrote:
      >
      > Now see Shane, that is the difference between a developed seeker and
      > an immature one. You were consciously looking for self-improvement -
      > for more meditation techniques whereas I did not have the discipline
      > to even meditate except on rare occasions though I thought of it
      > often and a friend had shown me an easy and effective beginner¡¦s
      > technique. (See your influence? That was a long sentence). And
      > what¡¦s more, when given the chance, I tried to beg off. The point of
      > my story of course is how powerfully and compassionately the divine
      > energy can work in us and how an enlightened spiritual master can
      > work with all levels of development. You did not give Guru a lot of
      > trouble. Well, at least not in the beginning. ļ
      >
      > This path does seem to be many paths in one. I often say that it is
      > possible to see a sampling of the world in Sri Chinmoy¡¦s students.
      > Also, we have only to look at the multifarious fields that he has
      > manifested his divinity in and through to understand that his path
      > would naturally attract all kinds. One of the best examples of this
      > that has always intrigued me is in the area of weightlifting. I am
      > so amused and touched when I see these large sized guys wanting to
      > have a photo with Guru and putting a large, muscular arm around
      > Guru's shoulder. The visuals are made even more striking because the
      > audience has just witnessed that Sri Chinmoy who is diminutive in
      > size compared to these men, just lifted these ¡§giants¡¨. With such
      > pride and affection they stand there with him. I hold my breath
      > however when they decide to give Guru a hug.
      >
      > If Colm comes for celebrations, please introduce him to me. Niriha
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, shane_dublincentre
      > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > > hi niriha...
      > >
      > > I think youve just written the lead article for this web page that
      > > everyone's talking about... :)
      > >
      > > I read articles like this and think "Wow, this path seems sometimes
      > > all paths within one; so many different personalities on it, so many
      > > different ways to advance upon it, so many different circumstances
      > > under which people have found it in the first place..." For example,
      > > my essay as to how I joined the path would go a little like this:
      > >
      > > ************
      > >
      > > How I Came to Sri Chinmoys Path - by Shane
      > >
      > > Saw meditation poster and figured I could use a few extra
      > techniques.
      > > Liked what I saw. Had reservations about the lifestyle. Told myself
      > to
      > > just take it one day at a time. Wow, I'm still here.
      > >
      > > *************
      > >
      > > Now, youll find this essay in Mahabaratised form on my web page, but
      > > even with the added flickers and flourishes I still dont think youll
      > > find an experience as dramatic as Niriha's there. I don't mind in
      > the
      > > slightest. I think there are people who need something like that and
      > > then there are others on whom the same experience would completely
      > be
      > > lost. My life tends to be full enough of bombastic drama on the
      > outer
      > > plane anyways, I think a lifetime of steady gradual assured growth
      > is
      > > just the ticket to level me out a bit.
      > >
      > > Still, I do like hearing about everyone else's stories :)
      > >
      > > Shane
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, niriha7
      > > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
      > > >
      > > >
      > > >
      > > >
      > > > To Sarah in Seattle (who asked), and to any seeker or aspirant who
      > > > feels that the "leap of faith" is just too daunting.
      > > >
      > > >
      > > > How I Came To Sri Chinmoy's Path
      > > >
      > > > In the early seventies I graduated from college and decided to
      > > > postpone graduate school. Shortly after graduating, I went on a
      > four
      > > > week trip to Russia which was organized by a professor of Russian
      > > > language and literature from my school. A wealthy person who was
      > > > planning to join the tour had to cancel at the last minute and
      > > > requested that a student be selected to replace her. She would pay
      > > > for that student to make the trip, since it was too late for her
      > to
      > > > receive a refund. I was selected solely on enthusiasm and that is
      > > > the truth!
      > > >
      > > > After returning home, I worked for one year in a field related to
      > > > what I intended to study in graduate school ¡V psychology ¡V trying
      > to
      > > > determine if becoming a therapist was truly something I wanted to
      > > > do. During that year, a friend told me about some inexpensive
      > > > charter flights to Europe. I already had a passport, had saved
      > > > enough money from working during the year, and was intrigued at
      > the
      > > > chance to travel - though I did not know anyone in Europe.
      > > >
      > > > After almost seven months of wandering around Europe by myself and
      > > > thoroughly enjoying it, every minute of every day, I did not want
      > to
      > > > come home. I was not concerned over how I would support myself
      > > > there, as I had a few ideas. Besides, in those seven months I had
      > > > learned to live on very little. If I returned home, there was a
      > > > possibility of a very good job in my chosen field, but I had a
      > > > feeling that once home I would find that it was not available.
      > After
      > > > all, I had written from Europe of my continuing interest in the
      > job
      > > > and had not received a reply. (It turned out that the department
      > > > head who had promised me the job had gone on to greener pastures.)
      > > > During my travels I had dropped plans for graduate school ¡V at
      > least
      > > > for the time being. The idea of going back to an academic setting
      > > > after sixteen years of it and after experiencing the freedom I
      > felt
      > > > in my travels did not feel right.
      > > >
      > > > So it seemed that it would be wonderful to live in Europe, as
      > > > "freedom" had become my quest...if only this nagging feeling that
      > I
      > > > HAD to return home would just leave me. It did not - so I returned
      > > > to the U.S. and worked at a nondescript job for six months on the
      > > > east coast before heading out to San Francisco.
      > > >
      > > > One day, I met my brother for lunch. He had lived in San Francisco
      > > > for about two years and had just become a student of Sri Chinmoy.
      > He
      > > > told me about his spiritual path. I recall thinking that my
      > brother
      > > > had a great spiritual master because he is a developed soul,
      > whereas
      > > > it would be impossible for me to have such a master because -
      > well,
      > > > it seemed to me that I was not advanced enough. I was happy for
      > him.
      > > > Some days after hearing of my brother's changed life, I recall
      > > > thinking that my brother had joined a group and therefore was not
      > as
      > > > free as I was. Back and forth my mind traveled between these two
      > > > points of view: how fortunate my brother is to have a great
      > > > spiritual master; how lucky I am to be so free whereas my brother
      > is
      > > > not since he belongs to a group. I equated freedom with "flying
      > > > solo."
      > > >
      > > > Seven months after my brother had told me about his spiritual
      > > > master, I had a dream in which Sri Chinmoy appeared to me: I was
      > to
      > > > play a classical guitar piece for an audience and was very nervous
      > > > as I waited to go on stage. A man in long white garments whom I
      > had
      > > > not seen before came to me and looked at me with deep compassion.
      > I
      > > > felt a peaceful flow of energy go through me. I went out onto the
      > > > stage and started playing. My fingers danced over the strings
      > > > effortlessly. The music was breathlessly beautiful and was being
      > > > played through me. Delight and more delight I felt. In the dream I
      > > > said to myself, "Oh, so this is what 'it' is like" ¡V "it" of
      > course
      > > > referring to what one would experience if ego were not present in
      > > > what one was doing. When I saw Sri Chinmoy for the first time, I
      > > > realized that he had been the person in the dream who had appeared
      > > > before me.
      > > >
      > > > Three months after the dream, Sri Chinmoy came to San Francisco
      > and
      > > > offered a concert and meditation at a beautiful sacred space
      > there.
      > > > My brother invited me and I had planned to go, but was so tired
      > > > after a long day of working that at 7:30 p.m., the start time of
      > the
      > > > concert, I was dozing on my sofa. Then I felt a flow of energy
      > just
      > > > as I had felt in the dream a couple of months earlier. For some
      > > > reason, I understood that this meant that I had to go to the
      > > > concert. Fortunately, I lived only three blocks from the venue. I
      > > > literally dragged myself there and sat in the very last row as the
      > > > large space was filled to capacity. I very much enjoyed the music
      > I
      > > > heard, and felt deeply peaceful from the atmosphere there.
      > > >
      > > > At the end of the concert, an announcement was made inviting
      > anyone
      > > > who wished to come up and meditate personally with Sri Chinmoy. I
      > > > went up with many other members of the audience and stood in a
      > large
      > > > semi-circle. I felt it would be such a blessing to meditate with
      > > > this great spiritual master and I wanted a closer look since I had
      > > > been sitting so far back.
      > > >
      > > > Sri Chinmoy stood facing us with his hands folded. He meditated
      > one
      > > > by one on each aspirant. As I stood there, tears started
      > > > spontaneously flowing. I had a clear feeling that he had known me
      > > > "forever" and that I had known him "forever." I felt as though I
      > was
      > > > standing before "divinity on earth." I deeply and spontaneously
      > > > wanted to "fall on my knees," but with utmost restraint prohibited
      > > > myself from doing this. By the time Sri Chinmoy was looking
      > directly
      > > > at me, I could no longer see him clearly ¡V not because of my tears
      > > > but because his form appeared as pure light with only a vague
      > > > outline of his physical form visible to me. As he was meditating
      > on
      > > > me, unmistakably I inwardly heard the words, "If you take this
      > step,
      > > > there is no turning back." At once it became clear to me that if I
      > > > were to "step upon the spiritual path," this would be a decision
      > > > like no other I had ever made or ever would make. In no way did I
      > > > feel capable of such a commitment.
      > > >
      > > > Because I had arrived late, I was not sitting with my brother.
      > After
      > > > everything was over, he came up to me and said, "Sri Chinmoy will
      > > > meet privately with seekers who wish to become his students. Would
      > > > you like to ask to become his student?" I looked at him silently
      > for
      > > > a moment and then quietly said, "No."
      > > >
      > > > In a matter of fact way, my brother then asked if I would like to
      > > > accompany him to the meeting where students of Sri Chinmoy and
      > those
      > > > requesting to become his students would meet. I thanked him and
      > said
      > > > that I would enjoy accompanying him.
      > > >
      > > > At this meeting, the seekers went up one by one to meditate with
      > Sri
      > > > Chinmoy. They were told that Sri Chinmoy sees clearly if one is
      > > > meant for his path or if a different path would be more suitable
      > for
      > > > the aspirant. For this reason, he meditates with each person
      > > > individually.
      > > >
      > > > As I sat there watching each person go in front of Sri Chinmoy and
      > > > meditate with him, an increasingly strong feeling that I had to go
      > > > up and meditate with him and become his student developed inside
      > of
      > > > me.
      > > >
      > > > Frankly, it is impossible to describe the inner command I
      > > > experienced. Immediately I recognized this feeling as similar to
      > the
      > > > feeling that compelled me to return home from Europe, and the
      > > > feeling that urged me to attend the concert and meditation ¡V only
      > > > this time the inner command was far more powerful. It was coming
      > > > from the deepest part of myself.
      > > >
      > > > After everyone who wished to become a student of meditation with
      > Sri
      > > > Chinmoy had gone up, and that portion of the meeting was seemingly
      > > > finished, I somehow found myself standing in front of Sri Chinmoy.
      > > > He gave me a beautiful, sweet and at the same time powerful smile.
      > > > After some minutes, I returned to my seat not quite believing that
      > > > basically, I had just asked to become his student!
      > > >
      > > > I returned to my apartment knowing that when I received a phone
      > call
      > > > the next morning telling me if I had been accepted as Sri
      > Chinmoy's
      > > > student, that would be it. I would have to "take that step."
      > > >
      > > > I sat up until the wee hours of the morning chanting silently,
      > > > "Please do not accept me. Please know that I am not ready. Please
      > do
      > > > not accept me. Please know that I am not ready." Over and over and
      > > > over I silently chanted my mantra: "Please do not accept me Please
      > > > know that I am not ready."
      > > >
      > > > The next morning I received a phone call. "Hello, good morning. I
      > > > want to tell you that Sri Chinmoy has accepted you as his
      > student."
      > > >
      > > > I swallowed hard and said, "Oh, um that is great. Thank you."
      > > >
      > > > By now you have either stopped reading or you are asking with some
      > > > exasperation, "If you felt so reluctant, why did you not just say
      > > > that you had changed your mind or that you did not want to do this
      > > > after all?"
      > > >
      > > > My reply would be, "When God, an enlightened spiritual master, and
      > > > your own soul get together with a plan for your very existence,
      > your
      > > > little "i" does not stand a chance of asserting itself." Thank
      > God!
    • colmbolmcolm
      Hi Niriha, I don t think I can better any of the compliments of your wonderful story. All I can say is that I thoroughly enjoyed it! Oh and you definately win
      Message 2 of 24 , Mar 31, 2005
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        Hi Niriha,

        I don't think I can better any of the compliments of your wonderful
        story. All I can say is that I thoroughly enjoyed it! Oh and you
        definately win the prize for best statement of the week:
        "You did not give Guru a lot of trouble. Well, at least not in the
        beginning."
        ...I'm still chuckling to myself!

        P.S. I unfortunately won't be over for celebrations but hopefully
        will be over before the end of the year.
        -=>Colm.




