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Re: [Slovak-World] Why two get married

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  • Scott T. Mikusko
    Speaking as a 32 yr old dog, er I mean, man, with hot blood in my veins, to Vlad I say, Not a truer word spoken. :) -S
    Message 1 of 5 , Jul 2, 2003
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      Speaking as a 32 yr old dog, er I mean, man, with hot blood in my veins,
      to Vlad I say, "Not a truer word spoken." :)

      -S


      On Wed, 2 Jul 2003, Vladimir Bohinc wrote:

      > The following is my own humble opinion.I will try to analyze average persons.
      >
      > Marriage is a Joint venture business.
      > In a Joint venture, both partners should have identical or complementary objectives.
      > When they get married, they usually are already out of totally being in love with each other. This is a natural chemical process, that lasts about three months or less.It is the narure's tool to promote reproduction.
      > Most fatal promises are being made, while blindly in love, which equals to being under drugs.
      > In general, female and male motives, why to get married are different.
      > A woman needs a provider, a man needs "free sex".
      > I think, the sexual drive with men is much stronger than with women, and this is making men doing all kinds of crazy things.
      > A woman is more interested in sex as a tool to achieve other goals.
      > One of the biggest lies:" I love you", I read.
      > If we look into the soul of the single man a little deeper, we see, that sex is one of his main preocupations. How to get it, where to get it. It is very tiresome and often frustrating. Having a wife according to your expectations, that will allow you to have sex any time you wish is one of the main goals.Fulfilling all your desires is something one can not turn down.
      > It is the ultimate goal. ( in the mind of a single) ( For how long, we do not say)
      > This, of course, is perfectly clear to the girl. She knows, that with this weapon, she can do with you what she wants.
      > The man is blind and helpless, although feeling terribly strong, but, remember drugs.
      > I do not think, a woman is capable of being in love so strong as a man. She can control herself much better.
      > Therefore we do not know male fake orgasm.
      > I also do not think, that the man is actually selecting, who will be his wife. It is the opposite.
      > No woman will marry a man, if she does not want to. She will eventually decide, whom she will take.It must be the "right Man" for her plans, of which he is not aware.
      > When married, he bears the resposibility and she can demand. If children are born, she is protected by all laws.
      > After a while, the home sex is not so interesting any more and the man has a crisis. If he does not have any higher goals with the family and his wife in particular, he might run out of motivation to live with her any longer.
      > If there was no mutual respect and real love, developed during living together, they usually part.
      > How to judge the person in advance, whether is he or she for the life time? The answer can be found only on spiritual level.
      > However, very few young people are capable of understanding this and even less are capable of entering any kind of spiritual experience. Life of today is Fun, Things, Money, Fast, Me, Power etc.
      > Women are very wise and good in managing men.They are much more cool blooded when it comes to reckoning.
      > Also their intuition plays a major role. More than formal education. However, women are more oriented towards themselves and their children, than to the outer world.They will not start a revolution, they will not start a war, they will not go and invent mechanical or electronic gadgets. They are practical. Men are often day dreamers and get caught with "Ideas".
      > ( I wonder, if anybody knows, what was the role of Spencer Tracy in his marriage with Cathy. I guess, she was a very strong woman. And, Spencer was not Henry Fonda ( Golden Lake))
      > Back to Slovakia;
      > It was and to some extent still is, a national sport for the beautiful girls of Czechoslovakia, to find themselves a foreigner, that had to have three things:
      > - a Mercedes
      > - a large house
      > - a cancer
      > Thousands of such marriages have been made. Most of them fell apart, when the girl obtained what she wanted.
      > Austrian and german men are so naive in this respect.
      > In order to have a wife, that never quarrels and does everything, ( after a divorce) , especially german men are fetching their new wives from Philippines or Russia or Poland. Those girls would also do just everything to get a foreign citizenship. And they do. Sex is again a very important factor on the man's side. For the woman it is just a torture.
      > Not much different, modern marriages is Slovakia are based.
      > Woman picks a suitable man for the mission, get him marry her, get him make a child or two, makes sure, that they own a flat or a house, gets a divorce and stays in that flat, because she has children and the man is on the street.
      > Do not pick me on this. I am talking about anomalies, not about every marriage.
      > It is true, that the divorce rate is very high here, and natality too low.
      > The communist system formed three types of women, all having equal rights with men;( not equal duties)
      > - a proletarian one, working in a factory
      > - an academic one, with high education
      > - an administrator/ bureaucrat, that had all the strings in their hand
      > The latter had the most power in open society. The second was esteemed among colleagues, but did not earn more than the first one, who learned the language of the lumpenproletariat and so were the children brought up.
      > The third type prospered better becuase of corruption/bribery income.
      > The communist system clearly showed to everyone, that an individual is nothing. Only collective is that counts.
      > When the women saw, that in their capacity as administrators/bureaucrats, they can do with men what they please, this was then translated also to the relations at home. The men showed, how vulnerable and defenceless they were.
      > Many escaped to alcohol.( I still see them in bunches, at 5 in the morning, at the railways station, taking their first shots of
      > "Tvrde", hard alcohol, rinsed with beer.)
      > Families, where both parents had higher education, prospered better and usually did not experience such problems.
      > New era now is offering women even more emancipation, better jobs, they can have their own firms and are striving to higher, managerial carreers. The number of new cars, being driven by women is sharply increasing.
      > Family, children; this has kind of fallen back regarding priority. Making money and getting more power is the motto. Being independent and successful. The natality of Roma is much higher than the slovak one.One is alredy very much concerned about this.
      >
      > It is midnight now and if you'll allow me, I'll go to bed.
      > Vladimir
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      >
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    • Nick Holcz
      ... Marriages in which the relationship doesn t change as time goes by are bound to fail. Couples do marry blindly in love but this blindness wears off and the
      Message 2 of 5 , Jul 2, 2003
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        Vladimir,At 11:54 PM 2/07/2003 +0200, you wrote:
        >The following is my own humble opinion.I will try to analyze average persons.
        >
        >Marriage is a Joint venture business.
        >In a Joint venture, both partners should have identical or complementary
        >objectives.
        >When they get married, they usually are already out of totally being in
        >love with each other. This is a natural chemical process, that lasts about
        >three months or less.It is the narure's tool to promote reproduction.

