Re: [Slovak-World] Re: Visiting your relatives in Slovakia, a reply to all, that replied
- See folks, I must admit, I did not know you well enough either. I thought,
you will tear me apart. But I took a risk.
In a way, I am your ambassador too. When I find some relatives of someone, I
establish a pretty personal relation with them and all ask me, what are your
motives. An average Slovak can hardly imagine, that you are not after some
property. So I have to picture you as one, looking only for family members,
with most noble intentions.This bears also some responsibility.
Only once, in Sastin, I could not persuade them. They were really hostile.
There were other instances, where people or priests complained. I tried to
sum up those things in what I wrote.
Once I went to the Mayor's office to appologize for the misbehaviour of a US
visitor, whom I still don't know.
Some members of this list remember the case.
Not a stewardess smile, but a genuine, plain natural one will do miracles.
----- Original Message -----
From: "janeg23832" <janeg23832@...>
Sent: Tuesday, July 01, 2003 12:56 PM
Subject: [Slovak-World] Re: Visiting your relatives in Slovakia
> I am glad that you took the time to post your observations. These are
> all questions that I have had in the back of my mind and that I had
> concerns about. Like you said, I am going there to meet and get to
> know them, not come across like "Daddy Warbucks". BTW the dinner
> planning is already in the works.
> Thanks again.
> -World@yahoogroups.com, "Vladimir Bohinc" <konekta@n...> wrote:
> > Dear Freinds,
> > I just can't help myself, I must say a couple of words in this
> > Please, remember, that you are earning at least TEN times as much
> as the people you are visitng.
> > I know, it is a wonderful feeling to be like a millionaire in a
> poor country.Generally, in world tourism, there is a segment of
> people, who visit poor countries just to experience this feeling once
> in their life time.
> > But, you are supposed to visit your family, that is supposed to be
> your friends.
> > You will make no good friends, if you will;
> > - show off with all the gadgets of this world, that money can buy
> and everything that you have ( probably not really own) back home.
> > - talk to them via a laptop
> > - believe, that they will kiss your feet for one dollar note.(
> Americans are already well known here for giving away one dollar
> notes :-)
> > People know of all this and will not love or admire you more for
> that. It is really not neccessary the embrio of a good family
> relationship to be disturbed by plain envy, that is very common here.
> > All this can come later, when the relationship matures.
> > If you really are interested in a geunine human relation, then
> approach them with modesty and wisdom.
> > You are on their territory, so do not try to be bigger or wealthier
> or stronger than they are. Try to be equal. Do not be affraid of the
> langage. Learn some basic phrases and then, while with them, listen
> and learn as a child, with a good dosis of humor. Let them enjoy the
> feeling, that at least in language, you are helpless for a while.
> > You can keep your notes about the words and phrases, but it will
> take some time, till you will begin to understand the language
> really. Especially slovak grammar is very difficult to understand.
> > Your relatives will probably make great sacrifices for you, in
> money and time. There were cases, when people took a loan to finance
> the visit.
> > Try not to overstretch this and think about how you could do
> something for them in return, that has as much value for you, as it
> had for them.
> > Observe their habits and try to follow.( like shoes off, when you
> enter the flat etc.)
> > They will be asking you about your wealth. Hesitate to reveal
> everything. Be modest.Actually, your wealth should make you about as
> happy as their, although limited, wealth is making them satisfied as
> they are.
> > Also remember ; ( I was asked this question once, while I was
> touring some Americans " Vladimir, do those people really own all
> this - houses etc?")
> > Yes, they do. In the past, there were no loans like in the US, so
> people had to save and build their houses with their own hands. Only
> recently, loans are being used for cars and houses, but very limited.
> > If there is anybody in the family, that "speaks" english, talk
> slowly, in 'special english" and do not use complicated words and
> sentences.This will avoid misunderstandings. Often, the listener is
> affraid to admit, that he did not quite understand, and skips the
> word or takes it wrong. Make sure, you are well understood.
> > A day or two before you leave, throw a dinner for all in a place
> they will choose. It will not cost you much, but will remain in good
> memory of all.At this dinner, you could give a special present to the
> Lady of the household ( she is the head of the family anyway), where
> you were as a visitor.You must stand up, have a short speech, where
> you express your thanks for the hospitality (have someone to
> translate), add whatever is on your mind and then have a toast with
> all.(sorry, not sure about the word, but have a glass of good slovak
> wine with everyone)
> > Presents for the kids and general presents are given at arrival.
> > There is much more to say, but that would be too long.Surprises and
> lessons learned should be the thrill of the journey.
> > You just can not be prepared for everything.
> > With best wishes,
> > Vladimir
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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