        --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, niriha7
        <no_reply@y...> wrote:
        >
        >
        >
        > Now see Shane, that is the difference between a developed seeker
        and
        > an immature one. You were consciously looking for self-
        improvement -
        > for more meditation techniques whereas I did not have the
        discipline
        > to even meditate except on rare occasions though I thought of it
        > often and a friend had shown me an easy and effective
        beginner¡¦s
        > technique. (See your influence? That was a long sentence). And
        > what¡¦s more, when given the chance, I tried to beg off. The
        point of
        > my story of course is how powerfully and compassionately the
        divine
        > energy can work in us and how an enlightened spiritual master can
        > work with all levels of development. You did not give Guru a lot
        of
        > trouble. Well, at least not in the beginning. ļ
        >
        > This path does seem to be many paths in one. I often say that it
        is
        > possible to see a sampling of the world in Sri Chinmoy¡¦s
        students.
        > Also, we have only to look at the multifarious fields that he has
        > manifested his divinity in and through to understand that his path
        > would naturally attract all kinds. One of the best examples of
        this
        > that has always intrigued me is in the area of weightlifting. I
        am
        > so amused and touched when I see these large sized guys wanting to
        > have a photo with Guru and putting a large, muscular arm around
        > Guru's shoulder. The visuals are made even more striking because
        the
        > audience has just witnessed that Sri Chinmoy who is diminutive in
        > size compared to these men, just lifted these ¡§giants¡¨.
        With
        such
        > pride and affection they stand there with him. I hold my breath
        > however when they decide to give Guru a hug.
        >
        > If Colm comes for celebrations, please introduce him to me. Niriha
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, shane_dublincentre
        > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > hi niriha...
        > >
        > > I think youve just written the lead article for this web page
        that
        > > everyone's talking about... :)
        > >
        > > I read articles like this and think "Wow, this path seems
        sometimes
        > > all paths within one; so many different personalities on it, so
        many
        > > different ways to advance upon it, so many different
        circumstances
        > > under which people have found it in the first place..." For
        example,
        > > my essay as to how I joined the path would go a little like this:
        > >
        > > ************
        > >
        > > How I Came to Sri Chinmoys Path - by Shane
        > >
        > > Saw meditation poster and figured I could use a few extra
        > techniques.
        > > Liked what I saw. Had reservations about the lifestyle. Told
        myself
        > to
        > > just take it one day at a time. Wow, I'm still here.
        > >
        > > *************
        > >
        > > Now, youll find this essay in Mahabaratised form on my web page,
        but
        > > even with the added flickers and flourishes I still dont think
        youll
        > > find an experience as dramatic as Niriha's there. I don't mind
        in
        > the
        > > slightest. I think there are people who need something like that
        and
        > > then there are others on whom the same experience would
        completely
        > be
        > > lost. My life tends to be full enough of bombastic drama on the
        > outer
        > > plane anyways, I think a lifetime of steady gradual assured
        growth
        > is
        > > just the ticket to level me out a bit.
        > >
        > > Still, I do like hearing about everyone else's stories :)
        > >
        > > Shane
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, niriha7
        > > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
        > > >
        > > >
        > > >
        > > >
        > > > To Sarah in Seattle (who asked), and to any seeker or aspirant
        who
        > > > feels that the "leap of faith" is just too daunting.
        > > >
        > > >
        > > > How I Came To Sri Chinmoy's Path
        > > >
        > > > In the early seventies I graduated from college and decided to
        > > > postpone graduate school. Shortly after graduating, I went on
        a
        > four
        > > > week trip to Russia which was organized by a professor of
        Russian
        > > > language and literature from my school. A wealthy person who
        was
        > > > planning to join the tour had to cancel at the last minute and
        > > > requested that a student be selected to replace her. She would
        pay
        > > > for that student to make the trip, since it was too late for
        her
        > to
        > > > receive a refund. I was selected solely on enthusiasm and that
        is
        > > > the truth!
        > > >
        > > > After returning home, I worked for one year in a field related
        to
        > > > what I intended to study in graduate school ¡V psychology
        ¡V
        trying
        > to
        > > > determine if becoming a therapist was truly something I wanted
        to
        > > > do. During that year, a friend told me about some inexpensive
        > > > charter flights to Europe. I already had a passport, had saved
        > > > enough money from working during the year, and was intrigued
        at
        > the
        > > > chance to travel - though I did not know anyone in Europe.
        > > >
        > > > After almost seven months of wandering around Europe by myself
        and
        > > > thoroughly enjoying it, every minute of every day, I did not
        want
        > to
        > > > come home. I was not concerned over how I would support myself
        > > > there, as I had a few ideas. Besides, in those seven months I
        had
        > > > learned to live on very little. If I returned home, there was a
        > > > possibility of a very good job in my chosen field, but I had a
        > > > feeling that once home I would find that it was not available.
        > After
        > > > all, I had written from Europe of my continuing interest in
        the
        > job
        > > > and had not received a reply. (It turned out that the
        department
        > > > head who had promised me the job had gone on to greener
        pastures.)
        > > > During my travels I had dropped plans for graduate school ¡V
        at
        > least
        > > > for the time being. The idea of going back to an academic
        setting
        > > > after sixteen years of it and after experiencing the freedom I
        > felt
        > > > in my travels did not feel right.
        > > >
        > > > So it seemed that it would be wonderful to live in Europe, as
        > > > "freedom" had become my quest...if only this nagging feeling
        that
        > I
        > > > HAD to return home would just leave me. It did not - so I
        returned
        > > > to the U.S. and worked at a nondescript job for six months on
        the
        > > > east coast before heading out to San Francisco.
        > > >
        > > > One day, I met my brother for lunch. He had lived in San
        Francisco
        > > > for about two years and had just become a student of Sri
        Chinmoy.
        > He
        > > > told me about his spiritual path. I recall thinking that my
        > brother
        > > > had a great spiritual master because he is a developed soul,
        > whereas
        > > > it would be impossible for me to have such a master because -
        > well,
        > > > it seemed to me that I was not advanced enough. I was happy
        for
        > him.
        > > > Some days after hearing of my brother's changed life, I recall
        > > > thinking that my brother had joined a group and therefore was
        not
        > as
        > > > free as I was. Back and forth my mind traveled between these
        two
        > > > points of view: how fortunate my brother is to have a great
        > > > spiritual master; how lucky I am to be so free whereas my
        brother
        > is
        > > > not since he belongs to a group. I equated freedom with "flying
        > > > solo."
        > > >
        > > > Seven months after my brother had told me about his spiritual
        > > > master, I had a dream in which Sri Chinmoy appeared to me: I
        was
        > to
        > > > play a classical guitar piece for an audience and was very
        nervous
        > > > as I waited to go on stage. A man in long white garments whom
        I
        > had
        > > > not seen before came to me and looked at me with deep
        compassion.
        > I
        > > > felt a peaceful flow of energy go through me. I went out onto
        the
        > > > stage and started playing. My fingers danced over the strings
        > > > effortlessly. The music was breathlessly beautiful and was
        being
        > > > played through me. Delight and more delight I felt. In the
        dream I
        > > > said to myself, "Oh, so this is what 'it' is like" ¡V "it"
        of
        > course
        > > > referring to what one would experience if ego were not present
        in
        > > > what one was doing. When I saw Sri Chinmoy for the first time,
        I
        > > > realized that he had been the person in the dream who had
        appeared
        > > > before me.
        > > >
        > > > Three months after the dream, Sri Chinmoy came to San
        Francisco
        > and
        > > > offered a concert and meditation at a beautiful sacred space
        > there.
        > > > My brother invited me and I had planned to go, but was so tired
        > > > after a long day of working that at 7:30 p.m., the start time
        of
        > the
        > > > concert, I was dozing on my sofa. Then I felt a flow of energy
        > just
        > > > as I had felt in the dream a couple of months earlier. For some
        > > > reason, I understood that this meant that I had to go to the
        > > > concert. Fortunately, I lived only three blocks from the
        venue. I
        > > > literally dragged myself there and sat in the very last row as
        the
        > > > large space was filled to capacity. I very much enjoyed the
        music
        > I
        > > > heard, and felt deeply peaceful from the atmosphere there.
        > > >
        > > > At the end of the concert, an announcement was made inviting
        > anyone
        > > > who wished to come up and meditate personally with Sri
        Chinmoy. I
        > > > went up with many other members of the audience and stood in a
        > large
        > > > semi-circle. I felt it would be such a blessing to meditate
        with
        > > > this great spiritual master and I wanted a closer look since I
        had
        > > > been sitting so far back.
        > > >
        > > > Sri Chinmoy stood facing us with his hands folded. He
        meditated
        > one
        > > > by one on each aspirant. As I stood there, tears started
        > > > spontaneously flowing. I had a clear feeling that he had known
        me
        > > > "forever" and that I had known him "forever." I felt as though
        I
        > was
        > > > standing before "divinity on earth." I deeply and spontaneously
        > > > wanted to "fall on my knees," but with utmost restraint
        prohibited
        > > > myself from doing this. By the time Sri Chinmoy was looking
        > directly
        > > > at me, I could no longer see him clearly ¡V not because of
        my
        tears
        > > > but because his form appeared as pure light with only a vague
        > > > outline of his physical form visible to me. As he was
        meditating
        > on
        > > > me, unmistakably I inwardly heard the words, "If you take this
        > step,
        > > > there is no turning back." At once it became clear to me that
        if I
        > > > were to "step upon the spiritual path," this would be a
        decision
        > > > like no other I had ever made or ever would make. In no way
        did I
        > > > feel capable of such a commitment.
        > > >
        > > > Because I had arrived late, I was not sitting with my brother.
        > After
        > > > everything was over, he came up to me and said, "Sri Chinmoy
        will
        > > > meet privately with seekers who wish to become his students.
        Would
        > > > you like to ask to become his student?" I looked at him
        silently
        > for
        > > > a moment and then quietly said, "No."
        > > >
        > > > In a matter of fact way, my brother then asked if I would like
        to
        > > > accompany him to the meeting where students of Sri Chinmoy and
        > those
        > > > requesting to become his students would meet. I thanked him
        and
        > said
        > > > that I would enjoy accompanying him.
        > > >
        > > > At this meeting, the seekers went up one by one to meditate
        with
        > Sri
        > > > Chinmoy. They were told that Sri Chinmoy sees clearly if one is
        > > > meant for his path or if a different path would be more
        suitable
        > for
        > > > the aspirant. For this reason, he meditates with each person
        > > > individually.
        > > >
        > > > As I sat there watching each person go in front of Sri Chinmoy
        and
        > > > meditate with him, an increasingly strong feeling that I had
        to go
        > > > up and meditate with him and become his student developed
        inside
        > of
        > > > me.
        > > >
        > > > Frankly, it is impossible to describe the inner command I
        > > > experienced. Immediately I recognized this feeling as similar
        to
        > the
        > > > feeling that compelled me to return home from Europe, and the
        > > > feeling that urged me to attend the concert and meditation
        ¡V
        only
        > > > this time the inner command was far more powerful. It was
        coming
        > > > from the deepest part of myself.
        > > >
        > > > After everyone who wished to become a student of meditation
        with
        > Sri
        > > > Chinmoy had gone up, and that portion of the meeting was
        seemingly
        > > > finished, I somehow found myself standing in front of Sri
        Chinmoy.
        > > > He gave me a beautiful, sweet and at the same time powerful
        smile.
        > > > After some minutes, I returned to my seat not quite believing
        that
        > > > basically, I had just asked to become his student!
        > > >
        > > > I returned to my apartment knowing that when I received a
        phone
        > call
        > > > the next morning telling me if I had been accepted as Sri
        > Chinmoy's
        > > > student, that would be it. I would have to "take that step."
        > > >
        > > > I sat up until the wee hours of the morning chanting silently,
        > > > "Please do not accept me. Please know that I am not ready.
        Please
        > do
        > > > not accept me. Please know that I am not ready." Over and over
        and
        > > > over I silently chanted my mantra: "Please do not accept me
        Please
        > > > know that I am not ready."
        > > >
        > > > The next morning I received a phone call. "Hello, good
        morning. I
        > > > want to tell you that Sri Chinmoy has accepted you as his
        > student."
        > > >
        > > > I swallowed hard and said, "Oh, um that is great. Thank you."
        > > >
        > > > By now you have either stopped reading or you are asking with
        some
        > > > exasperation, "If you felt so reluctant, why did you not just
        say
        > > > that you had changed your mind or that you did not want to do
        this
        > > > after all?"
        > > >
        > > > My reply would be, "When God, an enlightened spiritual master,
        and
        > > > your own soul get together with a plan for your very
        existence,
        > your
        > > > little "i" does not stand a chance of asserting itself." Thank
        > God!
      • shane_dublincentre
        Dear Doris, Now, that s a story... The humour - sometimes it s from just being happy, other times it s a coping mechanism. My line of work (I m doing a
        Message 3 of 24 , Apr 2 1:11 AM
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          Dear Doris,

          Now, that's a story...

          The humour - sometimes it's from just being happy, other times it's a
          coping mechanism. My line of work (I'm doing a research PhD in physics
          which is rapidly turning into a disaster of the first magnitude) tends
          to make my life a little more complicated and confusional than it
          should be, so sometimes I need an outlet valve...

          Shane


          --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, doriscott20002000
          <no_reply@y...> wrote:
          >
          >
          >
          > Hi Shane,
          >
          > Where did you get that hummor? You must be a happy person or how one
          > of our participants in the 12 hour swim answered when he was asked
          > what makes him always smile:" Happiness is suffering without
          > complaining." I like that saying very much.
          >
          > My story? O.K.
          >
          > I saw a poster with many indian names on it (what was unusual at
          > that time in East Germany.)It was announcing a concert.
          >
          > I went there with my friend. I expected to hear classical indian
          > music. I almost cried out:"These are children's songs" and I was a
          > bit puzzled.
          >
          > We attended a class and called the boys who would come from Munich
          > each weekend: "The Whites were coming."
          >
          > Pramodan told us how difficult it was to find a spiritual master, it
          > would be like searching for a needle in a heap. I thought, well,
          > lucky boy.
          >
          > One day he offered me the possibility to become a disciple and- I
          > was scared to death; O no, not me, this boy was so shining and I?
          > No, I can't, the master will not accept someone like me.
          >
          > They left our city and I walked two days (with interruptions)through
          > the forest and didn't know what to do.
          >
          > Suddenly it came to my mind that it could have become to late for me
          > to give my picture.(Sri Chinmoy meditates on a picture and decides
          > whether you are meant for his boat or not.)
          >
          > So I ran home, took a picture, wrote a note that I absolutely want
          > to become a disciple, sent it to Munich and was praying that it was
          > not to late for me.
          >
          > And - I became a disciple and I am very happy about it.
          >
          > It was exactly on an monday afternoon, that I felt a strong energy
          > flowing through me. I had to sit down and somehow I knew I was
          > accepted. I have to say at that time I was afraid of many tiny
          > things I couldn't explain to myself. But when I felt this energy I
          > was all peace and had a comfortable feeling.
          >
          > When the Whites from Munich came to our city and informed me about
          > me acceptance of the master I just nodded and said:"I know."
          >
          > Pramodan was laughing.
          >
          > All gratitude
          >
          > Doris
          >
          > P.S. A master like Sri Chinmoy went through all the life experiences
          > we human beings are going through here on earth and reached
          > liberation and realisation through I don't how many incarnations of
          > disciplined prayer, meditation and faith in God. When somebody
          > reaches this high standard he can freely leave the earth and enjoy
          > rest in heaven.
          >
          > Sri Chinmoy came back to earth only for one purpose: to help and
          > guide us in our struggle for leading a higher and more fulfilling
          > life. Today I am tearfully grateful to him.
          >
          >
          > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, shane_dublincentre
          > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > hi niriha...
          > >
          > > I think youve just written the lead article for this web page that
          > > everyone's talking about... :)
          > >
          > > I read articles like this and think "Wow, this path seems sometimes
          > > all paths within one; so many different personalities on it, so
          > many
          > > different ways to advance upon it, so many different circumstances
          > > under which people have found it in the first place..." For
          > example,
          > > my essay as to how I joined the path would go a little like this:
          > >
          > > ************
          > >
          > > How I Came to Sri Chinmoys Path - by Shane
          > >
          > > Saw meditation poster and figured I could use a few extra
          > techniques.
          > > Liked what I saw. Had reservations about the lifestyle. Told
          > myself to
          > > just take it one day at a time. Wow, I'm still here.
          > >
          > > *************
          > >
          > > Now, youll find this essay in Mahabaratised form on my web page,
          > but
          > > even with the added flickers and flourishes I still dont think
          > youll
          > > find an experience as dramatic as Niriha's there. I don't mind in
          > the
          > > slightest. I think there are people who need something like that
          > and
          > > then there are others on whom the same experience would completely
          > be
          > > lost. My life tends to be full enough of bombastic drama on the
          > outer
          > > plane anyways, I think a lifetime of steady gradual assured growth
          > is
          > > just the ticket to level me out a bit.
          > >
          > > Still, I do like hearing about everyone else's stories :)
          > >
          > > Shane
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, niriha7
          > > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
          > > >
          > > >
          > > >
          > > >
          > > > To Sarah in Seattle (who asked), and to any seeker or aspirant
          > who
          > > > feels that the "leap of faith" is just too daunting.
          > > >
          > > >
          > > > How I Came To Sri Chinmoy's Path
          > > >
          > > > In the early seventies I graduated from college and decided to
          > > > postpone graduate school. Shortly after graduating, I went on a
          > four
          > > > week trip to Russia which was organized by a professor of Russian
          > > > language and literature from my school. A wealthy person who was
          > > > planning to join the tour had to cancel at the last minute and
          > > > requested that a student be selected to replace her. She would
          > pay
          > > > for that student to make the trip, since it was too late for her
          > to
          > > > receive a refund. I was selected solely on enthusiasm and that is
          > > > the truth!
          > > >
          > > > After returning home, I worked for one year in a field related to
          > > > what I intended to study in graduate school – psychology –
          > trying to
          > > > determine if becoming a therapist was truly something I wanted to
          > > > do. During that year, a friend told me about some inexpensive
          > > > charter flights to Europe. I already had a passport, had saved
          > > > enough money from working during the year, and was intrigued at
          > the
          > > > chance to travel - though I did not know anyone in Europe.
          > > >
          > > > After almost seven months of wandering around Europe by myself
          > and
          > > > thoroughly enjoying it, every minute of every day, I did not
          > want to
          > > > come home. I was not concerned over how I would support myself
          > > > there, as I had a few ideas. Besides, in those seven months I had
          > > > learned to live on very little. If I returned home, there was a
          > > > possibility of a very good job in my chosen field, but I had a
          > > > feeling that once home I would find that it was not available.
          > After
          > > > all, I had written from Europe of my continuing interest in the
          > job
          > > > and had not received a reply. (It turned out that the department
          > > > head who had promised me the job had gone on to greener
          > pastures.)
          > > > During my travels I had dropped plans for graduate school – at
          > least
          > > > for the time being. The idea of going back to an academic setting
          > > > after sixteen years of it and after experiencing the freedom I
          > felt
          > > > in my travels did not feel right.
          > > >
          > > > So it seemed that it would be wonderful to live in Europe, as
          > > > "freedom" had become my quest...if only this nagging feeling
          > that I
          > > > HAD to return home would just leave me. It did not - so I
          > returned
          > > > to the U.S. and worked at a nondescript job for six months on the
          > > > east coast before heading out to San Francisco.
          > > >
          > > > One day, I met my brother for lunch. He had lived in San
          > Francisco
          > > > for about two years and had just become a student of Sri
          > Chinmoy. He
          > > > told me about his spiritual path. I recall thinking that my
          > brother
          > > > had a great spiritual master because he is a developed soul,
          > whereas
          > > > it would be impossible for me to have such a master because -
          > well,
          > > > it seemed to me that I was not advanced enough. I was happy for
          > him.
          > > > Some days after hearing of my brother's changed life, I recall
          > > > thinking that my brother had joined a group and therefore was
          > not as
          > > > free as I was. Back and forth my mind traveled between these two
          > > > points of view: how fortunate my brother is to have a great
          > > > spiritual master; how lucky I am to be so free whereas my
          > brother is
          > > > not since he belongs to a group. I equated freedom with "flying
          > > > solo."
          > > >
          > > > Seven months after my brother had told me about his spiritual
          > > > master, I had a dream in which Sri Chinmoy appeared to me: I was
          > to
          > > > play a classical guitar piece for an audience and was very
          > nervous
          > > > as I waited to go on stage. A man in long white garments whom I
          > had
          > > > not seen before came to me and looked at me with deep
          > compassion. I
          > > > felt a peaceful flow of energy go through me. I went out onto the
          > > > stage and started playing. My fingers danced over the strings
          > > > effortlessly. The music was breathlessly beautiful and was being
          > > > played through me. Delight and more delight I felt. In the dream
          > I
          > > > said to myself, "Oh, so this is what 'it' is like" – "it" of
          > course
          > > > referring to what one would experience if ego were not present in
          > > > what one was doing. When I saw Sri Chinmoy for the first time, I
          > > > realized that he had been the person in the dream who had
          > appeared
          > > > before me.
          > > >
          > > > Three months after the dream, Sri Chinmoy came to San Francisco
          > and
          > > > offered a concert and meditation at a beautiful sacred space
          > there.
          > > > My brother invited me and I had planned to go, but was so tired
          > > > after a long day of working that at 7:30 p.m., the start time of
          > the
          > > > concert, I was dozing on my sofa. Then I felt a flow of energy
          > just
          > > > as I had felt in the dream a couple of months earlier. For some
          > > > reason, I understood that this meant that I had to go to the
          > > > concert. Fortunately, I lived only three blocks from the venue. I
          > > > literally dragged myself there and sat in the very last row as
          > the
          > > > large space was filled to capacity. I very much enjoyed the
          > music I
          > > > heard, and felt deeply peaceful from the atmosphere there.
          > > >
          > > > At the end of the concert, an announcement was made inviting
          > anyone
          > > > who wished to come up and meditate personally with Sri Chinmoy. I
          > > > went up with many other members of the audience and stood in a
          > large
          > > > semi-circle. I felt it would be such a blessing to meditate with
          > > > this great spiritual master and I wanted a closer look since I
          > had
          > > > been sitting so far back.
          > > >
          > > > Sri Chinmoy stood facing us with his hands folded. He meditated
          > one
          > > > by one on each aspirant. As I stood there, tears started
          > > > spontaneously flowing. I had a clear feeling that he had known me
          > > > "forever" and that I had known him "forever." I felt as though I
          > was
          > > > standing before "divinity on earth." I deeply and spontaneously
          > > > wanted to "fall on my knees," but with utmost restraint
          > prohibited
          > > > myself from doing this. By the time Sri Chinmoy was looking
          > directly
          > > > at me, I could no longer see him clearly – not because of my
          > tears
          > > > but because his form appeared as pure light with only a vague
          > > > outline of his physical form visible to me. As he was meditating
          > on
          > > > me, unmistakably I inwardly heard the words, "If you take this
          > step,
          > > > there is no turning back." At once it became clear to me that if
          > I
          > > > were to "step upon the spiritual path," this would be a decision
          > > > like no other I had ever made or ever would make. In no way did I
          > > > feel capable of such a commitment.
          > > >
          > > > Because I had arrived late, I was not sitting with my brother.
          > After
          > > > everything was over, he came up to me and said, "Sri Chinmoy will
          > > > meet privately with seekers who wish to become his students.
          > Would
          > > > you like to ask to become his student?" I looked at him silently
          > for
          > > > a moment and then quietly said, "No."
          > > >
          > > > In a matter of fact way, my brother then asked if I would like to
          > > > accompany him to the meeting where students of Sri Chinmoy and
          > those
          > > > requesting to become his students would meet. I thanked him and
          > said
          > > > that I would enjoy accompanying him.
          > > >
          > > > At this meeting, the seekers went up one by one to meditate with
          > Sri
          > > > Chinmoy. They were told that Sri Chinmoy sees clearly if one is
          > > > meant for his path or if a different path would be more suitable
          > for
          > > > the aspirant. For this reason, he meditates with each person
          > > > individually.
          > > >
          > > > As I sat there watching each person go in front of Sri Chinmoy
          > and
          > > > meditate with him, an increasingly strong feeling that I had to
          > go
          > > > up and meditate with him and become his student developed inside
          > of
          > > > me.
          > > >
          > > > Frankly, it is impossible to describe the inner command I
          > > > experienced. Immediately I recognized this feeling as similar to
          > the
          > > > feeling that compelled me to return home from Europe, and the
          > > > feeling that urged me to attend the concert and meditation – only
          > > > this time the inner command was far more powerful. It was coming
          > > > from the deepest part of myself.
          > > >
          > > > After everyone who wished to become a student of meditation with
          > Sri
          > > > Chinmoy had gone up, and that portion of the meeting was
          > seemingly
          > > > finished, I somehow found myself standing in front of Sri
          > Chinmoy.
          > > > He gave me a beautiful, sweet and at the same time powerful
          > smile.
          > > > After some minutes, I returned to my seat not quite believing
          > that
          > > > basically, I had just asked to become his student!
          > > >
          > > > I returned to my apartment knowing that when I received a phone
          > call
          > > > the next morning telling me if I had been accepted as Sri
          > Chinmoy's
          > > > student, that would be it. I would have to "take that step."
          > > >
          > > > I sat up until the wee hours of the morning chanting silently,
          > > > "Please do not accept me. Please know that I am not ready.
          > Please do
          > > > not accept me. Please know that I am not ready." Over and over
          > and
          > > > over I silently chanted my mantra: "Please do not accept me
          > Please
          > > > know that I am not ready."
          > > >
          > > > The next morning I received a phone call. "Hello, good morning. I
          > > > want to tell you that Sri Chinmoy has accepted you as his
          > student."
          > > >
          > > > I swallowed hard and said, "Oh, um that is great. Thank you."
          > > >
          > > > By now you have either stopped reading or you are asking with
          > some
          > > > exasperation, "If you felt so reluctant, why did you not just say
          > > > that you had changed your mind or that you did not want to do
          > this
          > > > after all?"
          > > >
          > > > My reply would be, "When God, an enlightened spiritual master,
          > and
          > > > your own soul get together with a plan for your very existence,
          > your
          > > > little "i" does not stand a chance of asserting itself." Thank
          > God!
        • niriha7
          Smarana, You have hit on what I feel is the point of the story - how the higher force works in and through our lives. Sri Chinmoy has stated that when we reach
          Message 4 of 24 , Apr 3 12:59 AM
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            Smarana, You have hit on what I feel is the point of the story - how
            the higher force works in and through our lives.