        Marriages in which the relationship doesn't change as time goes by are
        bound to fail. Couples do marry blindly in love but this blindness wears
        off and the real "joint venture" as Vladimir put it must now commence. I
        have been married for 39yrs to an extremely patient and loving women and in
        my case can recommend marriage. I also have seen where one partner wants
        to dominate the other and it just makes for an unhappy alliance.

        Regards
        Nick



        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      • Jan Lan
        ... Good point except the initial attraction would be what I would call infatuation. ... If you call supporting or helping support a wife and children free
        Message 3 of 5 , Jul 2, 2003
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          At 11:54 PM 7/2/2003 +0200, you wrote:
          >The following is my own humble opinion.I will try to analyze average persons.
          >
          >Marriage is a Joint venture business.
          >In a Joint venture, both partners should have identical or complementary
          >objectives.
          >When they get married, they usually are already out of totally being in
          >love with each other. This is a natural chemical process, that lasts about
          >three months or less.It is the narure's tool to promote reproduction. Most
          >fatal promises are being made, while blindly in love, which equals to
          >being under drugs.

          Good point except the initial attraction would be what I would call
          infatuation.

          >In general, female and male motives, why to get married are different. A
          >woman needs a provider, a man needs "free sex".

          If you call supporting or helping support a wife and children "free" sex,
          I'll differ with you. Perhaps frequent and consistent would be more
          appropriate. ;-)

          >I think, the sexual drive with men is much stronger than with women, and
          >this is making men doing all kinds of crazy things. A woman is more
          >interested in sex as a tool to achieve other goals. One of the biggest
          >lies:" I love you", I read. If we look into the soul of the single man a
          >little deeper, we see, that sex is one of his main preocupations. How to
          >get it, where to get it. It is very tiresome and often frustrating. Having
          >a wife according to your expectations, that will allow you to have sex any
          >time you wish is one of the main goals. Fulfilling all your desires is
          >something one can not turn down. It is the ultimate goal. ( in the mind
          >of a single) ( For how long, we do not say). This, of course, is perfectly
          >clear to the girl.

          Perhaps not to all, i.e.:

          HER DIARY

          Saturday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at
          a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I
          thought he was upset at the fact that I was late, but he made no comment.
          Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we
          could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was
          wrong. He said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.
          He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home, I
          told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't
          explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say I love you too.

          When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to
          do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV. He seemed so distant
          and absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came
          to bed and, to my surprise, he responded to my caress and we made love, but
          I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. I
          decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with
          the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I
          too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts
          are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

          HIS DIARY

          Today the Giants lost. At least I got laid.

          >When the women saw, that in their capacity as administrators/bureaucrats,
          >they can do with men what they please, this was then translated also to
          >the relations at home. The men showed, how vulnerable and defenceless they
          >were.
          >Many escaped to alcohol.( I still see them in bunches, at 5 in the
          >morning, at the railways station, taking their first shots of "Tvrde",
          >hard alcohol, rinsed with beer.)

          Not much different in a capitalist society Vlad as far as woman are
          concerned. The ability to compete and earn a good income creates a sense
          of independence. I don't believe that is an excuse for alcoholism on the
          part of the men. That's sort of a soap opera mentality. They always blame
          their problems on someone else. In other words they promote a victim
          mentality. I believe people become alcoholics because they drink too much
          alcohol. Drinking is part of the Slavs and Western culture and not
          something first encountered in the communist society. Drinking still is,
          a socially acceptable and, to some, macho form of entertainment. This
          would be the environmental component. I also believe some have a
          predisposition to addictive behavior because of heredity. Combine the two
          and you have a good chance of producing an alcoholic.

          >It is midnight now and if you'll allow me, I'll go to bed.
          >Vladimir

          Some good points Vlad. Just a personal observation. Once the initial
          marital power struggle is over and the benefits of compromise become
          evident the comfortable part of marriage begins. I'll let you know when
          that happens. Our 52nd anniversary is coming up this fall. ;-)

          Janko
        • Marty
          Just celebrated 35 years married. Forgive Forgive Forgive. Thats our secret ... Marriages in which the relationship doesn t change as time goes by are bound
          Message 4 of 5 , Jul 2, 2003
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            Just celebrated 35 years married. Forgive Forgive Forgive. Thats our secret

            Nick Holcz <nickh@...> wrote:Vladimir,At 11:54 PM 2/07/2003 +0200, you wrote:
            >The following is my own humble opinion.I will try to analyze average persons.
            >
            >Marriage is a Joint venture business.
            >In a Joint venture, both partners should have identical or complementary
            >objectives.
            >When they get married, they usually are already out of totally being in
            >love with each other. This is a natural chemical process, that lasts about
            >three months or less.It is the narure's tool to promote reproduction.

            Marriages in which the relationship doesn't change as time goes by are
            bound to fail. Couples do marry blindly in love but this blindness wears
            off and the real "joint venture" as Vladimir put it must now commence. I
            have been married for 39yrs to an extremely patient and loving women and in
            my case can recommend marriage. I also have seen where one partner wants
            to dominate the other and it just makes for an unhappy alliance.

            Regards
            Nick



            [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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