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We need some WISDOM!

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  • mommaceen
    My 8 yo son is making a lot of noise about going to public school. We have homeschooled him from k-2 and were starting this year as a 3rd grader. He is
    Message 1 of 4 , Sep 3, 2008
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      My 8 yo son is making a lot of noise about going to public school.
      We have homeschooled him from k-2 and were starting this year as a
      3rd grader.

      He is diagnosed ADHD and we are going through the school district for
      further tests to see if he fits in the autistic/asperger's areas. He
      has a lot of potential mental health issues as well, so we are
      determined to get as much help as we can, before he reaches a more
      uncontrollable stage (teens, specifically).

      I am so tired and frustrated. I was looking forward to getting
      started on our homeschool year, believing that he would eventually
      calm down and be more invovled with homeschoolers. (His desire is to
      be with kids everyday-he is an only child with the exception of our
      17 yo foster daughter)

      I explained to him that we would be more involved with other kids who
      were also homeschooled this year, but he continues to insist that
      public school is the place for him.

      We appreciate your prayers and insight!

      Colleen
    • Laura Powell
      I went through this same thing with my son who is now 13 when he was going to be heading into 3rd grade. He was undiagnosed at the time, but I had talked with
      Message 2 of 4 , Sep 3, 2008
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        I went through this same thing with my son who is now 13 when he was going to be heading into 3rd grade. He was undiagnosed at the time, but I had talked with the principal and made sure she understood our situation and his needs before even considering sending him there. She assured me he would be fine, but would not allow any special needs classes for him until it was obvious to them that he could not cope at all in a regular class room. At my son's insistence I went ahead and registered him and sent him, happily on his way to public school (he had been in K and for a few month repeating K before I home schooled him, but had home schooled his older siblings from the start). It was less than a week before I could see this was not going well for him and less than a month before he was so far gone (he is PDD with many emotional, learning and sensory issues that we had no idea he had to that extent until pushed way passed his limits) that he was running away from school because the teacher refused to allow him to see the school therapist who had told him he could come and see her any time he needed to or was not doing well. He was belittled and made fun of by the teacher in front of the class and I must say there "best" teacher was not someone I would have even wanted my very strong and stable children with. By the end of it all (less than 2 full months) he really should have been in the hospital, but at least we were able to get him diagnosed (not through the school, they refused until after he was no longer there) and get him somewhat adequate help. It took him a couple of years to recover. The principal asked me to reconsider homeschooling him (as apposed to getting him into a one on one class or three on one class or any other type of help he might need) and she would be more than willing to help me get started homeschooling him again. Bottom line, they did not want him there after making his condition so much worse that honestly I should have filed a lawsuit!
         
        Now all that said, just because this particular teacher and principal caused far more harm (some of it lasting) than good, that does not mean that all school situations would have that kind of result for your child. The public school he started out in for K was excellent although it was in CA not here in OR and while the teacher and principal there did what ever they could to keep him out of special ed, it was with a kind heart and good intentions because while he is special needs he is also very intelligent and they did not want to see him lost in special ed and not be given the resources to build upon his intelligence in a way that would also support and assist with is disabilities (they said they just didn't have the right kind of set up for a learning and emotionally disabled child who was also at the same time a very gifted child). They were very sad to see him leave, but understood that they were just not equipped to offer him a viable education. But at least there he knew he was loved by his teacher and the principal.
         
        He wants to try again with public school but after the fiasco with the school here and then finding out that same school was recommended for him because of his disabilities and explaining to those what happened when he was there, I think I am just going to continue to home-school him, offer him lots of outside activities and classes and he can go on his own terms to college if he so chooses when and if he is ready at the end of high school.
         
        There are many things we have done to help in the area of keeping him connected with other kids, but he still feels like he has no friends. I think in part it's because he knows he's different than most other kids and only sees that instead of how many friends he does have not only in his own age group but from as young as 7 years old up to 82 years old.
         
        Feel free to e-mail me privately if you would like me to go into further detail. Again, every teacher, principal and school is different just as every child is different. This is just the experience we had here. Oh by the way, that principal is no longer there, she works with much older kids now.
         
        Laura P.

        --- On Wed, 9/3/08, mommaceen <ceenie@...> wrote:
        From: mommaceen <ceenie@...>
        Subject: [Special_HS_OR] We need some WISDOM!
        To: Special_HS_OR@yahoogroups.com
        Date: Wednesday, September 3, 2008, 12:24 PM

        My 8 yo son is making a lot of noise about going to public school.
        We have homeschooled him from k-2 and were starting this year as a
        3rd grader.

