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Genius Jones Rides Again

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  • captgerry52
    Are you sure about this, Genius?, Dover asked. Business has been slow lately. I got this time machine finished and I intend to test it. Then one of us
    Message 1 of 3 , Aug 1, 2006
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      "Are you sure about this, Genius?," Dover asked.
      "Business has been slow lately. I got this time machine finished and
      I intend to test it."
      "Then one of us should go with you," Clover said. "What if something
      goes wrong?"
      "I'll face that when it comes. It was great meeting you guys."
      "What setting are you using?," Superboy asked.
      "The Old West, circa 1865. I'll miss the Civil War but be involved in
      the settling of the area. Wish me luck."
      Genius stepped into the tiny globe and it began to spin like a top.
      The globe began to glow and then vanished.
      "Do you think he's all right?," Clover asked.
      "I hope so," Johnny Quick said. "I guess we won't know until or
      unless he comes back."
    • Dan Swanson
      OK, you got me. Who are Dover and Clover? What brought Johnny Quick, Superboy, Dover and Clover together? Looking forward to more.
      Message 2 of 3 , Aug 1, 2006
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        OK, you got me. Who are Dover and Clover? What brought Johnny Quick,
        Superboy, Dover and Clover together? Looking forward to more.
      • Ernie Ball
        Just let me pass along to you and other new writers what I paid to learn. Give us a starting point--world, year--some point of reference. Introduce the
        Message 3 of 3 , Aug 1, 2006
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          Just let me pass along to you and other new writers what I paid to learn. Give us a starting point--world, year--some point of reference. Introduce the characters--we know who Johnny Quick and Superboy are, but Dover and Clover are new (my guess is that they are somehow attached to the Genius Jones mythology). It would also be a good idea to explain why this group is gathered.

          That said, let me say that this was very enjoyable and has promise. A possible fix to the points I mentioned above is to do a flashback as soon as possible. One suggestion is to take Genius Jones to his destination, then let him reflect back on what brought him to this point.

          Driv

          PS: Remember, rewrite is not a dirty word.

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