            Sri Chinmoy has stated that when we reach our goal, we will clearly
            see and feel that everything was done for us 100%. In other words,
            not even 1% was our own effort. Certainly, the story of how I came
            to Sri Chinmoy's path is indicitive of that truth. Niriha









            --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, smarana31
            <no_reply@y...> wrote:
            >
            >
            >
            > Thank you Niriha for this inspiring post.
            > It makes one really tangibly feel, the guidance of the higher force.
            > Smarana
            >
            > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, niriha7
            > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > To Sarah in Seattle (who asked), and to any seeker or aspirant who
            > > feels that the "leap of faith" is just too daunting.
            > >
            > >
            > > How I Came To Sri Chinmoy's Path
            > >
            > > In the early seventies I graduated from college and decided to
            > > postpone graduate school. Shortly after graduating, I went on a
            > four
            > > week trip to Russia which was organized by a professor of Russian
            > > language and literature from my school. A wealthy person who was
            > > planning to join the tour had to cancel at the last minute and
            > > requested that a student be selected to replace her. She would pay
            > > for that student to make the trip, since it was too late for her
            to
            > > receive a refund. I was selected solely on enthusiasm and that is
            > > the truth!
            > >
            > > After returning home, I worked for one year in a field related to
            > > what I intended to study in graduate school – psychology – trying
            > to
            > > determine if becoming a therapist was truly something I wanted to
            > > do. During that year, a friend told me about some inexpensive
            > > charter flights to Europe. I already had a passport, had saved
            > > enough money from working during the year, and was intrigued at
            the
            > > chance to travel - though I did not know anyone in Europe.
            > >
            > > After almost seven months of wandering around Europe by myself and
            > > thoroughly enjoying it, every minute of every day, I did not want
            > to
            > > come home. I was not concerned over how I would support myself
            > > there, as I had a few ideas. Besides, in those seven months I had
            > > learned to live on very little. If I returned home, there was a
            > > possibility of a very good job in my chosen field, but I had a
            > > feeling that once home I would find that it was not available.
            > After
            > > all, I had written from Europe of my continuing interest in the
            job
            > > and had not received a reply. (It turned out that the department
            > > head who had promised me the job had gone on to greener pastures.)
            > > During my travels I had dropped plans for graduate school – at
            > least
            > > for the time being. The idea of going back to an academic setting
            > > after sixteen years of it and after experiencing the freedom I
            felt
            > > in my travels did not feel right.
            > >
            > > So it seemed that it would be wonderful to live in Europe, as
            > > "freedom" had become my quest...if only this nagging feeling that
            I
            > > HAD to return home would just leave me. It did not - so I returned
            > > to the U.S. and worked at a nondescript job for six months on the
            > > east coast before heading out to San Francisco.
            > >
            > > One day, I met my brother for lunch. He had lived in San Francisco
            > > for about two years and had just become a student of Sri Chinmoy.
            > He
            > > told me about his spiritual path. I recall thinking that my
            brother
            > > had a great spiritual master because he is a developed soul,
            > whereas
            > > it would be impossible for me to have such a master because -
            well,
            > > it seemed to me that I was not advanced enough. I was happy for
            > him.
            > > Some days after hearing of my brother's changed life, I recall
            > > thinking that my brother had joined a group and therefore was not
            > as
            > > free as I was. Back and forth my mind traveled between these two
            > > points of view: how fortunate my brother is to have a great
            > > spiritual master; how lucky I am to be so free whereas my brother
            > is
            > > not since he belongs to a group. I equated freedom with "flying
            > > solo."
            > >
            > > Seven months after my brother had told me about his spiritual
            > > master, I had a dream in which Sri Chinmoy appeared to me: I was
            to
            > > play a classical guitar piece for an audience and was very nervous
            > > as I waited to go on stage. A man in long white garments whom I
            had
            > > not seen before came to me and looked at me with deep compassion.
            I
            > > felt a peaceful flow of energy go through me. I went out onto the
            > > stage and started playing. My fingers danced over the strings
            > > effortlessly. The music was breathlessly beautiful and was being
            > > played through me. Delight and more delight I felt. In the dream I
            > > said to myself, "Oh, so this is what 'it' is like" – "it" of
            course
            > > referring to what one would experience if ego were not present in
            > > what one was doing. When I saw Sri Chinmoy for the first time, I
            > > realized that he had been the person in the dream who had appeared
            > > before me.
            > >
            > > Three months after the dream, Sri Chinmoy came to San Francisco
            and
            > > offered a concert and meditation at a beautiful sacred space
            there.
            > > My brother invited me and I had planned to go, but was so tired
            > > after a long day of working that at 7:30 p.m., the start time of
            > the
            > > concert, I was dozing on my sofa. Then I felt a flow of energy
            just
            > > as I had felt in the dream a couple of months earlier. For some
            > > reason, I understood that this meant that I had to go to the
            > > concert. Fortunately, I lived only three blocks from the venue. I
            > > literally dragged myself there and sat in the very last row as the
            > > large space was filled to capacity. I very much enjoyed the music
            I
            > > heard, and felt deeply peaceful from the atmosphere there.
            > >
            > > At the end of the concert, an announcement was made inviting
            anyone
            > > who wished to come up and meditate personally with Sri Chinmoy. I
            > > went up with many other members of the audience and stood in a
            > large
            > > semi-circle. I felt it would be such a blessing to meditate with
            > > this great spiritual master and I wanted a closer look since I had
            > > been sitting so far back.
            > >
            > > Sri Chinmoy stood facing us with his hands folded. He meditated
            one
            > > by one on each aspirant. As I stood there, tears started
            > > spontaneously flowing. I had a clear feeling that he had known me
            > > "forever" and that I had known him "forever." I felt as though I
            > was
            > > standing before "divinity on earth." I deeply and spontaneously
            > > wanted to "fall on my knees," but with utmost restraint prohibited
            > > myself from doing this. By the time Sri Chinmoy was looking
            > directly
            > > at me, I could no longer see him clearly – not because of my tears
            > > but because his form appeared as pure light with only a vague
            > > outline of his physical form visible to me. As he was meditating
            on
            > > me, unmistakably I inwardly heard the words, "If you take this
            > step,
            > > there is no turning back." At once it became clear to me that if I
            > > were to "step upon the spiritual path," this would be a decision
            > > like no other I had ever made or ever would make. In no way did I
            > > feel capable of such a commitment.
            > >
            > > Because I had arrived late, I was not sitting with my brother.
            > After
            > > everything was over, he came up to me and said, "Sri Chinmoy will
            > > meet privately with seekers who wish to become his students. Would
            > > you like to ask to become his student?" I looked at him silently
            > for
            > > a moment and then quietly said, "No."
            > >
            > > In a matter of fact way, my brother then asked if I would like to
            > > accompany him to the meeting where students of Sri Chinmoy and
            > those
            > > requesting to become his students would meet. I thanked him and
            > said
            > > that I would enjoy accompanying him.
            > >
            > > At this meeting, the seekers went up one by one to meditate with
            > Sri
            > > Chinmoy. They were told that Sri Chinmoy sees clearly if one is
            > > meant for his path or if a different path would be more suitable
            > for
            > > the aspirant. For this reason, he meditates with each person
            > > individually.
            > >
            > > As I sat there watching each person go in front of Sri Chinmoy and
            > > meditate with him, an increasingly strong feeling that I had to go
            > > up and meditate with him and become his student developed inside
            of
            > > me.
            > >
            > > Frankly, it is impossible to describe the inner command I
            > > experienced. Immediately I recognized this feeling as similar to
            > the
            > > feeling that compelled me to return home from Europe, and the
            > > feeling that urged me to attend the concert and meditation – only
            > > this time the inner command was far more powerful. It was coming
            > > from the deepest part of myself.
            > >
            > > After everyone who wished to become a student of meditation with
            > Sri
            > > Chinmoy had gone up, and that portion of the meeting was seemingly
            > > finished, I somehow found myself standing in front of Sri Chinmoy.
            > > He gave me a beautiful, sweet and at the same time powerful smile.
            > > After some minutes, I returned to my seat not quite believing that
            > > basically, I had just asked to become his student!
            > >
            > > I returned to my apartment knowing that when I received a phone
            > call
            > > the next morning telling me if I had been accepted as Sri
            Chinmoy's
            > > student, that would be it. I would have to "take that step."
            > >
            > > I sat up until the wee hours of the morning chanting silently,
            > > "Please do not accept me. Please know that I am not ready. Please
            > do
            > > not accept me. Please know that I am not ready." Over and over and
            > > over I silently chanted my mantra: "Please do not accept me Please
            > > know that I am not ready."
            > >
            > > The next morning I received a phone call. "Hello, good morning. I
            > > want to tell you that Sri Chinmoy has accepted you as his
            student."
            > >
            > > I swallowed hard and said, "Oh, um that is great. Thank you."
            > >
            > > By now you have either stopped reading or you are asking with some
            > > exasperation, "If you felt so reluctant, why did you not just say
            > > that you had changed your mind or that you did not want to do this
            > > after all?"
            > >
            > > My reply would be, "When God, an enlightened spiritual master, and
            > > your own soul get together with a plan for your very existence,
            > your
            > > little "i" does not stand a chance of asserting itself." Thank
            God!
          • niriha7
            Hi Alex, your use of the word history evoked a smile, because in two weeks it will have been thirty-one years since the evening I wrote about took place. I am
            Message 5 of 24 , Apr 3 1:31 AM
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              Hi Alex, your use of the word history evoked a smile, because in two
              weeks it will have been thirty-one years since the evening I wrote
              about took place.

              I am happy that you received inspiration from my telling of this
              story. I also received some criticism that it was too personal. :-)
              Such is life. Niriha

              PS The trip to Russia that I referred to in the story, took place in
              1971. I went to Moscow, Vladamir (outside of Moscow), St.Petersburg
              (Leningrad at that time), Tiblisi, Kiev, Tash Kent and Samarkand. Our
              small group of 14 persons took a trip into the Caucasus mountains and
              heard the Georgian National Singers. As I was listening to them, I
              was deeply moved. I remember it to this day and I still have a
              recording of their singing.










              --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, alex_syberia
              <no_reply@y...> wrote:
              >
              > Dear Niriha,
              >
              > Thanks for your inspiring story! It is very fine history.
              >
              > Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude.
              >
              > Alex (Siberia).
              >
              > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, niriha7
              > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
              > >
              > >
              > >
              > >
              > > To Sarah in Seattle (who asked), and to any seeker or aspirant who
              > > feels that the "leap of faith" is just too daunting.
              > >
              > >
              > > How I Came To Sri Chinmoy's Path
              > >
              > > In the early seventies I graduated from college and decided to
              > > postpone graduate school. Shortly after graduating, I went on a
              four
              > > week trip to Russia which was organized by a professor of Russian
              > > language and literature from my school. A wealthy person who was
              > > planning to join the tour had to cancel at the last minute and
              > > requested that a student be selected to replace her. She would pay
              > > for that student to make the trip, since it was too late for her
              to
              > > receive a refund. I was selected solely on enthusiasm and that is
              > > the truth!
              > >
              > > After returning home, I worked for one year in a field related to
              > > what I intended to study in graduate school – psychology – trying
              to
              > > determine if becoming a therapist was truly something I wanted to
              > > do. During that year, a friend told me about some inexpensive
              > > charter flights to Europe. I already had a passport, had saved
              > > enough money from working during the year, and was intrigued at
              the
              > > chance to travel - though I did not know anyone in Europe.
              > >
              > > After almost seven months of wandering around Europe by myself and
              > > thoroughly enjoying it, every minute of every day, I did not want
              to
              > > come home. I was not concerned over how I would support myself
              > > there, as I had a few ideas. Besides, in those seven months I had
              > > learned to live on very little. If I returned home, there was a
              > > possibility of a very good job in my chosen field, but I had a
              > > feeling that once home I would find that it was not available.
              After
              > > all, I had written from Europe of my continuing interest in the
              job
              > > and had not received a reply. (It turned out that the department
              > > head who had promised me the job had gone on to greener pastures.)
              > > During my travels I had dropped plans for graduate school – at
              least
              > > for the time being. The idea of going back to an academic setting
              > > after sixteen years of it and after experiencing the freedom I
              felt
              > > in my travels did not feel right.
              > >
              > > So it seemed that it would be wonderful to live in Europe, as
              > > "freedom" had become my quest...if only this nagging feeling that
              I
              > > HAD to return home would just leave me. It did not - so I returned
              > > to the U.S. and worked at a nondescript job for six months on the
              > > east coast before heading out to San Francisco.
              > >
              > > One day, I met my brother for lunch. He had lived in San Francisco
              > > for about two years and had just become a student of Sri Chinmoy.
              He
              > > told me about his spiritual path. I recall thinking that my
              brother
              > > had a great spiritual master because he is a developed soul,
              whereas
              > > it would be impossible for me to have such a master because -
              well,
              > > it seemed to me that I was not advanced enough. I was happy for
              him.
              > > Some days after hearing of my brother's changed life, I recall
              > > thinking that my brother had joined a group and therefore was not
              as
              > > free as I was. Back and forth my mind traveled between these two
              > > points of view: how fortunate my brother is to have a great
              > > spiritual master; how lucky I am to be so free whereas my brother
              is
              > > not since he belongs to a group. I equated freedom with "flying
              > > solo."
              > >
              > > Seven months after my brother had told me about his spiritual
              > > master, I had a dream in which Sri Chinmoy appeared to me: I was
              to
              > > play a classical guitar piece for an audience and was very nervous
              > > as I waited to go on stage. A man in long white garments whom I
              had
              > > not seen before came to me and looked at me with deep compassion.
              I
              > > felt a peaceful flow of energy go through me. I went out onto the
              > > stage and started playing. My fingers danced over the strings
              > > effortlessly. The music was breathlessly beautiful and was being
              > > played through me. Delight and more delight I felt. In the dream I
              > > said to myself, "Oh, so this is what 'it' is like" – "it" of
              course
              > > referring to what one would experience if ego were not present in
              > > what one was doing. When I saw Sri Chinmoy for the first time, I
              > > realized that he had been the person in the dream who had appeared
              > > before me.
              > >
              > > Three months after the dream, Sri Chinmoy came to San Francisco
              and
              > > offered a concert and meditation at a beautiful sacred space
              there.
              > > My brother invited me and I had planned to go, but was so tired
              > > after a long day of working that at 7:30 p.m., the start time of
              the
              > > concert, I was dozing on my sofa. Then I felt a flow of energy
              just
              > > as I had felt in the dream a couple of months earlier. For some
              > > reason, I understood that this meant that I had to go to the
              > > concert. Fortunately, I lived only three blocks from the venue. I
              > > literally dragged myself there and sat in the very last row as the
              > > large space was filled to capacity. I very much enjoyed the music
              I
              > > heard, and felt deeply peaceful from the atmosphere there.
              > >
              > > At the end of the concert, an announcement was made inviting
              anyone
              > > who wished to come up and meditate personally with Sri Chinmoy. I
              > > went up with many other members of the audience and stood in a
              large
              > > semi-circle. I felt it would be such a blessing to meditate with
              > > this great spiritual master and I wanted a closer look since I had
              > > been sitting so far back.
              > >
              > > Sri Chinmoy stood facing us with his hands folded. He meditated
              one
              > > by one on each aspirant. As I stood there, tears started
              > > spontaneously flowing. I had a clear feeling that he had known me
              > > "forever" and that I had known him "forever." I felt as though I
              was
              > > standing before "divinity on earth." I deeply and spontaneously
              > > wanted to "fall on my knees," but with utmost restraint prohibited
              > > myself from doing this. By the time Sri Chinmoy was looking
              directly
              > > at me, I could no longer see him clearly – not because of my tears
              > > but because his form appeared as pure light with only a vague
              > > outline of his physical form visible to me. As he was meditating
              on
              > > me, unmistakably I inwardly heard the words, "If you take this
              step,
              > > there is no turning back." At once it became clear to me that if I
              > > were to "step upon the spiritual path," this would be a decision
              > > like no other I had ever made or ever would make. In no way did I
              > > feel capable of such a commitment.
              > >
              > > Because I had arrived late, I was not sitting with my brother.
              After
              > > everything was over, he came up to me and said, "Sri Chinmoy will
              > > meet privately with seekers who wish to become his students. Would
              > > you like to ask to become his student?" I looked at him silently
              for
              > > a moment and then quietly said, "No."
              > >
              > > In a matter of fact way, my brother then asked if I would like to
              > > accompany him to the meeting where students of Sri Chinmoy and
              those
              > > requesting to become his students would meet. I thanked him and
              said
              > > that I would enjoy accompanying him.
              > >
              > > At this meeting, the seekers went up one by one to meditate with
              Sri
              > > Chinmoy. They were told that Sri Chinmoy sees clearly if one is
              > > meant for his path or if a different path would be more suitable
              for
              > > the aspirant. For this reason, he meditates with each person
              > > individually.
              > >
              > > As I sat there watching each person go in front of Sri Chinmoy and
              > > meditate with him, an increasingly strong feeling that I had to go
              > > up and meditate with him and become his student developed inside
              of
              > > me.
              > >
              > > Frankly, it is impossible to describe the inner command I
              > > experienced. Immediately I recognized this feeling as similar to
              the
              > > feeling that compelled me to return home from Europe, and the
              > > feeling that urged me to attend the concert and meditation – only
              > > this time the inner command was far more powerful. It was coming
              > > from the deepest part of myself.
              > >
              > > After everyone who wished to become a student of meditation with
              Sri
              > > Chinmoy had gone up, and that portion of the meeting was seemingly
              > > finished, I somehow found myself standing in front of Sri Chinmoy.
              > > He gave me a beautiful, sweet and at the same time powerful smile.
              > > After some minutes, I returned to my seat not quite believing that
              > > basically, I had just asked to become his student!
              > >
              > > I returned to my apartment knowing that when I received a phone
              call
              > > the next morning telling me if I had been accepted as Sri
              Chinmoy's
              > > student, that would be it. I would have to "take that step."
              > >
              > > I sat up until the wee hours of the morning chanting silently,
              > > "Please do not accept me. Please know that I am not ready. Please
              do
              > > not accept me. Please know that I am not ready." Over and over and
              > > over I silently chanted my mantra: "Please do not accept me Please
              > > know that I am not ready."
              > >
              > > The next morning I received a phone call. "Hello, good morning. I
              > > want to tell you that Sri Chinmoy has accepted you as his
              student."
              > >
              > > I swallowed hard and said, "Oh, um that is great. Thank you."
              > >
              > > By now you have either stopped reading or you are asking with some
              > > exasperation, "If you felt so reluctant, why did you not just say
              > > that you had changed your mind or that you did not want to do this
              > > after all?"
              > >
              > > My reply would be, "When God, an enlightened spiritual master, and
              > > your own soul get together with a plan for your very existence,
              your
              > > little "i" does not stand a chance of asserting itself." Thank
              God!
            • morrisklein27
              Dear Doris, I have always admired you for offering your interesting stories and funny (if sometimes quirky) insights on this forum in very readable,
              Message 6 of 24 , Apr 3 7:03 PM
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                Dear Doris,

