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Re: [Slovak-World] Re: Visiting your relatives in Slovakia, a reply to all, that replied

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  • Vladimir Bohinc
    See folks, I must admit, I did not know you well enough either. I thought, you will tear me apart. But I took a risk. In a way, I am your ambassador too. When
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 1, 2003
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      See folks, I must admit, I did not know you well enough either. I thought,
      you will tear me apart. But I took a risk.
      In a way, I am your ambassador too. When I find some relatives of someone, I
      establish a pretty personal relation with them and all ask me, what are your
      motives. An average Slovak can hardly imagine, that you are not after some
      property. So I have to picture you as one, looking only for family members,
      with most noble intentions.This bears also some responsibility.
      Only once, in Sastin, I could not persuade them. They were really hostile.
      There were other instances, where people or priests complained. I tried to
      sum up those things in what I wrote.
      Once I went to the Mayor's office to appologize for the misbehaviour of a US
      visitor, whom I still don't know.
      Some members of this list remember the case.
      Not a stewardess smile, but a genuine, plain natural one will do miracles.

      ----- Original Message -----
      From: "janeg23832" <janeg23832@...>
      To: <Slovak-World@yahoogroups.com>
      Sent: Tuesday, July 01, 2003 12:56 PM
      Subject: [Slovak-World] Re: Visiting your relatives in Slovakia

      > Vladimir,
      > I am glad that you took the time to post your observations. These are
      > all questions that I have had in the back of my mind and that I had
      > concerns about. Like you said, I am going there to meet and get to
      > know them, not come across like "Daddy Warbucks". BTW the dinner
      > planning is already in the works.
      > Thanks again.
      > jimmy
      > -World@yahoogroups.com, "Vladimir Bohinc" <konekta@n...> wrote:
      > > Dear Freinds,
      > > I just can't help myself, I must say a couple of words in this
      > regard.
      > > Please, remember, that you are earning at least TEN times as much
      > as the people you are visitng.
      > > I know, it is a wonderful feeling to be like a millionaire in a
      > poor country.Generally, in world tourism, there is a segment of
      > people, who visit poor countries just to experience this feeling once
      > in their life time.
      > > But, you are supposed to visit your family, that is supposed to be
      > your friends.
      > > You will make no good friends, if you will;
      > > - show off with all the gadgets of this world, that money can buy
      > and everything that you have ( probably not really own) back home.
      > > - talk to them via a laptop
      > > - believe, that they will kiss your feet for one dollar note.(
      > Americans are already well known here for giving away one dollar
      > notes :-)
      > > People know of all this and will not love or admire you more for
      > that. It is really not neccessary the embrio of a good family
      > relationship to be disturbed by plain envy, that is very common here.
      > > All this can come later, when the relationship matures.
      > > If you really are interested in a geunine human relation, then
      > approach them with modesty and wisdom.
      > > You are on their territory, so do not try to be bigger or wealthier
      > or stronger than they are. Try to be equal. Do not be affraid of the
      > langage. Learn some basic phrases and then, while with them, listen
      > and learn as a child, with a good dosis of humor. Let them enjoy the
      > feeling, that at least in language, you are helpless for a while.
      > > You can keep your notes about the words and phrases, but it will
      > take some time, till you will begin to understand the language
      > really. Especially slovak grammar is very difficult to understand.
      > > Your relatives will probably make great sacrifices for you, in
      > money and time. There were cases, when people took a loan to finance
      > the visit.
      > > Try not to overstretch this and think about how you could do
      > something for them in return, that has as much value for you, as it
      > had for them.
      > > Observe their habits and try to follow.( like shoes off, when you
      > enter the flat etc.)
      > > They will be asking you about your wealth. Hesitate to reveal
      > everything. Be modest.Actually, your wealth should make you about as
      > happy as their, although limited, wealth is making them satisfied as
      > they are.
      > > Also remember ; ( I was asked this question once, while I was
      > touring some Americans " Vladimir, do those people really own all
      > this - houses etc?")
      > > Yes, they do. In the past, there were no loans like in the US, so
      > people had to save and build their houses with their own hands. Only
      > recently, loans are being used for cars and houses, but very limited.
      > >
      > > If there is anybody in the family, that "speaks" english, talk
      > slowly, in 'special english" and do not use complicated words and
      > sentences.This will avoid misunderstandings. Often, the listener is
      > affraid to admit, that he did not quite understand, and skips the
      > word or takes it wrong. Make sure, you are well understood.
      > > A day or two before you leave, throw a dinner for all in a place
      > they will choose. It will not cost you much, but will remain in good
      > memory of all.At this dinner, you could give a special present to the
      > Lady of the household ( she is the head of the family anyway), where
      > you were as a visitor.You must stand up, have a short speech, where
      > you express your thanks for the hospitality (have someone to
      > translate), add whatever is on your mind and then have a toast with
      > all.(sorry, not sure about the word, but have a glass of good slovak
      > wine with everyone)
      > > Presents for the kids and general presents are given at arrival.
      > > There is much more to say, but that would be too long.Surprises and
      > lessons learned should be the thrill of the journey.
      > > You just can not be prepared for everything.
      > > With best wishes,
      > > Vladimir
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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