Drinking Christian/Starbucks Challenged
- Drinking Christian
A woman who happened to be a dedicated Christian and faithful member
of her church had been working really hard to get the catsup to come
out of the jar. During her struggle the kitchen phone rang, so she
asked her four-year old daughter to answer.
'It's Pastor Bob, Mommy,' the child said to her mother. Before the
busy mother could tell the child to have him hold on for a minute,
the youngster quickly responded back to the minister, 'Mommy can't
talk on the phone right now, she's hitting the bottle.'
By way of the Sermon Fodder list. To get a regular dose of Christian
humor and a modern-day parable go to www.sermonfodder.com and click
at the bottom to join our merry gruop. Please leave this attached if
you forward or post on the web.
My recent absence....
It's been a wild month. Our last Sermon Fodder Posting was on
September 28th. There's a reason. I got a 48 hour bug and ended up
in the hospital for two days. Apparently that weakened my immune
system and I've ened up with allergies that have required two trips
back to the doctor and have evolved into about a week of laryngitis.
I'm loaded up on medication. You prayers would be appreciated. I
need all the help I can get.
The Sermnon Fodder Guy
House of SMITE
Halloween is almost here. All the kids are working on their costumes,
decorating their houses, and dreaming of huge bags of candy.
Many churches provide an alternative for the kids at Halloween, with
the hope that they'll mend their wicked ways. Hell Houses, Judgment
Houses, and Revelation Walks.
In addition to doing some great Bible Teaching on the Key Life
Network (KeyLife.org), my friend Steve Brown has a quasi-secular
radio show. Steve and his crew produced a spoof radio spot for an
evanvelical based house of horror like so many that pop up this time
of year. For the latest "House of Smite Radio" spot go to:
I'm Starbucks Challenged
By Steve Hanchett
A couple of times a week I meet with some friends in the morning for
coffee. It gives us a chance to shoot the bull and solve all the
world's problems. Earlier this week we decided to break our normal
routine and go to Starbucks for our session.
To me coffee is coffee. I have never tried Frapacinno or Cappacino
and I don't think I even have them spelled correctly. Just give me
some regular ole coffee and I'm content. Don't need anything with
stuff on top, or anything that has to be mixed in a blender, and for
sure don't put ice in it.
When I got in line at Starbucks a young man was in front of me and he
ordered something like a "Starbucks moccha latte iced with a double
shot with cream whipped shaken not stirred." He said it so fast I
didn't quite make out exactly what he wanted but the smiling woman
taking his order didn't miss a beat. She put the concoction together
in no time.
My turn - "Good morning!!!! Welcome to Starbucks!!!! How can I help
"I want coffee," I replied.
She paused and with a confused look on her face asked me if I wanted
Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure there is a good reason they don't
call them small, medium and large, but that is my gauge for drinks.
Asking me about tall and short and whatever comes in between is like
talking to me about liters and kilometers. I'm just guessing at some
sort of conversion into measurements I understand. It was too
early. "I want a small coffee."
"What kind of coffee do you want?" She said, the smile now absent.
"Just regular coffee," I said.
"We have a "Wild West Jamaican Dark Roasted Morning Wakeup Call or
the Costa Rican Spring Break Restful Medium Blend," she said.
"Just give me the medium thing. A small one."
"OK, I need a short Costa Rican Spring Break Restful Medium," she
said to no one in particular but a blond college age girl sprang into
action. "That will be $6,359 and 23 cents. Do you want that on your
They need to have special classes for ordering at Starbucks. How do
all these people know what this stuff is? I'll I know is that you
drink coffee and some people put sugar and/or cream in it. I'm
Starbucks challenged. I think I'm past learning how to order at
Starbucks. So its back to the old hang out where you just ask for
coffee. They don't give you options about the size of the thing. You
just get a cup and the waitress comes around occasionally and asks if
you want it warmed up. They put a chrome mini-pitcher on the table
with cream in it and a glass sugar jar with the flappy lid from which
it comes out. Its pretty simple and it only costs about a buck.
Incidentally, I notice that Starbucks ends with a buck in the plural
form - "BUCKS." Aptly named I say.
To learn more about Steve Hanchett go to www.mostimportantthing.org
and type in "Steve Hanchett" in the search box