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Crux of my Journey

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  • new_trail_blazer
    Many, many years of emotional pain and torment, feelings of insanity or a terrible unwholesomeness resulting from feeling so completely different from all
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 1 1:17 AM
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      Many, many years of emotional pain and torment,
      feelings of insanity or a terrible unwholesomeness
      resulting from feeling so completely different from all
      those around me, along with not living up to my
      inherent potential, staying for a long time in a very
      average and 'normal' marriage which was not meant to
      be(i.e. capacity to love absent in the other[to this very
      day]), chasing the almighty dollar, getting sloppy with
      the essentially decent moral and sound upbringing I
      was fortunate to have had, all eventually to the
      point that life became absolutely meaningless and no
      longer worth living, whereby a rebirth occurred rather
      than death, which I came to believe in all
      absoluteness was the only freedom. And quite simply, by the
      grace of God, through surrender resulting from clear
      awareness from the core of my being, that I was a failure
      as a human being in so many, many ways, I've been
      granted a brand new life which remains vibrant and alive
      so long as I continue on the journey, as
      Krishnamurti would have it, of unending self-discovery, which
      I prefer calling self-re-creation, since I find
      that men everywhere know not their true nature or
      potential. In short and in retrospect, I can now see clearly
      that often in my youth I experienced a oneness with
      life and God along with much enthusiasm, sense of
      goodness, and curiousity, along with a capacity for deep
      seeing, yet as life went on I chose to abandon it all and
      surrendered to, thankfully though not completely, and
      followed the ways of the world and its spirit destroying
      mediocrity. And be it known that the joy and happiness of
      one's youth can be recaptured in its fullness, even if
      the memory thereof is not presently clear and
      certain. Surrender, begin life anew, right your wrongs,
      and experience this for yourself-NOW!<br><br>Have a
      good day, and remember that CHANGE is the name of the
      game.
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