                I have always admired you for offering your interesting stories and
                funny (if sometimes quirky) insights on this forum in very readable,
                comprehensible English.

                Please continue to offer your charmingly inspring articles!


                Sincerely,



                Morris



                --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, shane_dublincentre
                <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                >
                >
                > Dear Doris,
                >
                > Now, that's a story...
                >
                > The humour - sometimes it's from just being happy, other times it's
                a
                > coping mechanism. My line of work (I'm doing a research PhD in
                physics
                > which is rapidly turning into a disaster of the first magnitude)
                tends
                > to make my life a little more complicated and confusional than it
                > should be, so sometimes I need an outlet valve...
                >
                > Shane
                >
                >
                > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, doriscott20002000
                > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > > Hi Shane,
                > >
                > > Where did you get that hummor? You must be a happy person or how
                one
                > > of our participants in the 12 hour swim answered when he was
                asked
                > > what makes him always smile:" Happiness is suffering without
                > > complaining." I like that saying very much.
                > >
                > > My story? O.K.
                > >
                > > I saw a poster with many indian names on it (what was unusual at
                > > that time in East Germany.)It was announcing a concert.
                > >
                > > I went there with my friend. I expected to hear classical indian
                > > music. I almost cried out:"These are children's songs" and I was
                a
                > > bit puzzled.
                > >
                > > We attended a class and called the boys who would come from
                Munich
                > > each weekend: "The Whites were coming."
                > >
                > > Pramodan told us how difficult it was to find a spiritual master,
                it
                > > would be like searching for a needle in a heap. I thought, well,
                > > lucky boy.
                > >
                > > One day he offered me the possibility to become a disciple and- I
                > > was scared to death; O no, not me, this boy was so shining and I?
                > > No, I can't, the master will not accept someone like me.
                > >
                > > They left our city and I walked two days (with interruptions)
                through
                > > the forest and didn't know what to do.
                > >
                > > Suddenly it came to my mind that it could have become to late for
                me
                > > to give my picture.(Sri Chinmoy meditates on a picture and
                decides
                > > whether you are meant for his boat or not.)
                > >
                > > So I ran home, took a picture, wrote a note that I absolutely
                want
                > > to become a disciple, sent it to Munich and was praying that it
                was
                > > not to late for me.
                > >
                > > And - I became a disciple and I am very happy about it.
                > >
                > > It was exactly on an monday afternoon, that I felt a strong
                energy
                > > flowing through me. I had to sit down and somehow I knew I was
                > > accepted. I have to say at that time I was afraid of many tiny
                > > things I couldn't explain to myself. But when I felt this energy
                I
                > > was all peace and had a comfortable feeling.
                > >
                > > When the Whites from Munich came to our city and informed me
                about
                > > me acceptance of the master I just nodded and said:"I know."
                > >
                > > Pramodan was laughing.
                > >
                > > All gratitude
                > >
                > > Doris
                > >
                > > P.S. A master like Sri Chinmoy went through all the life
                experiences
                > > we human beings are going through here on earth and reached
                > > liberation and realisation through I don't how many incarnations
                of
                > > disciplined prayer, meditation and faith in God. When somebody
                > > reaches this high standard he can freely leave the earth and
                enjoy
                > > rest in heaven.
                > >
                > > Sri Chinmoy came back to earth only for one purpose: to help and
                > > guide us in our struggle for leading a higher and more fulfilling
                > > life. Today I am tearfully grateful to him.
                > >
                > >
                > > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com,
                shane_dublincentre
                > > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                > > >
                > > >
                > > >
                > > > hi niriha...
                > > >
                > > > I think youve just written the lead article for this web page
                that
                > > > everyone's talking about... :)
                > > >
                > > > I read articles like this and think "Wow, this path seems
                sometimes
                > > > all paths within one; so many different personalities on it, so
                > > many
                > > > different ways to advance upon it, so many different
                circumstances
                > > > under which people have found it in the first place..." For
                > > example,
                > > > my essay as to how I joined the path would go a little like
                this:
                > > >
                > > > ************
                > > >
                > > > How I Came to Sri Chinmoys Path - by Shane
                > > >
                > > > Saw meditation poster and figured I could use a few extra
                > > techniques.
                > > > Liked what I saw. Had reservations about the lifestyle. Told
                > > myself to
                > > > just take it one day at a time. Wow, I'm still here.
                > > >
                > > > *************
                > > >
                > > > Now, youll find this essay in Mahabaratised form on my web
                page,
                > > but
                > > > even with the added flickers and flourishes I still dont think
                > > youll
                > > > find an experience as dramatic as Niriha's there. I don't mind
                in
                > > the
                > > > slightest. I think there are people who need something like
                that
                > > and
                > > > then there are others on whom the same experience would
                completely
                > > be
                > > > lost. My life tends to be full enough of bombastic drama on the
                > > outer
                > > > plane anyways, I think a lifetime of steady gradual assured
                growth
                > > is
                > > > just the ticket to level me out a bit.
                > > >
                > > > Still, I do like hearing about everyone else's stories :)
                > > >
                > > > Shane
                > > >
                > > >
                > > >
                > > >
                > > >
                > > > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, niriha7
                > > > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                > > > >
                > > > >
                > > > >
                > > > >
                > > > > To Sarah in Seattle (who asked), and to any seeker or
                aspirant
                > > who
                > > > > feels that the "leap of faith" is just too daunting.
                > > > >
                > > > >
                > > > > How I Came To Sri Chinmoy's Path
                > > > >
                > > > > In the early seventies I graduated from college and decided to
                > > > > postpone graduate school. Shortly after graduating, I went on
                a
                > > four
                > > > > week trip to Russia which was organized by a professor of
                Russian
                > > > > language and literature from my school. A wealthy person who
                was
                > > > > planning to join the tour had to cancel at the last minute and
                > > > > requested that a student be selected to replace her. She
                would
                > > pay
                > > > > for that student to make the trip, since it was too late for
                her
                > > to
                > > > > receive a refund. I was selected solely on enthusiasm and
                that is
                > > > > the truth!
                > > > >
                > > > > After returning home, I worked for one year in a field
                related to
                > > > > what I intended to study in graduate school – psychology –
                > > trying to
                > > > > determine if becoming a therapist was truly something I
                wanted to
                > > > > do. During that year, a friend told me about some inexpensive
                > > > > charter flights to Europe. I already had a passport, had saved
                > > > > enough money from working during the year, and was intrigued
                at
                > > the
                > > > > chance to travel - though I did not know anyone in Europe.
                > > > >
                > > > > After almost seven months of wandering around Europe by
                myself
                > > and
                > > > > thoroughly enjoying it, every minute of every day, I did not
                > > want to
                > > > > come home. I was not concerned over how I would support myself
                > > > > there, as I had a few ideas. Besides, in those seven months I
                had
                > > > > learned to live on very little. If I returned home, there was
                a
                > > > > possibility of a very good job in my chosen field, but I had a
                > > > > feeling that once home I would find that it was not
                available.
                > > After
                > > > > all, I had written from Europe of my continuing interest in
                the
                > > job
                > > > > and had not received a reply. (It turned out that the
                department
                > > > > head who had promised me the job had gone on to greener
                > > pastures.)
                > > > > During my travels I had dropped plans for graduate school –
                at
                > > least
                > > > > for the time being. The idea of going back to an academic
                setting
                > > > > after sixteen years of it and after experiencing the freedom
                I
                > > felt
                > > > > in my travels did not feel right.
                > > > >
                > > > > So it seemed that it would be wonderful to live in Europe, as
                > > > > "freedom" had become my quest...if only this nagging feeling
                > > that I
                > > > > HAD to return home would just leave me. It did not - so I
                > > returned
                > > > > to the U.S. and worked at a nondescript job for six months on
                the
                > > > > east coast before heading out to San Francisco.
                > > > >
                > > > > One day, I met my brother for lunch. He had lived in San
                > > Francisco
                > > > > for about two years and had just become a student of Sri
                > > Chinmoy. He
                > > > > told me about his spiritual path. I recall thinking that my
                > > brother
                > > > > had a great spiritual master because he is a developed soul,
                > > whereas
                > > > > it would be impossible for me to have such a master because -
                > > well,
                > > > > it seemed to me that I was not advanced enough. I was happy
                for
                > > him.
                > > > > Some days after hearing of my brother's changed life, I recall
                > > > > thinking that my brother had joined a group and therefore was
                > > not as
                > > > > free as I was. Back and forth my mind traveled between these
                two
                > > > > points of view: how fortunate my brother is to have a great
                > > > > spiritual master; how lucky I am to be so free whereas my
                > > brother is
                > > > > not since he belongs to a group. I equated freedom
                with "flying
                > > > > solo."
                > > > >
                > > > > Seven months after my brother had told me about his spiritual
                > > > > master, I had a dream in which Sri Chinmoy appeared to me: I
                was
                > > to
                > > > > play a classical guitar piece for an audience and was very
                > > nervous
                > > > > as I waited to go on stage. A man in long white garments whom
                I
                > > had
                > > > > not seen before came to me and looked at me with deep
                > > compassion. I
                > > > > felt a peaceful flow of energy go through me. I went out onto
                the
                > > > > stage and started playing. My fingers danced over the strings
                > > > > effortlessly. The music was breathlessly beautiful and was
                being
                > > > > played through me. Delight and more delight I felt. In the
                dream
                > > I
                > > > > said to myself, "Oh, so this is what 'it' is like" – "it" of
                > > course
                > > > > referring to what one would experience if ego were not
                present in
                > > > > what one was doing. When I saw Sri Chinmoy for the first
                time, I
                > > > > realized that he had been the person in the dream who had
                > > appeared
                > > > > before me.
                > > > >
                > > > > Three months after the dream, Sri Chinmoy came to San
                Francisco
                > > and
                > > > > offered a concert and meditation at a beautiful sacred space
                > > there.
                > > > > My brother invited me and I had planned to go, but was so
                tired
                > > > > after a long day of working that at 7:30 p.m., the start time
                of
                > > the
                > > > > concert, I was dozing on my sofa. Then I felt a flow of
                energy
                > > just
                > > > > as I had felt in the dream a couple of months earlier. For
                some
                > > > > reason, I understood that this meant that I had to go to the
                > > > > concert. Fortunately, I lived only three blocks from the
                venue. I
                > > > > literally dragged myself there and sat in the very last row
                as
                > > the
                > > > > large space was filled to capacity. I very much enjoyed the
                > > music I
                > > > > heard, and felt deeply peaceful from the atmosphere there.
                > > > >
                > > > > At the end of the concert, an announcement was made inviting
                > > anyone
                > > > > who wished to come up and meditate personally with Sri
                Chinmoy. I
                > > > > went up with many other members of the audience and stood in
                a
                > > large
                > > > > semi-circle. I felt it would be such a blessing to meditate
                with
                > > > > this great spiritual master and I wanted a closer look since
                I
                > > had
                > > > > been sitting so far back.
                > > > >
                > > > > Sri Chinmoy stood facing us with his hands folded. He
                meditated
                > > one
                > > > > by one on each aspirant. As I stood there, tears started
                > > > > spontaneously flowing. I had a clear feeling that he had
                known me
                > > > > "forever" and that I had known him "forever." I felt as
                though I
                > > was
                > > > > standing before "divinity on earth." I deeply and
                spontaneously
                > > > > wanted to "fall on my knees," but with utmost restraint
                > > prohibited
                > > > > myself from doing this. By the time Sri Chinmoy was looking
                > > directly
                > > > > at me, I could no longer see him clearly – not because of my
                > > tears
                > > > > but because his form appeared as pure light with only a vague
                > > > > outline of his physical form visible to me. As he was
                meditating
                > > on
                > > > > me, unmistakably I inwardly heard the words, "If you take
                this
                > > step,
                > > > > there is no turning back." At once it became clear to me that
                if
                > > I
                > > > > were to "step upon the spiritual path," this would be a
                decision
                > > > > like no other I had ever made or ever would make. In no way
                did I
                > > > > feel capable of such a commitment.
                > > > >
                > > > > Because I had arrived late, I was not sitting with my
                brother.
                > > After
                > > > > everything was over, he came up to me and said, "Sri Chinmoy
                will
                > > > > meet privately with seekers who wish to become his students.
                > > Would
                > > > > you like to ask to become his student?" I looked at him
                silently
                > > for
                > > > > a moment and then quietly said, "No."
                > > > >
                > > > > In a matter of fact way, my brother then asked if I would
                like to
                > > > > accompany him to the meeting where students of Sri Chinmoy
                and
                > > those
                > > > > requesting to become his students would meet. I thanked him
                and
                > > said
                > > > > that I would enjoy accompanying him.
                > > > >
                > > > > At this meeting, the seekers went up one by one to meditate
                with
                > > Sri
                > > > > Chinmoy. They were told that Sri Chinmoy sees clearly if one
                is
                > > > > meant for his path or if a different path would be more
                suitable
                > > for
                > > > > the aspirant. For this reason, he meditates with each person
                > > > > individually.
                > > > >
                > > > > As I sat there watching each person go in front of Sri
                Chinmoy
                > > and
                > > > > meditate with him, an increasingly strong feeling that I had
                to
                > > go
                > > > > up and meditate with him and become his student developed
                inside
                > > of
                > > > > me.
                > > > >
                > > > > Frankly, it is impossible to describe the inner command I
                > > > > experienced. Immediately I recognized this feeling as similar
                to
                > > the
                > > > > feeling that compelled me to return home from Europe, and the
                > > > > feeling that urged me to attend the concert and meditation –
                only
                > > > > this time the inner command was far more powerful. It was
                coming
                > > > > from the deepest part of myself.
                > > > >
                > > > > After everyone who wished to become a student of meditation
                with
                > > Sri
                > > > > Chinmoy had gone up, and that portion of the meeting was
                > > seemingly
                > > > > finished, I somehow found myself standing in front of Sri
                > > Chinmoy.
                > > > > He gave me a beautiful, sweet and at the same time powerful
                > > smile.
                > > > > After some minutes, I returned to my seat not quite believing
                > > that
                > > > > basically, I had just asked to become his student!
                > > > >
                > > > > I returned to my apartment knowing that when I received a
                phone
                > > call
                > > > > the next morning telling me if I had been accepted as Sri
                > > Chinmoy's
                > > > > student, that would be it. I would have to "take that step."
                > > > >
                > > > > I sat up until the wee hours of the morning chanting silently,
                > > > > "Please do not accept me. Please know that I am not ready.
                > > Please do
                > > > > not accept me. Please know that I am not ready." Over and
                over
                > > and
                > > > > over I silently chanted my mantra: "Please do not accept me
                > > Please
                > > > > know that I am not ready."
                > > > >
                > > > > The next morning I received a phone call. "Hello, good
                morning. I
                > > > > want to tell you that Sri Chinmoy has accepted you as his
                > > student."
                > > > >
                > > > > I swallowed hard and said, "Oh, um that is great. Thank you."
                > > > >
                > > > > By now you have either stopped reading or you are asking with
                > > some
                > > > > exasperation, "If you felt so reluctant, why did you not just
                say
                > > > > that you had changed your mind or that you did not want to do
                > > this
                > > > > after all?"
                > > > >
                > > > > My reply would be, "When God, an enlightened spiritual
                master,
                > > and
                > > > > your own soul get together with a plan for your very
                existence,
                > > your
                > > > > little "i" does not stand a chance of asserting itself."
                Thank
                > > God!
              • sare_bear2713
                ... I loved reading your story Niriha. It is not too personal. It is very inspiring for us and an honest account of Sri Chinmoy s compassion. I laughed at the
                Message 7 of 24 , Apr 4 2:39 AM
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                  --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, niriha7
                  <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                  >
                  I loved reading your story Niriha. It is not too personal. It is
                  very inspiring for us and an honest account of Sri Chinmoy's
                  compassion.
                  I laughed at the inner 'argument' that you had before receiving
                  the 'acceptance' phone call. (I often am amazed at how my own mind
                  can verbalise a similar kind of intense 'resistance'!).
                  See you soon at celebrations I hope.
                  Sarah
                  Melbourne
                  (PS: thanks for the 'slap on the wrist' for my spelling errors, that
                  you gave me on the Christmas trip!)


