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A few more prayers for your father . . .

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  • BJLK@aol.com
    Hi, Jim! I was glad to hear from you. My first impression was that CHF was going to be the diagnosis for your father. The mother of a close friend of mine
    Message 1 of 1 , Sep 6, 2003
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      Hi, Jim!

      I was glad to hear from you. My first impression was that CHF was going to
      be the diagnosis for your father.

      The mother of a close friend of mine (who is in the same age range as your
      father) had similar symptoms a few years ago, which she kept a secret from her
      family. Just by chance, she was taken to the ER because of a serious infection
      and a sharp young intern noticed that she mentioned being short of breath and
      light-headed lately. Her son (who lives with her and sees her every day) was
      really upset to find out that this had been going on for quite a few weeks,
      and possibly even months. Her explanation was the she "didn't want to bother
      him." . . . Talk about guilt trips! This revelation prompted a quick
      prescription for antibiotics and then a very different kind of examination. She was
      admitted and immediately scheduled for delivery of a pacemaker.

      The bright side of this story is that she is doing very well; I take her for
      her pacemaker checks and visits to her cardiologist whenever she needs
      transportation. On the other hand, she complains to this day about the inconvenience
      of having a pacemaker, and claims that, if she had kept her mouth shut, she
      wouldn't have to put up with all of the inconvenience of regular office visits.
      This is probably the only time in her life that she has had regular medical

      I know how hard it is to be at a distance at this critical time. You
      probably have lots of questions that you would like to ask your father's doctor. If
      I were in your place, I don't think I would hesitate for a second before
      calling the doctor directly. I know from personal experience that information
      delivered by another family member can be incomplete. When my own father died
      very suddenly of a massive heart attack, I received the news on the phone while I
      was at work. Up to this time, no one from the family who was closer
      geographically to him had ever mentioned that he might be at risk. I'll never know
      whether they didn't think it was important to let me know, or were never told by
      his doctor. My stepmother did not really understand much of what was told to
      her, and consistently misinterpreted almost all of the information that was
      given to her. On the other hand, she seriously resented me having any direct
      communications with my father's doctors. This experience has left lingering
      regrets that will not go away.

      I will pray for you and your family that all of you still have some time left
      to be together with your father. I hope you have a chance to visit him soon
      to let him know in person that you care for all he has been for you.

      Be sure to stay in touch.

      S Bohom!

      B. J.


      B. J. Licko-Keel (BJLK@...)

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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