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  • Fred G Kovalyak
    You Live in Arizona when.. 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. 2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 31, 2004
      You Live in Arizona when..

      1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because
      you found shade.

      2. You can open and drive your car without
      touching the car door or the steering wheel.

      3. You've experienced condensation on your butt
      from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

      4. You would give anything to be able to splash
      cold water on your face.
      5. You can attend any function wearing shorts
      and a tank top.

      6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at High Schools
      and Universities.

      7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction
      and never leave town.

      8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.

      9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really
      hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

      10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to
      what hits you in the face when you open your oven

      You Live in California when..

      1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't
      afford to buy a house.

      2 The high school quarterback calls a time-out to
      answer his cell phone.

      3. The fastest part of your commute is going
      down your driveway.

      4. You know how to eat an artichoke.

      5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your
      neighborhood block party.

      6. When someone asks you how far something is,
      you tell them how long it will take to get there
      rather than how many miles away it is.

      You Live in New York City when...

      1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to
      know you mean Manhattan.

      2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty
      or the Empire State Building.

      3. You can get into a four-hour argument about
      how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but
      can't find Wisconsin on a map.

      4. You think Central Park is "nature,"

      5. You believe that being able to swear at
      people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

      6. You've worn out a car horn.

      7. You think eye contact is an act of

      You Live in MINNESOTA when...

      1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper,
      ketchup, and Tabasco.

      2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.

      3. You have more than one recipe for moose.

      4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less
      than eight buttons.

      5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter,
      almost winter, and construction.

      You Live in the Deep South when...

      1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same

      2."Y'all" is singular and "all Y'all" is plural.

      3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't
      from 'round here, are Ya?"

      4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.

      5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy
      Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.

      You live in Colorado when...

      1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your
      $500 car.

      2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on
      his way home and he stops at the day care center.

      3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.

      4. The top of your head is bald, but you still
      have a pony tail.

      You live in the Midwest when...

      1. You've never met any celebrities, but the
      mayor knows your name.

      2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars
      waiting to pass a tractor.

      3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C"
      on the same day.

      4. You end sentences with a prepooosition,
      "Where's my coat at?"

      5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic
      place, you say, "It as different!"

      You live in Florida when....
      1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

      2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind --
      even houses and ars.

      3. Everyone can recommend an excellent

      4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the

      5. Cars in front of you are often driven by
      headless people.

      6. English is a foreign language.

      7. Local newspapers come in 2 editions, english
      and spanish.

      8. Newly arrived immigrants are wealthier than the

      9. Many immigrants are on the most wanted list in
      their own countries.

      10. One out of every two females has had a breast

      Rcvd this from the Voice of the Turtle

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