                  > Hi Alex, your use of the word history evoked a smile, because in
                  two
                  > weeks it will have been thirty-one years since the evening I wrote
                  > about took place.
                  >
                  > I am happy that you received inspiration from my telling of this
                  > story. I also received some criticism that it was too personal. :-
                  )
                  > Such is life. Niriha
                  >
                  > PS The trip to Russia that I referred to in the story, took place
                  in
                  > 1971. I went to Moscow, Vladamir (outside of Moscow),
                  St.Petersburg
                  > (Leningrad at that time), Tiblisi, Kiev, Tash Kent and Samarkand.
                  Our
                  > small group of 14 persons took a trip into the Caucasus mountains
                  and
                  > heard the Georgian National Singers. As I was listening to them,
                  I
                  > was deeply moved. I remember it to this day and I still have a
                  > recording of their singing.
                  >
                  >
                  >
                  >
                  >
                  >
                  >
                  >
                  >
                  >
                  > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, alex_syberia
                  > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                  > >
                  > > Dear Niriha,
                  > >
                  > > Thanks for your inspiring story! It is very fine history.
                  > >
                  > > Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude.
                  > >
                  > > Alex (Siberia).
                  > >
                  > > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, niriha7
                  > > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                  > > >
                  > > >
                  > > >
                  > > >
                  > > > To Sarah in Seattle (who asked), and to any seeker or aspirant
                  who
                  > > > feels that the "leap of faith" is just too daunting.
                  > > >
                  > > >
                  > > > How I Came To Sri Chinmoy's Path
                  > > >
                  > > > In the early seventies I graduated from college and decided to
                  > > > postpone graduate school. Shortly after graduating, I went on
                  a
                  > four
                  > > > week trip to Russia which was organized by a professor of
                  Russian
                  > > > language and literature from my school. A wealthy person who
                  was
                  > > > planning to join the tour had to cancel at the last minute and
                  > > > requested that a student be selected to replace her. She would
                  pay
                  > > > for that student to make the trip, since it was too late for
                  her
                  > to
                  > > > receive a refund. I was selected solely on enthusiasm and that
                  is
                  > > > the truth!
                  > > >
                  > > > After returning home, I worked for one year in a field related
                  to
                  > > > what I intended to study in graduate school Epsychology E
                  trying
                  > to
                  > > > determine if becoming a therapist was truly something I wanted
                  to
                  > > > do. During that year, a friend told me about some inexpensive
                  > > > charter flights to Europe. I already had a passport, had saved
                  > > > enough money from working during the year, and was intrigued
                  at
                  > the
                  > > > chance to travel - though I did not know anyone in Europe.
                  > > >
                  > > > After almost seven months of wandering around Europe by myself
                  and
                  > > > thoroughly enjoying it, every minute of every day, I did not
                  want
                  > to
                  > > > come home. I was not concerned over how I would support myself
                  > > > there, as I had a few ideas. Besides, in those seven months I
                  had
                  > > > learned to live on very little. If I returned home, there was a
                  > > > possibility of a very good job in my chosen field, but I had a
                  > > > feeling that once home I would find that it was not available.
                  > After
                  > > > all, I had written from Europe of my continuing interest in
                  the
                  > job
                  > > > and had not received a reply. (It turned out that the
                  department
                  > > > head who had promised me the job had gone on to greener
                  pastures.)
                  > > > During my travels I had dropped plans for graduate school Eat
                  > least
                  > > > for the time being. The idea of going back to an academic
                  setting
                  > > > after sixteen years of it and after experiencing the freedom I
                  > felt
                  > > > in my travels did not feel right.
                  > > >
                  > > > So it seemed that it would be wonderful to live in Europe, as
                  > > > "freedom" had become my quest...if only this nagging feeling
                  that
                  > I
                  > > > HAD to return home would just leave me. It did not - so I
                  returned
                  > > > to the U.S. and worked at a nondescript job for six months on
                  the
                  > > > east coast before heading out to San Francisco.
                  > > >
                  > > > One day, I met my brother for lunch. He had lived in San
                  Francisco
                  > > > for about two years and had just become a student of Sri
                  Chinmoy.
                  > He
                  > > > told me about his spiritual path. I recall thinking that my
                  > brother
                  > > > had a great spiritual master because he is a developed soul,
                  > whereas
                  > > > it would be impossible for me to have such a master because -
                  > well,
                  > > > it seemed to me that I was not advanced enough. I was happy
                  for
                  > him.
                  > > > Some days after hearing of my brother's changed life, I recall
                  > > > thinking that my brother had joined a group and therefore was
                  not
                  > as
                  > > > free as I was. Back and forth my mind traveled between these
                  two
                  > > > points of view: how fortunate my brother is to have a great
                  > > > spiritual master; how lucky I am to be so free whereas my
                  brother
                  > is
                  > > > not since he belongs to a group. I equated freedom with "flying
                  > > > solo."
                  > > >
                  > > > Seven months after my brother had told me about his spiritual
                  > > > master, I had a dream in which Sri Chinmoy appeared to me: I
                  was
                  > to
                  > > > play a classical guitar piece for an audience and was very
                  nervous
                  > > > as I waited to go on stage. A man in long white garments whom
                  I
                  > had
                  > > > not seen before came to me and looked at me with deep
                  compassion.
                  > I
                  > > > felt a peaceful flow of energy go through me. I went out onto
                  the
                  > > > stage and started playing. My fingers danced over the strings
                  > > > effortlessly. The music was breathlessly beautiful and was
                  being
                  > > > played through me. Delight and more delight I felt. In the
                  dream I
                  > > > said to myself, "Oh, so this is what 'it' is like" E"it" of
                  > course
                  > > > referring to what one would experience if ego were not present
                  in
                  > > > what one was doing. When I saw Sri Chinmoy for the first time,
                  I
                  > > > realized that he had been the person in the dream who had
                  appeared
                  > > > before me.
                  > > >
                  > > > Three months after the dream, Sri Chinmoy came to San
                  Francisco
                  > and
                  > > > offered a concert and meditation at a beautiful sacred space
                  > there.
                  > > > My brother invited me and I had planned to go, but was so tired
                  > > > after a long day of working that at 7:30 p.m., the start time
                  of
                  > the
                  > > > concert, I was dozing on my sofa. Then I felt a flow of energy
                  > just
                  > > > as I had felt in the dream a couple of months earlier. For some
                  > > > reason, I understood that this meant that I had to go to the
                  > > > concert. Fortunately, I lived only three blocks from the
                  venue. I
                  > > > literally dragged myself there and sat in the very last row as
                  the
                  > > > large space was filled to capacity. I very much enjoyed the
                  music
                  > I
                  > > > heard, and felt deeply peaceful from the atmosphere there.
                  > > >
                  > > > At the end of the concert, an announcement was made inviting
                  > anyone
                  > > > who wished to come up and meditate personally with Sri
                  Chinmoy. I
                  > > > went up with many other members of the audience and stood in a
                  > large
                  > > > semi-circle. I felt it would be such a blessing to meditate
                  with
                  > > > this great spiritual master and I wanted a closer look since I
                  had
                  > > > been sitting so far back.
                  > > >
                  > > > Sri Chinmoy stood facing us with his hands folded. He
                  meditated
                  > one
                  > > > by one on each aspirant. As I stood there, tears started
                  > > > spontaneously flowing. I had a clear feeling that he had known
                  me
                  > > > "forever" and that I had known him "forever." I felt as though
                  I
                  > was
                  > > > standing before "divinity on earth." I deeply and spontaneously
                  > > > wanted to "fall on my knees," but with utmost restraint
                  prohibited
                  > > > myself from doing this. By the time Sri Chinmoy was looking
                  > directly
                  > > > at me, I could no longer see him clearly Enot because of my
                  tears
                  > > > but because his form appeared as pure light with only a vague
                  > > > outline of his physical form visible to me. As he was
                  meditating
                  > on
                  > > > me, unmistakably I inwardly heard the words, "If you take this
                  > step,
                  > > > there is no turning back." At once it became clear to me that
                  if I
                  > > > were to "step upon the spiritual path," this would be a
                  decision
                  > > > like no other I had ever made or ever would make. In no way
                  did I
                  > > > feel capable of such a commitment.
                  > > >
                  > > > Because I had arrived late, I was not sitting with my brother.
                  > After
                  > > > everything was over, he came up to me and said, "Sri Chinmoy
                  will
                  > > > meet privately with seekers who wish to become his students.
                  Would
                  > > > you like to ask to become his student?" I looked at him
                  silently
                  > for
                  > > > a moment and then quietly said, "No."
                  > > >
                  > > > In a matter of fact way, my brother then asked if I would like
                  to
                  > > > accompany him to the meeting where students of Sri Chinmoy and
                  > those
                  > > > requesting to become his students would meet. I thanked him
                  and
                  > said
                  > > > that I would enjoy accompanying him.
                  > > >
                  > > > At this meeting, the seekers went up one by one to meditate
                  with
                  > Sri
                  > > > Chinmoy. They were told that Sri Chinmoy sees clearly if one is
                  > > > meant for his path or if a different path would be more
                  suitable
                  > for
                  > > > the aspirant. For this reason, he meditates with each person
                  > > > individually.
                  > > >
                  > > > As I sat there watching each person go in front of Sri Chinmoy
                  and
                  > > > meditate with him, an increasingly strong feeling that I had
                  to go
                  > > > up and meditate with him and become his student developed
                  inside
                  > of
                  > > > me.
                  > > >
                  > > > Frankly, it is impossible to describe the inner command I
                  > > > experienced. Immediately I recognized this feeling as similar
                  to
                  > the
                  > > > feeling that compelled me to return home from Europe, and the
                  > > > feeling that urged me to attend the concert and meditation E
                  only
                  > > > this time the inner command was far more powerful. It was
                  coming
                  > > > from the deepest part of myself.
                  > > >
                  > > > After everyone who wished to become a student of meditation
                  with
                  > Sri
                  > > > Chinmoy had gone up, and that portion of the meeting was
                  seemingly
                  > > > finished, I somehow found myself standing in front of Sri
                  Chinmoy.
                  > > > He gave me a beautiful, sweet and at the same time powerful
                  smile.
                  > > > After some minutes, I returned to my seat not quite believing
                  that
                  > > > basically, I had just asked to become his student!
                  > > >
                  > > > I returned to my apartment knowing that when I received a
                  phone
                  > call
                  > > > the next morning telling me if I had been accepted as Sri
                  > Chinmoy's
                  > > > student, that would be it. I would have to "take that step."
                  > > >
                  > > > I sat up until the wee hours of the morning chanting silently,
                  > > > "Please do not accept me. Please know that I am not ready.
                  Please
                  > do
                  > > > not accept me. Please know that I am not ready." Over and over
                  and
                  > > > over I silently chanted my mantra: "Please do not accept me
                  Please
                  > > > know that I am not ready."
                  > > >
                  > > > The next morning I received a phone call. "Hello, good
                  morning. I
                  > > > want to tell you that Sri Chinmoy has accepted you as his
                  > student."
                  > > >
                  > > > I swallowed hard and said, "Oh, um that is great. Thank you."
                  > > >
                  > > > By now you have either stopped reading or you are asking with
                  some
                  > > > exasperation, "If you felt so reluctant, why did you not just
                  say
                  > > > that you had changed your mind or that you did not want to do
                  this
                  > > > after all?"
                  > > >
                  > > > My reply would be, "When God, an enlightened spiritual master,
                  and
                  > > > your own soul get together with a plan for your very
                  existence,
                  > your
                  > > > little "i" does not stand a chance of asserting itself." Thank
                  > God!
                • doriscott20002000
                  A silent thank you, Morris. I think sincerity can be admired only by the sincere. P.S.: I am very grateful for sometimes being corrected grammatically and
                  Message 8 of 24 , Apr 5 2:51 AM
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                    A 'silent' thank you, Morris. I think sincerity can be admired only
                    by the sincere.

                    P.S.: I am very grateful for sometimes being corrected grammatically
                    and also in expression by the A.M.'s.