        He is diagnosed ADHD and we are going through the school district for
        further tests to see if he fits in the autistic/asperger' s areas. He
        has a lot of potential mental health issues as well, so we are
        determined to get as much help as we can, before he reaches a more
        uncontrollable stage (teens, specifically) .

        I am so tired and frustrated. I was looking forward to getting
        started on our homeschool year, believing that he would eventually
        calm down and be more invovled with homeschoolers. (His desire is to
        be with kids everyday-he is an only child with the exception of our
        17 yo foster daughter)

        I explained to him that we would be more involved with other kids who
        were also homeschooled this year, but he continues to insist that
        public school is the place for him.

        We appreciate your prayers and insight!

        Colleen


      • Carol Blackman
        That s a tough time for only children, my son wanted so badly to ride the big yellow bus and play with the other kids. Relatives let me know that we were
        Message 3 of 4 , Sep 3, 2008
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          That's a tough time for only children, my son wanted so badly to ride the
          big yellow bus and play with the other kids. Relatives let me know that we
          were harming him by homeschooling him, he NEEDED to social interaction
          because he was an only child, they said.

          Pray before the day begins, ask the Lord to help you focus on peace in the
          home that day. I won't guarantee that will change things, but if there is
          peace in other areas, it will reduce the stress in this area.

          HOPEFULLY you can connect with other families doing some classes together,
          however, we were NEVER invited to join any when my son was that age. He was
          hyper, high functioning autistic. Is there an Awana group in your
          community? That was my son's social activity and it helped a lot. I can't
          say we were really welcomed there, but I helped out as much as possible so
          they let us continue, year after year.

          May the Lord give you wisdom to know how best to handle the situation, I
          pray.

          Been there, survived, but know it's a challenge,
          Carol
          ----- Original Message -----
          From: "mommaceen" <ceenie@...>
          To: <Special_HS_OR@yahoogroups.com>
          Sent: Wednesday, September 03, 2008 12:24 PM
          Subject: [Special_HS_OR] We need some WISDOM!


          > My 8 yo son is making a lot of noise about going to public school.
          > We have homeschooled him from k-2 and were starting this year as a
          > 3rd grader.
          >
          > He is diagnosed ADHD and we are going through the school district for
          > further tests to see if he fits in the autistic/asperger's areas. He
          > has a lot of potential mental health issues as well, so we are
          > determined to get as much help as we can, before he reaches a more
          > uncontrollable stage (teens, specifically).
          >
          > I am so tired and frustrated. I was looking forward to getting
          > started on our homeschool year, believing that he would eventually
          > calm down and be more invovled with homeschoolers. (His desire is to
          > be with kids everyday-he is an only child with the exception of our
          > 17 yo foster daughter)
          >
          > I explained to him that we would be more involved with other kids who
          > were also homeschooled this year, but he continues to insist that
          > public school is the place for him.
          >
          > We appreciate your prayers and insight!
          >
          > Colleen
          >
          >
          > ------------------------------------
          >
          > Yahoo! Groups Links
          >
          >
          >
        • COLLEEN BEARD
          Connie, Laura and Carol, You all are so AWESOME!!! Thank you so much for your responses. We are in prayer on this and will definitely be letting you know how
          Message 4 of 4 , Sep 4, 2008
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            Connie, Laura and Carol,
             
            You all are so AWESOME!!! Thank you so much for your responses.  We are in prayer on this and will definitely be letting you know how things turn out. 
            We have already been blessed by not having to wait for CDRC's  4-5 months waiting list that we were told about, and have an appointment in December!  What a gift.  It will be a blessing to have direction for dealing with and getting help for our sons struggles.
             
            We are starting our homeschool off slowly, reviewing and looking for the areas we need more focus on.  Today has been a wonderful day (not one complaint about him not being in public school) and towards the end of our "testing" he lifted up his head, looked me at me (not a normal occurance) and said, "I don't want to go to public school.  I like homeschool."  Go figure.
             
            Our prayers will continue for direction and for us all to be in agreement (mom and dad mostly Smiley emoticon) regarding his schooling.
             
            Thank you so much for sharing each of your experiences.
             
            We are so blessed by each of you,
            Colleen
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