Re: [Slovak-World] Harsh treatment of children
- Dear Vlad,
Sounds like you were out with an upper class lady who has someone else to manage her kids for her. Rich people are never interested in their children that much, and will tend to ignore what they can't control. I don't know how many times in stores and restaurants we have to shut our mouths when a child like that is having a tantrum! One of America's dubious freedoms, NEVER criticize your neighbor's kids! Most of the time they are usually embarrassed by everyone staring at them and will leave. But sounds like you met 'an ugly American' as they say!
As to why grandma is loved more than mother, please excuse me if I quote Bill Cosby, a great American comedian. "Grandmother and grandfather who fuss over and have money and presents for the grandchildren aren't the same people who raised him (His dad once told him, "I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it! And then make another one that looks just like you!), these are two old people trying to get into Heaven!" Grandma and grandpa can spoil the kids and get all the loving back, and then send them home at the end of the day to their parents!
As to hitting, my grandfathers did not ever spare the rod and spoil the child! The German American one or the Slovak one! My one uncle lost his hearing from being beaten around the head with just my Slovak grandfather's hand. Then he switched to spanking, the American punishment. My dad never struck us, but the sound of his temper was enough to terrify anyone. Generally intimidation worked best on my block. The mother's only had to say, "Wait till your father gets home!"
But in America today it is against the law to strike your child in any way. Parents can have their children taken away by the government if there is any report of "abuse". Teachers have lost their jobs for even the hint of that. Which is why teaching is really losing allot teachers. Children in big city schools in the US, usually the poorest of children, carry guns and knives and there is a raging drug and gang problem. Their entire lives are surrounded by violence and the teachers have no recourse to defend themselves in the class room or even keep order. We should have ex-military not sweet little old ladies teaching in our inner city schools!
I live in the suburbs of Detroit, a good distance from downtown. No one in their right mind lives IN Detroit! I won't go into the horror stories, but there are houses down there that look like they are from downtown Beirut! And right next door are fabulous car assembly plants, who's workers live sometimes 30 miles away. And sadly, there isn't a week that doesn't go by about children being shot in drive-by-shootings that are related to gangs or drugs. The edge of that violent world moves out a little more every year and is now about 2 miles from us. Fortunately we live in a blue collar neighborhood (factory, middle class workers) where the excesses of poverty or wealth are mostly absent.
Most big cities are being reclaimed but Detroit is still lost in a jungle of violence. I have only been down to the convention center, a few square miles isolated from the rest of the city. We sometimes go to International Auto Shows, or the Hockey games but never leave the area. Even the bridge and tunnel to Canada is in this zone. Now there's a nice country!
As to my own generation, I think with both parents working full time and maybe 40-60 hours a week (normal in Detroit-land!) discipline is either from day-care workers or sports programs at school. They are lucky to see their grandparents on holidays, families are so pressed for time. My sister-in-law has four sisters living in the area and they share raising each other's kids. They are really lucky. Most kids spend their time with electronic babysitters: the TV and internet. I think this was a really nice place to live back after WWII. Its been down hill since!
Any other questions about crazy American behavior, just ask.
----- Original Message -----
From: Paul J. Wolsko
Sent: Sunday, June 01, 2003 11:40 AM
Subject: Re: [Slovak-World] Harsh treatment of children
I'd rather have had my parents hit me than to pull the mind games that they
did. You can get over being hit, but mental injuries last a lifetime.
> "Save the stick-spoil the child?"
> How was that?
> Do any of the members recall anything about harsh treatment of children in
> Have any of the members been beaten or punished while young?
> Why babicka is more popular and loved than mother?
> Is this issue a taboo?
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
- At 10:57 AM 6/2/2003 -0700, you wrote:
>On Mon, 2 Jun 2003 BJLK@... wrote:More like an attempt to assert dominance. The alpha wolf thing.
> > There are probably as many as there are parents who can invent creative
> > punishments. I was given wood chunks to kneel on (the kind that are
> > chopped for the fireplace or furnace with lots of splinters). I'm a little
> > surprised to see that "painful kneeling" seems to be more a common
> experience than I
> > ever imagined. Is this a downside of being brought up Slovak?
> > B. J. Licko-Keel (BJLK@...)
>Sounds like a downside of being brought up Catholic. :)