                    Doris




                    --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, morrisklein27
                    <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                    >
                    >
                    > Dear Doris,
                    >
                    > I have always admired you for offering your interesting stories and
                    > funny (if sometimes quirky) insights on this forum in very
                    readable,
                    > comprehensible English.
                    >
                    > Please continue to offer your charmingly inspring articles!
                    >
                    >
                    > Sincerely,
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    > Morris
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, shane_dublincentre
                    > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                    > >
                    > >
                    > > Dear Doris,
                    > >
                    > > Now, that's a story...
                    > >
                    > > The humour - sometimes it's from just being happy, other times
                    it's
                    > a
                    > > coping mechanism. My line of work (I'm doing a research PhD in
                    > physics
                    > > which is rapidly turning into a disaster of the first magnitude)
                    > tends
                    > > to make my life a little more complicated and confusional than it
                    > > should be, so sometimes I need an outlet valve...
                    > >
                    > > Shane
                    > >
                    > >
                    > > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, doriscott20002000
                    > > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                    > > >
                    > > >
                    > > >
                    > > > Hi Shane,
                    > > >
                    > > > Where did you get that hummor? You must be a happy person or
                    how
                    > one
                    > > > of our participants in the 12 hour swim answered when he was
                    > asked
                    > > > what makes him always smile:" Happiness is suffering without
                    > > > complaining." I like that saying very much.
                    > > >
                    > > > My story? O.K.
                    > > >
                    > > > I saw a poster with many indian names on it (what was unusual
                    at
                    > > > that time in East Germany.)It was announcing a concert.
                    > > >
                    > > > I went there with my friend. I expected to hear classical
                    indian
                    > > > music. I almost cried out:"These are children's songs" and I
                    was
                    > a
                    > > > bit puzzled.
                    > > >
                    > > > We attended a class and called the boys who would come from
                    > Munich
                    > > > each weekend: "The Whites were coming."
                    > > >
                    > > > Pramodan told us how difficult it was to find a spiritual
                    master,
                    > it
                    > > > would be like searching for a needle in a heap. I thought,
                    well,
                    > > > lucky boy.
                    > > >
                    > > > One day he offered me the possibility to become a disciple and-
                    I
                    > > > was scared to death; O no, not me, this boy was so shining and
                    I?
                    > > > No, I can't, the master will not accept someone like me.
                    > > >
                    > > > They left our city and I walked two days (with interruptions)
                    > through
                    > > > the forest and didn't know what to do.
                    > > >
                    > > > Suddenly it came to my mind that it could have become to late
                    for
                    > me
                    > > > to give my picture.(Sri Chinmoy meditates on a picture and
                    > decides
                    > > > whether you are meant for his boat or not.)
                    > > >
                    > > > So I ran home, took a picture, wrote a note that I absolutely
                    > want
                    > > > to become a disciple, sent it to Munich and was praying that it
                    > was
                    > > > not to late for me.
                    > > >
                    > > > And - I became a disciple and I am very happy about it.
                    > > >
                    > > > It was exactly on an monday afternoon, that I felt a strong
                    > energy
                    > > > flowing through me. I had to sit down and somehow I knew I was
                    > > > accepted. I have to say at that time I was afraid of many tiny
                    > > > things I couldn't explain to myself. But when I felt this
                    energy
                    > I
                    > > > was all peace and had a comfortable feeling.
                    > > >
                    > > > When the Whites from Munich came to our city and informed me
                    > about
                    > > > me acceptance of the master I just nodded and said:"I know."
                    > > >
                    > > > Pramodan was laughing.
                    > > >
                    > > > All gratitude
                    > > >
                    > > > Doris
                    > > >
                    > > > P.S. A master like Sri Chinmoy went through all the life
                    > experiences
                    > > > we human beings are going through here on earth and reached
                    > > > liberation and realisation through I don't how many
                    incarnations
                    > of
                    > > > disciplined prayer, meditation and faith in God. When somebody
                    > > > reaches this high standard he can freely leave the earth and
                    > enjoy
                    > > > rest in heaven.
                    > > >
                    > > > Sri Chinmoy came back to earth only for one purpose: to help
                    and
                    > > > guide us in our struggle for leading a higher and more
                    fulfilling
                    > > > life. Today I am tearfully grateful to him.
                    > > >
                    > > >
                    > > > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com,
                    > shane_dublincentre
                    > > > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                    > > > >
                    > > > >
                    > > > >
                    > > > > hi niriha...
                    > > > >
                    > > > > I think youve just written the lead article for this web page
                    > that
                    > > > > everyone's talking about... :)
                    > > > >
                    > > > > I read articles like this and think "Wow, this path seems
                    > sometimes
                    > > > > all paths within one; so many different personalities on it,
                    so
                    > > > many
                    > > > > different ways to advance upon it, so many different
                    > circumstances
                    > > > > under which people have found it in the first place..." For
                    > > > example,
                    > > > > my essay as to how I joined the path would go a little like
                    > this:
                    > > > >
                    > > > > ************
                    > > > >
                    > > > > How I Came to Sri Chinmoys Path - by Shane
                    > > > >
                    > > > > Saw meditation poster and figured I could use a few extra
                    > > > techniques.
                    > > > > Liked what I saw. Had reservations about the lifestyle. Told
                    > > > myself to
                    > > > > just take it one day at a time. Wow, I'm still here.
                    > > > >
                    > > > > *************
                    > > > >
                    > > > > Now, youll find this essay in Mahabaratised form on my web
                    > page,
                    > > > but
                    > > > > even with the added flickers and flourishes I still dont
                    think
                    > > > youll
                    > > > > find an experience as dramatic as Niriha's there. I don't
                    mind
                    > in
                    > > > the
                    > > > > slightest. I think there are people who need something like
                    > that
                    > > > and
                    > > > > then there are others on whom the same experience would
                    > completely
                    > > > be
                    > > > > lost. My life tends to be full enough of bombastic drama on
                    the
                    > > > outer
                    > > > > plane anyways, I think a lifetime of steady gradual assured
                    > growth
                    > > > is
                    > > > > just the ticket to level me out a bit.
                    > > > >
                    > > > > Still, I do like hearing about everyone else's stories :)
                    > > > >
                    > > > > Shane
                    > > > >
                    > > > >
                    > > > >
                    > > > >
                    > > > >
                    > > > > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, niriha7
                    > > > > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > To Sarah in Seattle (who asked), and to any seeker or
                    > aspirant
                    > > > who
                    > > > > > feels that the "leap of faith" is just too daunting.
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > How I Came To Sri Chinmoy's Path
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > In the early seventies I graduated from college and decided
                    to
                    > > > > > postpone graduate school. Shortly after graduating, I went
                    on
                    > a
                    > > > four
                    > > > > > week trip to Russia which was organized by a professor of
                    > Russian
                    > > > > > language and literature from my school. A wealthy person
                    who
                    > was
                    > > > > > planning to join the tour had to cancel at the last minute
                    and
                    > > > > > requested that a student be selected to replace her. She
                    > would
                    > > > pay
                    > > > > > for that student to make the trip, since it was too late
                    for
                    > her
                    > > > to
                    > > > > > receive a refund. I was selected solely on enthusiasm and
                    > that is
                    > > > > > the truth!
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > After returning home, I worked for one year in a field
                    > related to
                    > > > > > what I intended to study in graduate school – psychology –
                    > > > trying to
                    > > > > > determine if becoming a therapist was truly something I
                    > wanted to
                    > > > > > do. During that year, a friend told me about some
                    inexpensive
                    > > > > > charter flights to Europe. I already had a passport, had
                    saved
                    > > > > > enough money from working during the year, and was
                    intrigued
                    > at
                    > > > the
                    > > > > > chance to travel - though I did not know anyone in Europe.
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > After almost seven months of wandering around Europe by
                    > myself
                    > > > and
                    > > > > > thoroughly enjoying it, every minute of every day, I did
                    not
                    > > > want to
                    > > > > > come home. I was not concerned over how I would support
                    myself
                    > > > > > there, as I had a few ideas. Besides, in those seven months
                    I
                    > had
                    > > > > > learned to live on very little. If I returned home, there
                    was
                    > a
                    > > > > > possibility of a very good job in my chosen field, but I
                    had a
                    > > > > > feeling that once home I would find that it was not
                    > available.
                    > > > After
                    > > > > > all, I had written from Europe of my continuing interest in
                    > the
                    > > > job
                    > > > > > and had not received a reply. (It turned out that the
                    > department
                    > > > > > head who had promised me the job had gone on to greener
                    > > > pastures.)
                    > > > > > During my travels I had dropped plans for graduate school –
                    > at
                    > > > least
                    > > > > > for the time being. The idea of going back to an academic
                    > setting
                    > > > > > after sixteen years of it and after experiencing the
                    freedom
                    > I
                    > > > felt
                    > > > > > in my travels did not feel right.
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > So it seemed that it would be wonderful to live in Europe,
                    as
                    > > > > > "freedom" had become my quest...if only this nagging
                    feeling
                    > > > that I
                    > > > > > HAD to return home would just leave me. It did not - so I
                    > > > returned
                    > > > > > to the U.S. and worked at a nondescript job for six months
                    on
                    > the
                    > > > > > east coast before heading out to San Francisco.
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > One day, I met my brother for lunch. He had lived in San
                    > > > Francisco
                    > > > > > for about two years and had just become a student of Sri
                    > > > Chinmoy. He
                    > > > > > told me about his spiritual path. I recall thinking that my
                    > > > brother
                    > > > > > had a great spiritual master because he is a developed
                    soul,
                    > > > whereas
                    > > > > > it would be impossible for me to have such a master
                    because -
                    > > > well,
                    > > > > > it seemed to me that I was not advanced enough. I was happy
                    > for
                    > > > him.
                    > > > > > Some days after hearing of my brother's changed life, I
                    recall
                    > > > > > thinking that my brother had joined a group and therefore
                    was
                    > > > not as
                    > > > > > free as I was. Back and forth my mind traveled between
                    these
                    > two
                    > > > > > points of view: how fortunate my brother is to have a great
                    > > > > > spiritual master; how lucky I am to be so free whereas my
                    > > > brother is
                    > > > > > not since he belongs to a group. I equated freedom
                    > with "flying
                    > > > > > solo."
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > Seven months after my brother had told me about his
                    spiritual
                    > > > > > master, I had a dream in which Sri Chinmoy appeared to me:
                    I
                    > was
                    > > > to
                    > > > > > play a classical guitar piece for an audience and was very
                    > > > nervous
                    > > > > > as I waited to go on stage. A man in long white garments
                    whom
                    > I
                    > > > had
                    > > > > > not seen before came to me and looked at me with deep
                    > > > compassion. I
                    > > > > > felt a peaceful flow of energy go through me. I went out
                    onto
                    > the
                    > > > > > stage and started playing. My fingers danced over the
                    strings
                    > > > > > effortlessly. The music was breathlessly beautiful and was
                    > being
                    > > > > > played through me. Delight and more delight I felt. In the
                    > dream
                    > > > I
                    > > > > > said to myself, "Oh, so this is what 'it' is like" – "it"
                    of
                    > > > course
                    > > > > > referring to what one would experience if ego were not
                    > present in
                    > > > > > what one was doing. When I saw Sri Chinmoy for the first
                    > time, I
                    > > > > > realized that he had been the person in the dream who had
                    > > > appeared
                    > > > > > before me.
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > Three months after the dream, Sri Chinmoy came to San
                    > Francisco
                    > > > and
                    > > > > > offered a concert and meditation at a beautiful sacred
                    space
                    > > > there.
                    > > > > > My brother invited me and I had planned to go, but was so
                    > tired
                    > > > > > after a long day of working that at 7:30 p.m., the start
                    time
                    > of
                    > > > the
                    > > > > > concert, I was dozing on my sofa. Then I felt a flow of
                    > energy
                    > > > just
                    > > > > > as I had felt in the dream a couple of months earlier. For
                    > some
                    > > > > > reason, I understood that this meant that I had to go to the
                    > > > > > concert. Fortunately, I lived only three blocks from the
                    > venue. I
                    > > > > > literally dragged myself there and sat in the very last row
                    > as
                    > > > the
                    > > > > > large space was filled to capacity. I very much enjoyed the
                    > > > music I
                    > > > > > heard, and felt deeply peaceful from the atmosphere there.
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > At the end of the concert, an announcement was made
                    inviting
                    > > > anyone
                    > > > > > who wished to come up and meditate personally with Sri
                    > Chinmoy. I
                    > > > > > went up with many other members of the audience and stood
                    in
                    > a
                    > > > large
                    > > > > > semi-circle. I felt it would be such a blessing to meditate
                    > with
                    > > > > > this great spiritual master and I wanted a closer look
                    since
                    > I
                    > > > had
                    > > > > > been sitting so far back.
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > Sri Chinmoy stood facing us with his hands folded. He
                    > meditated
                    > > > one
                    > > > > > by one on each aspirant. As I stood there, tears started
                    > > > > > spontaneously flowing. I had a clear feeling that he had
                    > known me
                    > > > > > "forever" and that I had known him "forever." I felt as
                    > though I
                    > > > was
                    > > > > > standing before "divinity on earth." I deeply and
                    > spontaneously
                    > > > > > wanted to "fall on my knees," but with utmost restraint
                    > > > prohibited
                    > > > > > myself from doing this. By the time Sri Chinmoy was looking
                    > > > directly
                    > > > > > at me, I could no longer see him clearly – not because of
                    my
                    > > > tears
                    > > > > > but because his form appeared as pure light with only a
                    vague
                    > > > > > outline of his physical form visible to me. As he was
                    > meditating
                    > > > on
                    > > > > > me, unmistakably I inwardly heard the words, "If you take
                    > this
                    > > > step,
                    > > > > > there is no turning back." At once it became clear to me
                    that
                    > if
                    > > > I
                    > > > > > were to "step upon the spiritual path," this would be a
                    > decision
                    > > > > > like no other I had ever made or ever would make. In no way
                    > did I
                    > > > > > feel capable of such a commitment.
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > Because I had arrived late, I was not sitting with my
                    > brother.
                    > > > After
                    > > > > > everything was over, he came up to me and said, "Sri
                    Chinmoy
                    > will
                    > > > > > meet privately with seekers who wish to become his
                    students.
                    > > > Would
                    > > > > > you like to ask to become his student?" I looked at him
                    > silently
                    > > > for
                    > > > > > a moment and then quietly said, "No."
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > In a matter of fact way, my brother then asked if I would
                    > like to
                    > > > > > accompany him to the meeting where students of Sri Chinmoy
                    > and
                    > > > those
                    > > > > > requesting to become his students would meet. I thanked him
                    > and
                    > > > said
                    > > > > > that I would enjoy accompanying him.
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > At this meeting, the seekers went up one by one to meditate
                    > with
                    > > > Sri
                    > > > > > Chinmoy. They were told that Sri Chinmoy sees clearly if
                    one
                    > is
                    > > > > > meant for his path or if a different path would be more
                    > suitable
                    > > > for
                    > > > > > the aspirant. For this reason, he meditates with each person
                    > > > > > individually.
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > As I sat there watching each person go in front of Sri
                    > Chinmoy
                    > > > and
                    > > > > > meditate with him, an increasingly strong feeling that I
                    had
                    > to
                    > > > go
                    > > > > > up and meditate with him and become his student developed
                    > inside
                    > > > of
                    > > > > > me.
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > Frankly, it is impossible to describe the inner command I
                    > > > > > experienced. Immediately I recognized this feeling as
                    similar
                    > to
                    > > > the
                    > > > > > feeling that compelled me to return home from Europe, and
                    the
                    > > > > > feeling that urged me to attend the concert and meditation –

                    > only
                    > > > > > this time the inner command was far more powerful. It was
                    > coming
                    > > > > > from the deepest part of myself.
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > After everyone who wished to become a student of meditation
                    > with
                    > > > Sri
                    > > > > > Chinmoy had gone up, and that portion of the meeting was
                    > > > seemingly
                    > > > > > finished, I somehow found myself standing in front of Sri
                    > > > Chinmoy.
                    > > > > > He gave me a beautiful, sweet and at the same time powerful
                    > > > smile.
                    > > > > > After some minutes, I returned to my seat not quite
                    believing
                    > > > that
                    > > > > > basically, I had just asked to become his student!
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > I returned to my apartment knowing that when I received a
                    > phone
                    > > > call
                    > > > > > the next morning telling me if I had been accepted as Sri
                    > > > Chinmoy's
                    > > > > > student, that would be it. I would have to "take that step."
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > I sat up until the wee hours of the morning chanting
                    silently,
                    > > > > > "Please do not accept me. Please know that I am not ready.
                    > > > Please do
                    > > > > > not accept me. Please know that I am not ready." Over and
                    > over
                    > > > and
                    > > > > > over I silently chanted my mantra: "Please do not accept me
                    > > > Please
                    > > > > > know that I am not ready."
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > The next morning I received a phone call. "Hello, good
                    > morning. I
                    > > > > > want to tell you that Sri Chinmoy has accepted you as his
                    > > > student."
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > I swallowed hard and said, "Oh, um that is great. Thank
                    you."
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > By now you have either stopped reading or you are asking
                    with
                    > > > some
                    > > > > > exasperation, "If you felt so reluctant, why did you not
                    just
                    > say
                    > > > > > that you had changed your mind or that you did not want to
                    do
                    > > > this
                    > > > > > after all?"
                    > > > > >
                    > > > > > My reply would be, "When God, an enlightened spiritual
                    > master,
                    > > > and
                    > > > > > your own soul get together with a plan for your very
                    > existence,
                    > > > your
                    > > > > > little "i" does not stand a chance of asserting itself."
                    > Thank
                    > > > God!
                  • niriha7
                    Your regular postings here have been helpful and filled with goodwill. I hope to meet each of you here in New York. Inquiries and name tags will help. Maybe
                    Message 9 of 24 , Apr 5 10:57 PM
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                    • 0 Attachment
                      Your regular postings here have been helpful and filled with
                      goodwill. I hope to meet each of you here in New York.

                      Inquiries and name tags will help. Maybe I will start using a name
                      tag.

                      Beverly, I have been wondering in which city do you live in Canada?

