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Did Kierkegaard influence my relationship?

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  • Melissa Lane
    A couple of years ago I was in an intense yet casual relationship. He was the most wonderful person I d ever met, very respectful and loving. He always was
    Message 1 of 5 , Jul 30, 2005
      A couple of years ago I was in an intense yet casual relationship.
      He was the most wonderful person I'd ever met, very respectful and
      loving. He always was looking out for me and anticipating my needs.
      Then one day he told me we wouldn't be spending so much time together
      anymore. He said a lot of seemingly unconnected things like he
      didn't want me getting to fond of him and that he still had difficult
      issues from the past to resolve and he wasn't through traveling and
      defining who he was - all good stuff. At the end of the conversation
      he read me a story to calm me before I returned home to sleep.

      When I read his obituary a year later, it said he was reading
      Kierkegaard. Now that I am studying Kierkegaard at school I am
      finding all kinds of parallels to his life. For example, he detested
      TV and refused to watch it and he was concerned that so many people
      were going through life playing a role and had no real substance. We
      had a lot of discussions about similar topics and now it seems to be
      coming together that he was following Kierkegaard's philosophy. Now
      I'm wondering if he ended our excellent relationship in order to reap
      the benifits of the subsequent suffering. He never allowed true
      commitment between us and I am aware that he suffered greatly.

      What do you think?
    • <none>
      I think if he did, he was just as self absorbed and full of it as Kierkegaard was in his own decision with Regine Olson. Jim Rovira
      Message 2 of 5 , Jul 30, 2005
        I think if he did, he was just as self absorbed and full of it as
        Kierkegaard was in his own decision with Regine Olson.

        Jim Rovira

        --- Melissa Lane <melissalane@...> wrote:
        >
        > What do you think?
      • Bob M.
        Hi Melissa, I am curious as to how your friend died and how old he was at that time. Bob M. ... together ... difficult ... reap
        Message 3 of 5 , Jul 30, 2005
          Hi Melissa,

          I am curious as to how your friend died and how old he was at that
          time.

          Bob M.
          _______________________________________

          --- In theexistentialsociety@yahoogroups.com, "Melissa Lane"
          <melissalane@c...> wrote:
          > A couple of years ago I was in an intense yet casual relationship.
          > He was the most wonderful person I'd ever met, very respectful and
          > loving. He always was looking out for me and anticipating my needs.
          > Then one day he told me we wouldn't be spending so much time
          together
          > anymore. He said a lot of seemingly unconnected things like he
          > didn't want me getting to fond of him and that he still had
          difficult
          > issues from the past to resolve and he wasn't through traveling and
          > defining who he was - all good stuff. At the end of the conversation
          > he read me a story to calm me before I returned home to sleep.
          >
          > When I read his obituary a year later, it said he was reading
          > Kierkegaard. Now that I am studying Kierkegaard at school I am
          > finding all kinds of parallels to his life. For example, he detested
          > TV and refused to watch it and he was concerned that so many people
          > were going through life playing a role and had no real substance. We
          > had a lot of discussions about similar topics and now it seems to be
          > coming together that he was following Kierkegaard's philosophy. Now
          > I'm wondering if he ended our excellent relationship in order to
          reap
          > the benifits of the subsequent suffering. He never allowed true
          > commitment between us and I am aware that he suffered greatly.
          >
          > What do you think?
        • Will Brown
          James, if I can enquire, what do you mean here? What connotations do you give to self-absorbed and full of it ? It may help to explain our absolute
          Message 4 of 5 , Aug 1, 2005
            James, if I can enquire, what do you mean here? What connotations do
            you give to 'self-absorbed' and 'full of it'? It may help to explain
            our absolute disconnect in things Kierkegaardian.

            --- In theexistentialsociety@yahoogroups.com, "<none>"
            <jamesrovira@y...> wrote:
            > I think if he did, he was just as self absorbed and full of it as
            > Kierkegaard was in his own decision with Regine Olson.
            >
            > Jim Rovira
            >
            > --- Melissa Lane <melissalane@c...> wrote:
            > >
            > > What do you think?
          • <none>
            We don t have an absolute disconnect that I can see, Will. We interpret one passage differently, but both believe the leap brings about an absolute change. I
            Message 5 of 5 , Aug 1, 2005
              We don't have an absolute disconnect that I can see, Will. We
              interpret one passage differently, but both believe the leap brings
              about an absolute change. I simply qualify that statement a bit (all
              this is in reference to a discussion we're having on the Kierkegaard
              list). But to the point, I don't think Kierkegaard had good reason to
              dump Regine, perhaps even wasn't sure of his reasons himself at the
              time, although there were some comments about her forwardness. I think
              that event was an exercise in bad faith on his part. I could work it
              out to the point where I saw -why- he may have felt the need to do so:
              he needed to devote himself to writing, he didn't want the
              distractions, he was married to philosophy, etc. But all this ignores
              why he proposed to her to begin with. He never quit loving her that I
              can see: he was faithful to her, emotionally, all his life, even trying
              to leave his estate to her. He was just a dummy on this point, I
              think.

              Jim Rovira

              --- Will Brown <wilbro99@...> wrote:

              > James, if I can enquire, what do you mean here? What connotations do
              > you give to 'self-absorbed' and 'full of it'? It may help to explain
              > our absolute disconnect in things Kierkegaardian.
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