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Visiting your relatives and some other thoughts

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  • Vladimir Bohinc
    Dear SW, Serbs have a proverb ; Svakog gosta za tri dana dosta. Translated it means Every guest is welcome for three days . What is the truth behind this
    Message 1 of 4 , Jul 2 1:23 AM
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      Dear SW,

      Serbs have a proverb ;" Svakog gosta za tri dana dosta."
      Translated it means "Every guest is welcome for three days".
      What is the truth behind this old saying?
      There are two types of visits; short and long.
      Characteristics of a short visit;
      - everybody is enthusiastic
      - everybody has a hang over
      - the food, that was prepared, may last that long
      - some people may not be sleeping in their own beds
      - it is about as much one can afford not going to regular work, in order to take care of the visitor
      - it is about as much one can afford to finance without being sure, that this was a good investment
      - it is about as long as one can stay in original underwear

      A longer visit
      - enthusiasm is gone and normal life steps in
      - one can not afford any more hang overs
      - a plan has to be made " What shall we do with them?"
      - guests begin to inspect the house and discover things, that were hidden from them
      - Guests want to wash their clothing. Who will do that? If the guests do that, they may see the dirty underwear of the family, waiting there to be washed. If the hosts are to do that they will see theirs. ( I experienced an open offer of the host to wash the underwear of the guests!)
      - Hosts begin to wonder, what is in the suitcases of the guests. ( I experienced this too. While the american lady was out for a church visit, her luggage was inspected by the housewife. Interesingly, she wanted me to be a witness, that she did not take anything)
      - one has to go back to normal work and there is nobody to take care of the guest entertainment program
      - one thinks about whether to go to the police and report a guest or not. Neighbors are watching this very closely.
      - if the guests are taking their own tours and come only to sleep, the host gets a feeling of being used as a cheap hotel.
      - usually, there is a question about the mobility of the guests. Should we give them our car or should one of us drive them around to places they want to see and other people they want to meet. Maybe the host is not on a good foot with some of those people or would not like to share "his American" with others.
      - some people work and eat at the workplace. Who will cook for the visitors and what.

      So, these are some considerations, that show, that some thought has to be spent on these issues. A transition from a short visit to a longer one is crucial. Some don't master it and then we have complaints afterwards.
      Being in a hotel and visiting relatives is a very safe option, but does not really promote creation of tighter family ties.
      Finding the right blend is the art. This will be specific to any hosting family, so no advices can be given here.
      With best regards,
      Vladimir



      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • Michelle A Mader
      ... In the US it is put as, What do houseguests and dead fish have in common? After 3 days they both stink. Michelle Maco Mader Cleveland, Ohio USA I have
      Message 2 of 4 , Jul 2 6:08 AM
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        Vlad wrote:
        >Dear SW,
        >
        >Serbs have a proverb ;" Svakog gosta za tri dana dosta."
        >Translated it means "Every guest is welcome for three days".

        In the US it is put as, "What do houseguests and dead fish
        have in common? After 3 days they both stink."


        Michelle Maco Mader
        Cleveland, Ohio USA
        "I have never let my schooling interfere
        with my education." - Mark Twain
      • capt jack
        Vladimir, My family has an old saying, guests and fish begin to smell after three days . There is some truth in that, although, much depends on the guest, Im
        Message 3 of 4 , Jul 2 8:31 AM
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          Vladimir,

          My family has an old saying, "guests and fish begin to smell after three days". There is some truth in that, although, much depends on the guest, Im sure. On my coming visit to Slovakia this month, I will be spending a week with one cousin and her family, and the second week with another. They have told me that they wished I could stay longer, for there is so much to see and do while I am there. I will do my best not to wear out my welcome. You do bring up some interesting points though, such as laundry, I would not care to have my hosts wash my dirty clothes, I would prefer to do that myself. When their daughter stayed with us for 3 months, it was not a problem, we just had here put her laundry in the clothes chute with ours, and she helped fold when they were done.

          Jim


          ---------------------------------
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          SBC Yahoo! DSL - Now only $29.95 per month!

          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        • Gergely
          Vladimir There is a lot of wisdom in what you have written below. As both frequent guests and hosts, it makes a lot of sense. Jack and Chris Gergely ... From:
          Message 4 of 4 , Jul 2 8:42 AM
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            Vladimir

            There is a lot of wisdom in what you have written below. As both frequent
            guests and hosts, it makes a lot of sense.

            Jack and Chris Gergely


            ----- Original Message -----
            From: "Vladimir Bohinc" <konekta@...>
            To: "Slovak World" <Slovak-World@yahoogroups.com>
            Sent: Wednesday, July 02, 2003 4:23 AM
            Subject: [Slovak-World] Visiting your relatives and some other thoughts


            > Dear SW,
            >
            > Serbs have a proverb ;" Svakog gosta za tri dana dosta."
            > Translated it means "Every guest is welcome for three days".
            > What is the truth behind this old saying?
            > There are two types of visits; short and long.
            > Characteristics of a short visit;
            > - everybody is enthusiastic
            > - everybody has a hang over
            > - the food, that was prepared, may last that long
            > - some people may not be sleeping in their own beds
            > - it is about as much one can afford not going to regular work, in order
            to take care of the visitor
            > - it is about as much one can afford to finance without being sure, that
            this was a good investment
            > - it is about as long as one can stay in original underwear
            >
            > A longer visit
            > - enthusiasm is gone and normal life steps in
            > - one can not afford any more hang overs
            > - a plan has to be made " What shall we do with them?"
            > - guests begin to inspect the house and discover things, that were hidden
            from them
            > - Guests want to wash their clothing. Who will do that? If the guests do
            that, they may see the dirty underwear of the family, waiting there to be
            washed. If the hosts are to do that they will see theirs. ( I experienced an
            open offer of the host to wash the underwear of the guests!)
            > - Hosts begin to wonder, what is in the suitcases of the guests. ( I
            experienced this too. While the american lady was out for a church visit,
            her luggage was inspected by the housewife. Interesingly, she wanted me to
            be a witness, that she did not take anything)
            > - one has to go back to normal work and there is nobody to take care of
            the guest entertainment program
            > - one thinks about whether to go to the police and report a guest or not.
            Neighbors are watching this very closely.
            > - if the guests are taking their own tours and come only to sleep, the
            host gets a feeling of being used as a cheap hotel.
            > - usually, there is a question about the mobility of the guests. Should we
            give them our car or should one of us drive them around to places they want
            to see and other people they want to meet. Maybe the host is not on a good
            foot with some of those people or would not like to share "his American"
            with others.
            > - some people work and eat at the workplace. Who will cook for the
            visitors and what.
            >
            > So, these are some considerations, that show, that some thought has to be
            spent on these issues. A transition from a short visit to a longer one is
            crucial. Some don't master it and then we have complaints afterwards.
            > Being in a hotel and visiting relatives is a very safe option, but does
            not really promote creation of tighter family ties.
            > Finding the right blend is the art. This will be specific to any hosting
            family, so no advices can be given here.
            > With best regards,
            > Vladimir
            >
            >
            >
            > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
            >
            >
            >
            > To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
            > Slovak-World-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
            >
            >
            >
            > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
            >
            >
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