                      See you soon, hopefully. Niriha

















                      --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, beverly_canada
                      <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                      >
                      >
                      > Dear Niriha
                      > Thank-you. Your story deeply touched me.
                      > Beverly
                      >
                      > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, niriha7
                      <no_reply@y...>
                      > wrote:
                      > >
                      > >
                      > >
                      > >
                      > > To Sarah in Seattle (who asked), and to any seeker or aspirant who
                      > > feels that the "leap of faith" is just too daunting.
                      > >
                      > >
                      > > How I Came To Sri Chinmoy's Path
                      > >
                      > > In the early seventies I graduated from college and decided to
                      > > postpone graduate school. Shortly after graduating, I went on a
                      four
                      > > week trip to Russia which was organized by a professor of Russian
                      > > language and literature from my school. A wealthy person who was
                      > > planning to join the tour had to cancel at the last minute and
                      > > requested that a student be selected to replace her. She would pay
                      > > for that student to make the trip, since it was too late for her
                      to
                      > > receive a refund. I was selected solely on enthusiasm and that is
                      > > the truth!
                      > >
                      > > After returning home, I worked for one year in a field related to
                      > > what I intended to study in graduate school – psychology – trying
                      to
                      > > determine if becoming a therapist was truly something I wanted to
                      > > do. During that year, a friend told me about some inexpensive
                      > > charter flights to Europe. I already had a passport, had saved
                      > > enough money from working during the year, and was intrigued at
                      the
                      > > chance to travel - though I did not know anyone in Europe.
                      > >
                      > > After almost seven months of wandering around Europe by myself and
                      > > thoroughly enjoying it, every minute of every day, I did not want
                      to
                      > > come home. I was not concerned over how I would support myself
                      > > there, as I had a few ideas. Besides, in those seven months I had
                      > > learned to live on very little. If I returned home, there was a
                      > > possibility of a very good job in my chosen field, but I had a
                      > > feeling that once home I would find that it was not available.
                      After
                      > > all, I had written from Europe of my continuing interest in the
                      job
                      > > and had not received a reply. (It turned out that the department
                      > > head who had promised me the job had gone on to greener pastures.)
                      > > During my travels I had dropped plans for graduate school – at
                      least
                      > > for the time being. The idea of going back to an academic setting
                      > > after sixteen years of it and after experiencing the freedom I
                      felt
                      > > in my travels did not feel right.
                      > >
                      > > So it seemed that it would be wonderful to live in Europe, as
                      > > "freedom" had become my quest...if only this nagging feeling that
                      I
                      > > HAD to return home would just leave me. It did not - so I returned
                      > > to the U.S. and worked at a nondescript job for six months on the
                      > > east coast before heading out to San Francisco.
                      > >
                      > > One day, I met my brother for lunch. He had lived in San Francisco
                      > > for about two years and had just become a student of Sri Chinmoy.
                      He
                      > > told me about his spiritual path. I recall thinking that my
                      brother
                      > > had a great spiritual master because he is a developed soul,
                      whereas
                      > > it would be impossible for me to have such a master because -
                      well,
                      > > it seemed to me that I was not advanced enough. I was happy for
                      him.
                      > > Some days after hearing of my brother's changed life, I recall
                      > > thinking that my brother had joined a group and therefore was not
                      as
                      > > free as I was. Back and forth my mind traveled between these two
                      > > points of view: how fortunate my brother is to have a great
                      > > spiritual master; how lucky I am to be so free whereas my brother
                      is
                      > > not since he belongs to a group. I equated freedom with "flying
                      > > solo."
                      > >
                      > > Seven months after my brother had told me about his spiritual
                      > > master, I had a dream in which Sri Chinmoy appeared to me: I was
                      to
                      > > play a classical guitar piece for an audience and was very nervous
                      > > as I waited to go on stage. A man in long white garments whom I
                      had
                      > > not seen before came to me and looked at me with deep compassion.
                      I
                      > > felt a peaceful flow of energy go through me. I went out onto the
                      > > stage and started playing. My fingers danced over the strings
                      > > effortlessly. The music was breathlessly beautiful and was being
                      > > played through me. Delight and more delight I felt. In the dream I
                      > > said to myself, "Oh, so this is what 'it' is like" – "it" of
                      course
                      > > referring to what one would experience if ego were not present in
                      > > what one was doing. When I saw Sri Chinmoy for the first time, I
                      > > realized that he had been the person in the dream who had appeared
                      > > before me.
                      > >
                      > > Three months after the dream, Sri Chinmoy came to San Francisco
                      and
                      > > offered a concert and meditation at a beautiful sacred space
                      there.
                      > > My brother invited me and I had planned to go, but was so tired
                      > > after a long day of working that at 7:30 p.m., the start time of
                      the
                      > > concert, I was dozing on my sofa. Then I felt a flow of energy
                      just
                      > > as I had felt in the dream a couple of months earlier. For some
                      > > reason, I understood that this meant that I had to go to the
                      > > concert. Fortunately, I lived only three blocks from the venue. I
                      > > literally dragged myself there and sat in the very last row as the
                      > > large space was filled to capacity. I very much enjoyed the music
                      I
                      > > heard, and felt deeply peaceful from the atmosphere there.
                      > >
                      > > At the end of the concert, an announcement was made inviting
                      anyone
                      > > who wished to come up and meditate personally with Sri Chinmoy. I
                      > > went up with many other members of the audience and stood in a
                      large
                      > > semi-circle. I felt it would be such a blessing to meditate with
                      > > this great spiritual master and I wanted a closer look since I had
                      > > been sitting so far back.
                      > >
                      > > Sri Chinmoy stood facing us with his hands folded. He meditated
                      one
                      > > by one on each aspirant. As I stood there, tears started
                      > > spontaneously flowing. I had a clear feeling that he had known me
                      > > "forever" and that I had known him "forever." I felt as though I
                      was
                      > > standing before "divinity on earth." I deeply and spontaneously
                      > > wanted to "fall on my knees," but with utmost restraint prohibited
                      > > myself from doing this. By the time Sri Chinmoy was looking
                      directly
                      > > at me, I could no longer see him clearly – not because of my tears
                      > > but because his form appeared as pure light with only a vague
                      > > outline of his physical form visible to me. As he was meditating
                      on
                      > > me, unmistakably I inwardly heard the words, "If you take this
                      step,
                      > > there is no turning back." At once it became clear to me that if I
                      > > were to "step upon the spiritual path," this would be a decision
                      > > like no other I had ever made or ever would make. In no way did I
                      > > feel capable of such a commitment.
                      > >
                      > > Because I had arrived late, I was not sitting with my brother.
                      After
                      > > everything was over, he came up to me and said, "Sri Chinmoy will
                      > > meet privately with seekers who wish to become his students. Would
                      > > you like to ask to become his student?" I looked at him silently
                      for
                      > > a moment and then quietly said, "No."
                      > >
                      > > In a matter of fact way, my brother then asked if I would like to
                      > > accompany him to the meeting where students of Sri Chinmoy and
                      those
                      > > requesting to become his students would meet. I thanked him and
                      said
                      > > that I would enjoy accompanying him.
                      > >
                      > > At this meeting, the seekers went up one by one to meditate with
                      Sri
                      > > Chinmoy. They were told that Sri Chinmoy sees clearly if one is
                      > > meant for his path or if a different path would be more suitable
                      for
                      > > the aspirant. For this reason, he meditates with each person
                      > > individually.
                      > >
                      > > As I sat there watching each person go in front of Sri Chinmoy and
                      > > meditate with him, an increasingly strong feeling that I had to go
                      > > up and meditate with him and become his student developed inside
                      of
                      > > me.
                      > >
                      > > Frankly, it is impossible to describe the inner command I
                      > > experienced. Immediately I recognized this feeling as similar to
                      the
                      > > feeling that compelled me to return home from Europe, and the
                      > > feeling that urged me to attend the concert and meditation – only
                      > > this time the inner command was far more powerful. It was coming
                      > > from the deepest part of myself.
                      > >
                      > > After everyone who wished to become a student of meditation with
                      Sri
                      > > Chinmoy had gone up, and that portion of the meeting was seemingly
                      > > finished, I somehow found myself standing in front of Sri Chinmoy.
                      > > He gave me a beautiful, sweet and at the same time powerful smile.
                      > > After some minutes, I returned to my seat not quite believing that
                      > > basically, I had just asked to become his student!
                      > >
                      > > I returned to my apartment knowing that when I received a phone
                      call
                      > > the next morning telling me if I had been accepted as Sri
                      Chinmoy's
                      > > student, that would be it. I would have to "take that step."
                      > >
                      > > I sat up until the wee hours of the morning chanting silently,
                      > > "Please do not accept me. Please know that I am not ready. Please
                      do
                      > > not accept me. Please know that I am not ready." Over and over and
                      > > over I silently chanted my mantra: "Please do not accept me Please
                      > > know that I am not ready."
                      > >
                      > > The next morning I received a phone call. "Hello, good morning. I
                      > > want to tell you that Sri Chinmoy has accepted you as his
                      student."
                      > >
                      > > I swallowed hard and said, "Oh, um that is great. Thank you."
                      > >
                      > > By now you have either stopped reading or you are asking with some
                      > > exasperation, "If you felt so reluctant, why did you not just say
                      > > that you had changed your mind or that you did not want to do this
                      > > after all?"
                      > >
                      > > My reply would be, "When God, an enlightened spiritual master, and
                      > > your own soul get together with a plan for your very existence,
                      your
                      > > little "i" does not stand a chance of asserting itself." Thank
                      God!
                    • anitabusic
                      Dearest Niriha, We know each other already. Maybe you just cannot put the name and face together. I too look forward to say hi to you and others. Here is a
                      Message 10 of 24 , Apr 6 2:48 PM
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                        Dearest Niriha,

                        We know each other already. Maybe you just cannot put the name and
                        face together. I too look forward to say hi to you and others.

                        Here is a thought for the day, from me to all of you:

                        What can meditation do? It can stop the final victory of sorrow.
                        - Sri Chinmoy
                        (unofficial)

                        And a special one for Niriha:

                        My prayer lies in loving God for His own sake.
                        My prayer is the destroyer of errors, born and unborn.
                        - Sri Chinmoy
                        (unofficial)

                        Let me use Kamalakanta's farewell:

                        Joy to all!

                        Anita






                        --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, niriha7
                        <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                        >
                        >
                        >
                        > Your regular postings here have been helpful and filled with
                        > goodwill. I hope to meet each of you here in New York.
                        >
                        > Inquiries and name tags will help. Maybe I will start using a
                        name
                        > tag.
                        >
                        > Beverly, I have been wondering in which city do you live in Canada?
                        >
                        > See you soon, hopefully. Niriha
                        >
                        >
                        >
                        >
                        >
                        >
                        >
                        >
                        >
                        >
                        >
                        >
                        >
                        >
                        >
                        >
                        >
                        > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, beverly_canada
                        > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                        > >
                        > >
                        > > Dear Niriha
                        > > Thank-you. Your story deeply touched me.
                        > > Beverly
                        > >
                        > > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, niriha7
                        > <no_reply@y...>
                        > > wrote:
                        > > >
                        > > >
                        > > >
                        > > >
                        > > > To Sarah in Seattle (who asked), and to any seeker or aspirant
                        who
                        > > > feels that the "leap of faith" is just too daunting.
                        > > >
                        > > >
                        > > > How I Came To Sri Chinmoy's Path
                        > > >
                        > > > In the early seventies I graduated from college and decided to
                        > > > postpone graduate school. Shortly after graduating, I went on
                        a
                        > four
                        > > > week trip to Russia which was organized by a professor of
                        Russian
                        > > > language and literature from my school. A wealthy person who
                        was
                        > > > planning to join the tour had to cancel at the last minute and
                        > > > requested that a student be selected to replace her. She would
                        pay
                        > > > for that student to make the trip, since it was too late for
                        her
                        > to
                        > > > receive a refund. I was selected solely on enthusiasm and that
                        is
                        > > > the truth!
                        > > >
                        > > > After returning home, I worked for one year in a field related
                        to
                        > > > what I intended to study in graduate school – psychology –
                        trying
                        > to
                        > > > determine if becoming a therapist was truly something I wanted
                        to
                        > > > do. During that year, a friend told me about some inexpensive
                        > > > charter flights to Europe. I already had a passport, had saved
                        > > > enough money from working during the year, and was intrigued
                        at
                        > the
                        > > > chance to travel - though I did not know anyone in Europe.
                        > > >
                        > > > After almost seven months of wandering around Europe by myself
                        and
                        > > > thoroughly enjoying it, every minute of every day, I did not
                        want
                        > to
                        > > > come home. I was not concerned over how I would support myself
                        > > > there, as I had a few ideas. Besides, in those seven months I
                        had
                        > > > learned to live on very little. If I returned home, there was a
                        > > > possibility of a very good job in my chosen field, but I had a
                        > > > feeling that once home I would find that it was not available.
                        > After
                        > > > all, I had written from Europe of my continuing interest in
                        the
                        > job
                        > > > and had not received a reply. (It turned out that the
                        department
                        > > > head who had promised me the job had gone on to greener
                        pastures.)
                        > > > During my travels I had dropped plans for graduate school – at
                        > least
                        > > > for the time being. The idea of going back to an academic
                        setting
                        > > > after sixteen years of it and after experiencing the freedom I
                        > felt
                        > > > in my travels did not feel right.
                        > > >
                        > > > So it seemed that it would be wonderful to live in Europe, as
                        > > > "freedom" had become my quest...if only this nagging feeling
                        that
                        > I
                        > > > HAD to return home would just leave me. It did not - so I
                        returned
                        > > > to the U.S. and worked at a nondescript job for six months on
                        the
                        > > > east coast before heading out to San Francisco.
                        > > >
                        > > > One day, I met my brother for lunch. He had lived in San
                        Francisco
                        > > > for about two years and had just become a student of Sri
                        Chinmoy.
                        > He
                        > > > told me about his spiritual path. I recall thinking that my
                        > brother
                        > > > had a great spiritual master because he is a developed soul,
                        > whereas
                        > > > it would be impossible for me to have such a master because -
                        > well,
                        > > > it seemed to me that I was not advanced enough. I was happy
                        for
                        > him.
                        > > > Some days after hearing of my brother's changed life, I recall
                        > > > thinking that my brother had joined a group and therefore was
                        not
                        > as
                        > > > free as I was. Back and forth my mind traveled between these
                        two
                        > > > points of view: how fortunate my brother is to have a great
                        > > > spiritual master; how lucky I am to be so free whereas my
                        brother
                        > is
                        > > > not since he belongs to a group. I equated freedom with "flying
                        > > > solo."
                        > > >
                        > > > Seven months after my brother had told me about his spiritual
                        > > > master, I had a dream in which Sri Chinmoy appeared to me: I
                        was
                        > to
                        > > > play a classical guitar piece for an audience and was very
                        nervous
                        > > > as I waited to go on stage. A man in long white garments whom
                        I
                        > had
                        > > > not seen before came to me and looked at me with deep
                        compassion.
                        > I
                        > > > felt a peaceful flow of energy go through me. I went out onto
                        the
                        > > > stage and started playing. My fingers danced over the strings
                        > > > effortlessly. The music was breathlessly beautiful and was
                        being
                        > > > played through me. Delight and more delight I felt. In the
                        dream I
                        > > > said to myself, "Oh, so this is what 'it' is like" – "it" of
                        > course
                        > > > referring to what one would experience if ego were not present
                        in
                        > > > what one was doing. When I saw Sri Chinmoy for the first time,
                        I
                        > > > realized that he had been the person in the dream who had
                        appeared
                        > > > before me.
                        > > >
                        > > > Three months after the dream, Sri Chinmoy came to San
                        Francisco
                        > and
                        > > > offered a concert and meditation at a beautiful sacred space
                        > there.
                        > > > My brother invited me and I had planned to go, but was so tired
                        > > > after a long day of working that at 7:30 p.m., the start time
                        of
                        > the
                        > > > concert, I was dozing on my sofa. Then I felt a flow of energy
                        > just
                        > > > as I had felt in the dream a couple of months earlier. For some
                        > > > reason, I understood that this meant that I had to go to the
                        > > > concert. Fortunately, I lived only three blocks from the
                        venue. I
                        > > > literally dragged myself there and sat in the very last row as
                        the
                        > > > large space was filled to capacity. I very much enjoyed the
                        music
                        > I
                        > > > heard, and felt deeply peaceful from the atmosphere there.
                        > > >
                        > > > At the end of the concert, an announcement was made inviting
                        > anyone
                        > > > who wished to come up and meditate personally with Sri
                        Chinmoy. I
                        > > > went up with many other members of the audience and stood in a
                        > large
                        > > > semi-circle. I felt it would be such a blessing to meditate
                        with
                        > > > this great spiritual master and I wanted a closer look since I
                        had
                        > > > been sitting so far back.
                        > > >
                        > > > Sri Chinmoy stood facing us with his hands folded. He
                        meditated
                        > one
                        > > > by one on each aspirant. As I stood there, tears started
                        > > > spontaneously flowing. I had a clear feeling that he had known
                        me
                        > > > "forever" and that I had known him "forever." I felt as though
                        I
                        > was
                        > > > standing before "divinity on earth." I deeply and spontaneously
                        > > > wanted to "fall on my knees," but with utmost restraint
                        prohibited
                        > > > myself from doing this. By the time Sri Chinmoy was looking
                        > directly
                        > > > at me, I could no longer see him clearly – not because of my
                        tears
                        > > > but because his form appeared as pure light with only a vague
                        > > > outline of his physical form visible to me. As he was
                        meditating
                        > on
                        > > > me, unmistakably I inwardly heard the words, "If you take this
                        > step,
                        > > > there is no turning back." At once it became clear to me that
                        if I
                        > > > were to "step upon the spiritual path," this would be a
                        decision
                        > > > like no other I had ever made or ever would make. In no way
                        did I
                        > > > feel capable of such a commitment.
                        > > >
                        > > > Because I had arrived late, I was not sitting with my brother.
                        > After
                        > > > everything was over, he came up to me and said, "Sri Chinmoy
                        will
                        > > > meet privately with seekers who wish to become his students.
                        Would
                        > > > you like to ask to become his student?" I looked at him
                        silently
                        > for
                        > > > a moment and then quietly said, "No."
                        > > >
                        > > > In a matter of fact way, my brother then asked if I would like
                        to
                        > > > accompany him to the meeting where students of Sri Chinmoy and
                        > those
                        > > > requesting to become his students would meet. I thanked him
                        and
                        > said
                        > > > that I would enjoy accompanying him.
                        > > >
                        > > > At this meeting, the seekers went up one by one to meditate
                        with
                        > Sri
                        > > > Chinmoy. They were told that Sri Chinmoy sees clearly if one is
                        > > > meant for his path or if a different path would be more
                        suitable
                        > for
                        > > > the aspirant. For this reason, he meditates with each person
                        > > > individually.
                        > > >
                        > > > As I sat there watching each person go in front of Sri Chinmoy
                        and
                        > > > meditate with him, an increasingly strong feeling that I had
                        to go
                        > > > up and meditate with him and become his student developed
                        inside
                        > of
                        > > > me.
                        > > >
                        > > > Frankly, it is impossible to describe the inner command I
                        > > > experienced. Immediately I recognized this feeling as similar
                        to
                        > the
                        > > > feeling that compelled me to return home from Europe, and the
                        > > > feeling that urged me to attend the concert and meditation –
                        only
                        > > > this time the inner command was far more powerful. It was
                        coming
                        > > > from the deepest part of myself.
                        > > >
                        > > > After everyone who wished to become a student of meditation
                        with
                        > Sri
                        > > > Chinmoy had gone up, and that portion of the meeting was
                        seemingly
                        > > > finished, I somehow found myself standing in front of Sri
                        Chinmoy.
                        > > > He gave me a beautiful, sweet and at the same time powerful
                        smile.
                        > > > After some minutes, I returned to my seat not quite believing
                        that
                        > > > basically, I had just asked to become his student!
                        > > >
                        > > > I returned to my apartment knowing that when I received a
                        phone
                        > call
                        > > > the next morning telling me if I had been accepted as Sri
                        > Chinmoy's
                        > > > student, that would be it. I would have to "take that step."
                        > > >
                        > > > I sat up until the wee hours of the morning chanting silently,
                        > > > "Please do not accept me. Please know that I am not ready.
                        Please
                        > do
                        > > > not accept me. Please know that I am not ready." Over and over
                        and
                        > > > over I silently chanted my mantra: "Please do not accept me
                        Please
                        > > > know that I am not ready."
                        > > >
                        > > > The next morning I received a phone call. "Hello, good
                        morning. I
                        > > > want to tell you that Sri Chinmoy has accepted you as his
                        > student."
                        > > >
                        > > > I swallowed hard and said, "Oh, um that is great. Thank you."
                        > > >
                        > > > By now you have either stopped reading or you are asking with
                        some
                        > > > exasperation, "If you felt so reluctant, why did you not just
                        say
                        > > > that you had changed your mind or that you did not want to do
                        this
                        > > > after all?"
                        > > >
                        > > > My reply would be, "When God, an enlightened spiritual master,
                        and
                        > > > your own soul get together with a plan for your very
                        existence,
                        > your
                        > > > little "i" does not stand a chance of asserting itself." Thank
                        > God!
                      • goldenboat27
                        Here I am - back from one of my routines in which I drift away from the Inspiration-Group for a couple of months, just so I can... well, no reason, to be
                        Message 11 of 24 , May 1, 2005
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                          Here I am - back from one of my routines in which I drift away from the
                          Inspiration-Group for a couple of months, just so I can... well, no
                          reason, to be honest. I just drift away.

                          In my attempts to catch up with the past month of postings, I notice
                          Shane's correspondence from about a month ago - yes, I know, everyone's
                          moved on. Look, I've been away!

                          Anyway, I thought I'd briefly reply. Shane mentioned that one thing
                          that makes it easier for new seekers nowadays is looking at people who
                          have been meditating on the Path for 10, 20, 30 years - and thinking
                          "That's me in 10 years!" (I've been meditating for over 10 years, and I
                          hope for Shane's sake that he has far _transcended_ me in 10 years'
                          time! But I digress.)

