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30297Re: [Slovak-World] Re: rabbit

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  • Julie Michutka
    Sep 30, 2010
      Oy. A glass of water it is. *sigh*

      Julie


      On Sep 30, 2010, at 2:11 PM, votrubam wrote:

      >> Everything I've read says that animals raised on family farms
      >> -- cows, chickens, pigs, everything -- really do taste better
      >> because they are raised in a fairly stress free environment.
      >> We should all look for our food raised with love and affection
      >
      > Crossbreeding them to want to be made a meal of could improve things
      > even more, it's been suggested (details below).
      >
      >
      >
      > Martin
      >
      > x x x
      >
      > From Douglas Adams, "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe."
      >
      > |
      > The waiter approached. "Would you like to see the menu?" he said,
      > "or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?"
      >
      > "Huh?" said Ford.
      > "Huh?" said Arthur.
      > "Huh?" said Trillian.
      > "That's cool," said Zaphod, "we'll meet the meat."
      >
      > A large dairy animal approached Zaphod's table, a large fat meaty
      > quadruped of the bovine type with large watery eyes, small horns and
      > what might almost have been an ingratiating smile on its lips.
      >
      > "Good evening," it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches, "I am
      > the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in the parts of my
      > body?"
      >
      > It harrumphed and gurgled a bit, wriggled its hind quarters in to a
      > more comfortable position and gazed peacefully at them.
      >
      > Its gaze was met by looks of startled bewilderment from Arthur and
      > Trillian, a resigned shrug from Ford and naked hunger from Zaphod.
      >
      > "Something off the shoulder perhaps?" suggested the animal, "Braised
      > in a white wine sauce?"
      >
      > "Er, _your_ shoulder?" said Arthur in a horrified whisper.
      >
      > "But naturally my shoulder, sir," mooed the animal contentedly,
      > "nobody else's is mine to offer."
      >
      > Zaphod leaped to his feet and started prodding and feeling the
      > animal's shoulder appreciatively.
      >
      > "Or the rump is very good," murmured the animal. "I've been
      > exercising it and eating plenty of grain, so there's a lot of good
      > meat there."
      >
      > It gave a mellow grunt, gurgled again and started to chew the cud.
      > It swallowed the cud again.
      >
      > "Or a casselore of me perhaps?" it added.
      >
      > "That's absolutely horrible," exclaimed Arthur, "the most revolting
      > thing I've ever heard.'
      >
      > "What's the problem?" said Zaphod, now transferring his attention to
      > the animal's enormous rump.
      >
      > "I just don't want to eat an animal that's standing there inviting
      > me to," said Arthur, "It's heartless."
      >
      > "Better than eating an animal that doesn't want to be eaten," said
      > Zaphod.
      >
      > "That's not the point," Arthur protested. Then he thought about it
      > for a moment. "Alright," he said, "maybe it is the point. I don't
      > care, I'm not going to think about it now. I'll just... er... I
      > think I'll just have a green salad," he muttered.
      >
      > "May I urge you to consider my liver?" asked the animal, "it must be
      > very rich and tender by now, I've been force-feeding myself for
      > months."
      >
      > "A green salad," said Arthur emphatically.
      >
      > "A green salad?" said the animal, rolling his eyes disapprovingly at
      > Arthur.
      >
      > "Are you going to tell me," said Arthur, "that I shouldn't have
      > green salad?"
      >
      > "Well," said the animal, "I know many vegetables that are very clear
      > on that point. Which is why it was eventually decided to cut
      > through the whole tangled problem and breed an animal that actually
      > wanted to be eaten and was capable of saying so clearly and
      > distinctly. And here I am." It managed a very slight bow.
      >
      > "Glass of water please," said Arthur.
      >
      > "Look," said Zaphod, "we want to eat, we don't want to make a meal
      > of the issues. Four rare steaks please, and hurry."
      >
      > The animal staggered to its feet. It gave a mellow gurgle. "A very
      > wise choice, sir, if I may say so. Very good," it said, "I'll just
      > nip off and shoot myself."
      >
      > He turned and gave a friendly wink to Arthur. "Don't worry, sir,"
      > he said, "I'll be very humane."
      >
      > It waddled unhurriedly off to the kitchen.
      >
      >
      >
      > ------------------------------------
      >
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