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14421Re: confidence I need you

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  • sharani_sharani
    Aug 3, 2005
      Hi Bernice,

      Did you also notice that our complementary posts (messages 14371 and
      14372) sat side-by-side in the message index and were submitted within
      20 minutes of each other? Quite a coincidence, huh? Your selections
      from Sri Chinmoy's writings on the subject of criticism and my
      recollection of an inner lesson from Sri Chinmoy on the sympathetic
      and affirming power of apology touch on a truly complex and difficult
      area to transform in our lives.

      I also found it uncanny that just the previous evening I had been
      reading about Lord Buddha's experience with the bird and the arrow in
      a book in the Compassion Miracles series written by Sri Chinmoy's
      students. (no it's not in the online library)

      The selections on criticism really provide much to ponder. The concept
      of marring each other's heart's inner moons really made me stop and
      think, but alas I can only guess how quickly I will probably hurl
      criticism arrows in the moment of feeling hurt or insecure.

      Another aspect of this topic which isn't expressed in your excerpts is
      the notion that often times what bothers us in another person is
      really just a projection of our own probably unconscious weakness. I
      cannot remember the name of the book, but some time back I read a
      psychology self-help type book which premised that virtually 100
      percent of the time our criticism of another person stems back
      ultimately to our own emotional and personal history.

      I wonder why we both tuned into this thread with such timing? Maybe
      it's our own way of musing on the question asked here in this forum
      about what exactly world harmony is all about...


      --- In Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration@yahoogroups.com, bernice131313
      <no_reply@y...> wrote:
      > It's hard to maintain confidence in ourselves when we are subject
      > others criticisms. When that somebody is someone we look up to, it
      > is perhaps the most hurtful. This issue has been an ongoing one for
      > me this year, surfacing in different circumstances with a variety
      > participants. I have so much to learn in this area and I'm
      > guilty of dishing out criticism myself.
      > Sri Chinmoy's writings contain abundant material on the topic and I
      > thought I'd copy some of the things that I've found valuable.
      > Criticism takes away
      > The very life-breath
      > Of our peace-heart.
      > http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/peace-god-heart-home/part1/32.html
      > To avoid criticism,
      > I do nothing.
      > To avoid misunderstanding,
      > I say nothing.
      > To avoid competition,
      > I become nothing.
      > http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/sri-chinmoy-win
      > If criticism frightens your heart,
      > Then praise, without fails
      > Will weaken-your life.
      > http://tinyurl.com/87wzy
      > Question: How can I not criticise others and what can I do when
      > others criticise me? Sometimes I get very mad. 154
      > Sri Chinmoy: When somebody criticises you, think of that person as
      > insect or worm and feel that you are the strongest and largest
      > elephant. Since you are larger than the largest, you do not have to
      > pay any attention to a little insect or worm. Vivekananda used to
      > that the elephant is going to the market for bananas and the dogs
      > barking. The elephant does not pay any attention to the dogs; he
      > goes to the market and eats bananas to his heart's content. So when
      > others criticise you, you have to convince yourself that you are
      > infinitely stronger than the criticism that you are getting. 155
      > When you are inspired to criticise someone, immediately feel that
      > what is disturbing you in the other person is some weakness that he
      > has. Feel that the wrong thing that he or she is doing arises out
      > some deplorable weakness. Then try to feel that your criticism of
      > other person is only increasing his weakness and making it worse.
      > Also, you have to feel that your criticism is causing all kinds of
      > ailments inside the other person. Then try to pull these ailments
      > into your own system-into your hands or legs or head. Immediately
      > will say, "My God, it is so painful, so painful!" Then you will see
      > how much suffering you are causing that person. Or imagine that
      > words of criticism are like an arrow that you have hurled at the
      > other person, and now his entire being is bleeding. When you see
      > bleeding, your sympathetic oneness will make you feel miserable. It
      > is the same kind of sympathetic oneness that Lord Buddha felt when
      > picked up the bird that had been wounded with an arrow. 157
      > When you identify yourself with the other person's suffering, you
      > will feel, "No matter how imperfect and useless he is, I have no
      > right to cause this kind of suffering in him. I have come into the
      > world to establish my oneness with others and not to destroy others
      > with my criticism." Then your heart of oneness will make you stop
      > criticising the other person. These ideas I am giving you are very
      > practical. 158
      > Another thing you can do is to feel that your criticism of the
      > person, which you are cherishing in your being, is a very heavy
      > Also, the other person's criticism of you is another heavy load
      > that person has thrust upon you. How can you move or even breathe
      > you are carrying two heavy loads on your shoulders? What you have
      > do is get rid of both loads. You have to cast them aside so that
      > can run the fastest towards your destination. 159
      > Here is still another way. Each time you criticise someone, feel
      > you have created a black spot on the moon of his heart. By
      > diminishing the beauty of his heart's inner moon, you can never get
      > real joy. Also, you have to feel that if you criticise him, he also
      > will criticise you and ruin the beauty of your inner moon. By
      > destroying one another's inner beauty, neither one of you can be
      > happy. So you have to feel that your happiness can come only with
      > other person's happiness; it has to be simultaneous. If you do not
      > darken his moon, he will not darken yours, and both of you will be
      > happy.
      > http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/sri-chinmoy-answers/part7/56.html
      > Never compromise,
      > Never compromise,
      > Even if you are under severe criticism.
      > http://tinyurl.com/9qyjb
      > To conclude, I really like this extract from Sri Chinmoy's
      > book "Music - Ecstasy's Heart Hunger" about Wolfgang Amadeus
      > If you can remain unaffected, either when you are thrown into the
      > abysmal abyss or when you are extolled to the skies, then you can
      > achieve and offer something divinely great and supremely good. When
      > the composer closes his eyes and ears to the world while composing,
      > his inner eyes and inner ears see Heaven's beauty and hear Heaven's
      > messages. Then he is unquestionably entitled to be in the galaxy of
      > the Immortals.
      > As Mozart writes to his father, "I pay no attention whatever to
      > anybody's praise or blame....I simply follow my own feelings."
      > http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/music-ecstasy-heart-hunger/12.html
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