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Drinking Christian/Starbucks Challenged

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  • thesermonfodderguy
    Drinking Christian A woman who happened to be a dedicated Christian and faithful member of her church had been working really hard to get the catsup to come
    Message 1 of 1 , Oct 12, 2008
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      Drinking Christian

      A woman who happened to be a dedicated Christian and faithful member
      of her church had been working really hard to get the catsup to come
      out of the jar. During her struggle the kitchen phone rang, so she
      asked her four-year old daughter to answer.

      'It's Pastor Bob, Mommy,' the child said to her mother. Before the
      busy mother could tell the child to have him hold on for a minute,
      the youngster quickly responded back to the minister, 'Mommy can't
      talk on the phone right now, she's hitting the bottle.'

      From http://gatewaytojesus.com/funnychurchhumor3.html

      By way of the Sermon Fodder list. To get a regular dose of Christian
      humor and a modern-day parable go to www.sermonfodder.com and click
      at the bottom to join our merry gruop. Please leave this attached if
      you forward or post on the web.

      My recent absence....

      It's been a wild month. Our last Sermon Fodder Posting was on
      September 28th. There's a reason. I got a 48 hour bug and ended up
      in the hospital for two days. Apparently that weakened my immune
      system and I've ened up with allergies that have required two trips
      back to the doctor and have evolved into about a week of laryngitis.
      I'm loaded up on medication. You prayers would be appreciated. I
      need all the help I can get.

      The Sermnon Fodder Guy


      House of SMITE

      Halloween is almost here. All the kids are working on their costumes,
      decorating their houses, and dreaming of huge bags of candy.

      Many churches provide an alternative for the kids at Halloween, with
      the hope that they'll mend their wicked ways. Hell Houses, Judgment
      Houses, and Revelation Walks.

      In addition to doing some great Bible Teaching on the Key Life
      Network (KeyLife.org), my friend Steve Brown has a quasi-secular
      radio show. Steve and his crew produced a spoof radio spot for an
      evanvelical based house of horror like so many that pop up this time
      of year. For the latest "House of Smite Radio" spot go to:



      I'm Starbucks Challenged

      By Steve Hanchett

      A couple of times a week I meet with some friends in the morning for
      coffee. It gives us a chance to shoot the bull and solve all the
      world's problems. Earlier this week we decided to break our normal
      routine and go to Starbucks for our session.

      To me coffee is coffee. I have never tried Frapacinno or Cappacino
      and I don't think I even have them spelled correctly. Just give me
      some regular ole coffee and I'm content. Don't need anything with
      stuff on top, or anything that has to be mixed in a blender, and for
      sure don't put ice in it.

      When I got in line at Starbucks a young man was in front of me and he
      ordered something like a "Starbucks moccha latte iced with a double
      shot with cream whipped shaken not stirred." He said it so fast I
      didn't quite make out exactly what he wanted but the smiling woman
      taking his order didn't miss a beat. She put the concoction together
      in no time.

      My turn - "Good morning!!!! Welcome to Starbucks!!!! How can I help

      "I want coffee," I replied.

      She paused and with a confused look on her face asked me if I wanted
      a "tall."

      Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure there is a good reason they don't
      call them small, medium and large, but that is my gauge for drinks.
      Asking me about tall and short and whatever comes in between is like
      talking to me about liters and kilometers. I'm just guessing at some
      sort of conversion into measurements I understand. It was too
      early. "I want a small coffee."

      "What kind of coffee do you want?" She said, the smile now absent.

      "Just regular coffee," I said.

      "We have a "Wild West Jamaican Dark Roasted Morning Wakeup Call or
      the Costa Rican Spring Break Restful Medium Blend," she said.

      "Just give me the medium thing. A small one."

      "OK, I need a short Costa Rican Spring Break Restful Medium," she
      said to no one in particular but a blond college age girl sprang into
      action. "That will be $6,359 and 23 cents. Do you want that on your
      credit card?"

      They need to have special classes for ordering at Starbucks. How do
      all these people know what this stuff is? I'll I know is that you
      drink coffee and some people put sugar and/or cream in it. I'm
      Starbucks challenged. I think I'm past learning how to order at
      Starbucks. So its back to the old hang out where you just ask for
      coffee. They don't give you options about the size of the thing. You
      just get a cup and the waitress comes around occasionally and asks if
      you want it warmed up. They put a chrome mini-pitcher on the table
      with cream in it and a glass sugar jar with the flappy lid from which
      it comes out. Its pretty simple and it only costs about a buck.

      Incidentally, I notice that Starbucks ends with a buck in the plural
      form - "BUCKS." Aptly named I say.

      To learn more about Steve Hanchett go to www.mostimportantthing.org
      and type in "Steve Hanchett" in the search box

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