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BY Way of Introduction...(long)

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  • Seeker
    Good Morning All: I have just joined the list, spent the past few days reading some of the old posts and thought I might as well dive in and introduce myself.
    Message 1 of 2 , Jul 6, 2005
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      Good Morning All:

      I have just joined the list, spent the past few days reading some of
      the old posts and thought I might as well dive in and introduce
      myself.

      I go by the name Seeker and have been following a druid path the last
      several years. I am 50 years old, living outside Washington DC,
      happily married with four kids and have been feeling a little out-of-
      sorts the last few months. Briefly, I have always been a very
      spiritual person, formerly Roman Catholic, and five years ago, I
      suffered a pretty major heart attack. (stress, smoking, family
      history, etc). I had already drifted away from the Catholic Church by
      that time and had been searching for something that would bring me
      some peace…I then discovered Druidry. Without going into any details,
      it has filled a need in me that I feel has made me a better person.

      But, to the present…I have always had some fairly intense meditations
      but, lately, some of them have been pretty extreme. Along with my
      spirit guide, an Owl has occasionally accompanied me in my travels.
      Well, about three – four weeks ago, I had this one session where I
      was walking in complete darkness…the ground was dark, the rain was
      dark, the sky was dark, hell…even the wind felt dark. My spirit
      guide, Owl and I came upon a large swirling hole (that's the best I
      can describe it) which started to suck me in. I fought like hell to
      not go in there…the fact was I was scared. I looked to my spirit
      guide who had disappeared! And Owl was frantically tugging at my
      shirt TRYING to pull me in!
      I kept resisting and resisting until I finally came out of the
      session sweating like crazy and feeling my heart coming through my
      chest.

      After that, I kept having dreams about the "dark hole" and Owl and it
      was really getting to me. I started reading everything I could about
      journeying and shamanism trying to make some sense of what had
      happened to me. I decided that the only way I could get over this was
      to revisit the journey. So last week, I did.

      This time, upon entering my sacred grove (that is where I begin my
      meditations sessions), only Owl was there waiting. We started walking…
      walking…walking until it grew dark again…and there was the hole! Once
      again, I felt the pull to go in and looked at Owl. He said "It is
      time" and flew in. Man, I can't tell you how scared I was! But, I
      closed my eyes and went in. It was strange-as if walking through a
      thick, dark mist – felt like I was in slow motion. But as soon as I
      felt like I had walked in, I came out the other side. It was abrupt
      and startled me. I was on a cliff and it seemed like it was dusk.

      All of a sudden I felt thrown to the ground, immense pressure on all
      my limbs but I couldn't see anyone. And then, the pressure started
      building inside my chest and I thought, oh my gods, I'm having
      another heart attack…I'm dying! But it felt worse…it was agony…the
      pressure kept building and building until I thought I was going to
      burst. I was crying and screaming and then I watched in agony as my
      chest started to open up in shreds…just bursting apart as Owl was
      clawing his way out of my body! He was bursting my chest open trying
      to get out. I can't begin to tell you how awful the pain was…

      Next thing I knew, I woke up on the floor at my house sweating and
      panting for breath. I slowly got myself up and quickly proceeded to
      vomit all over the floor. It took me several days to feel anywhere
      close to normal. Since then, I have not meditated and I have not had
      any bad dreams. I just feel weird and strange. I don't know what
      happened to me.

      I don't feel crazy-and I can function as well as ever at work (well,
      except maybe being a little preoccupied with this stuff in my head).
      I just feel…calm.

      I wasn't sure who to talk to until I found you on the web. Thought
      you might be able to make some sense out of it. Any help or advice is
      certainly appreciated.

      Thanks again for listening.

      Seeker
    • Dave McKeen
      Hi Seeker and welcome, Actually a vision of your own death and/or dismemberment is part of a traditional Shamanic initiation vision. You can now journey the
      Message 2 of 2 , Jul 6, 2005
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        Hi Seeker and welcome,

        Actually a vision of your own death and/or dismemberment is part of a
        traditional Shamanic initiation vision. You can now journey the different
        realms with which ever guide is available to you. While Owl is present now
        look around and you will find others. For me, the guide best suited to the
        task usually appears when needed. When visiting other realms like that, it
        is best if you go when you have a specific purpose. Just going to explore
        can be risky but if your guides say go, trust them. You should not have
        anything that scary happen again. Not aimed at you personally anyway. :-D

        Stormrider

        Living one life at a time, my journey is always refreshing!

        At 10:13 AM 7/6/2005, you wrote:
        >Good Morning All:
        >
        >I have just joined the list, spent the past few days reading some of
        >the old posts and thought I might as well dive in and introduce
        >myself.
        >
        >I go by the name Seeker
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