                          I remember once, some years ago, talking to one of the few people who
                          has been on Sri Chinmoy's Path since the 1960s. Back then, they had no
                          "old" seekers to whom to compare themselves, so he assumed that, after
                          20 years, he would have a multitude of occult powers. When I spoke to
                          him, he still didn't believe he had these powers, and as far as I know,
                          he hasn't attained them since. But as everyone who knows this gentleman
                          is concerned, what life on the Path has given him is far, far greater
                          than mere occult powers.

                          I've noticed that with this Path. You might expect and hope for all
                          sorts of things, but after a few years, you DON'T get what you want.
                          Instead, you have to make do with something BETTER!

                          Mark (Canberra)



                          --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, shane_dublincentre <no_reply@y...>
                          wrote:
                          >
                          >
                          >
                          > Hi Niriha,
                          >
                          > Before we start handing out the 'developed seeker' accolades just yet,
                          > I think I should point out that it's much easier to take that step
                          > towards a spiritual life now than it was thirty years ago. The main
                          > reason is that there are far more people on Sri Chinmoy's path now
                          > than there was back then, and a seeker is able to meet with and make
                          > friends with people who have been meditating on the path for 10 or 20
                          > or 30 years and see the difference the spiritual life has wrought.
                          > It's as if you can say "Yup, that's me in 10, 20, 20 years. I like the
                          > sound of that." Also I think meditation has become a little more
                          > accepted (around here anyways, I don't know about your neck of the
                          > woods), even if only as a lifestyle accessory, the notion of a path
                          > and spiritual Teacher is still unheard of to most.
                          >
                          > I think it's also a lot easier to keep a steady keel - In the early
                          > days everyone was largely clueless as to what was expected on a
                          > spiritul path and more likely to do things detrimental to their
                          > spiritual wellbeing without even realising it, so Sri Chinmoy had to
                          > correct them more often than nowadays. I feel all you older students
                          > have taken these corrections on our behalf, and we have your advice
                          > and counsel to stop us making similar mistakes. Also of course the
                          > other reason I've so far kept my nose clean (at least not on the
                          > outward plane) is the spatial distance; you were under Guru's nose
                          > much of the time, whereas there's a fairly hefty ocean separating me
                          > from New York, and there's usually enough time for wiser heads in the
                          > Dublin Centre to rein in my excesses so Sri Chinmoy need not be
                          > troubled with them. :)
                          >
                          > The weightlifting was something that was on my mind when I wrote my
                          > original reply to you - I was in New York in November for the
                          > weightlifting anniversary and I was helping out a little bit with
                          > moving stuff around and getting to see everything from close quarters.
                          > A team of us were lugging around weights and statues and fishtanks
                          > and whatnot that Sri Chinmoy has just lifted, disassembling the
                          > lifting apparatus and seeing how simple it is in its construction;
                          > there is no way your mind can evade what Guru is doing here. And you
                          > stand there and realise Sri Chinmoy is trying to tell you something
                          > through this lifting, trying to tell the world something but primarily
                          > his students because they're better equipped to listen....I was
                          > telling a friend of mine about the weightlifting who meditates under
                          > the guidance of a Tibetan Buddhist Master, a path with a bigger
                          > emphasis on concrete transmissable teachings than ours: "Dont you
                          > understand? He's teaching you that you can lift elephants; for
                          > Chrissake, he's teaching you how to lift elephants. That there's the
                          > teaching.", he exclaimed, striking one hand forcefully on another to
                          > emphasize the 'that'. And standing there amidst all the weights, it
                          > was indeed as if a tiny window opened up inside me through which
                          > understanding struggled its way through...
                          >
                          > Still another part of me remained rigid, refused to be shocked,
                          > amazed, awed. And I was annoyed. Sri Chinmoy puts himself through so
                          > much to lift those weights, I remember reading that after one
                          > weightlifting performance he couldnt even walk afterwards; in a
                          > perfect world he should only have to go through all that pain once for
                          > me to fully "get it". I was thinking about this when I wrote my reply
                          > to you, Niriha, I was thinking that one might wish for dramatic
                          > experiences but along comes one in the slightly more earthly guise of
                          > weightlifting and much of it is lost on me. Thankfully, Sri Chinmoy
                          > never stops trying to ensure that we will indeed one day "get it"...
                          >
                          > Colm won't be coming this time, unfortunately. However he's turned
                          > himself into a bit of a media star recently, so I might have a few
                          > tapes to show you :)
                          >
                          > Shane
                          >
                          >
                          > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, niriha7
                          > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                          > >
                          > > Now see Shane, that is the difference between a developed seeker and
                          > > an immature one. You were consciously looking for self-improvement -
                          > > for more meditation techniques whereas I did not have the discipline
                          > > to even meditate except on rare occasions though I thought of it
                          > > often and a friend had shown me an easy and effective beginner¡¦s
                          > > technique. (See your influence? That was a long sentence). And
                          > > what¡¦s more, when given the chance, I tried to beg off. The point of
                          > > my story of course is how powerfully and compassionately the divine
                          > > energy can work in us and how an enlightened spiritual master can
                          > > work with all levels of development. You did not give Guru a lot of
                          > > trouble. Well, at least not in the beginning. ļ
                          > >
                          > > This path does seem to be many paths in one. I often say that it is
                          > > possible to see a sampling of the world in Sri Chinmoy¡¦s students.
                          > > Also, we have only to look at the multifarious fields that he has
                          > > manifested his divinity in and through to understand that his path
                          > > would naturally attract all kinds. One of the best examples of this
                          > > that has always intrigued me is in the area of weightlifting. I am
                          > > so amused and touched when I see these large sized guys wanting to
                          > > have a photo with Guru and putting a large, muscular arm around
                          > > Guru's shoulder. The visuals are made even more striking because the
                          > > audience has just witnessed that Sri Chinmoy who is diminutive in
                          > > size compared to these men, just lifted these ¡§giants¡¨. With such
                          > > pride and affection they stand there with him. I hold my breath
                          > > however when they decide to give Guru a hug.
                          > >
                          > > If Colm comes for celebrations, please introduce him to me. Niriha
                          > >
                          > >
                          > >
                          > >
                          > >
                          > >
                          > >
                          > >
                          > >
                          > >
                          > >
                          > >
                          > >
                          > > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, shane_dublincentre
                          > > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                          > > >
                          > > >
                          > > >
                          > > > hi niriha...
                          > > >
                          > > > I think youve just written the lead article for this web page that
                          > > > everyone's talking about... :)
                          > > >
                          > > > I read articles like this and think "Wow, this path seems sometimes
                          > > > all paths within one; so many different personalities on it, so many
                          > > > different ways to advance upon it, so many different circumstances
                          > > > under which people have found it in the first place..." For example,
                          > > > my essay as to how I joined the path would go a little like this:
                          > > >
                          > > > ************
                          > > >
                          > > > How I Came to Sri Chinmoys Path - by Shane
                          > > >
                          > > > Saw meditation poster and figured I could use a few extra
                          > > techniques.
                          > > > Liked what I saw. Had reservations about the lifestyle. Told myself
                          > > to
                          > > > just take it one day at a time. Wow, I'm still here.
                          > > >
                          > > > *************
                          > > >
                          > > > Now, youll find this essay in Mahabaratised form on my web page, but
                          > > > even with the added flickers and flourishes I still dont think youll
                          > > > find an experience as dramatic as Niriha's there. I don't mind in
                          > > the
                          > > > slightest. I think there are people who need something like that and
                          > > > then there are others on whom the same experience would completely
                          > > be
                          > > > lost. My life tends to be full enough of bombastic drama on the
                          > > outer
                          > > > plane anyways, I think a lifetime of steady gradual assured growth
                          > > is
                          > > > just the ticket to level me out a bit.
                          > > >
                          > > > Still, I do like hearing about everyone else's stories :)
                          > > >
                          > > > Shane
                          > > >
                          > > >
                          > > >
                          > > >
                          > > >
                          > > > --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, niriha7
                          > > > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                          > > > >
                          > > > >
                          > > > >
                          > > > >
                          > > > > To Sarah in Seattle (who asked), and to any seeker or aspirant who
                          > > > > feels that the "leap of faith" is just too daunting.
                          > > > >
                          > > > >
                          > > > > How I Came To Sri Chinmoy's Path
                          > > > >
                          > > > > In the early seventies I graduated from college and decided to
                          > > > > postpone graduate school. Shortly after graduating, I went on a
                          > > four
                          > > > > week trip to Russia which was organized by a professor of Russian
                          > > > > language and literature from my school. A wealthy person who was
                          > > > > planning to join the tour had to cancel at the last minute and
                          > > > > requested that a student be selected to replace her. She would pay
                          > > > > for that student to make the trip, since it was too late for her
                          > > to
                          > > > > receive a refund. I was selected solely on enthusiasm and that is
                          > > > > the truth!
                          > > > >
                          > > > > After returning home, I worked for one year in a field related to
                          > > > > what I intended to study in graduate school ¡V psychology ¡V trying
                          > > to
                          > > > > determine if becoming a therapist was truly something I wanted to
                          > > > > do. During that year, a friend told me about some inexpensive
                          > > > > charter flights to Europe. I already had a passport, had saved
                          > > > > enough money from working during the year, and was intrigued at
                          > > the
                          > > > > chance to travel - though I did not know anyone in Europe.
                          > > > >
                          > > > > After almost seven months of wandering around Europe by myself and
                          > > > > thoroughly enjoying it, every minute of every day, I did not want
                          > > to
                          > > > > come home. I was not concerned over how I would support myself
                          > > > > there, as I had a few ideas. Besides, in those seven months I had
                          > > > > learned to live on very little. If I returned home, there was a
                          > > > > possibility of a very good job in my chosen field, but I had a
                          > > > > feeling that once home I would find that it was not available.
                          > > After
                          > > > > all, I had written from Europe of my continuing interest in the
                          > > job
                          > > > > and had not received a reply. (It turned out that the department
                          > > > > head who had promised me the job had gone on to greener pastures.)
                          > > > > During my travels I had dropped plans for graduate school ¡V at
                          > > least
                          > > > > for the time being. The idea of going back to an academic setting
                          > > > > after sixteen years of it and after experiencing the freedom I
                          > > felt
                          > > > > in my travels did not feel right.
                          > > > >
                          > > > > So it seemed that it would be wonderful to live in Europe, as
                          > > > > "freedom" had become my quest...if only this nagging feeling that
                          > > I
                          > > > > HAD to return home would just leave me. It did not - so I returned
                          > > > > to the U.S. and worked at a nondescript job for six months on the
                          > > > > east coast before heading out to San Francisco.
                          > > > >
                          > > > > One day, I met my brother for lunch. He had lived in San Francisco
                          > > > > for about two years and had just become a student of Sri Chinmoy.
                          > > He
                          > > > > told me about his spiritual path. I recall thinking that my
                          > > brother
                          > > > > had a great spiritual master because he is a developed soul,
                          > > whereas
                          > > > > it would be impossible for me to have such a master because -
                          > > well,
                          > > > > it seemed to me that I was not advanced enough. I was happy for
                          > > him.
                          > > > > Some days after hearing of my brother's changed life, I recall
                          > > > > thinking that my brother had joined a group and therefore was not
                          > > as
                          > > > > free as I was. Back and forth my mind traveled between these two
                          > > > > points of view: how fortunate my brother is to have a great
                          > > > > spiritual master; how lucky I am to be so free whereas my brother
                          > > is
                          > > > > not since he belongs to a group. I equated freedom with "flying
                          > > > > solo."
                          > > > >
                          > > > > Seven months after my brother had told me about his spiritual
                          > > > > master, I had a dream in which Sri Chinmoy appeared to me: I was
                          > > to
                          > > > > play a classical guitar piece for an audience and was very nervous
                          > > > > as I waited to go on stage. A man in long white garments whom I
                          > > had
                          > > > > not seen before came to me and looked at me with deep compassion.
                          > > I
                          > > > > felt a peaceful flow of energy go through me. I went out onto the
                          > > > > stage and started playing. My fingers danced over the strings
                          > > > > effortlessly. The music was breathlessly beautiful and was being
                          > > > > played through me. Delight and more delight I felt. In the dream I
                          > > > > said to myself, "Oh, so this is what 'it' is like" ¡V "it" of
                          > > course
                          > > > > referring to what one would experience if ego were not present in
                          > > > > what one was doing. When I saw Sri Chinmoy for the first time, I
                          > > > > realized that he had been the person in the dream who had appeared
                          > > > > before me.
                          > > > >
                          > > > > Three months after the dream, Sri Chinmoy came to San Francisco
                          > > and
                          > > > > offered a concert and meditation at a beautiful sacred space
                          > > there.
                          > > > > My brother invited me and I had planned to go, but was so tired
                          > > > > after a long day of working that at 7:30 p.m., the start time of
                          > > the
                          > > > > concert, I was dozing on my sofa. Then I felt a flow of energy
                          > > just
                          > > > > as I had felt in the dream a couple of months earlier. For some
                          > > > > reason, I understood that this meant that I had to go to the
                          > > > > concert. Fortunately, I lived only three blocks from the venue. I
                          > > > > literally dragged myself there and sat in the very last row as the
                          > > > > large space was filled to capacity. I very much enjoyed the music
                          > > I
                          > > > > heard, and felt deeply peaceful from the atmosphere there.
                          > > > >
                          > > > > At the end of the concert, an announcement was made inviting
                          > > anyone
                          > > > > who wished to come up and meditate personally with Sri Chinmoy. I
                          > > > > went up with many other members of the audience and stood in a
                          > > large
                          > > > > semi-circle. I felt it would be such a blessing to meditate with
                          > > > > this great spiritual master and I wanted a closer look since I had
                          > > > > been sitting so far back.
                          > > > >
                          > > > > Sri Chinmoy stood facing us with his hands folded. He meditated
                          > > one
                          > > > > by one on each aspirant. As I stood there, tears started
                          > > > > spontaneously flowing. I had a clear feeling that he had known me
                          > > > > "forever" and that I had known him "forever." I felt as though I
                          > > was
                          > > > > standing before "divinity on earth." I deeply and spontaneously
                          > > > > wanted to "fall on my knees," but with utmost restraint prohibited
                          > > > > myself from doing this. By the time Sri Chinmoy was looking
                          > > directly
                          > > > > at me, I could no longer see him clearly ¡V not because of my tears
                          > > > > but because his form appeared as pure light with only a vague
                          > > > > outline of his physical form visible to me. As he was meditating
                          > > on
                          > > > > me, unmistakably I inwardly heard the words, "If you take this
                          > > step,
                          > > > > there is no turning back." At once it became clear to me that if I
                          > > > > were to "step upon the spiritual path," this would be a decision
                          > > > > like no other I had ever made or ever would make. In no way did I
                          > > > > feel capable of such a commitment.
                          > > > >
                          > > > > Because I had arrived late, I was not sitting with my brother.
                          > > After
                          > > > > everything was over, he came up to me and said, "Sri Chinmoy will
                          > > > > meet privately with seekers who wish to become his students. Would
                          > > > > you like to ask to become his student?" I looked at him silently
                          > > for
                          > > > > a moment and then quietly said, "No."
                          > > > >
                          > > > > In a matter of fact way, my brother then asked if I would like to
                          > > > > accompany him to the meeting where students of Sri Chinmoy and
                          > > those
                          > > > > requesting to become his students would meet. I thanked him and
                          > > said
                          > > > > that I would enjoy accompanying him.
                          > > > >
                          > > > > At this meeting, the seekers went up one by one to meditate with
                          > > Sri
                          > > > > Chinmoy. They were told that Sri Chinmoy sees clearly if one is
                          > > > > meant for his path or if a different path would be more suitable
                          > > for
                          > > > > the aspirant. For this reason, he meditates with each person
                          > > > > individually.
                          > > > >
                          > > > > As I sat there watching each person go in front of Sri Chinmoy and
                          > > > > meditate with him, an increasingly strong feeling that I had to go
                          > > > > up and meditate with him and become his student developed inside
                          > > of
                          > > > > me.
                          > > > >
                          > > > > Frankly, it is impossible to describe the inner command I
                          > > > > experienced. Immediately I recognized this feeling as similar to
                          > > the
                          > > > > feeling that compelled me to return home from Europe, and the
                          > > > > feeling that urged me to attend the concert and meditation ¡V only
                          > > > > this time the inner command was far more powerful. It was coming
                          > > > > from the deepest part of myself.
                          > > > >
                          > > > > After everyone who wished to become a student of meditation with
                          > > Sri
                          > > > > Chinmoy had gone up, and that portion of the meeting was seemingly
                          > > > > finished, I somehow found myself standing in front of Sri Chinmoy.
                          > > > > He gave me a beautiful, sweet and at the same time powerful smile.
                          > > > > After some minutes, I returned to my seat not quite believing that
                          > > > > basically, I had just asked to become his student!
                          > > > >
                          > > > > I returned to my apartment knowing that when I received a phone
                          > > call
                          > > > > the next morning telling me if I had been accepted as Sri
                          > > Chinmoy's
                          > > > > student, that would be it. I would have to "take that step."
                          > > > >
                          > > > > I sat up until the wee hours of the morning chanting silently,
                          > > > > "Please do not accept me. Please know that I am not ready. Please
                          > > do
                          > > > > not accept me. Please know that I am not ready." Over and over and
                          > > > > over I silently chanted my mantra: "Please do not accept me Please
                          > > > > know that I am not ready."
                          > > > >
                          > > > > The next morning I received a phone call. "Hello, good morning. I
                          > > > > want to tell you that Sri Chinmoy has accepted you as his
                          > > student."
                          > > > >
                          > > > > I swallowed hard and said, "Oh, um that is great. Thank you."
                          > > > >
                          > > > > By now you have either stopped reading or you are asking with some
                          > > > > exasperation, "If you felt so reluctant, why did you not just say
                          > > > > that you had changed your mind or that you did not want to do this
                          > > > > after all?"
                          > > > >
                          > > > > My reply would be, "When God, an enlightened spiritual master, and
                          > > > > your own soul get together with a plan for your very existence,
                          > > your
                          > > > > little "i" does not stand a chance of asserting itself." Thank
                          > > God!
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